Anon's true happy ending? | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous There is this p the gun, and; 2.19 MB WEBM 06/22/23(Thu)15:11:13 No.73764658 >stop touching my d--- and gaming for hours >went to sleep early to wake up early to practice uphill endurance biking and skateboard >went outside and got more sunlight >ate more healthy also stopped eating leftover meat that i know was left out longer than 1 hr but didnt think the alleged toxins accumulation wasnt affecting me (it was) >tapered my junkfood snacking from a whole bag of chips to half to a quarter to none >despite my sperg demeanor ive learned to accept i'll commit a cringe moment 1-3 times daily and not let it ruin my mood >genuinely feel like im impr00vin for once and feel happy i wish somebody told me it would be this easy to stop being depressed sooner

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is an unhinged dog murderer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >loser neet >forced to take care of retard dog my retard parents bought >they make me walk and feed the thing when they are away >take it out into our garage and kill it >call my mom and tell her the dog ran off leash and ran away >parents suspect me for no reason and say that they are fed up with my s--- even though they have no way of knowing that the dog isnt actually missing >parents seemed consistently enraged at me for past couple days PLEASE WAIT 99 SECONDS FOR BOOBS 216 KB GIF how can i convince them the dog really ran away and it wasnt my fault? i dont want to get kicked out have to get a job pic unrel 4 Replies / 2 Images 06/22/23(Thu)18:25:12 No.73766360 : Anonymous really n---- : Anonymous >>73766360 (OP) # >parents suspect me for no reason And their suspicions are correct, no? Why the f--- would you kill it dude? Also what's so hard about getting a job, it's not that bad 06/22/23(Thu)18:32:27 No.73766413 290 KB PNG View Thread 06/22/23(Thu)18:30:00 No.73766395 >>73766360 (OP) # >killed the dog >"why do they suspect me?" i hope they kill you, not because i'm angry about the dog, but because your a f------ retard

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Princess Die | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 324 KB JPG 06/21/23(Wed)16:49:38 No.15232855 >named Princess Die >dies Anonymous >>15232855 (OP) # Who writes this s--- 06/21/23(Wed)18:18:51 No.15233135

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Anon knows what happened to the Titanic Sub | /r/Greentext

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UNDA DA SEA | /r/Greentext

File: 1687450506218295.jpg (48 KB, 447x426) Anonymous (ID: FU8WICFJ 31 06/22/23(Thu)18:41:00 No.431627113 » >>431627412 >>431627687 >>431627959 >>431628383 >>431629020 >UNDA DA SEA >UNDA DA SEEAAA >YOU WENT WITH WHAT'S CHEAPA >NOW YOUR FISH DINNA >TAKE IT FROM MEEEE >> Anonymous (ID: (iRpqF3Wm) 06/22/23(Thu)18:43:33 No.431627412 >>431628612 File: IMG_8805.jpg (173 KB, 557x557) >>431627113 (OP). >We're trapped here together >But still it's farewell >Maybe we'll suffocate >Deep Sea, who can tell? >I guess there is someone to blame >We're leaving ground (leaving ground) >Will things ever be the same again? >It's the final countdown

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anon get bright red jingleballs | /r/Greentext

File: 1687445935945.jpg (15 KB, 236x282) Help i f----- my balls Anonymous 06/22/23(Thu)22:59:03 No.29191667 [Reply] ► >>29191676 >take a shower >decide to apply some deodorant on the crotch area >next day balls are bright red, like they've been burned or something >took another shower scrubbing crotch >today they're even brighter red and feel sensitive to the touch what's going on? should i seek doctor? Anonymous 06/22/23(Thu)23:03:21 No.29191676 >>29191667 (OP) >deodorant on the crotch holy f--- you retard

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Anon creates a quantum universe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)11:26:15 No.30411341 >be lonely neckbeard mechanical engineer in 2020-2021 >Do massive amounts of drugs >Create temple of god in bedroom >Create quantum universe in bedroom >Create holographic slit grid out of window screen >Place fan by window screen and oscillate >Sit in total darkness and vibrate at same frequency as oscillating fan >Window screen electrifies >Use hands and mind to roll up balls of dark energy and convert it into a spark of binary quantum entangled light >Let if float off in room >Fan sucks it in and out through grid >Becomes holographic light in my night sky >Days later >Mysterious orbs in sky videos all over youtube >"We believe these are aliens from the future trying to show us something" Sigh

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Anon misunderstands the job interviewer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 私はが必要 3 KB PNG 06/22/23(Thu)10:26:24 No.73761491 >be me >at a job interview >it's going pretty well >interviewer asks me "how often were you absent or tardy at your last job?" >"well i'm not a super genius, but i'm definitely not... you know... tardy" >he just looks at me >think he wants me to continue so i say "i mean, i've made dumb mistakes but it's definitely not to the point of calling them "tardy", you know?" >"o...kay, let's move on" >rest of the interview is awkward >realize on the drive home that's not what he meant i'm not getting that job, am i?

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Anon is not a DCEU fan | /r/Greentext

File: Pa_kent.jpg (81 KB, 1280x720) O Anonymous 06/22/23(Thu)09:48:54 No.186648611 ► >>186648659 >>186648803 >>186649163 >>186649241 >>186649289 >>186649352 >>186649907 >>186652235 >>186652424 >>186653206 >>186653591 >>186654516 >>186655150 >>186655204 >>186655226 >stop my invincible son, those 4 rednecks might think you are superhuman if you save me >> Anonymous 06/22/23(Thu)09:50:37 No.186648659 >>186652315 >>186652491 >>186648611 (OP). >filtered ☐ Anonymous 06/22/23 (Thu)09:55:33 No.186648803 ► >>186648964>>186649012 >>186649878 >>186652686 >>186653452 >>186654644 >>186655191 >>186648611 (OP) He knew his son would be judged and his life made into living hell. F--- humans. >t. Kryptonian BVLL >> Anonymous 06/22/23(Thu)10:00:46 No.186648964>>186650216 >>186652315 >>186652748 >>186648803 >He knew his son would be judged >Heyyy Ya'll did ya see them Kent boy like run so fast in the tornado, fastest damn run I saw since that time ol' Pitchork's horse got pecked in the ass by Reedneck's chicken Next day it would be on Daily Planet's front page. >> Anonymous 06/22/23 (Thu)10:02:05 No.186649012>>186649173 >>186649609 >>186649610 >>186653478 >>186653707 >>186648803 the thing with superman is he has no need to be afraid of literally anything humans can do. Anonymous 06/22/23(Thu)10:06:54 No.186649146 ► >>186655226 File: stop my invincible son.gif (2.65 MB, 360x152) >Stop, I beg of you! I know you're so fast no one would even notice you saved me, least of all amongst all the high winds and debris and the chaos! No! This is it for me, my invincible son. I'm content with knowing you could've saved both the dog and me. Farewell!

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Anon's prayers are answered | /r/Greentext

File: FQhqsPzVUAAp_tR.jpg (14 KB, 236x283) Anonymous 06/21/23(Wed)15:47:20 No.35094299 >>35094325 >>35094339 >>35094369 >>35094379 >>35094580 >>35094983 >>35097058 >>35097094 >become homeless >only friend I've had as an adult died semi-recently and my family won't speak to me after finding out about my drug problem >pray to God for guidance to safety as I'm faced with many life threatening situations while traveling by foot across county lines to find a shelter without a wait list >kinda obvious (at least to me) that he answers them, such as when I asked him to lead me to a safe neighborhood before dark to sleep, as soon as the sun had fully set I was right in front of a church in a rich white neighborhood with a perfect awning to sleep under >pray to Jesus to help me forgive myself for guilt I feel around my friend's death and to turn the other cheek/forgive my family for abandoning me because I turned to drugs to cope with the loss, feels as though he answered >Pray to the holy ghost to convince me to take better care of myself and find success through selfless actions, I end up losing the weight I never had motivation to and was offered a well paying job as a staff member at a homeless shelter when previously no one would hire me >Any time I tell someone about my experience finding faith in the Holy Trinity after being a lifelong atheist, I'm told none of it is real and that I might be schizophrenic Well /x/, should I find a psychiatrist or...?

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anon reads plato | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/18 (Wed)19:48:00 No. 10877907 >reading Plato on the subway >Parmenides, struggling to understand >black guy next to me glances over >"Are you an intellectual ?" >"Not really." >"That's why you read Plato" >he smiles and leaves a few stations later >come home and try thinking of comebacks in the shower what the f---

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Anon asks a simple question | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/21/23 (Wed)12:49:46 No.186599471 >>186599495 >It looks like we are gonna die >We have nothing to do >Wanna f---? Would you do it? I'm not even gay but I might as well try some c--- if I-m gonna die like that

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Anon owns an assault musket | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/14/14(Fri)16:45:38 No.23597742 >>23598046 >Buy musket for home defense >Finally one night I hear a crash >Dawn my powdered wig and petticoat >musket is ready to fire. >my home surround sound is also primed and ready to play "The Royal Hussars" >Hit play >"TALLEY HO LADSI" >run downstairs and into my living room >two men are carrying my T.V. >put a basketball sized hole in one >The other attempts to drop my T.V and run >"AFIX BAYONETS GENTLEMEN" >Charge after him >Jam my bayonet into his anus as he tries to climb back through a broken window. >call police >have tea ready for them.

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