Anon owns an assault musket | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 11/14/14(Fri)16:45:38 No.23597742 >>23598046 >Buy musket for home defense >Finally one night I hear a crash >Dawn my powdered wig and petticoat >musket is ready to fire. >my home surround sound is also primed and ready to play "The Royal Hussars" >Hit play >"TALLEY HO LADSI" >run downstairs and into my living room >two men are carrying my T.V. >put a basketball sized hole in one >The other attempts to drop my T.V and run >"AFIX BAYONETS GENTLEMEN" >Charge after him >Jam my bayonet into his anus as he tries to climb back through a broken window. >call police >have tea ready for them.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon going for a dinner with new GF | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22/06/23 16:36:28 No.62207489 148 KB JPG >new girl at work >were all working from home >she sends me pics of her legs wearing short shorts that look more like underwear >"Im working like this today, hehe" >this happens multiple times >I figure that maybe she's trying to flirt >ask her if she wants to go get something to eat >I don't see you that way, we're better off friends, blah blah Why do women do this?

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Anon doesn’t like minceraft | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 179 KB JPG >>637103987 # 05/13/23(Sat) 14:52:19 No.637103867 >>637101641 (OP) # >make a cool building game >hand it off to some retard who spends 10 years trying to violently cram RPG mechanics where they don't belong

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Anon questions the brainwashing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous PACKAGE THIEVES VS. GLITTER BOMB PRANK 3.0 06/22/23(Thu)00:37:07 No.73757641 14 KB JPG >going for run >go past house >see a courier has left a package by someone's letterbox (like an amazon delivery) >my instinct is that I want it, I want to take it, open it, see whats inside, it could be good, valuable, beneficial to me, etc >think well I shouldn't because there might be cameras or I could be caught and ruin my reputation, and I'd feel fear stealing it, and I could get a criminal conviction, and even a small part of me thinks the person would want their package and it would cause them a hassle if they don't get it >realise I am just cucking myself I mean is this it? Is this morality? Because I feel like this is b-------. I wanted the package and then all this brainwashing and self-cucking kicked in and prevented me from acting on my desires. and now I sit here, without the package and for why? Some made up fear in my mind? There's no way I'd be caught. Some made up empathy s---? The guy is probably a f------ f----- anyway. Me caring about this stuff = me not getting what I actually want. Next time I'm just gonna take it.

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Anon is a nudist | /r/Greentext

O ☐ Anonymous 06/21/23(Wed)12:47:17 No.71349708 [Reply] My neighbor's daughter caught me training naked in my garden >Be me >Every summer I set up my home gym in the garden >I usually work out shirtless and in shorts. >I saw on fit some time ago that sunbathing your balls increase insanly your test >After my OHP, on a whim, I decide to take off my shorts and lie down on the grass. >I look around a bit and notice that there's a window in my neighbor's house that looks directly onto my garden. >I look around autistically and see that her daughter (a 13-year-old loli) is looking at me. >I act as if nothing had happened and pretend to go drinking >I come back with my short and continu my workout Frens i'm really afraid she'll tell her mother and call the cops O Anonymous 06/21/23(Wed)17:30:45 No.71352636 ► >>71352171 you forgot the -she started to have lewd thoughts by seeing anons willy

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anon meets himself | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/21/23(Wed)22:36:00 No.901333219 >be me >be dreamin >be drivin >suddenly three cars identical to my make and model pass by me and pull over >three alternate versions of myself get out of each. >I pull over and talk to them >one is me from a universe where World War 2 never happened >the other was just me with glasses >the final one was a female version of me >h-------- I'm sexy as f--- >check to see if she isn't a t----- >she isn't >shootmyshot.jpg >get rejected >mfw I was rejected by myself >mfw she hits me on the head with a golf club and jacks my car does this dream just further confirm that every piece of my subconscious hates me?

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Anon thinks she's in a healthy relationship | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 256 KB JPG 06/22/23(Thu)00:23:21 No.901320844 >be me, 20 >finally get into a healthy relationship >hes an absolute green flag in every way possible >he thinks things i would say before i even say them >we talk for hours, and cant even send memes to each other sometimes bc our feeds are the same reccommended >wonder why hes suddenly become distant >do everything i can to fix things, give him homemade gifts, give him more space since i felt like i was annoying him >he cheated for 2 weeks, sexting a girl in another country >received nudes and exchanged provocative messages >he never loved her, he says. says she was never worth it >forgive him, involving me seeing him cry for the first time and beg me to help him change im so confused on my emotions /b/, how do i know i can trust him. hes the first person ive ever trusted this much in my life, im so terrified of losing him because of how important he is to me. i dont know if i can fix him, or if he is telling the truth in wanting to be fixed

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Anon doesn't want the value of his house to go down | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/22/23(Thu)01:19:41 No.901323658 King_Von_Icebox.png 217 KB PNG IC ICEBOX CUSTOM nogome >pretty sure a house in my neighborhood is or is becoming a crack house >saw the (black) tenants move out last year and never seen anyone move in since >yet black guys dressed like thugs go in and out of the back of the house at random hours >cars pull up randomly in the back, thugs go to passenger side windows and hang for a minute, obviously there are drug deals going down >i also hear crazy loud banging from time to time coming from the crack house so loud that it shakes the walls of my house >i can see into the upper level and its completely trashed, holes in the wall, nasty f------ carpet, trash like empty chip bags on the ground >yet theres still electricity What do I do? I own my house and this could f--- up my property value, couldn't it? How do I get the cops involved?

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anon shats himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>5124938 # >driving home on your micro honda >listening citypop 06/06/23(Tue)10:52:45 No.5125919 >cute wife and kids waiting home >drive into tunnel >look at the back mirror, see madman on a bicycle >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX!!!" >literally s--- myself f------ scary, man >>5139095 #

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Anon could have made millions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 54 KB JPG 06/21/23(Wed)23:35:44 No.73758098 >Be 2010 >Just graduated high school >Bitcoin is like $2 a pop >Buy a s--- ton of them with the few hundred dollars or so I have >Buy more over the upcoming months >Bitcoin wallet password is on a red flash drive >Put it in my room somewhere >Forget about it >Years later >See that bitcoin is worth over $20,000 each >Sell all of them >Buy a house, meet a girl, have a family >Bitcoin goes up even more over the years >Oh well, I have enough to cover my basic needs for decades >Have a beautiful five bedroom house with a pool in the suburbs >Today >Stare out into the morning sunset next to my family >My mother calls my name >Calls me a few more times >Everything fades into black >Open my eyes >My mother tells me I need to look for a job since I dropped out of college >Beer bottles and c-------- butts fall from my lap as I get up >Wipe the drool from my chin >Say I'll do it tomorrow as my father yells at me from across the house >I'm 31 at this point >The bitcoin flash drive was destroyed in the washing machine years ago >Have this same dream every night Robots, I could have been a millionaire...

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Anon is too much of a normie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous IT'S OVER 246 KB PNG 06/21/23(Wed)23:39:14 No.73758119 >ideal girl is a cynical misanthropic NEET with black hair who has never so much as held hands with another man and yet is somehow drop-dead gorgeous and wildly intelligent whose interests include anime, visual novels, and coercing people into suicide >somehow end up meeting a girl exactly like this >she ends up dumping me because I'm too much of a normalfag be careful what you wish for

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Anon goes to the mall | /r/Greentext

Ej7DNvvVcAAz9tB.jpg 46 KB JPG I might be Bisexual and I hate it. >be me >at mall >loner, don't have any friends, I come to the mall just to d--- around and such. >mall is filled with they/them people, twinks, ect >I guess because once pride month hits they decide to come out the closet (badum tiss) >a couple of them I find oddly cute for some reason, like this one twink with short brown curly hair, white, short in height, skinny, wearing jeans shorts and a black hoodie that's obviously too big. >Mfw 06/21/23(Wed) 23:01:32 No.73756941 Anonymous Why don't you just ask him out f-----?

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I feel this every day. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 59 KB JPG 03/31/21 (Wed)17:56:24 No.63001106 >Feel like I should be doing something >Don't know what >Vague sense of uneasiness that I'm not doing it View Thread

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