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☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: 7KXnZ81d) Republicucks ▼ Settings Mobile Home 11/24/24(Sun)17:17:53 No.489470595 Tom Cotton Threatens to Invade Holland to Protect Israel's Government From ICC Arrest Warrant Phillip Nieto Nov 21st, 2024, 4:18 pm 796 comments X Post reddit MR. COTTON 242 KB PNG >"America first" >"One of our allies doesn't like our presi--- I mean, Israeli prime minister? We must invade that terrorist state!!!!" I wonder who really is in charge of America at this point.

Anonymous 134 KB JPG 11/22/24(Fri)00:56:49 No.695254250 >character has a gas mask Yup, that's a 10/10 design

Anonymous | 67852442 174.6 KB PNG 5 min. ago ●●● >Go to hospital to discuss septum surgery with my mom and gp >Doctor asks if I have any allergies >No >Mom chimes in >Of course you have allergies anon, why else are there so many tissues in your room >Mom remains clueless He f------ laughed he knew

Anonymous 145 KB PNG >be me 11/23/24(Sat) 08:24:24 No.927754455 >Check up on the reddit normies from time to time >"My 85 year old grandfather can't figure out how to use his oven - LOL PAINT CHIPS" >"A man hit on me at the gym so I s--- myself and barked at him and shaved my eyebrows in self defense" >I've gotten my Harris sign stolen and given death threats 15+ times but there's no video" >" Why are republicans so obsessed with trans?" Trans flag pfp > Every comment that has any kind of criticism has 3,000 qualifying statements so they don't get harassed " I'm a gigantic f----- and sucked 30 d---- in 41 minutes, but I don't think blah blah blah" Are these real f------ people?

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About

Green text Stories are anecdotes written in short, concise sentences that are often shared on the image board 4chan using the site's "green-text" code. Green text stories differ from ">Implying" green text comments, which are used to mock another user’s statement or challenge the validity of their argument.

Origin

Due to 4chan’s lack of a built-in archival system, the original green text story is unknown. Previously archived threads on the now-defunct Chanarchive indicated that green text threads began appearing in early 2010, the earliest of which contained several stories sharing various awkward moments in the /r9k/^[2] (robot9001) board posted on March 3rd, 2010.

thread File :1267653199751 ipg-(49 KB, 374x357, you-gonna-get-r----.jpg) Anonymous 03/03/10(Wed) 16:53: 1 No.7743764 The awkwardest thing that ITT happened today, presented by greentext. Gaze aimlessly on train Prealize you're looking at a hard-gay black man >look away look at him again >he nods arrive at your stop, which is coincidentally his stop miss your stop

Spread

On November 23rd, 2010, FunnyJunk^[7] user DietWater submitted a screenshot of a green text story thread containing disturbing childhood memories (shown below).

□ childhood greentext stories Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:40:30 No.288495 >11 years old >twin brother dies >parents don't let me go to his funeral or tell me where it is stells me it would be inappropriate to be there as it could confuse people □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:41:15 No.2884950X 0 10/10 Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:46:00 No.288496xXx my mom died once □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:47:16 No.288497XXX File1290217636 jpg-(74 KB, 720x540) >go to ymca Sfamily showers >see naked 4 year old grow up to be a p--------

On August 21st, 2011, Redditor Glonn submitted a green text story about an intimate encounter with a disabled girl at summer camp to the /r/4chan subreddit,^[6] garnering upwards of 1,000 up votes and 30 comments prior to being archived (shown below).

/b/-Random How to Take a Screenshot i ← → C O boards·4chan.org/b/res/335695449 Click for JList! Anime Figures Oppai Mousepads TENGA Male Toys TH File 1308618284 ipg-(33 KB, 319x239, 1308034939787.jpg) Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:04:44 No.335695449 Awkward girl Stories are a go lm 15 n bible camp >Girl in a wheelchair, who is actually f------ hot as f---, is sitting in her chair next to the the sports field >l go up to her and ask if she's ok >She says yeah, but obviously she's a bit bored to being able to play ABACUST get a tennis ball and we throw it back and forth >Later on she texts me from her lodgings (girls and boys in separate areas) asking ifI wanna meet at sunset >Meet the chick, she's folded her chair and is sitting on a blanket so she doesnt seem brokern >2 hours later we're kissing, I tear her clothes off and undress, and f--- her >It's really hard to control her legs while im on my knees thrusting, as they are flopping about in my one free hand >Camp leaders come close, I say "F---, run" and run away later realize she was disabled and she was lying there naked when the bible leaders came round Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:05:37 No.335695616 Well s---. HAHAHAHA sS Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:06:13 No.335695718 win 2 Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:07:07 No.335695888

Two days later, the /r/greentext^[4]subreddit was launched, which accumulated more than 5,300 subscribers in the next three years. On September 12th, 2012, Redditor bacon_pants submitted a green text story about a man wearing a musketeer costume to the /r/4chan^[5] subreddit, which received over 9,200 up votes and 110 comments prior to being archived (shown below).

El Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:34 No. 140589 10E) >Walking home from party late one evening >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood >Oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >Still in talking phase >Lights fick on in the house >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver! >Guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard! >All three of them draw rapiers on their belts >Guys run >"1 know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house. □ SothlknPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)01:36 No.14058930曰 F------ EPIC Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:41 No. 140589829 214058910 THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS

On February 20th, 2013, a Facebook^[3] page titled "Green Text Stories" was launched, gaining upwards of 2,200 likes in one year. On April 9th, BuzzFeed^[9] published a list titled "The Greatest Things That Have Ever Happened on 4chan," which highlighted several notable green text stories. On April 16th, Redditor Archduke Caligula submitted a Shrek-themed green text story to the /r/FiftyFifty^[8] subreddit, accumulating more than 2,300 up votes and 110 comments prior to being archived (shown below).

ile: 1358148753159.ipg-(105 KB, 300x300, 300.shrek.forever.lr.121809.jpg) Anonymous (ID: CBcH+zLI) 01/14/13 (Mon)02:32:33 No.450921803 Replies: 24509 >I was only 9 years old > I loved shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies > I pray to shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given > "Shrek is love" say. "Shrek is life" > My dad hears me and he calls me a f----- > I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek > I called him a c--- > He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep Im crying now, and my face hurts > I lay in bed and its really cold >A warmth i > I feel something touch me > Its shrek > I am so happy > He whispers in to ear, "this is my swamp > He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees s moving towards me > I'm ready > I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek > He penetrates my butthole > It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek > I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water > I push against his force I want to please Shrek > He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love > My dad walks in > Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says. "Its all ogre now" > Shrek leaves through my window > Shrek is love, Shrek is life Anonymous (ID: fBWBqNjg) 01/14/13(Mon)02:33:51 No.450922048 what the f---

Notable Examples

Spaghetti Stories

Spaghetti Stories are a type of bait-and-switch copypasta posted on 4chan to "troll" others under the pretext of recounting a socially awkward or humiliating situation in greentext. While the plot may vary from one to another, each story ends when spaghetti suddenly falls out of one’s pocket or fanny pack.

Anonymous 12/16/10(Thu)23:01 No.81472309 File :1292558479581png-(133 KB, 354x363, 1226621833105gil.png.ban.png) >> >in english 9 class >get called on to read out loud >stutter through the whole thing >classmates are audibly giggling >stand up to run out of the room in shame >peanut butter spaghetti falls out of my pocket >class bursts into laughter man run to front of classroom open the door >get on the floor >everybody walk the dinosaur >get in trouble for walking dinosaur in school detention >get home from detention >father says I am a disgrace to my family run to room crying mom comes in > "Sergio, I made your favorite cookies" >she wants to f---

Fucking Gamestop

Fucking Gamestop is a type of greentext story posted on 4chan containing fake experiences with the American video game and entertainment software retailer Gamestop, ending with the expression “Fucking Gamestop."

Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)11:24:11 No.647210 >penis inspection day >fourth grade nurse won't stop fondling me tells me that she's "always wanted to do it with a bear" 기 look down >im a bear nurse is fondling my bear penis >suddenly nurse is also a bear we have bear sex noises cause everyone in the hall to burst into treats principal comes in, breaks us apart with the force of the spaghetti coming out of his pockets >i grab my cape and fedora and gtfo, careful to not slip in the principal's marinara sauce F------ Gamestop.

Burst Into Treats

Burst Into Treats is a bait-and-switch copypasta commonly used on 4chan imageboards to conclude a seemingly believable greentext story about a personal experience involving embarrassing or emotionally moving moments, with a person exploding into "treats" at the end of each story.

Anonymous 07/20/10(Tue)04:08:1 No.10187641 >Halloween >Got no candy because so many pedos >My mom bursts into treats >just for me thanks mom >Best candy ever

Mom's Spaghetti

Mom's Spaghetti is a bait-and-switch copypasta derived from the lyrics of Eminem’s 2002 hit rap single “Lose Yourself.” Originating from the 4chan imageboard community, it is a notable example of spaghetti stories that usually start out as a personal anecdote about an embarrassing or socially awkward episode before ending abruptly with a sudden appearance of spaghetti.

Anonymous 04/19/12(Thu)18:36 No.12169872 File: 1334874960 jpg-(6 KB, 154x132, 1328423311634.jpg) >be in school hot girl in front of me >she drops her pencil >she bends down to pick it up >she's not wearing panties turns around and looks at me like what you see?" whole class goes "000000oooh palms are sweaty >knees weak, arms are heavy it's falling out of my pockets already >mom's spaghetti

It Was My Privilege

"It Was My Privilege" is a sarcastic expression used as the punchline in greentext stories wherein gentlemanly courtesy is misunderstood as male patronage, thus mocking the feminist concept of the male-dominated social system known as the “patriarchy."

目File: 1357728781 (5 KB, 198x254, connery jpg) GI 器 _ Anonymous (ID: ⑩70Nzki) 01/09/13(Wed)05:53 01 UTC-5 No 449711286 Reply] Replies: 2244971 1463 >:449711642 >Go on a date with girl >Take her to nice restaurant >She orders a shrimp cocktail and several drinks >Ask for the check >The waiter places the check in front of me, not in front of her, not in the middle of the table >Look of horror comes across the girl's face reach for the check and place my credit card inside >She begins to tremble >Tears well up in her eyes >l can tell she is paralyzed by fear at the oppression she is experiencing >l chauvinistically place the check with the my credit card on the table in front of me, daring her to do something about it The power of my oppression of this woman surges through my body as I lean back in my seat and stare directly at her >She is shaking with fright, the oppression strangling her voice away >The waiter returns to take the check away >All is lost to her now >Men at other tables begin to stand up and clap >Women all over the restaurant begin to shriek and cry >l feel my erect penis lift the tablecloth in front of me >l ask my date, "Did you enjoy your dinner?" >Y-yes... thank you", she says behind a mask of tears I lean forward, a devious, patriarchical smile spreading across my face >And I tell her, "It was my privilege."

AI-Generated Greentexts

AI-Generated Greentexts are greentext stories that are generated by the GPT-3 language model or other AI software rather than written by humans. First popularized by Tumblr's frogpostbot, using bots to create greentexts became a viral trend in June 2022, with users employing OpenAI's GPT-3 language model to generate greentexts.

write me a 4chan greentext >wake up >my hair is dry >fuckno.png >take a shower >get out >hair is still dry >w--.png >put on a hat >go outside >see a guy with a dry head >he's bald >bald.png >realize I'm bald >bald.png >cry myself to sleep

write me a 4chan greentext >watching tv, some dude has a machine >that can teleport people >says he wants to go to the moon >asks if anyone wants to go with him >i say "sure, why not" >we step into the machine >next thing i know, we're on the moon >dude says "see, it's not so bad here" >i look around and see that the moon is a barren wasteland >dude teleports back to earth, leaving me stranded on the moon

write me a 4chan greentext >be me >bottomless pit supervisor >in charge of making sure the bottomless pit is, in fact, bottomless >occasionally have to go down there and check if the bottomless pit is still bottomless >one day i go down there and the bottomless pit is no longer bottomless >the bottom of the bottomless pit is now just a regular pit >distress.jpg >ask my boss what to do >he says "just make it bottomless again" >i say "how" >he says "i don't know, you're the supervisor" >rage.jpg >quit my job >become a regular pit supervisor >first day on the job, go to the new hole >its bottomless

Search Interest

External References

^[1] Oh Internet (via Wayback Machine) – Greentext Article

^[2] Wayback Machine – Awkward Thing That’s Happened Today Presented By Greentext

^[3] Facebook – Green Text Stories

^[4] Reddit – /r/greentext

^[5] Reddit – Musketeer greentext

^[6] Reddit – Greentext stories

^[7] FunnyJunk – 2 Hilarious 4chan posts in one

^[8] Reddit – Shrek Greentext

^[9] BuzzFeed – The Greatest Things That Have Ever Happened on 4chan

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Greentext Stories

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