Greentext Stories

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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About

Green text Stories are anecdotes written in short, concise sentences that are often shared on the image board 4chan using the site's "green-text" code. Green text stories differ from ">Implying" green text comments, which are used to mock another user’s statement or challenge the validity of their argument.

Origin

Due to 4chan’s lack of a built-in archival system, the original green text story is unknown. Previously archived threads on the now-defunct Chanarchive indicated that green text threads began appearing in early 2010, the earliest of which contained several stories sharing various awkward moments in the /r9k/^[2] (robot9001) board posted on March 3rd, 2010.

thread File :1267653199751 ipg-(49 KB, 374x357, you-gonna-get-r----.jpg) Anonymous 03/03/10(Wed) 16:53: 1 No.7743764 The awkwardest thing that ITT happened today, presented by greentext. Gaze aimlessly on train Prealize you're looking at a hard-gay black man >look away look at him again >he nods arrive at your stop, which is coincidentally his stop miss your stop

Spread

On November 23rd, 2010, FunnyJunk^[7] user DietWater submitted a screenshot of a green text story thread containing disturbing childhood memories (shown below).

□ childhood greentext stories Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:40:30 No.288495 >11 years old >twin brother dies >parents don't let me go to his funeral or tell me where it is stells me it would be inappropriate to be there as it could confuse people □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:41:15 No.2884950X 0 10/10 Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:46:00 No.288496xXx my mom died once □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:47:16 No.288497XXX File1290217636 jpg-(74 KB, 720x540) >go to ymca Sfamily showers >see naked 4 year old grow up to be a p--------

On August 21st, 2011, Redditor Glonn submitted a green text story about an intimate encounter with a disabled girl at summer camp to the /r/4chan subreddit,^[6] garnering upwards of 1,000 up votes and 30 comments prior to being archived (shown below).

/b/-Random How to Take a Screenshot i ← → C O boards·4chan.org/b/res/335695449 Click for JList! Anime Figures Oppai Mousepads TENGA Male Toys TH File 1308618284 ipg-(33 KB, 319x239, 1308034939787.jpg) Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:04:44 No.335695449 Awkward girl Stories are a go lm 15 n bible camp >Girl in a wheelchair, who is actually f------ hot as f---, is sitting in her chair next to the the sports field >l go up to her and ask if she's ok >She says yeah, but obviously she's a bit bored to being able to play ABACUST get a tennis ball and we throw it back and forth >Later on she texts me from her lodgings (girls and boys in separate areas) asking ifI wanna meet at sunset >Meet the chick, she's folded her chair and is sitting on a blanket so she doesnt seem brokern >2 hours later we're kissing, I tear her clothes off and undress, and f--- her >It's really hard to control her legs while im on my knees thrusting, as they are flopping about in my one free hand >Camp leaders come close, I say "F---, run" and run away later realize she was disabled and she was lying there naked when the bible leaders came round Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:05:37 No.335695616 Well s---. HAHAHAHA sS Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:06:13 No.335695718 win 2 Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:07:07 No.335695888

Two days later, the /r/greentext^[4]subreddit was launched, which accumulated more than 5,300 subscribers in the next three years. On September 12th, 2012, Redditor bacon_pants submitted a green text story about a man wearing a musketeer costume to the /r/4chan^[5] subreddit, which received over 9,200 up votes and 110 comments prior to being archived (shown below).

El Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:34 No. 140589 10E) >Walking home from party late one evening >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood >Oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >Still in talking phase >Lights fick on in the house >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver! >Guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard! >All three of them draw rapiers on their belts >Guys run >"1 know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house. □ SothlknPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)01:36 No.14058930曰 F------ EPIC Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:41 No. 140589829 214058910 THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS

On February 20th, 2013, a Facebook^[3] page titled "Green Text Stories" was launched, gaining upwards of 2,200 likes in one year. On April 9th, BuzzFeed^[9] published a list titled "The Greatest Things That Have Ever Happened on 4chan," which highlighted several notable green text stories. On April 16th, Redditor Archduke Caligula submitted a Shrek-themed green text story to the /r/FiftyFifty^[8] subreddit, accumulating more than 2,300 up votes and 110 comments prior to being archived (shown below).

ile: 1358148753159.ipg-(105 KB, 300x300, 300.shrek.forever.lr.121809.jpg) Anonymous (ID: CBcH+zLI) 01/14/13 (Mon)02:32:33 No.450921803 Replies: 24509 >I was only 9 years old > I loved shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies > I pray to shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given > "Shrek is love" say. "Shrek is life" > My dad hears me and he calls me a f----- > I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek > I called him a c--- > He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep Im crying now, and my face hurts > I lay in bed and its really cold >A warmth i > I feel something touch me > Its shrek > I am so happy > He whispers in to ear, "this is my swamp > He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees s moving towards me > I'm ready > I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek > He penetrates my butthole > It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek > I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water > I push against his force I want to please Shrek > He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love > My dad walks in > Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says. "Its all ogre now" > Shrek leaves through my window > Shrek is love, Shrek is life Anonymous (ID: fBWBqNjg) 01/14/13(Mon)02:33:51 No.450922048 what the f---

Notable Examples

Spaghetti Stories

Spaghetti Stories are a type of bait-and-switch copypasta posted on 4chan to "troll" others under the pretext of recounting a socially awkward or humiliating situation in greentext. While the plot may vary from one to another, each story ends when spaghetti suddenly falls out of one’s pocket or fanny pack.

Anonymous 12/16/10(Thu)23:01 No.81472309 File :1292558479581png-(133 KB, 354x363, 1226621833105gil.png.ban.png) >> >in english 9 class >get called on to read out loud >stutter through the whole thing >classmates are audibly giggling >stand up to run out of the room in shame >peanut butter spaghetti falls out of my pocket >class bursts into laughter man run to front of classroom open the door >get on the floor >everybody walk the dinosaur >get in trouble for walking dinosaur in school detention >get home from detention >father says I am a disgrace to my family run to room crying mom comes in > "Sergio, I made your favorite cookies" >she wants to f---

Fucking Gamestop

Fucking Gamestop is a type of greentext story posted on 4chan containing fake experiences with the American video game and entertainment software retailer Gamestop, ending with the expression “Fucking Gamestop."

Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)11:24:11 No.647210 >penis inspection day >fourth grade nurse won't stop fondling me tells me that she's "always wanted to do it with a bear" 기 look down >im a bear nurse is fondling my bear penis >suddenly nurse is also a bear we have bear sex noises cause everyone in the hall to burst into treats principal comes in, breaks us apart with the force of the spaghetti coming out of his pockets >i grab my cape and fedora and gtfo, careful to not slip in the principal's marinara sauce F------ Gamestop.

Burst Into Treats

Burst Into Treats is a bait-and-switch copypasta commonly used on 4chan imageboards to conclude a seemingly believable greentext story about a personal experience involving embarrassing or emotionally moving moments, with a person exploding into "treats" at the end of each story.

Anonymous 07/20/10(Tue)04:08:1 No.10187641 >Halloween >Got no candy because so many pedos >My mom bursts into treats >just for me thanks mom >Best candy ever

Mom's Spaghetti

Mom's Spaghetti is a bait-and-switch copypasta derived from the lyrics of Eminem’s 2002 hit rap single “Lose Yourself.” Originating from the 4chan imageboard community, it is a notable example of spaghetti stories that usually start out as a personal anecdote about an embarrassing or socially awkward episode before ending abruptly with a sudden appearance of spaghetti.

Anonymous 04/19/12(Thu)18:36 No.12169872 File: 1334874960 jpg-(6 KB, 154x132, 1328423311634.jpg) >be in school hot girl in front of me >she drops her pencil >she bends down to pick it up >she's not wearing panties turns around and looks at me like what you see?" whole class goes "000000oooh palms are sweaty >knees weak, arms are heavy it's falling out of my pockets already >mom's spaghetti

It Was My Privilege

"It Was My Privilege" is a sarcastic expression used as the punchline in greentext stories wherein gentlemanly courtesy is misunderstood as male patronage, thus mocking the feminist concept of the male-dominated social system known as the “patriarchy."

目File: 1357728781 (5 KB, 198x254, connery jpg) GI 器 _ Anonymous (ID: ⑩70Nzki) 01/09/13(Wed)05:53 01 UTC-5 No 449711286 Reply] Replies: 2244971 1463 >:449711642 >Go on a date with girl >Take her to nice restaurant >She orders a shrimp cocktail and several drinks >Ask for the check >The waiter places the check in front of me, not in front of her, not in the middle of the table >Look of horror comes across the girl's face reach for the check and place my credit card inside >She begins to tremble >Tears well up in her eyes >l can tell she is paralyzed by fear at the oppression she is experiencing >l chauvinistically place the check with the my credit card on the table in front of me, daring her to do something about it The power of my oppression of this woman surges through my body as I lean back in my seat and stare directly at her >She is shaking with fright, the oppression strangling her voice away >The waiter returns to take the check away >All is lost to her now >Men at other tables begin to stand up and clap >Women all over the restaurant begin to shriek and cry >l feel my erect penis lift the tablecloth in front of me >l ask my date, "Did you enjoy your dinner?" >Y-yes... thank you", she says behind a mask of tears I lean forward, a devious, patriarchical smile spreading across my face >And I tell her, "It was my privilege."

AI-Generated Greentexts

AI-Generated Greentexts are greentext stories that are generated by the GPT-3 language model or other AI software rather than written by humans. First popularized by Tumblr's frogpostbot, using bots to create greentexts became a viral trend in June 2022, with users employing OpenAI's GPT-3 language model to generate greentexts.