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Board /bant/ - International/Random Anonymous (ID: 011C+GYJ) Settings Mobile Home 05/27/24(Mon)18:56:11 No.20393406 Tim Hortons Experience >Be me, Suburban britbroke >Early 2022 >Driving home from work 530 KB PNG >Driving past the fast food park >See that the old Pizza hut as been converted into a tim hortons >Finally Some GoodFuckingFood.mpeg >I had a hankering for fast food on my way home due to work food being s--- >Burger King too expensive and slow, McDonalds is usually my first choice but old. >Pull into the retail park >McDonalds drive through is completely full >Don't like waiting, I must feast now >Pull into Tim Hortons drive through >Menu is just like Mcdonalds but leaf >Indian voice at the kiosk takes my order >First red flag, but whatever >Drive all the way around the back of the place to pay and collect my order >Wait at the window >Nothing but jeets working >Red flags turn to brown, but I think they have courtesy given the scale of their operation >Pay for my order, 70p less than mcdonalds >Tripple Cheese burger, 3 tendies, lattice fries and a diet coke due to being fat >Pull into car park and begrudgingly eat grislily cheese burger, soggy tendies and soggy lattice fries >This is worse than home cooking >How did they f--- up fries when they have a deep fryer? >Whatever. III eat it anyway because paid for it >FFW the evening >Need to take a s--- >Normal enough for me >Spread my ass cheeks on toilet seat >S--- is liquid enough to go through the eye of a needle >Im like that upside down fountain in las vegas >Spraying like a f------ geyser >Smells like the sewage plant I drive past every day >Trying to limit the flow only made it come out in pulses >Sound like im trying to piss out a kidney stone with full force >Finally its over >Look inside >Orange diareah caked the inside of the bowl, my ass cheeks and bolloks. >Was the inside of the toilet with my shower hose >Take a late night shower while contemplating my life choices Is this what Canadians go through Every day?

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Anon has one more thing to ask | /r/Greentext

columbo-main-NEW.jpg, 46KiB, 678x381 Anonymous Mon 14 Mar 2022 06:49:18 No.235280986 Quoted By: >>235281416 >>235281609 >>235281651 >>235281692 >>235281975 >>235283059 >>235283237 >>235283618 >>235283701 >>235283866 >>235286062 >>235287307 >>235287325 >>235288177 >>235292555 >>235292708 >Ah, jus' one more thing, Mr. Yagami, sir. It's nothin' important, jus' somethin' I'm a little curious about is all. Do you like apples, sir? I only ask cus my wife, she's a bit of a fruit nut these days. Likes to keep on top of her health an' all that. See, she's always buyin' apples, drives me nuts. She'll fill the bowl with apples, eat two a day and it's all gone in a week! I guess you're the same way, since I noticed the fruit bowl in your house was full o' apples when I visited yesterday, but when I came back this mornin' they were all gone! Now, I don't mean to pry into yer dietary habits, but uh, that's a lotta doctors yer keeping away, huh?

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Gunn anon feels lied to | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Warner Bros. Unwilling To Give James Gunn Full Control of DC, Report Says Posted on October 14, 2023 by James Brizuela 05/27/24(Mon) 13:07:51 No. 143822678 >I have full creative control! Why did he lie? 563 KB JPG Anonymous 05/27/24(Mon) 13:09:14 No.143822688 Gunnanon bored on a day off from school, huh? Where do you want this thread to go? What do you want to hear? Anonymous >>143822678 (OP) # 05/27/24(Mon) 13:09:35 No. 143822695 I don't think any director should be given 100% control over a billion dollar multi picture franchise. Sometimes you just gotta say no, and limitations can also breed innovation under the right circumstances. Few people said no to Snyder, and look what snowballed >>143824387 #

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The j00s ruined inbreeding | /r/Greentext

R: 2/11 ▸ why did cousin f------ become taboo? was it (((their))) doing?

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Anon's not having a good time | /r/Greentext

File: image processing 20240307-(...).png (845 KB, 1080x1080) 2000$ >give up and go back to bed >dream about being outplayed by bots >mfw bots are better than me CounterBot Anonymous 05/27/24(Mon) 19:30:33 No.677766657 >be me >playing Counter-Strike at 3 AM >decide to practice with bots >set difficulty to easy because I'm a wimp >start the game, feeling confident >bot rushes me with a knife, insta-kills me >wat.png >respawn, ready to take on the bots again >bot headshots me through a wall >rage intensifies >decide to go full try-hard mode >get killed by a bot using a pistol from across the map >mfw I'm losing to easy bots >finally manage to kill one bot >victory dance.jpg >another bot snipes me while I'm dancing

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Anon balls the fuck out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 395 KB JPG student 05/27/24(Mon)03:13:02 No.77633119 >Be me >25 years old with a dead end job >Where did it all go wrong? >Reminiscence about highschool >If only I could have a do over >Hurricane Harvey strikes >lightbulb.jpeg >Decide to enroll as a high school >Pretend to be a 17-year-old >Claim I am a hurricane Harvey evacuee >This galaxy brain plan somehow f------ works >Play basketball for the school team >I completely BTFO these kiddies >Absolutely crushing it. >Scoring 50 points a game >Snatching ankles left and right >Everyone thinks Im the next Lebron >The whole school worships me >I even manage to score the head cheerleader as a gf in the process >Life is perfect. I may even try to become prom king. >Until suddenly a coach gets suspicious after | BTFO his team >uncovers that I am actually a 25 year old man >oopsie >entire plan falls apart >perp walk of shame in front of everyone at school Moral of the story anons? Grow up. Age gracefully and accept adulthood. Let go of the past.

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Anon knows something we dont know | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 39 KB JPG Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)19:12:08 No.32540993 i just masturbated using my ear and now my ear hurts did i f--- up? is there no going back from this? and also does this make me a degenerate? >>32540993 (OP) # 08/27/23(Sun)19:13:15 No.32541008 How >>32541048 # : Anonymous >>32540993 (OP) # 08/27/23(Sun)19:13:21 No.32541011 Please explain in detail how you masturbated using your ear, thanks. >>32541048 #

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Anon is 'fused | /r/Greentext

Fans of the game quickly reacted to the reveal on August 3rd, 2022, to express their surprise at the new gym leader's gender, many having mistaken him for a girl after the "Pokémon Presents" stream. Reactions to the character's gender varied in tone and surprise, such as a 4chan thread [3] that same day where the anon expressed his horror at having been attracted to a fictional male character (seen below). File: she is female.jpg (743 KB, 2880x1800) h Anonymous 08/03/22(Wed)09:56:07 No.51098963 ►>>51099054 >>51099063 >>51099118 >>51099142 >>51099175 >>51099192 >>51099208 >>51099226 >>51099282 >>51099719 >>51099851 >>51099896 >>61100410 >>51100697 >>51101573 >>51102917 >>51103095 >>51103307 >>51103332 >>51103427 >>51103546 >>51104323 >>51104439>>51104463>>51104500 >>51104540 >>51104594 >>51104855 >>51106360 >>51106425 >>51106494>>51106855 >>51106936>>51107140>>51107411 >>51107451 >>61107489 >>51107511 >>51107591 >>51108053 >>51108784 >>51100651 >>51110355 >>51110420 >>51110452 >>51110477 >>51111217 >>51111565 >>51112065-51112079511133295111357151113713 >>51113975 >>51114155 >>51114818 >>51114853 >>51114949 >>51116938 Grusha SHE IS NOT A GUY YOU CAN NOT CONVINCE ME THIS IS A GUY. ITS A HER. ITS A SHE. I ALREADY CAME TO HER TWICE SHE CAN'T BE A GUY. IM NOT GAY THIS IS A GIRL A GROWN WOMAN EVEN REPEAT AFTER ME GIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRL GIRLGIRLGIRL GIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGI RLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRL GIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRL GIRLGIRLGIRL GIRLGIRL GIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGI RLGIRLGIRLGIRL Anonymous 08/03/22(Wed) 09:58:02 No.51099054 ►>>51107549 >>51098963 (OP) Actually, he does look more masculine with the angry eyebrows. It's the f------ eyelashes that's throwing everyone off. Anonymous 08/03/22(Wed)09:58:17 No.51099063 ► >>51098963 (OP) LOL BROOOOOO THAT IS 100% A GIRL THEY CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS

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Anon is scared of girls | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I cannot fool myself anymore 80 KB JPG >get a hairsystem 05/25/24(Sat) 18:37:43 No.77615253 >"well i cant date because of the pandemic, guess i have to wait" >pandemic ends >"nah i cant approach girls, i have to get in shape first" >get in shape >"i am balding, i cant appraoch girls like this" >"I need to dress better, then i can approach girls for sure" >start dressing better >"i dont have any money, i need a better paying job first" >find a high paying job >running out of excuses >regularly notice girls checking me out >still not approaching girls The realization that my own ineptitude is the only thing thats stopping me from getting a gf now hit me like a f------ freight train. Its been 2 weeks and i am still trying to deny it because i dont want to face the fact that i am scared of women

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Anon's growing up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous they say that my muilubetes mais boring, then have to show them masenem itpihyve never seen belum 1.34 MB PNG 02/28/24(Wed)01:00:36 No.76603561 >be me, 13 years old >imagine yourself being able to freeze the time in order to rob candies at grocery store >ffw, in college >imagine yourself being able to freeze the time in order to grope girl's breasts and r--- them whats wrong with me? 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon's questioning of science takes us on a wild ride of doubt and humor. Strap in for the adventure | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/07/23(Sat) 19:16:47 No. 15793560 I SCIENCE IMG_7321.png 118 KB PNG Why doesn't water burn? It's composed of hydrogen and oxygen. Oxygen is required for combustion, and hydrogen is extremely flammable. There is no reason water shouldn't burn. >But uhhm you see water is like ash.. >it's like already burnt, but it was never burnt, uhm like >Like the uhmmm oxygen atoms are like already bonded uhm >STOP QUESTIONING SCIENCE AND BELIEVE IT LIKE A GOOD GOY They can't keep getting away with it.

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I think anon is too honest | /r/Greentext

1637567877195.png 2.02 MB PNG New Dragonball game. Thoughts? Anonymous name? 11/22/21(Mon)10:01:13 No.578970020 >>578970065 # >>578970115 # Anonymous >>578970020 # What mine? Tony. 11/22/21(Mon)10:01:50 No.578970065

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Old School Degeneracy | /r/Greentext

>[ 01/24/08(Thu 23:35:22 No.51907770 Last summer after i was finished administering a good hot dicking to my girlfriend (in b4 i don't think you have etc.) I go to to the bathroom to clean up like i always do. And this time a had to take a s--- so I'm about to throw the condom into the toilet to get rid of it when an idea comes to me. I put four fingers into the open end of the condom and stretch it out and hold it up to my a------ and s--- into the condom. A perfect smooth finely tapered poop. It slides all the way down into the bottom of the condom. Coming to rest in the pool of e--------, and displacing some if it so that it flows up the sides of the turd. Perfect. It fits like a banana in it's skin. Then i look at my creation, wondering if anything could possibly be more awesome. Then i clip my toenails and drop them in there for good measure. I take the whole thing, hold the opening over the faucet and start filling it with warm water. I'm thinking of all the awesome things i could do with my newly acquired disease balloon. Running all the different scenarios through my head. Trying to select the single most awesome one. "This is going to be epic." I tell myself. I take it off the tap, it's about the size of a volleyball now. I go to tie it at the end, and I have the bit stretched around my fingers, ready to put the tip through the loop and complete the knot, when m----------- slips out of grip because the freshly unrolled end was still lubricated. It starts spewing it's payload before it even hits the floor. >> [ 01/24/08(Thu)23:36:09 No-51907834 It lands on my foot, bounces a little and empties itself all over my white socks. My girlfriend, who is still in the bedroom it's startled to hear a loud "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCK" emanating from the bathroom. She then opens the door to check on me and is greeted by the sight of her boyfriend standing in a puddle of s--- stew with a limp condom at his feet. The just stares for a moment. Dumbfounded. Like she can't believe what's happing. Or she doesn't want to believe. There poo and c-- and toenails on the floor. On the walls, the mirror, on me. While her brain tries to make sense of the scene in front of her, I slam the door in her face, which seems to snap her out of the daze. "What the f---?! What the f--- did you do?!" she screams, like she's about to cry. I feel regret. Not for what I did, but for what I could have done. It smells now. I dry off with her towel then drop it on the floor, covering what part of the mess i can. I put on my cool face and exit the bathroom, gently shutting the door behind me. My girlfriend eyes me. I know she's waiting for an explanation. But i don't think she could handle it. So i walk past her without saying anything. I put on my coat and tell her "It's getting kind of late. I'm gonna head home." She just stares at me with that dumb look on her face. I drop my poo socks in her mailbox and walk home. That was the last time i would hear from her. But i had something better now. A dream. I would make another.

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Greentext Stories - Always Fresh | /r/Greentext

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Board /bant/ - International/Random Anonymous (ID: 011C+GYJ) Settings Mobile Home 05/27/24(Mon)18:56:11 No.20393406 Tim Hortons Experience >Be me, Suburban britbroke >Early 2022 >Driving home from work 530 KB PNG >Driving past the fast food park >See that the old Pizza hut as been converted into a tim hortons >Finally Some GoodFuckingFood.mpeg >I had a hankering for fast food on my way home due to work food being s--- >Burger King too expensive and slow, McDonalds is usually my first choice but old. >Pull into the retail park >McDonalds drive through is completely full >Don't like waiting, I must feast now >Pull into Tim Hortons drive through >Menu is just like Mcdonalds but leaf >Indian voice at the kiosk takes my order >First red flag, but whatever >Drive all the way around the back of the place to pay and collect my order >Wait at the window >Nothing but jeets working >Red flags turn to brown, but I think they have courtesy given the scale of their operation >Pay for my order, 70p less than mcdonalds >Tripple Cheese burger, 3 tendies, lattice fries and a diet coke due to being fat >Pull into car park and begrudgingly eat grislily cheese burger, soggy tendies and soggy lattice fries >This is worse than home cooking >How did they f--- up fries when they have a deep fryer? >Whatever. III eat it anyway because paid for it >FFW the evening >Need to take a s--- >Normal enough for me >Spread my ass cheeks on toilet seat >S--- is liquid enough to go through the eye of a needle >Im like that upside down fountain in las vegas >Spraying like a f------ geyser >Smells like the sewage plant I drive past every day >Trying to limit the flow only made it come out in pulses >Sound like im trying to piss out a kidney stone with full force >Finally its over >Look inside >Orange diareah caked the inside of the bowl, my ass cheeks and bolloks. >Was the inside of the toilet with my shower hose >Take a late night shower while contemplating my life choices Is this what Canadians go through Every day?

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