Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 122 KB JPG 03/26/22(Sat) 19:16:05 No.67947955 reason at all >Be extremely depressed >Make up delusions of grandeur and superiority >Start unironically believing said delusions >Stop being depressed and feel like a literal god for no It's this easy, you can change so much in a moment, reality is merely an illusion you can bend to your will and so is your personality. 8 Replies 1 Image Anonymous View Thread 03/26/22(Sat) 19:24:26 No.67948051 >>67947955 (OP) # you're legitimately describing manic depression Imfao

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Least obvious globohomo psyop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Get rainbowpilled 7 KB PNG every night >Be me 04/02/24(Tue)14:03:52 No.30994973 >110% gay >Have boyfriend >Don't have to blow all my money on him >Don't have to go to extraordinary lengths to prove my love for him everyday just to keep him around >He actually likes sex and it's great >Can explore kinks and fetishes freely >Actually do fun s--- together like airsoft and offroading instead of watching gay romcoms, and we listen to good music and watch good movies >He can take a joke >Don't have to worry about r--- accusations and having all my stuff taken >No risk of having kids Why haven't you taken the rainbowpill anons? You have literally nothing to lose and everything to gain. Make the switch, it's worth it!

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Anon declares war on Women | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 20240402-222022.png (410 KB, 720x548) THE PERFECT SMALL DILDO Sex Toy Review - Peepshow Exclusive Blush Neo Elite Tapered 6 Inch Dual Density Silicon... Tawney Soren 33 views - 5 days ago ☐ Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)22:23:29 No. 19939042 >>19939043 >>19939044 >>19 >>19939076 >>19939077 >>19939079 >>19939086 >>19939088 >>19939096 >>19939108 >>19939109 >> >small dildo >6 inch i declare war Anonymous ? 04/02/24(Tue)22:25:48 No.19939043 >>19939055 >>19939059 >>19939042 (OP) I'd be mad too if the dildo was 1 inch bigger than my Irish microcock Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)22:26:09 No. 19939044 >>19939042 (OP) >be woman >make video about putting foreign object in your vagina >upload it to YouTube >>19939048 >>19939072

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Czech Mate | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous 27 KB PNG >one chance >born in Eastern Europe Anonymous >>76987449 (OP) kind of sexy if you ask me ▼Settings Mobile Home 04/02/24(Tue)01:59:07 No.76987449 04/02/24(Tue)02:00:02 No.76987452

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The Taxman Can | /r/Greentext

Board /tv/ - Television & Film Anonymous The Candy Man Can ▼ Settings Mobile Home 04/02/24(Tue)18:06:08 No. 197879933 825 KB PNG >Gives free candy to a s--- tone of kids. >Poorest kid in town comes in. >Charges him. w-- is his problem?

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Anon lives with his mother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)23:10:32 No.916293840 I'm laying in bed while my mom is doing the dishes and cooking delicious chicken wings for dinner. Why don't you live at home with your mom? 73 KB JPG 17 Replies 7 Images Anonymous >>916293840 (OP) # View Thread 04/02/24(Tue)23:49:17 No.916295472 Because I trooned out and now live with my "daddy" Anonymous get a job, p------------ >>916295545 # 04/02/24(Tue)23:50:20 No.916295527 Anonymous >>916295527 # f--- you 04/02/24(Tue)23:50:41 No.916295545

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Anon hires a prostitute | /r/Greentext

File: avatars-000640643481-lba(...).jpg (38 KB, 500x500) Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)23:34:50 No.847224229 [Reply] >>847224511 >>847225079 >Be me >26 yo degenerate >Seek out a s------ prostitute's ad online >BBC as thick as my wrist >Contact her and tell her I'd like to come see her >She is available >Ask her if she is ok with me being first timer with a special type of lady >She says she is good with beginners >Tell her that I've never actually been penetrated so I'm a virgin back there >She assures me that she will be very gentle >Ask her if it would be ok to meet with her friend, BWC >She confirms that her friend is also available but the price will be double >Ask her if they both could do me at the same time >She tells me that it is possible >Ask her if it would be possible that they switch places while going at me >She tells that if I want them to with a smilie >ask her if they'd be ok with bareback >she says yes >ask her to confirm everything we discussed and to just take a lead when I arrive >She assures me I will be taken good care of when I'm there >Text her that I checked my bank account and that I don't have any money She has been calling and sending text messages for the past 30 minutes.

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Anon likes April fools | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Me when April 1 29 KB JPG >fuckyea.jpg 04/02/24(Tue)11:01:28 No.916285656 >be me >Junior in college >couple weeks ago, roommate comes back from visiting her mom >anon my mom gave me all this alcohol that I don't like >Literally like 3 cases of beer and some handles of Tito's >fast forward to yesterday, April 1 >One handle empty, one full >First one back from classes >devious thoughts occur >take full Tito's from fridge and hide it >Fill up empty one with water, put it in fridge >Roommate gets back >start acting up about the vodka being bad >have her smell it and convince her to take a shot >after she stares at me with full disappointment Ha ha got her ass April fools Gonna have people over this weekend and can't wait to do the same thing

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anon has a billion-dollar idea | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)21:59:0 >strip nekkid >duct tape machete to dominant hand >Take 100+ mg of pcp and LSD >step into urban area >????? >PROFIT

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I would not blame him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 KB JPG 04/02/24(Tue)18:15:47 No.76989024 >wife is 20 weeks pregnant with second child >genetic testing had come back saying no high risk of anything >wife gets ultrasound yesterday >everything is mainly fine but doctor says the back of the neck is just on the cusp of being big enough to be a sign of Down Syndrome >doctor says not to worry >been having a full-blown anxiety attack since then Is it wrong to plan to kill myself if the baby ends up with Downs? I can't live that life. I won't spend the next 50ish years being miserable but having to pretend I'm happy taking care of an adult with the mental capacity of a three year old.

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Anon gives thanks to the neuroatypical community | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)07:15:19 No.99795275 shut up mom ssh is 500 ms slower than normal. MUST INVESTIGATE! the west must be saved son, are you still benchmarking postgresql? You can't just keep doing that all day. millions of computers must be safe 1.11 MB PNG imagine being the chink glowies who spent years working on a sophisticated social engineering plan to take over one of the most important and widely used open source projects in the world to execute potentially one of the worst cyberattacks in history, just to be stopped by some autistic dude who sperged out about ssh taking 0.7 seconds instead of 0.2 seconds. Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)07:17:28 No.99795296 I'd like to give my heartfelt thanks to all the autists of the world. We would be living in darker times without you. Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)07:18:54 No.99795310 I still can't believe someone could be this much of a sperg. god bless his autistic heart.

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Anons wonder why Dune 2 did not make a gorillion dollars | /r/Greentext

Anonymous DUNE 2 FLOPS AT THE BOX OFFICE 1.06 MB PNG 04/02/24(Tue)10:41:48 No. 197863394 BARELY LIMPED PAST $600M WW THIS WEEKEND AND NU- DUNEFAGS ARE ALREADY PANICKING SAYING THAT WB NEEDS TO DO A RE- RELEASE/CANCEL THE DIGITAL RELEASE (WHICH COMES OUT TODAY) The "NEXT LOTR!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ladies and Gentlemen 84 Replies / 15 Images View Thread Anonymous 42 KB JPG >>197867936 # 04/02/24(Tue)15:48:54 No.197867890 >BUT WHY?!?!?!?!?!?! Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)15:50:30 No.197867926 >I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND! >IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE NEXT LOTR!!!! 313 KB PNG >>197867936 #

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Anon finally understands the Twilight hype. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)16:24:57 No.150079078 ►>>150079193>>150079231 >>150079258 >>150079449 >>150079666 >>150079790 >>150079805 >>150080021 >>150080117 >>150080506 >>150080690 >>150080756 >>150081242 >>150082099 >>150082326 >>150082396>>150084459 >>150084748>>150084805>>150084902 >>150085323 >>150085352 >>150086312 >>150086927 >>150087196 >>150087263>>150087750 >>150088325 >>150089464>>150093635>>150094527>>150096480>>150096994>>150097169>>150097731>>150097982 File: Id.png (499 KB, 1047x1572) life and death Stephanie Meyer wrote a book that was a remake of Twilight with every character's gender swapped So it's now a story about a sullen loser high school boy who gets systemically stalked and pressured into a relationship by a borderline psychotic vampire girl that's constantly internally struggling with her desire to f--- him outweighing her desire to eat him, who then protects him from an even more predatory vampire girl who simply wants to torture and devour him, then she later gets into a feud with a muscular and athletic Native American werewolf girl that is also in love with him Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon) 18:54:14 No.150084902 >>150096603 >>150079078 what the f--- I finally get it Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)23:31:26 No.150096603 File: 6sfha4wsu5x11.png (122 KB, 750x422) I get it now. >>150084902 Damn, now I feel bad for making fun of Twilight all these years. What the f--- happened to me?

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