Anon lives with his mother | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)23:10:32 No.916293840 I'm laying in bed while my mom is doing the dishes and cooking delicious chicken wings for dinner. Why don't you live at home with your mom? 73 KB JPG 17 Replies 7 Images Anonymous >>916293840 (OP) # View Thread 04/02/24(Tue)23:49:17 No.916295472 Because I trooned out and now live with my "daddy" Anonymous get a job, p------------ >>916295545 # 04/02/24(Tue)23:50:20 No.916295527 Anonymous >>916295527 # f--- you 04/02/24(Tue)23:50:41 No.916295545

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon hires a prostitute | /r/Greentext

File: avatars-000640643481-lba(...).jpg (38 KB, 500x500) Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)23:34:50 No.847224229 [Reply] >>847224511 >>847225079 >Be me >26 yo degenerate >Seek out a s------ prostitute's ad online >BBC as thick as my wrist >Contact her and tell her I'd like to come see her >She is available >Ask her if she is ok with me being first timer with a special type of lady >She says she is good with beginners >Tell her that I've never actually been penetrated so I'm a virgin back there >She assures me that she will be very gentle >Ask her if it would be ok to meet with her friend, BWC >She confirms that her friend is also available but the price will be double >Ask her if they both could do me at the same time >She tells me that it is possible >Ask her if it would be possible that they switch places while going at me >She tells that if I want them to with a smilie >ask her if they'd be ok with bareback >she says yes >ask her to confirm everything we discussed and to just take a lead when I arrive >She assures me I will be taken good care of when I'm there >Text her that I checked my bank account and that I don't have any money She has been calling and sending text messages for the past 30 minutes.

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Anon likes April fools | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Me when April 1 29 KB JPG >fuckyea.jpg 04/02/24(Tue)11:01:28 No.916285656 >be me >Junior in college >couple weeks ago, roommate comes back from visiting her mom >anon my mom gave me all this alcohol that I don't like >Literally like 3 cases of beer and some handles of Tito's >fast forward to yesterday, April 1 >One handle empty, one full >First one back from classes >devious thoughts occur >take full Tito's from fridge and hide it >Fill up empty one with water, put it in fridge >Roommate gets back >start acting up about the vodka being bad >have her smell it and convince her to take a shot >after she stares at me with full disappointment Ha ha got her ass April fools Gonna have people over this weekend and can't wait to do the same thing

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anon has a billion-dollar idea | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)21:59:0 >strip nekkid >duct tape machete to dominant hand >Take 100+ mg of pcp and LSD >step into urban area >????? >PROFIT

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I would not blame him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 KB JPG 04/02/24(Tue)18:15:47 No.76989024 >wife is 20 weeks pregnant with second child >genetic testing had come back saying no high risk of anything >wife gets ultrasound yesterday >everything is mainly fine but doctor says the back of the neck is just on the cusp of being big enough to be a sign of Down Syndrome >doctor says not to worry >been having a full-blown anxiety attack since then Is it wrong to plan to kill myself if the baby ends up with Downs? I can't live that life. I won't spend the next 50ish years being miserable but having to pretend I'm happy taking care of an adult with the mental capacity of a three year old.

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Anon gives thanks to the neuroatypical community | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)07:15:19 No.99795275 shut up mom ssh is 500 ms slower than normal. MUST INVESTIGATE! the west must be saved son, are you still benchmarking postgresql? You can't just keep doing that all day. millions of computers must be safe 1.11 MB PNG imagine being the chink glowies who spent years working on a sophisticated social engineering plan to take over one of the most important and widely used open source projects in the world to execute potentially one of the worst cyberattacks in history, just to be stopped by some autistic dude who sperged out about ssh taking 0.7 seconds instead of 0.2 seconds. Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)07:17:28 No.99795296 I'd like to give my heartfelt thanks to all the autists of the world. We would be living in darker times without you. Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)07:18:54 No.99795310 I still can't believe someone could be this much of a sperg. god bless his autistic heart.

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Anons wonder why Dune 2 did not make a gorillion dollars | /r/Greentext

Anonymous DUNE 2 FLOPS AT THE BOX OFFICE 1.06 MB PNG 04/02/24(Tue)10:41:48 No. 197863394 BARELY LIMPED PAST $600M WW THIS WEEKEND AND NU- DUNEFAGS ARE ALREADY PANICKING SAYING THAT WB NEEDS TO DO A RE- RELEASE/CANCEL THE DIGITAL RELEASE (WHICH COMES OUT TODAY) The "NEXT LOTR!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ladies and Gentlemen 84 Replies / 15 Images View Thread Anonymous 42 KB JPG >>197867936 # 04/02/24(Tue)15:48:54 No.197867890 >BUT WHY?!?!?!?!?!?! Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)15:50:30 No.197867926 >I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND! >IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE NEXT LOTR!!!! 313 KB PNG >>197867936 #

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Anon finally understands the Twilight hype. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)16:24:57 No.150079078 ►>>150079193>>150079231 >>150079258 >>150079449 >>150079666 >>150079790 >>150079805 >>150080021 >>150080117 >>150080506 >>150080690 >>150080756 >>150081242 >>150082099 >>150082326 >>150082396>>150084459 >>150084748>>150084805>>150084902 >>150085323 >>150085352 >>150086312 >>150086927 >>150087196 >>150087263>>150087750 >>150088325 >>150089464>>150093635>>150094527>>150096480>>150096994>>150097169>>150097731>>150097982 File: Id.png (499 KB, 1047x1572) life and death Stephanie Meyer wrote a book that was a remake of Twilight with every character's gender swapped So it's now a story about a sullen loser high school boy who gets systemically stalked and pressured into a relationship by a borderline psychotic vampire girl that's constantly internally struggling with her desire to f--- him outweighing her desire to eat him, who then protects him from an even more predatory vampire girl who simply wants to torture and devour him, then she later gets into a feud with a muscular and athletic Native American werewolf girl that is also in love with him Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon) 18:54:14 No.150084902 >>150096603 >>150079078 what the f--- I finally get it Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)23:31:26 No.150096603 File: 6sfha4wsu5x11.png (122 KB, 750x422) I get it now. >>150084902 Damn, now I feel bad for making fun of Twilight all these years. What the f--- happened to me?

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Plight of the wageslave | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 38 KB JPG 04/02/24(Tue)18:14:35 No.76989644 >Trying to cope with being a wageslave rather than doing my usual work for a while and then go into NEET hibernation mode on the savings >Dump considerable amount of money on a sportscar >Didn't work, the enjoyment the car brings isn't quite enough to offset the suffering of slavery >Now I just drive my corvette to work while daydreaming about high speed chases and driving into walls I think the worst part is the dark knowledge that being a NEET isn't so great either There is no escape is there : Anonymous >>76989644 (OP) # 04/02/24(Tue)18:22:23 No.76989695 I had a high paying office job and I couldn't do it, simply because i found the psychological pressure of being around/collaborating with normalfags to be too much. If I didn't have the issue of having to work with other people, I'd probably still have a career.

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Dwarfbros, how do we stop winning? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous HIGH TEST vane Alpha 03/26/24(Tue)13:06:51 No.73908261 LOW TEST lanklet Beta 13513515.png 6 KB PNG >be manlet >muscles look bigger >above average penis looks enormous >can easily punch lanklets in the groin and chins How can lanklets even compete?

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Unga Bunga | /r/Greentext

Ancient Lifts 67 KB JPG >be me >On vacation in Africa >Visit a government run park >Has random huts with informational posters >Go to biggest hut >Find a bunch of bleached animal bones >Pick up a couple Giraffe leg bones >They're f------ huge and weigh more than I expected solid 15-25lbs depending on bone >Holdup.mp3 >Bones weighted exactly like dumbbells >Suddenly ancestral unga bunga memories activate >Vivid images of ancient humans and their animal bone lifts flash through my brain >Grug doing pull-ups on tree limbs weighed down by the spines of megafauna >Hex bar deadlifting hippo ribcages >Squatting Glyptodont shells >Cave gym master race >Wish I could curl a mammoth femur just once Anyone aware of evidence that animal bones were the first dumbbells?

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Do they know that porn is free | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [+] 04/02/24(Tue)15:43:03 No.195558437 Date Somebody your out age you f------ CREEP This is a Prostitute Thank God then both involved in loving and Monogamis tionship 145 KB JPG >90% of only fans subscribers are married >70% white >60% heterosexual >29years old on averaging >makes $40k >many where the wife knows W-- Why would a young married chad be blaming the lonely incel for simping Incels deserve an apology most rather fap to the free s--- How dare they demise this community https://youtu.be/LN2bqXzXYeU?si=1AybxusWlg-y2Spd [Open]

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Anon is filled with envy | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous (ID: 1PXW9eLI 04/02/24 (Tue)03:31:35 No.463696997 >be saudi >live in one of biggest countries in asia >yet we have no rivers >not one >and we have no forests >I've never heard the sound of rushing water >never walked beneath trees so thick with leaves they hide the sun >All I know is sand and rocks >everywhere I go >rocks and sand and you westoids wonder why we hate you. No its not cuz youre infidels. It's cuz we have to live in a literal goddamn hellscape and you don't. So f--- you.

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