A beef wellington ensemble with lettuce | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File : 1289152006.jpg-(79 KB, 840x780, ImSoBritish.jpg) -I'M SO BRITISH I S--- THE QUEEN Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:46:46 No.285473XXX >my face when americans call "wobbly flip-shutters" doors >my face when americans call a "Small Ben" a clock >my face when americans call a "chimey pushknob" a doorbell >my face when americans call "niffy loo pudding" feces >my face when americans call a "Hooty tooty point and shooty" a gun >my face when Americans call a "beef wellington ensemble with lettuce" a hamburger >my face when americans call "crockety snapwickets" markers >my face when americans call "cold on the cob" popsicles >my face when americans call a "loony chuckle fairy" a clown >my face when americans call a "cuff-link time Johnny" a watch Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:49:07 No.285473XXX I lol'd...hard Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:49:44 No.285473XXX >cold on the cob LOL Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:51:04 No.285474XXX I'm English, and these are funny. Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12-51-16 No 285474XXX

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon has a work crush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 232 KB JPG have fun <3" 02/25/21(Thu)23:27:35 No.848305823 >Crush from work seems to be into me >She makes plans to go drinking with me >She flakes out 3 seperate occasions >She suggests we should work out together >*Day to excersize arrives* >"Oh I worked out with my mom today, >On 1 night, she didn't have plans >Asks her out >"but we're so far away :(" >She lives 30 mins away b/ I'm not some smelly fat awkward retard, I'm in shape, and take care of myself... What gives, is she just stringing me along? Anonymous >>848305823 (OP) # Been there and I think so. She probably talks about you and laughs about you to her friends. 02/25/21(Thu)23:29:05 No.848305927

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Anon becomes based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous K 8 KB JPG 10/13/23 (Fri)10:38:07 No.907604387 >be me, not particularly religious >works in company with middle Eastern owner > pretty decent amount of gays and liberals in the company >Lots of diversity overall, pretty good environment >Higher up retires so there's a vacant spot >Company owner starts asking " you gay? What you think about gay?" While pointing fingers at people picked at random >People either say yes, or "no, but there's nothing wrong with it" >He points the finger at me >No, gay Haram >Stares at me in the eyes for 5 seconds, just walks away and stops asking people >Salary doubles and gets the open position

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Anon gets a new experience | /r/Greentext

Guy.jpg (49 KB, 508x718) Anonymous 05/18/21 (Tue)23:53:45 >Be me >Be gay >Start looking at femboys, I start to like them >Go on forums and learn they are real >Start fantasizing about them >Decide to do something >Go to a club to try to hook up >Meet this cute femboy at the bar >After a few drinks we go to my place >Start making out >After a while things get heated >He gets undressed >He has a vagina >She isn't a femboy, shes just a normal girl >MFW I'm actually straight and not a f-----

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anon is going to get strawmanned by readit normies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Q20GRQch) H why are normies such sociopath(...) 10/12/23(Thu)11:05:55 No.444491815 Savign 05/28/2010 23:25 COABD6B7-7563-4E2B-96DD-1EE1ADD6217C.jpg 308 KB JPG >saved 20 innocent people, who were born into this cruel, heroin-illegal, world against their consent, from a lifetime of suffering >made the sociopathic parents suffer, who don't not deserve it as they reproduced in a world where non-asexuals with micropenises, 9-5 lifestyle, kidney stones, gender dysphoria, genetic homosexuality in sheep-f-----(homophobic arab) countries, cancer and, even more f------ awful, r--- exists >considered an evil p------------, meanwhile there are billions of "people" who openly worship god despite the '44 Days Of Hell' case being proof that he is either fake or evil Yes, I almost have a lil sympathy for shooters; f--- off, sociopathic NPC retard. Adam Lanza saved somebody from being r---- and he deserves an eternal heroin high afterlife.

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Anon is scared.......... | /r/Greentext

>make post criticizing google >next captcha shows street near my house

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Anon is pleasantly surprised | /r/Greentext

ABSOLUTELY HALAL Anonymous (ID: Ya56WRa/ >be captain in Iranian Revolutionary Guard >get assigned to training camp in s------- Yemen desert >have to train inbred Hamas Arabs h---------- zion pigs >F------ Allah I hate dirty arabs >"Captain Anon, will we finally rid the holy lands of the infidels with this strike?” >"Sure kid, it'll work, just trust in Allah's plan" >these dipshits probly wont even breach the first barrier >oh well, we've got an inexhaustible supply of these retards >ffw to 7 October 10/12/23(Thu)13:04:21 No.444499005 >mfw it's the most successful jihad since 9/11 >mfw Zion levels Gaza in retaliation >mfw Zion's trade deal with the Saudis falls apart >mfw Hamas still doesn't suspect we're just using them to dominate the region rofl

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Anon’s solution to the Gaza problem: | /r/Greentext

B-36 Peacemaker.jpg, 66KiB, 750x468 BO Anonymous Sat 22 Apr 2023 07:07:51 No.57939001 Quoted By: >>57939054 >>57940774 >>57938631 This. >1000 B-36 Peacemakers (I know they only made a few hundred of them, but that was a mistake) >Each one carrying 2 T-12 'Cloudmaker' earthquake bombs >Level the entire city; sorry diplomats, but sometimes it's about sending a message >Just in case it's not clear have a single lighter aircraft follow the bombers and drop a highly ruggedised and long life speaker system >Have the speaker system repeat a simple "F--- around and find out" message on a permanent loop >Have the President make a TV appearance, with footage of the raid playing on a big screen behind him, making the same message in a more eloquent form I can't find video of a T-12 detonating, so here's one of the Grand Slam for comparison, it's an earlier British design that was just over half the size of the Cloudmaker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpfZX9nLSpQ

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Vietanon asks the right questions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Ve7hsWP6 10/13/23(Fri)19:01:07 No.444610805 Ben Shapiro @benshapiro - 21h You wanted pictorial proof of dead Jewish babies? Here it is, you pathetic Jew-haters. Israel will minimize civilian casualties. But Israel will not allow the pieces of human s--- who did this to live. Every ounce of blood spilled in Gaza is on Hamas. Screenshot_20231013_185545_X.jpg 514 KB JPG Whats wrong with conservative n-----? >Ukraine is not the US problem! >but Isarel is! >show obvious Al generated images like this as "proof" America is going into another war again, isn't it? >I won't die for Jews! You will for your owners

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Anon That's why you test it out first | /r/Greentext

us NG 03/15/23(Wed)09:10:41 No.75885686 >You decide to finally unfreeze time after 6 months only to find out everyone had remained conscious the whole time and is aware of what you did.

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Poor grandma is traumatized | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 193 KB PNG 10/12/22(Wed) 20:47:17 No.887195041 >be me, coomer >do it in a t-shirt, 3-5 times a day >maybe 40-50 cooms per shirt, until it turns crusty >toss shirts behind the couch, forget about them >grandma comes over to help my mom clean the house for some event >hey anon, I found these shirts behind the couch, I don't know what those are, I didn't touch them She knows, doesn't she?

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Anon isn't making it out the hood. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/13/23(Fri)07:03:40 No.75049254 >Have nice boyfriend with good job >One days decides to become a 93 KB JPG soundcloud rapper >Hear his first song >Ridiculous lyrics >Terrible voice >Beat pirated from YouTube >Have to give fake encouragement to not seem like a bitch >One day he comes home from work >Says he's quitting his job to become a rapper >His friends and family encouraging him >Fast forward 4 months >100 plays on his biggest song 2 followers >$3000 on studio equipment >What idiot encouraged the first average joe to put out a mixtape on soundcloud?

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Anon gets a new mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 95 KB PNG 13.10.2023, 12:46:16 No.86657767 > be me > have exhausting day at work, head kind of foggy > walk into my boss's office > say "Hey ma, can you help me with this form" > realized i just called her mommy > she smiles and helps me fill out the form > next few days she's always in a happy mood and treats me extra nicely > recently just invited me over for a cup of coffee What does this mean guys? I dont know what do

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