Anon is pleasantly surprised | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

ABSOLUTELY HALAL Anonymous (ID: Ya56WRa/ >be captain in Iranian Revolutionary Guard >get assigned to training camp in s------- Yemen desert >have to train inbred Hamas Arabs h---------- zion pigs >F------ Allah I hate dirty arabs >"Captain Anon, will we finally rid the holy lands of the infidels with this strike?” >"Sure kid, it'll work, just trust in Allah's plan" >these dipshits probly wont even breach the first barrier >oh well, we've got an inexhaustible supply of these retards >ffw to 7 October 10/12/23(Thu)13:04:21 No.444499005 >mfw it's the most successful jihad since 9/11 >mfw Zion levels Gaza in retaliation >mfw Zion's trade deal with the Saudis falls apart >mfw Hamas still doesn't suspect we're just using them to dominate the region rofl

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon’s solution to the Gaza problem: | /r/Greentext

B-36 Peacemaker.jpg, 66KiB, 750x468 BO Anonymous Sat 22 Apr 2023 07:07:51 No.57939001 Quoted By: >>57939054 >>57940774 >>57938631 This. >1000 B-36 Peacemakers (I know they only made a few hundred of them, but that was a mistake) >Each one carrying 2 T-12 'Cloudmaker' earthquake bombs >Level the entire city; sorry diplomats, but sometimes it's about sending a message >Just in case it's not clear have a single lighter aircraft follow the bombers and drop a highly ruggedised and long life speaker system >Have the speaker system repeat a simple "F--- around and find out" message on a permanent loop >Have the President make a TV appearance, with footage of the raid playing on a big screen behind him, making the same message in a more eloquent form I can't find video of a T-12 detonating, so here's one of the Grand Slam for comparison, it's an earlier British design that was just over half the size of the Cloudmaker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpfZX9nLSpQ

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Vietanon asks the right questions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Ve7hsWP6 10/13/23(Fri)19:01:07 No.444610805 Ben Shapiro @benshapiro - 21h You wanted pictorial proof of dead Jewish babies? Here it is, you pathetic Jew-haters. Israel will minimize civilian casualties. But Israel will not allow the pieces of human s--- who did this to live. Every ounce of blood spilled in Gaza is on Hamas. Screenshot_20231013_185545_X.jpg 514 KB JPG Whats wrong with conservative n-----? >Ukraine is not the US problem! >but Isarel is! >show obvious Al generated images like this as "proof" America is going into another war again, isn't it? >I won't die for Jews! You will for your owners

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Anon That's why you test it out first | /r/Greentext

us NG 03/15/23(Wed)09:10:41 No.75885686 >You decide to finally unfreeze time after 6 months only to find out everyone had remained conscious the whole time and is aware of what you did.

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Poor grandma is traumatized | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 193 KB PNG 10/12/22(Wed) 20:47:17 No.887195041 >be me, coomer >do it in a t-shirt, 3-5 times a day >maybe 40-50 cooms per shirt, until it turns crusty >toss shirts behind the couch, forget about them >grandma comes over to help my mom clean the house for some event >hey anon, I found these shirts behind the couch, I don't know what those are, I didn't touch them She knows, doesn't she?

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Anon isn't making it out the hood. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/13/23(Fri)07:03:40 No.75049254 >Have nice boyfriend with good job >One days decides to become a 93 KB JPG soundcloud rapper >Hear his first song >Ridiculous lyrics >Terrible voice >Beat pirated from YouTube >Have to give fake encouragement to not seem like a bitch >One day he comes home from work >Says he's quitting his job to become a rapper >His friends and family encouraging him >Fast forward 4 months >100 plays on his biggest song 2 followers >$3000 on studio equipment >What idiot encouraged the first average joe to put out a mixtape on soundcloud?

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Anon gets a new mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 95 KB PNG 13.10.2023, 12:46:16 No.86657767 > be me > have exhausting day at work, head kind of foggy > walk into my boss's office > say "Hey ma, can you help me with this form" > realized i just called her mommy > she smiles and helps me fill out the form > next few days she's always in a happy mood and treats me extra nicely > recently just invited me over for a cup of coffee What does this mean guys? I dont know what do

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Anon hates communism | /r/Greentext

>belief is used on a huge country >became a nature hating failed dystopia >belief is again used on a huge country with billions of manpower and fertile natural resources and strong culture >the culture almost died while the country became a nature hating dystopia >the belief is AGAIN used on other small countries >all of them became living hell D 4 KB PNG >while the belief is proven many times to be complete unrealistic b------- made by a rich f----- who never experienced the hardships of life >Yet western mfs are still trying to follow this s--- We don't need any more third world hellholes, stop being a commie ffs

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Wholesome Moments Guy gets to feel like a kid again instead of being seen as creepy | /r/Greentext

I live in an apartment complex that has a bunch of little kids. During the original lockdowns I would go outside to walk around and get out and one day one of the kids launched a soccer ball my direction and without thinking I headed the ball back to them and they said something like "WHOA! Do it again! Do it again!" And I was hesitant at first because I'm bald 31 year old with a large beard playing with a bunch of little kids. I told them "Im not sure if your parents would want you playing with a stranger but you guys have fun!" I didn't realize their mom was sitting inside with the window open watching them and I hear her yell "Please kick the ball around with them if you want to, I know you live across the hall I see you all the time!". I proceeded to play soccer with them for about 2 hours and had a blast. Now every Friday without fail a group of kids knock on my door at 6pm because they know I'm off work and want me to play some kind of game with them. We played freeze tag last Friday it was dope, I cheated and climbed a tree so they couldn't get me. Makes me feel like a kid again and it truly is a highlight to my week. The mom also brings me fresh homemade tamales at least every 2 weeks and refuses to let me pay for them.

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Life is not fair | /r/Greentext

Women HATE Thread >be me >working since i was 14 years old >fried burguers, painted wall, did whatever to get ends meet >studied math like a pig >get stupid job as math teacher where students throw s--- at me >make 60 thousand a year >pretend im happy >be belle delphine >be woman >wear make up >learn how to stick tongue out >make 120 thousand a week on Patreon only >will probably be a millionaire in two months Why the f--- is this s--- allowed? I've never been so close to suicide before. This society does not deserve jack. I thought I was a p------------, but now I realize I'm too good for this. I'm out.

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Anon stays focused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 10/13/23(Fri)07:34:15 No.75045493 >be me nofap veteran >girls keep hitting me up in my dms asking to send naughty pics back and forth >lie and say im in a relationship >nofap streak successfully protected this is like the third time its happened bros

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Glowies hour | /r/Greentext

trans rights 10 KB JPG 10/13/23(Fri)12:01:16 No.188577098 >make a thread about the CIA during EU hours >mention CIA >American flags quickly start replying (even doe they should be asleep) and downplaying whatever was said >thread derails This is just a coincidence, right? : Anonymous I wouldn't worry about it. >>188577396 # >>188578143 # : Anonymous 10/13/23(Fri)12:06:06 No.188577217 Nah that sounds pretty normal, don't think too hard about it >>188577396 # >>188578143 # >>188577396 # 10/13/23(Fri)12:02:50 No.188577145 : Anonymous Maybe YOU should be asleep 10/13/23(Fri)12:07:01 No.188577233

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Anon dislikes Modern Family | /r/Greentext

10/07/23(Sat)02:24:25 No.190704687 ► >>190704816 >>190705297 >Be me >F18 >My roommate keeps watching "Modern Family" everyday >Hate it because I find every single moment of that show cringe and painfully unfunny >Can't say anything because my roommate is a very polite and sweet girl and I don't want to come across as a bitch Seriously why does anyone like this show?! Anonymous 10/07/23(Sat)02:30:18 No.190704786 >>190704816 >>190704896 File: f18 jet.jpg (441 KB, 2000x1333) barrier? i've never spoken to a f18 before. what's it like up that high? what does it feel like breaking the sound Anonymous 10/07/23 (Sat)02:32:12 No.190704816 ► >>190704896 >>190705215 >>190704687 (OP) # >>190704786 # I really do believe it's more likely OP is a fighter jet than a girl.

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