Anon follows his dreams | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Internet 4/22 (Fri) 10:23 >be me >Truck driver >Get bored >Yoho.exe >Start playing sea shanties while driving and sing along >My truck is my vessel and the road 18 KB PNG my ocean Life is good anons. Follow your dreams. START SELECT Post a Reply Return Catalog Top Refresh +) Menu MIC

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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We are all gonna make it | /r/Greentext

>be me >27 >cook/everything else >closing up restaurant >me and one girl finishing up in kitchen >light flirting feeling it out >close up and walk her to her car >say bye and hug 24 KB JPG >she does the gril thing where she falls into the hug a little >catch her no problem >shes breathless >wow anon you're so strong now shes sending me naughty pics feels good boys

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Anon protects his virginity at all costs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/22(Sat)12:27:33 No.872553388 > Be me > Be cab driver in major tourist city > Haven't had sex in so long i'm basically virgin again > Pick up 3 spanish qt3.14s at the airport, ask to go to city hotel > Sure > During the ride we talk about the fun 32 KB JPG things to do in the city, night parties, where to get weed and booze, usual stuff > Arrived at their hotel > They say 'that was fun, why don't you hang out with us tonight?" > Turbo-autism kicks in > Answer 'oh no I can't, my girlfriend wouldn't be happy about that' > >I don't have a girlfriend > why am i like this

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Anon likes incest | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)19:06:44 No.876762621 Embarrassing stories that ruined your life? >be me, like 4th or 5th grade >learning sex-ed >one of the smart girls in class asks if we'll be talking about Sigmund Freud theories and was told no >other kids start asking what that means and why 61 KB JPG we won't be learning it >teacher is hesitant but explains briefly who he was and his theories >smart girl grins and yells "Ya he said boys want to try and sleep with their moms cause boys are gross!" >it was a setup all along, well played >general laughing and tomfoolery occurs as the teacher tries to get us back on track >later at recess the boys are talking about ass vs t--- >one of them asks me my preference >"T--- are way better" >they're shocked and say they thought l'd be an ass man this is where s--- gets autistic >having just learned about Freud's theory I thought l'd make a joke >blurt out "of course I prefer t---, you've all met my mom!" >there is a stunned silence for all of 0.69 seconds when they all burst out laughing >mfw my nickname from then on was M----------- The worst part has got to be going to a college far from home and thinking I can finally have a fresh start and the 2nd day there some dude comes up to me in front of a bunch of classmates and says "Hey Anon! We went to public school together, remember. You still the m-----------?"

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Anon talks about Pizza Hut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Jn5n4Yqx 03/27/22(Sun)01:32:10 No.369540732 >>369540668 (OP) # You ever see the classic pizza hut buildings? The iconic roof and solid brick- work make the buildings stand out even if they are sold and repurposed. Sure they can paint it, put decorations on it, rename it, hell you can even put a giant sign on it that says "not a pizza hut!", but in the end everyone knows that used to be a pizza hut. The building could even change from the food industry entirely and the first thought on their mind will be "wow it's weird that the pizza hut is a bank now". That's what you are, 94 KB JPG t-----. >>369540906 # >>369542652 # >>369542812 # >>369543047 # >>369547775 # >>369550590 # >>369551691 # >>369551792 # >>369552306 # >>369553095 # >>369554043 # >>369556642 # >>369558806 # >>369559109 # >>369559297 # >>369559961 #

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What’s not to get | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)20:18:51 No.66689300 What the f---? >Girl in my class that I talk with sometimes >People think we're together >She keeps saying how she will NEVER date me >And that she's way out of my league 231 KB PNG >Don't care lol. >One day we're making some small talk >Topic goes onto dating >She reinstates that she can do way better then me >"That's ok, I don't really think you're really good looking" >She hasn't talked to me since What the f---? : Anon 12/23/21(Thu)20:23:29 No.66689341 >>66689300 (OP) # >haha i get to flex that this guy totally wants to f--- me but i would never >"actually I don't like you at all" >realize I'm just a failed attention w---- >immediately cut contact to save face average basic bitch things

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anon plays a prank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)22:05:48 No.68329687 Rate this prank I pulled out of 10 >my mom is 70 years old >she's scared of developing Alzheimer's because her mother started showing the earliest symptoms at 74 and was diagnosed at 77 >this morning my mom texted me 700 KB GIF something >l replied with "You don't remember that you already told me this? We talked about it for a solid hour yesterday." >she's freaking out now thinking she might be showing beginner signs of Alzheimer's Don't worry I'll tell her before the day's over that I was just kidding lol

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Anon orders food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:50:51 No.876704350 wat you wan ordah 54 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:53:18 No.876704444 >>876704350 (OP) # Shrimp fri rie : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:53:52 No.876704473 Can i get shrimp lo mein dinner combo please

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Anon has a good boss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon know how to please HR | /r/Greentext

>>374173695 >be me >handsome >meet HR lady after my first interview >clearly underqualified for the job >shake hands with HR lady but let my hand linger so it's like we're holding hands sensually for a few extra seconds as we make eye contact >"so...do you have any experience in this field?" >"Nope, but l'm a fast learner. I love your hair by the way, the color looks really good on you." >she blushes and smiles >manager walks in >"so how is he? Should I hire him?" >"I think we should :)" easy. obviously I got fired after 9 months because they realized I have no reason to be anywhere near MRI machines.

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Anon is an online teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)18:41:29 No.876744053 Times you cucked people over at work: >Teacherfag >Everything's online >Don't mark s--- for one student >Split test into 4 separate assignments on Google Classroom >Only mark 1 of the 4, student gets a 60 kek 786 KB PNG >Don't bother marking anything else he hands in >Put 60 on midterm, contact his parents saying I'm worried he's not paying attention Lol f--- that little f----- : Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)18:50:28 No.876744451 >>876744053 (OP) # You're why I have trust issues

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Anon likes moles. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention

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The ballad of Ella. The best greentext ever created, haven't been reposted in a while. Made me cry | /r/Greentext

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