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>be me >27 >cook/everything else >closing up restaurant >me and one girl finishing up in kitchen >light flirting feeling it out >close up and walk her to her car >say bye and hug 24 KB JPG >she does the gril thing where she falls into the hug a little >catch her no problem >shes breathless >wow anon you're so strong now shes sending me naughty pics feels good boys

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Anonymous ITT: Cooking buzzwords you hat(...) 1.4 MB WEBM 11/01/24(Fri)04:24:25 No.20946633 >comfort food All food is supposed to be comforting, there's no non-comfort food that's worth cooking. >soul food Its just basic American homemade dishes, but greasier and overcooked. >creamy Probably means it is tasteless without being buried in heavy whipping cream to mask the taste. >garlicky See above, just replace whipping cream with garlic. >fusion Oh wow, you added soy sauce to it, such fusion. Anonymous 11/01/24(Fri)04:39:15 No.20946637 >literal autistic retard triggered by everyday words and phrases thread no #43923948234 >>20946994 # >>20947280 #

BREAKING: Justin Trudeau to resign as Prime Minister of Canada It's Trudover... 466 KB PNG 01/05/25(Sun) 23:25:58 No.493452575 >Goes into office and Inherits a generous surplus from the conservative party >Squanders it all and ends up collecting more debt than all other PM combined >Lets food prices shoot through the roof, to the point Canadians are keeling over from scurvy (yes the pirate disease) >Exiles hobo towns and closes roads for a Taylor Swift concert >Doesnt do the same for a veterans parade >Allows swarms of jeets destroy the job market. >Provides incentives to jobs if they hire foreign jeets but not for Canadian citizens >Decides to throw all the blame on to his subordinates >They all resign and tell him to eat s--- >Does nothing and hides in his office for the holidays >Eventually rage quits after everyone calls for his resignation. Canacucks... I thought we had it bad.

Anonymous 37 KB JPG >be me 08/25/21(Wed)23:12:04 No.861801953 >22 and poor in college >deliver food for a restaurant for a few months >sometimes people order takeout but don't pick it up >if it happens late enough in my shift I get to take it home with me >always ate the best those nights since it was free >be me now, 35+ >started calling corporate restaurants and ordering takeout about a half hour before close >always spoof the caller ID to show up as my ex wife >been doing it for about 3 years >never pick it up >gives me a warm fuzzy feeling knowing i gave some young person a free meal and also my ex gets black listed from every restaurant in town

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Anon protects his virginity at all costs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/22(Sat)12:27:33 No.872553388 > Be me > Be cab driver in major tourist city > Haven't had sex in so long i'm basically virgin again > Pick up 3 spanish qt3.14s at the airport, ask to go to city hotel > Sure > During the ride we talk about the fun 32 KB JPG things to do in the city, night parties, where to get weed and booze, usual stuff > Arrived at their hotel > They say 'that was fun, why don't you hang out with us tonight?" > Turbo-autism kicks in > Answer 'oh no I can't, my girlfriend wouldn't be happy about that' > >I don't have a girlfriend > why am i like this

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Anon likes incest | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)19:06:44 No.876762621 Embarrassing stories that ruined your life? >be me, like 4th or 5th grade >learning sex-ed >one of the smart girls in class asks if we'll be talking about Sigmund Freud theories and was told no >other kids start asking what that means and why 61 KB JPG we won't be learning it >teacher is hesitant but explains briefly who he was and his theories >smart girl grins and yells "Ya he said boys want to try and sleep with their moms cause boys are gross!" >it was a setup all along, well played >general laughing and tomfoolery occurs as the teacher tries to get us back on track >later at recess the boys are talking about ass vs t--- >one of them asks me my preference >"T--- are way better" >they're shocked and say they thought l'd be an ass man this is where s--- gets autistic >having just learned about Freud's theory I thought l'd make a joke >blurt out "of course I prefer t---, you've all met my mom!" >there is a stunned silence for all of 0.69 seconds when they all burst out laughing >mfw my nickname from then on was M----------- The worst part has got to be going to a college far from home and thinking I can finally have a fresh start and the 2nd day there some dude comes up to me in front of a bunch of classmates and says "Hey Anon! We went to public school together, remember. You still the m-----------?"

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Anon talks about Pizza Hut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Jn5n4Yqx 03/27/22(Sun)01:32:10 No.369540732 >>369540668 (OP) # You ever see the classic pizza hut buildings? The iconic roof and solid brick- work make the buildings stand out even if they are sold and repurposed. Sure they can paint it, put decorations on it, rename it, hell you can even put a giant sign on it that says "not a pizza hut!", but in the end everyone knows that used to be a pizza hut. The building could even change from the food industry entirely and the first thought on their mind will be "wow it's weird that the pizza hut is a bank now". That's what you are, 94 KB JPG t-----. >>369540906 # >>369542652 # >>369542812 # >>369543047 # >>369547775 # >>369550590 # >>369551691 # >>369551792 # >>369552306 # >>369553095 # >>369554043 # >>369556642 # >>369558806 # >>369559109 # >>369559297 # >>369559961 #

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What’s not to get | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)20:18:51 No.66689300 What the f---? >Girl in my class that I talk with sometimes >People think we're together >She keeps saying how she will NEVER date me >And that she's way out of my league 231 KB PNG >Don't care lol. >One day we're making some small talk >Topic goes onto dating >She reinstates that she can do way better then me >"That's ok, I don't really think you're really good looking" >She hasn't talked to me since What the f---? : Anon 12/23/21(Thu)20:23:29 No.66689341 >>66689300 (OP) # >haha i get to flex that this guy totally wants to f--- me but i would never >"actually I don't like you at all" >realize I'm just a failed attention w---- >immediately cut contact to save face average basic bitch things

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anon plays a prank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)22:05:48 No.68329687 Rate this prank I pulled out of 10 >my mom is 70 years old >she's scared of developing Alzheimer's because her mother started showing the earliest symptoms at 74 and was diagnosed at 77 >this morning my mom texted me 700 KB GIF something >l replied with "You don't remember that you already told me this? We talked about it for a solid hour yesterday." >she's freaking out now thinking she might be showing beginner signs of Alzheimer's Don't worry I'll tell her before the day's over that I was just kidding lol

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Anon orders food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:50:51 No.876704350 wat you wan ordah 54 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:53:18 No.876704444 >>876704350 (OP) # Shrimp fri rie : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:53:52 No.876704473 Can i get shrimp lo mein dinner combo please

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Anon has a good boss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon know how to please HR | /r/Greentext

>>374173695 >be me >handsome >meet HR lady after my first interview >clearly underqualified for the job >shake hands with HR lady but let my hand linger so it's like we're holding hands sensually for a few extra seconds as we make eye contact >"so...do you have any experience in this field?" >"Nope, but l'm a fast learner. I love your hair by the way, the color looks really good on you." >she blushes and smiles >manager walks in >"so how is he? Should I hire him?" >"I think we should :)" easy. obviously I got fired after 9 months because they realized I have no reason to be anywhere near MRI machines.

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Anon is an online teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)18:41:29 No.876744053 Times you cucked people over at work: >Teacherfag >Everything's online >Don't mark s--- for one student >Split test into 4 separate assignments on Google Classroom >Only mark 1 of the 4, student gets a 60 kek 786 KB PNG >Don't bother marking anything else he hands in >Put 60 on midterm, contact his parents saying I'm worried he's not paying attention Lol f--- that little f----- : Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)18:50:28 No.876744451 >>876744053 (OP) # You're why I have trust issues

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Anon likes moles. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention

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The ballad of Ella. The best greentext ever created, haven't been reposted in a while. Made me cry | /r/Greentext

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Anon goes hunting | /r/Greentext

I was hunting with my grandfather for my 19th birthday about a year ago and we both watched a deer slam it's head into a rock until it's antlers and skull were shattered. once it's 34 KB JPG brains were everywhere it tried to lick them up and looked like it couldn't even use its jaw or tongue right, so it just stood upright like a f------ human and just walked into the river and died. we left immediately and my grandad was f------ terrified. I haven't been near woods since and he moved to Florida with my grandmother for "safety reasons"

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Greentext Stories - We are all gonna make it | /r/Greentext

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>be me >27 >cook/everything else >closing up restaurant >me and one girl finishing up in kitchen >light flirting feeling it out >close up and walk her to her car >say bye and hug 24 KB JPG >she does the gril thing where she falls into the hug a little >catch her no problem >shes breathless >wow anon you're so strong now shes sending me naughty pics feels good boys

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