Anon know how to please HR | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>>374173695 >be me >handsome >meet HR lady after my first interview >clearly underqualified for the job >shake hands with HR lady but let my hand linger so it's like we're holding hands sensually for a few extra seconds as we make eye contact >"so...do you have any experience in this field?" >"Nope, but l'm a fast learner. I love your hair by the way, the color looks really good on you." >she blushes and smiles >manager walks in >"so how is he? Should I hire him?" >"I think we should :)" easy. obviously I got fired after 9 months because they realized I have no reason to be anywhere near MRI machines.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is an online teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)18:41:29 No.876744053 Times you cucked people over at work: >Teacherfag >Everything's online >Don't mark s--- for one student >Split test into 4 separate assignments on Google Classroom >Only mark 1 of the 4, student gets a 60 kek 786 KB PNG >Don't bother marking anything else he hands in >Put 60 on midterm, contact his parents saying I'm worried he's not paying attention Lol f--- that little f----- : Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)18:50:28 No.876744451 >>876744053 (OP) # You're why I have trust issues

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Anon likes moles. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention

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The ballad of Ella. The best greentext ever created, haven't been reposted in a while. Made me cry | /r/Greentext

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Anon goes hunting | /r/Greentext

I was hunting with my grandfather for my 19th birthday about a year ago and we both watched a deer slam it's head into a rock until it's antlers and skull were shattered. once it's 34 KB JPG brains were everywhere it tried to lick them up and looked like it couldn't even use its jaw or tongue right, so it just stood upright like a f------ human and just walked into the river and died. we left immediately and my grandad was f------ terrified. I haven't been near woods since and he moved to Florida with my grandmother for "safety reasons"

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Anon uses grindr. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)16:31:50 No.25448782 >guy on grindr asks me to "parTy and play" >asks if he hosts or drives >get him to host and get his address >another guy asks the same question >tell him he needs to drive and l'll host and give him the address of the other guy >mfw I rerouted two completely different 7 KB JPG methheads to each other

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femanon loves tormenting her brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)01:50:37 No.163608646 >be me >17 yo femanon >5'2" and D cups >older brother is 24 yo turbovirgin >l walk around him in a tank top with no bra and panties when the parents are away >he always tries to hide his boner then leaves the room like if he was having a panic attack >he can't talk about this to anyone because he would be the one coming off as some closeted pervert for saying this s--- drives him crazy I just love tormenting his ass

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Anon meets a coworker | /r/Greentext

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Anon has a polish friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)20:38:43 No.876766853 >be me >5 or 6 years old >My friend with a weird accent invites me over >we're playing around doing dumb kid s--- 106 KB JPG >his mom comes home and starts talking to my friend in a foreign language >only time l've heard a language I didn't understand was from the special ed kids >think my friends mom is retarded >mfw friend starts speaking back to her in mongoloid tongue I seriously thought my friend was the tard whisperer and tried to get him to talk to the window lickers for months after that. He finally caught on and told me he was Polish and his mom didn't know how to speak English. 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon doesn’t stutter | /r/Greentext

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Anon riddles you this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)22:14:41 No.68328358 > Diddle diddle I play you like a fiddle > Take a shot and try to answer my riddle > How can a good man love with joy > A woman that was used by strangers as a sextoy ? 9 KB JPG

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Anon writes a letter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)17:56:19 No.68326159 >"Anon why dont you make me letters like other couples in the movies?" >Flashback >Makes a drawing with letter >Gives it to my mother >"God anon, why do you keep giving me junk?" 29 KB JPG

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true and straightFemanon gets rejected | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/18(Thu)10:15:48 No.787778550 >be me >24yo femanon >snort heroin >wake up in hospital >meet male nurse >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg 334 KB PNG >suck him off in the bathroom >ask him on a date >"no offence anon but I'm not going to date a junkie who sucks off men in bathrooms" >mfw

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