anon plays a prank | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)22:05:48 No.68329687 Rate this prank I pulled out of 10 >my mom is 70 years old >she's scared of developing Alzheimer's because her mother started showing the earliest symptoms at 74 and was diagnosed at 77 >this morning my mom texted me 700 KB GIF something >l replied with "You don't remember that you already told me this? We talked about it for a solid hour yesterday." >she's freaking out now thinking she might be showing beginner signs of Alzheimer's Don't worry I'll tell her before the day's over that I was just kidding lol

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon orders food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:50:51 No.876704350 wat you wan ordah 54 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:53:18 No.876704444 >>876704350 (OP) # Shrimp fri rie : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:53:52 No.876704473 Can i get shrimp lo mein dinner combo please

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Anon has a good boss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon know how to please HR | /r/Greentext

>>374173695 >be me >handsome >meet HR lady after my first interview >clearly underqualified for the job >shake hands with HR lady but let my hand linger so it's like we're holding hands sensually for a few extra seconds as we make eye contact >"so...do you have any experience in this field?" >"Nope, but l'm a fast learner. I love your hair by the way, the color looks really good on you." >she blushes and smiles >manager walks in >"so how is he? Should I hire him?" >"I think we should :)" easy. obviously I got fired after 9 months because they realized I have no reason to be anywhere near MRI machines.

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Anon is an online teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)18:41:29 No.876744053 Times you cucked people over at work: >Teacherfag >Everything's online >Don't mark s--- for one student >Split test into 4 separate assignments on Google Classroom >Only mark 1 of the 4, student gets a 60 kek 786 KB PNG >Don't bother marking anything else he hands in >Put 60 on midterm, contact his parents saying I'm worried he's not paying attention Lol f--- that little f----- : Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)18:50:28 No.876744451 >>876744053 (OP) # You're why I have trust issues

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Anon likes moles. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention

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The ballad of Ella. The best greentext ever created, haven't been reposted in a while. Made me cry | /r/Greentext

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Anon goes hunting | /r/Greentext

I was hunting with my grandfather for my 19th birthday about a year ago and we both watched a deer slam it's head into a rock until it's antlers and skull were shattered. once it's 34 KB JPG brains were everywhere it tried to lick them up and looked like it couldn't even use its jaw or tongue right, so it just stood upright like a f------ human and just walked into the river and died. we left immediately and my grandad was f------ terrified. I haven't been near woods since and he moved to Florida with my grandmother for "safety reasons"

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Anon uses grindr. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)16:31:50 No.25448782 >guy on grindr asks me to "parTy and play" >asks if he hosts or drives >get him to host and get his address >another guy asks the same question >tell him he needs to drive and l'll host and give him the address of the other guy >mfw I rerouted two completely different 7 KB JPG methheads to each other

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femanon loves tormenting her brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/09/22(Wed)01:50:37 No.163608646 >be me >17 yo femanon >5'2" and D cups >older brother is 24 yo turbovirgin >l walk around him in a tank top with no bra and panties when the parents are away >he always tries to hide his boner then leaves the room like if he was having a panic attack >he can't talk about this to anyone because he would be the one coming off as some closeted pervert for saying this s--- drives him crazy I just love tormenting his ass

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Anon meets a coworker | /r/Greentext

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Anon has a polish friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)20:38:43 No.876766853 >be me >5 or 6 years old >My friend with a weird accent invites me over >we're playing around doing dumb kid s--- 106 KB JPG >his mom comes home and starts talking to my friend in a foreign language >only time l've heard a language I didn't understand was from the special ed kids >think my friends mom is retarded >mfw friend starts speaking back to her in mongoloid tongue I seriously thought my friend was the tard whisperer and tried to get him to talk to the window lickers for months after that. He finally caught on and told me he was Polish and his mom didn't know how to speak English. 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon doesn’t stutter | /r/Greentext

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