Anon does anything to get /fit/ | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)11:27:44 No.61518283 A nightcrawler worm has 7 grams of protein Anyone else catch and eat worms for cheap gains? When it rains I can easily catch 30 or so in 30 minutes. Thats 210 grams of protein and only 150 calories 84 KB JPG And no, I'm not some commie soiboy. A soiboy would never have the balls to actually eat worms.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon’s Story | /r/Greentext

Sitting at home, alone in the house, i feel actually kind of peacefull, typing this up. I have already accepted my fate. I was diagnosed with cancer a week ago, and the doctors gave me 2 months to live, and right now i just really want to share the story of how i got 7 KB JPG cancer. So here it is. First, a bit of backstory. >Be me, 14 years old >Freshman year >On second day of school, make a friend who we will call Mike >Mike was a few years older than me >Get really close with mike >At the time, kissless virgin >Terrified with girls >Desperate for a girlfriend >Mike tells me that it's easy to talk to girls >Just don't be nervous and talk to one >lv'e always been too nervous to even approach a grill >One day, he literally pushes me infront a girl i like >"Hey this is anon." >Walks away %3D >I panick, and she kind of giggles >We end up talking >Shes actually kind of nice >Me and female become friends Fastforward 2 years later >Me and female end up dating >Dating for a year and a half >We become known as the Lily and Marshal of my highschool >We do everything together >Mike is having a party at his house >Me and female go >l have a few drinks, but gf has alot more than i do >She gets some cigaretts and starts smoking with some guy >Drunkenly tries to make me smoke too >i try it, but have a coughing fit and don't do it again >She starts to get anoyed that i won't smoke with her >"Whatever" she says and walks off visually frustrated >Kept partying with Mike and make a few new friends. >Later, i can't find gf >Start asking around for her >One girl says she saw her go upstairs with >smoker guy Ohfuckno >Mike sees me run upstairs and follows me >Open a bedroom door and see her with her top off, making out with smokerfag >l'm stunned. Speachless >Mike grabs guy and throws him off the bed >Female starts crying and saying sorry >Runs over and hugs me Not gonna ask if i can continut because im not a Cont?c--- : Anonymous 07/27/15(Mon)23:25:05 No.630890540 Cont pleeease : Anonymous 07/27/15(Mon)23:27:19 No.630890983 >Few days later, feel an urge to smoke >Decide "what's the harm" >l end up having one maybe once a week. >Not 19 yet (legel smoking/drinking age in canada) so i have to bum them off of people >turns out female kept on talking and seeing eachother once in a while behind my back Long story short, female dumps me for smokefag >Start smoking to cope with it > I was in love with female, and i still am >l dont know how to deal this. She was my everything >i get super depressed >cry almost every night for 6 months >contemplate suicide >decide i dont want to live without female >decide to get super drunk and give myself alcohol poisoning. Just kind of, fade away peacefully > ive always told mike everything, but i didnt tell him how hurti was by female. > tell him i want to drink > mike lives alone now, so we do it at his house >get super drunk. I cant really remember any of what happened that night >aparently i passed out and he turned me on my side so i wouldnt choke on my own vomit >Wake up and see him sitting in a chair >start crying uncontrollably >tell mike what i tried to do Mike really helped me deal with all the pain, but my smoking habbit stayed >be me >2 weeks ago > lungs feel strange. Sharp pains when i take deep breaths > go to doctor to get it checked out >take some tests > few days later, i get a call from doctor >nervouse as f--- >turns out im completly fine > suicide attempt was a month ago >Still a little depressed, but not suicidal anymore > mike calls or texts me everyday to makesure in ok >one day, mike texts me a link of a funny picture to try and cheer me up >its a link to a picture on 9gag >9gag opens >get cancer

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Anon tries CS:GO | /r/Greentext

http://boards.4chan.org/v/thread/325995426/make-an- C A R : Anonymous 01/31/16(Sun)23:19:52 No.325997892 >>326017631 File: 1453421252682.jpg (25 KB, 500x363) >buy CS:GO on winter sale to see why its so popular >join some random match >aim is right on the torso of the enemy >bullet somehow hits the upper left of the screen >guy turns around and kills me while jumping >uninstall the game and ask for a refund Anenymous 01/21/16(Sun)22.22:12 No 225009116 235000100 23500 0030

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Anon plays the flute | /r/Greentext

>Sit next to a fat kid in my class >he's constantly falling asleep >start bringing a flute with me to class >when he falls asleep take the flute out >blow it really hard next to his ear >scares the s--- out of him >tell him its a pokeflute and I was using it to wake the Snorlax >other people start calling him Snorlax >blast that flute into his ear every day for nearly a year >walking to school one day there's a crowd gathered at the entrance >the fat kid is up on the roof wearing a Snorlax costume >tears streaming down his face, he spots me in the crowd >"Good luck waking up the Snorlax now, you bastard!" he yelled just before he dove off of the roof >his body slams hard into the pavement below >everybody starts running around and screaming for help >I rush over to his mangled body >I can hear him breathing wet shallow breaths >he's still alive, but just barely >l pull the flute from my bag >put it right next to his ear >blow the loudest most shrill note I could possibly muster >his head snaps up and he stares at me >I can see the burning hatred in his bloodied eyes as he stares at me >call him a Snorlax >his head drops back down to the pavement >he died on the way to the hospital

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Anon needs to take his meds | /r/Greentext

File: template-epic-handshake-3(..).jpg (58 KB, 900x506) O RACIAL FITNESS Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)19:06:16 No.61500637 ► >ASIANS Strength: 1 Speed: 4 Intelligence: 5 Charm: 2 >WHITES Strength: 4 Speed: 2.5 Intelligence: 4 Charm: 2 >BLACKS Strength: 4 Speed: 4.5 Intelligence: 1.5 Charm: 4 >INDIANS Strength: 2 Speed: 2 Intelligence: 4 Charm: 5 >ABOS Strength: 2 Speed: 2 Intelligence: 1 Charm: 3 Sight: 6 Agree or disagree bros? O Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)19:07:24 No.61500652 >>61500637 (OP) You're f------ retarded OP

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Anon is stupid | /r/Greentext

>just figured out island is pronounced "eye-lind" and not "is- land" why the f--- has nobody corrected me for this in the past 23 f------ years? h-------- I feel like a genuine retarded chimpanzee 27 KB PNG

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Anon thinks he‘s special for thinking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I can't be the only one. 05/16/21(Sun)07:23:21 No.63691618 >be me >have constant narrator in my head >always talking, always thinking in words >basically need words to process sensory input from the world >typically think as if I'm having a 42 KB JPG conversation with someone >always thinking about past or future, or some topic or issue >saw youtube video recently that said this can be unhealthy >said it is kind of a coping mechanism >realized most people don't think like I do and instead tune into the world around them >have been trying to change, trying to silence the internal narrator >try to be in moment instead >anyone else know this feel?

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Anon has a laptop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)23:59:36 No.150985924 My friend had a sticker of G---- from Cars on his laptop. He got into cocaine for a few years, and him and his coke buddies would make 28 KB JPG their lines on the G---- sticker, and said "pit stop" after every hit. >>150986141 # >>150986735 # >>150986983 # >>150987709 #

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Anon wonders why liveleak got shut down | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)17:53:09 No.854514283 With Liveleak and Best Gore gone now what are the next best Live Leak alternatives /b/ros? Looking for some uncensored videos of current conflict in Gaza/Palestine/lsrael as well. 19 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)17:53:46 No.854514324 >>854514283 (OP) # isn't it weird how those got shut down right before israel started a new war

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Anon is having acute renal failure. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)17:39:09 No.8490226 Day 6 of urine retention 228 KB JPG

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anon explains the purpose of his gains. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous what is your "end goal", anon?(...) 07/23/20(Thu) 16:32:28 No.56584035 what is the main goal with your /fit/ lifestyle? Is it to stay healthy the rest of your life? To get in shape to find a decent partner? Or are you just fighting off the feeling of depression? 158 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/23/20(Thu) 16:35:13 No.56584062 >>56584035 (OP) # The complete destruction of the state of Israel. >>56584110 # >>56584111 # >>56584120 # >>56584126 # >>56584152 # >>56584169 # >>56584173 # >>56584180 # >>56584366 # >>56584435 # >>56584537 # >>56584569 # >>56584955 # >>56585050 # >>56585190 # >>56585220 # >>56585229 # >>56585303 # >>56585315 # >>56585626 # >>56585751 # >>56585830 # >>56585958 # >>56585978 # >>56585997 # >>56586080 # >>56586146 # >>56586355 # >>56586417 # >>56586477 # >>56586602 # >>56586738 # >>56587656 # >>56587689 # >>56587850 # >>56588158 # >>56588198 # >>56588943 # >>56589062 # >>56589128 # >>56589506 # >>56589533 #

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Anon stands up for the little guy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Womanlet Revenge 10/17/17(Tue)20:20:28 No.40480576 >See constant threads about girls s------- on manlets on /r9k/ >Be 6ft 2in white guy >Be borderline sociopathic, barely have any empathy >Use Tinder and match with only 53 KB PNG really short girls >Exclusively seek out shorter girls (5ft 4in or below) >Talk to them and casually bring about short guys >if any of them talk s--- about manlets or say they're gross, I start pursuing them harder >Ask them out with the promise of sex >Take a small bottle of mustard water and hide it in my jacket >Go to the roastie w----- place >Make out or whatever and then right before we're about to f--- ask to be excused and go to the bathroom >down the mustard water >go back to see her >hold back the vomit >When their clothes come off I immediately start vomiting all over and spray it as much as I can >roastie is horrified >I tell them I find their shortness disgusting and I feel l'd be f------ a child >I leave telling them they shouldnt date tall guys and to stick to manlets I've successfully done this 10 times in the last 6 months. They always end up crying or freaking out and I j------- to that thought when I get home. I'm doing this for you my manlet brothers, its not your fault you didn't have the genetic lottery. F--- those roastie w-----. 73 Replies / 21 Images View Thread

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Canon loves his mom. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/12/20(Sat)16:24:43 No.60012186 >Try to start a Youtube >Post every day >30 days in >Embarrassed about my videos >only viewer is mom >she comments positive things on 10 KB JPG every video Thanks Mom

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