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Sitting at home, alone in the house, i feel actually kind of peacefull, typing this up. I have already accepted my fate. I was diagnosed with cancer a week ago, and the doctors gave me 2 months to live, and right now i just really want to share the story of how i got 7 KB JPG cancer. So here it is. First, a bit of backstory. >Be me, 14 years old >Freshman year >On second day of school, make a friend who we will call Mike >Mike was a few years older than me >Get really close with mike >At the time, kissless virgin >Terrified with girls >Desperate for a girlfriend >Mike tells me that it's easy to talk to girls >Just don't be nervous and talk to one >lv'e always been too nervous to even approach a grill >One day, he literally pushes me infront a girl i like >"Hey this is anon." >Walks away %3D >I panick, and she kind of giggles >We end up talking >Shes actually kind of nice >Me and female become friends Fastforward 2 years later >Me and female end up dating >Dating for a year and a half >We become known as the Lily and Marshal of my highschool >We do everything together >Mike is having a party at his house >Me and female go >l have a few drinks, but gf has alot more than i do >She gets some cigaretts and starts smoking with some guy >Drunkenly tries to make me smoke too >i try it, but have a coughing fit and don't do it again >She starts to get anoyed that i won't smoke with her >"Whatever" she says and walks off visually frustrated >Kept partying with Mike and make a few new friends. >Later, i can't find gf >Start asking around for her >One girl says she saw her go upstairs with >smoker guy Ohfuckno >Mike sees me run upstairs and follows me >Open a bedroom door and see her with her top off, making out with smokerfag >l'm stunned. Speachless >Mike grabs guy and throws him off the bed >Female starts crying and saying sorry >Runs over and hugs me Not gonna ask if i can continut because im not a Cont?c--- : Anonymous 07/27/15(Mon)23:25:05 No.630890540 Cont pleeease : Anonymous 07/27/15(Mon)23:27:19 No.630890983 >Few days later, feel an urge to smoke >Decide "what's the harm" >l end up having one maybe once a week. >Not 19 yet (legel smoking/drinking age in canada) so i have to bum them off of people >turns out female kept on talking and seeing eachother once in a while behind my back Long story short, female dumps me for smokefag >Start smoking to cope with it > I was in love with female, and i still am >l dont know how to deal this. She was my everything >i get super depressed >cry almost every night for 6 months >contemplate suicide >decide i dont want to live without female >decide to get super drunk and give myself alcohol poisoning. Just kind of, fade away peacefully > ive always told mike everything, but i didnt tell him how hurti was by female. > tell him i want to drink > mike lives alone now, so we do it at his house >get super drunk. I cant really remember any of what happened that night >aparently i passed out and he turned me on my side so i wouldnt choke on my own vomit >Wake up and see him sitting in a chair >start crying uncontrollably >tell mike what i tried to do Mike really helped me deal with all the pain, but my smoking habbit stayed >be me >2 weeks ago > lungs feel strange. Sharp pains when i take deep breaths > go to doctor to get it checked out >take some tests > few days later, i get a call from doctor >nervouse as f--- >turns out im completly fine > suicide attempt was a month ago >Still a little depressed, but not suicidal anymore > mike calls or texts me everyday to makesure in ok >one day, mike texts me a link of a funny picture to try and cheer me up >its a link to a picture on 9gag >9gag opens >get cancer

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Anon tries CS:GO | /r/Greentext

http://boards.4chan.org/v/thread/325995426/make-an- C A R : Anonymous 01/31/16(Sun)23:19:52 No.325997892 >>326017631 File: 1453421252682.jpg (25 KB, 500x363) >buy CS:GO on winter sale to see why its so popular >join some random match >aim is right on the torso of the enemy >bullet somehow hits the upper left of the screen >guy turns around and kills me while jumping >uninstall the game and ask for a refund Anenymous 01/21/16(Sun)22.22:12 No 225009116 235000100 23500 0030

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Anon plays the flute | /r/Greentext

>Sit next to a fat kid in my class >he's constantly falling asleep >start bringing a flute with me to class >when he falls asleep take the flute out >blow it really hard next to his ear >scares the s--- out of him >tell him its a pokeflute and I was using it to wake the Snorlax >other people start calling him Snorlax >blast that flute into his ear every day for nearly a year >walking to school one day there's a crowd gathered at the entrance >the fat kid is up on the roof wearing a Snorlax costume >tears streaming down his face, he spots me in the crowd >"Good luck waking up the Snorlax now, you bastard!" he yelled just before he dove off of the roof >his body slams hard into the pavement below >everybody starts running around and screaming for help >I rush over to his mangled body >I can hear him breathing wet shallow breaths >he's still alive, but just barely >l pull the flute from my bag >put it right next to his ear >blow the loudest most shrill note I could possibly muster >his head snaps up and he stares at me >I can see the burning hatred in his bloodied eyes as he stares at me >call him a Snorlax >his head drops back down to the pavement >he died on the way to the hospital

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Anon needs to take his meds | /r/Greentext

File: template-epic-handshake-3(..).jpg (58 KB, 900x506) O RACIAL FITNESS Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)19:06:16 No.61500637 ► >ASIANS Strength: 1 Speed: 4 Intelligence: 5 Charm: 2 >WHITES Strength: 4 Speed: 2.5 Intelligence: 4 Charm: 2 >BLACKS Strength: 4 Speed: 4.5 Intelligence: 1.5 Charm: 4 >INDIANS Strength: 2 Speed: 2 Intelligence: 4 Charm: 5 >ABOS Strength: 2 Speed: 2 Intelligence: 1 Charm: 3 Sight: 6 Agree or disagree bros? O Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)19:07:24 No.61500652 >>61500637 (OP) You're f------ retarded OP

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Anon is stupid | /r/Greentext

>just figured out island is pronounced "eye-lind" and not "is- land" why the f--- has nobody corrected me for this in the past 23 f------ years? h-------- I feel like a genuine retarded chimpanzee 27 KB PNG

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Anon thinks he‘s special for thinking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I can't be the only one. 05/16/21(Sun)07:23:21 No.63691618 >be me >have constant narrator in my head >always talking, always thinking in words >basically need words to process sensory input from the world >typically think as if I'm having a 42 KB JPG conversation with someone >always thinking about past or future, or some topic or issue >saw youtube video recently that said this can be unhealthy >said it is kind of a coping mechanism >realized most people don't think like I do and instead tune into the world around them >have been trying to change, trying to silence the internal narrator >try to be in moment instead >anyone else know this feel?

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Anon has a laptop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)23:59:36 No.150985924 My friend had a sticker of G---- from Cars on his laptop. He got into cocaine for a few years, and him and his coke buddies would make 28 KB JPG their lines on the G---- sticker, and said "pit stop" after every hit. >>150986141 # >>150986735 # >>150986983 # >>150987709 #

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Anon wonders why liveleak got shut down | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)17:53:09 No.854514283 With Liveleak and Best Gore gone now what are the next best Live Leak alternatives /b/ros? Looking for some uncensored videos of current conflict in Gaza/Palestine/lsrael as well. 19 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)17:53:46 No.854514324 >>854514283 (OP) # isn't it weird how those got shut down right before israel started a new war

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Anon is having acute renal failure. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)17:39:09 No.8490226 Day 6 of urine retention 228 KB JPG

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anon explains the purpose of his gains. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous what is your "end goal", anon?(...) 07/23/20(Thu) 16:32:28 No.56584035 what is the main goal with your /fit/ lifestyle? Is it to stay healthy the rest of your life? To get in shape to find a decent partner? Or are you just fighting off the feeling of depression? 158 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/23/20(Thu) 16:35:13 No.56584062 >>56584035 (OP) # The complete destruction of the state of Israel. >>56584110 # >>56584111 # >>56584120 # >>56584126 # >>56584152 # >>56584169 # >>56584173 # >>56584180 # >>56584366 # >>56584435 # >>56584537 # >>56584569 # >>56584955 # >>56585050 # >>56585190 # >>56585220 # >>56585229 # >>56585303 # >>56585315 # >>56585626 # >>56585751 # >>56585830 # >>56585958 # >>56585978 # >>56585997 # >>56586080 # >>56586146 # >>56586355 # >>56586417 # >>56586477 # >>56586602 # >>56586738 # >>56587656 # >>56587689 # >>56587850 # >>56588158 # >>56588198 # >>56588943 # >>56589062 # >>56589128 # >>56589506 # >>56589533 #

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Anon stands up for the little guy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Womanlet Revenge 10/17/17(Tue)20:20:28 No.40480576 >See constant threads about girls s------- on manlets on /r9k/ >Be 6ft 2in white guy >Be borderline sociopathic, barely have any empathy >Use Tinder and match with only 53 KB PNG really short girls >Exclusively seek out shorter girls (5ft 4in or below) >Talk to them and casually bring about short guys >if any of them talk s--- about manlets or say they're gross, I start pursuing them harder >Ask them out with the promise of sex >Take a small bottle of mustard water and hide it in my jacket >Go to the roastie w----- place >Make out or whatever and then right before we're about to f--- ask to be excused and go to the bathroom >down the mustard water >go back to see her >hold back the vomit >When their clothes come off I immediately start vomiting all over and spray it as much as I can >roastie is horrified >I tell them I find their shortness disgusting and I feel l'd be f------ a child >I leave telling them they shouldnt date tall guys and to stick to manlets I've successfully done this 10 times in the last 6 months. They always end up crying or freaking out and I j------- to that thought when I get home. I'm doing this for you my manlet brothers, its not your fault you didn't have the genetic lottery. F--- those roastie w-----. 73 Replies / 21 Images View Thread

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Canon loves his mom. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/12/20(Sat)16:24:43 No.60012186 >Try to start a Youtube >Post every day >30 days in >Embarrassed about my videos >only viewer is mom >she comments positive things on 10 KB JPG every video Thanks Mom

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Anon is a hacker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)00:37:59 No.854528611 >be measly russian hacker >breach weak security of United States gasoline pipeline >demand $5million in bitcoins >angry old man screams to me "you lying pony dog" >continues to babble nonsense 101 KB JPG about Cornpops cereal and amtrak trains >i hang up on the old fool. perhaps him ill. >pipeline company calls back and apologize >sending bitcoin right over

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Greentext Stories - Anon’s Story | /r/Greentext

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Sitting at home, alone in the house, i feel actually kind of peacefull, typing this up. I have already accepted my fate. I was diagnosed with cancer a week ago, and the doctors gave me 2 months to live, and right now i just really want to share the story of how i got 7 KB JPG cancer. So here it is. First, a bit of backstory. >Be me, 14 years old >Freshman year >On second day of school, make a friend who we will call Mike >Mike was a few years older than me >Get really close with mike >At the time, kissless virgin >Terrified with girls >Desperate for a girlfriend >Mike tells me that it's easy to talk to girls >Just don't be nervous and talk to one >lv'e always been too nervous to even approach a grill >One day, he literally pushes me infront a girl i like >"Hey this is anon." >Walks away %3D >I panick, and she kind of giggles >We end up talking >Shes actually kind of nice >Me and female become friends Fastforward 2 years later >Me and female end up dating >Dating for a year and a half >We become known as the Lily and Marshal of my highschool >We do everything together >Mike is having a party at his house >Me and female go >l have a few drinks, but gf has alot more than i do >She gets some cigaretts and starts smoking with some guy >Drunkenly tries to make me smoke too >i try it, but have a coughing fit and don't do it again >She starts to get anoyed that i won't smoke with her >"Whatever" she says and walks off visually frustrated >Kept partying with Mike and make a few new friends. >Later, i can't find gf >Start asking around for her >One girl says she saw her go upstairs with >smoker guy Ohfuckno >Mike sees me run upstairs and follows me >Open a bedroom door and see her with her top off, making out with smokerfag >l'm stunned. Speachless >Mike grabs guy and throws him off the bed >Female starts crying and saying sorry >Runs over and hugs me Not gonna ask if i can continut because im not a Cont?c--- : Anonymous 07/27/15(Mon)23:25:05 No.630890540 Cont pleeease : Anonymous 07/27/15(Mon)23:27:19 No.630890983 >Few days later, feel an urge to smoke >Decide "what's the harm" >l end up having one maybe once a week. >Not 19 yet (legel smoking/drinking age in canada) so i have to bum them off of people >turns out female kept on talking and seeing eachother once in a while behind my back Long story short, female dumps me for smokefag >Start smoking to cope with it > I was in love with female, and i still am >l dont know how to deal this. She was my everything >i get super depressed >cry almost every night for 6 months >contemplate suicide >decide i dont want to live without female >decide to get super drunk and give myself alcohol poisoning. Just kind of, fade away peacefully > ive always told mike everything, but i didnt tell him how hurti was by female. > tell him i want to drink > mike lives alone now, so we do it at his house >get super drunk. I cant really remember any of what happened that night >aparently i passed out and he turned me on my side so i wouldnt choke on my own vomit >Wake up and see him sitting in a chair >start crying uncontrollably >tell mike what i tried to do Mike really helped me deal with all the pain, but my smoking habbit stayed >be me >2 weeks ago > lungs feel strange. Sharp pains when i take deep breaths > go to doctor to get it checked out >take some tests > few days later, i get a call from doctor >nervouse as f--- >turns out im completly fine > suicide attempt was a month ago >Still a little depressed, but not suicidal anymore > mike calls or texts me everyday to makesure in ok >one day, mike texts me a link of a funny picture to try and cheer me up >its a link to a picture on 9gag >9gag opens >get cancer

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