One fire fights one fire, one nail one nail.

THE VIRGIN BOBBY MUGABE THE CHAD IAN SMITH Spoiled brat pampered by Turned a bunch of safari Was handed a turnkey country, Hardworking son of a humble farmer Jesuit missionaries grounds and patches of turned it into hell on earth in less farmland into an than a decade agrarian powerhouse of a country Became a commie because a Fighter pilot in WWII, was shot down and evaded capture bunch of Jews told him it was Genocided a rival tribe Exported food to all of Africa and beyond cool immediately upon assuming power Fierce believer in meritocracy Fought against "colonialism" by abducting children, r----- nuns and burning farms Mercifully cancelled the order to assassinate Mugabe with minutes lived to regret it A literal ape in a suit to spare, Saw communism for the threat it was, resolved to Family goes on shopping sprees worldwide while citizenry Led the opposition to Mugabe's rule despite constant threat of getting murdered fight it to the end Hasn't won a single fight against the Rhodesian army despite both Soviets and Chinese backing him subsists on rats and tree bark Unilaterally declared inde- pendence upon realizing Britain had betrayed him Lived to see everything he had fought for get destroyed, took it stoically Blames all of his shortcomings Habitually exterminated black villages if they refused to support him on a handful of White farmers Fully vindicated by history; all of his predictions came true Sanctioned, embargoed, unrecog- Caused more misery and death than even the most cartoonishly brutal Seized lan Smith's home farm out of petty envy nized and vilified by the entire world, yet still managed to keep the country thriving Respected even by bitter enemies oppressors could ever hope to Still clings to life despite being universally hated and despised Fifteen years of non-stop war- Mourned and beloved to this day, fare with improvised, obsolete and trophy weapons, not a single battle lost considered to be one of the few Unironically considers himself a freedom fighter honest politicians

zimbabwe rhodesia ian smith robert mugabe communism democracy africa history rhodesian bush war meritocracy famine

Notes:

I've been studying modern African history lately, and I am just utterly shocked at the hand that was dealt to Rhodesia.

I'm not sure if the sources I have been reading have been overly biased in their favour, but even stripping away the emotional connections, we are left with the following situation.

An old colony knew it could not provide a stable majority rule within the two-year deadline that Britain demanded of them. Because of this, they decided to declare independence so that this could be carried out at a slower pace so that there would be competent leaders in office, since there was a lack of black Rhodesians who were educated in the ways of politics and statesmanship at the time.

This caused the western powers to get pissy at the Rhodesians and they were embargoed by the UN because of this, with the only imports being snuck in by Mozambique and South Africa. Whilst this was happening, the USSR and China decided to strike and trained communist militias (ZANU and ZAPU) to lead an armed invasion and occupation of the country.

The vast majority of ZANU and ZAPU forces were not even Rhodesians themselves, but native to neighbouring Zimbabwe and Mozambique. Although most footage of the RLI shows the soldiers being predominantly white, there was also a large proportion of the black population who were loyal to Ian Smith's government and fought back against these foreign invaders.

It was only when Mozambique and South Africa were forced to stop trading with Rhodesia that they finally had to accept defeat, ending up with the occupation and assimilation of Rhodesia into Zimbabwe. From this point on, most people who are even vaguely aware of international history and politics will know that Mugabe's government ruled so badly that they made Mao's Great Leap Forward look like a minor failure.

It's just such a bloody tragedy, you know. If Rhodesia was allowed to carry out it's plans for slow and proper integration of majority rule, just think of how many famines could have been averted and how the entire region could have prospered economically and politically from this.

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