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The Chad Stairs The Virgin Elevator Great exercise Allows Chads to travel quickly by traversing multiple steps at a time For people too lazy to use stairs or disabled that's okay HIGHER Thighs of steel Anyone can go at their own pace Wastes a lot of time waiting for the elevator to arrive Could get stuck, traumatizing Virgins Vulnerable to fire, Have to rely on the Chad Staircase during emergencies 00 Have to share the small mashing the button won't make it go any faster, Virgin space with other lazy people Good luck social distancing Chad sometimes jumps down the entire staircase The THAD Escalator Dont even need to move to get where you are going The LADder Easily tipped over Combines the powers of the elevator and the staircase At least you're exercising your arms, I think Walk up or down to achievė superspeed Lad will hit his bulge on every rung Exists here solely for the pun Even taller steps than the Chad Staircase poor Lad, what did he do to deserve this Doubles as a treadmill wait, don't answer that Will snap under the weight of Lad's body Annihilates high-heeled thots The GAD Ubiquitous Existence isn't he supposed to be a planet? oh well The DAD Assumes this form just so that he can ascend Rockets allow him to effortlessly scale the walls of army bases, and blow up any opposition Rocket Jump Does not need to ascend, as he has already ascended to godhood Steals munitions Expends millions of dollars worth of explosives daily from the military No need for movement at all, Gad exists everywhere at all times Dismembers anyone nearby MUNITIONS double-barreled chin SLAP CLAP THEM CHEEKS Is responsible for the concept of verticality; without Gad, existence would be a Watches down from Cheaven Rocket primes itself early, out of fear of offending Dad at his children as they strive to ascend, as he has 2-dimensional plane Harm@7 Only method of getting to higher floors before Abrachad Lincoln invented stairs Harm07 Technically achieved by shooting himself lol

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Virgin vs. Chad: Methods of Ascension


Created by Harm Horizon Aug 16, 2020 at 10:44PM EDT

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA
Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all
Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon
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Uploaded Aug 16, 2020 at 10:44PM EDT

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Virgin vs. Chad

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virgin vs. chad, virgin vs chad, virgin, chad, thad, lad, dad, gad, harm07, virginvschad

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