Anon loves his dad | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous Wholesome stories 34 KB JPG on after each other 05/06/24(Mon)15:51:17 No.917980853 >get Spotify premium free trial >tell myself I'll cancel it before it ends >make a giant playlist, mostly metal with some other stuff that's nostalgic/personal to me >like to put it on shuffle and have completely different songs come >keep waiting for a notification saying free trial is ending soon >months go by without an ad or a charge >don't question it >one day my dad mentions in passing that he paid for my account >mfw Love you, dad Anonymous 05/06/24(Mon)15:53:15 No.917980938 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4 OydNCP8ZRA8KWf2e1X30Q?si=y40w9-ZARR qQ5CfjgPbrjg&pi=u-ds3yStycTUUX Here's the playlist btw

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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When you put it like that... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/23(Sat) 18:10:06 No.661574817 >Is that an unborn chick that came out of a hen's assvagina?? >mmmmm yummy! Why are carnivores like this? 43 KB JPG

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Anon died shortly after posting this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/05/24(Fri)15:18:47 No.4765593 20230627_074431.jpg 2.48 MB JPG >Come across smol newt >Take pic rel >Touch it. It runs away. Hehehe funny. >Later look up its Red spotted newt, but also it releases deadly neurotoxin. Am i gonna die /an/ons?

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Anon hires an escort | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/03/24(Fri)07:04:28 No.77357026 1713474710099135.jpg 83 KB JPG >made the escort so uncomfortable she gave me my money back and left where do I go from here bros

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How scat fetishes begin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/06/24(Mon)12:02:28 No.917971337 >bird flies over me >as usual, it doesn't poop on me Why don't birds poop on me? 100 KB JPG

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Anon has a drinking problem | /r/Greentext

1/23 HwX81+XX (OP) · US . 1h (05/06/24 19:22) 467246161 - 96 Re 7 Img JPG 4KB (210 × 170) images (2).jpg 12 Replies How the f--- is this fair? >be me >sad black pilled alcoholic f-- >get black out drunk and have and episode like a retard >sister and gf are there >talk about how much I hate myself and the f----- up world like a whiney drunk loser >I want to die >I can't keep this up anymore >sister understandably is freaking out >she decides to call the crisis line Keep in mind I was blackout drunk and don't remember any of this nor do I remember any of my actions. This is just what was all explained to me recently by my sister and gf. >sister requests a crisis specialist to come talk to me and get me help Not what what I get. >police and an ambulance arrive >get forcibly restrained into the back of an ambulance to get involuntarily committed >blackout me apparently decided to freak out and struggle a bunch >I spit on someone once restrained in the back of the weewoo mobile. >wake up at hospital >confused at first >hospital staff explains why I'm here >immediate shame and anger with myself >get discharged and picked up by gf. >I've had it this time >I need to quit >it's gotten too bad >months pass >zero alcohol >making goals >actually feeling happy with myself >decides to hang out with friend one night >let's go hang out at the pond by the ritzy neighborhood >mix a bit of kratom extract up in a soda and leave I don't suggest kratom for getting over alcohol to everyone but it helped me and isn't bad for use every once in awhile. >sit at pond close to 30 mins talking the night away >spot light flashing down the road >we got a cop coming >acting normal because we're not doing anything wrong >parks car adjacent from us and walks over >hey fellas whatcha got going on tonight? >smile and greet him politely >just enjoying a nice night sitting by the pond officer >anything we can help you with? >officer proceeds to explain recent break ins going on in the neighborhood and us looking suspicious

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Anon saves friendships on discord | /r/Greentext

127 KB JPG alright I'm gonna tell you how I saved a discord server and multiple friendships >Be me last year >Active on discord, kinda moderating a server with some IRL friends and Internet friends >Drama all over, fights everyday, people threatening to end friendships >Me n one of my buds constantly try and stop the hate but things go wrong every time >Have brilliant idea one day >Message everyone, tell them that I want things to be better both irl and on the server, so we're going to do a cook off >Ffw to cook-off day, we all hop in VC for internet friends, irl's meet up >New channel opened for pics and food progress >Some spend hours on end cooking but we end up making tons of good food, pics of tri-tip, wild caught salmon, catfish, glazed hams, grilled cheese, quesadillas and other foods fill the server and the irl friends feast on a good ass meal while setting differences aside >Discord server gets weird obsession with food but oddly enough the drama is gone and friendships are regained I really wish I could explain the feeling of this phenomenon better, the combination of being chronically online but with real world involvement too. Anyways food is good and I'm morbidly obese

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Anon is John Skyrim | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 77 KB PNG 01/23/24(Tue)14:01:19 No.664710597 >race: human >gender: male >class: warrior >appearance: default >name: alex >graphics settings: default >cutscenes: skipped >dialogue: skipped >side quests: ignored yep, it's time to escape into a magical fantasy RPG!

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Anon has traumas | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 585 KB PNG >Be me 05/06/24(Mon) 11:39:09 No.77395706 >Ungodly amount of lifetime trauma >Usually mistaken for 25-29 based on the way I act/view things >Am 20 >Every time I open up to someone they end up asking me to close back up because it's just too much >Happened again tonight >The other day I went to a meet up with a bunch of similarly aged people >I couldn't relate to them at all >Having to come to terms with the fact that my innocence was stolen from me and that there is nothing I can do to get it back I f------ hate it so f------ much. I just want to be normal, I'm good with people but I have to be so superficial about everything because any time I talk about anything real people just dissappear.

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Anon falls in love | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 139 KB JPG 05/06/24(Mon)08:00:06 No.77394547 >Talking to girl >She oozes this female, positive, warm, and caring attitude >She's wasn't vapid nor superficial, but empathic and encouraging F---, this feels so nice and refreshing. I immediately felt the instict to protect her and care for her. Femoids, take note. This is what we want.

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Anon meets gypsies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/06/24(Mon) 12:41:53 No.77396373 b57.jpg 42 KB JPG >Gypsy neighbors move in >They start dumping their trash right next to our apartment complex every f------ week >Everyone who lives in the apartment complex has to pay extra rent so it gets removed >Gypsy children toys and trash everywhere right in front of our door and in the stairwell >They also got no job but still drive an expensive car I'm not racist, but I genuinely f------ hate gypsies and think they should be enslaved. Despicable f------ subhumans, thinking of slashing their tires or something like that to get back at them.

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ANON IS DEAD!!!! WHAAATTT!! WHOLY SHIT!!!! | /r/Greentext

COAN >be me >text is green >that mean be funy > not be funy insted > monster come from closet >kill me >rest in peace me.....

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Old McAnon had a farm, Retard Retard Retard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: xmUC9VQO) 05/11/23(Thu)23:38:29 No.426676999 >lives in a pod >eats the bugs >owns nothing >is happy OIP (2).jpg 31 KB JPG >gives you free eggs, milk and meat in return Why don't you have a pack of chickens /pol/? Anonymous (ID: h3gFRfIM)+ 05/11/23(Thu)23:39:46 No.426677125 >>426676999 (OP) # >chicken >gives you free milk What? >>426678263 # >>426678862 # >>426679213 # >>426679219 # >>426681818 # >>426682771 # >>426683255 # >>426683599 # >>426683604 # >>426684036 # >>426684927 # >>426685099 #

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