Anon is bulking | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 256 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed)21:03:15 No.74022721 >Be me >Wake up >12pm >Order a Caines Chicken Sandwich meal along with a Craniac Combo >Get a Coke & Hi-C juice respectively >Dont forget my 4 extra Caine Sauce cups either wagie! >Eat myself into a food coma >Wake up 15 minutes ago >Go to BK and order a large whopper meal Right now I'm just thinking about what to get for a midnight snack after I finish chowing down on this whopper. How's your bulk session going anons?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Your gigachad flag, sir | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/24(Thu)04:55:46 No.195895483 ΝΙ Flag_of_Hawaii.svg.png 5 KB PNG >be Hawaiians >1779 >some British chuds try to take your land in the name of King Norf the 12th >captain of this pack of chuds kidnaps the tribal cheif of the Hawaii island >you kill the head chud and the rest run back to dildo island >not even 30 years later in 1801 >put the flag of your attempted colonizers on your own flag why must they be like that?

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Rags to Bootleg Riches | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 04/10/24(Wed)19:02:10 No. 77091211 2.81 MB PNG >Be me >On the bus >Someone I recognise comes on at the stop on s----- housing estate >He's my ex high school bully >He recognises me >Starts trying to talk to me while i'm busy doing my work >He brags about the obviously fake Gucci that hes wearing >Flexes his flagship phone on me (I have the same one) >Shows me a pic of his 2005 BMW 520D (Rich) >"So anon, hows your life been?" >"My life has been fine, thanks" The best part about this story is that I am the bus driver. Even Better; He got off at the stop closest to the job center.

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Anon loses his job because of her/she | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 210 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed)16:15:04 No.77085715 >company hires a trans to get more investment >"she" wants everyone call "her" "she" >feel uncomfortable as f--- but can't risk losing my job >keep refering to "her" by the name to avoid the pronoun bs >"anon your attitude is toxic and you don't meet our expectation in our workplace enviroment" >lose my job because I f------ don't use "her" pronoun I'm switching side now. Where can I apply for Kool Kidz Klub?

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Anon loves Heath Ledger's Joker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 204 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed) 05:57:15 No. 198105170 This is the superior Jokah >actually evil >is tall and well built >intimidating, doesnt fear anyone >a terrorist who wants to blow up the city for the lulz but also to prove a point >has no "sad origin story" he is probably an army vet who went crazy because he saw f----- up s--- >has no soft spot for anyone, knows women are a waste of time If anything, this was more of an incel Jokah because Joaquin's now has a gf : Anonymous 04/10/24(Wed) 05:58:52 No.198105204 Jack is the best Joker. : Anonymous >>198105170 (OP) # 04/10/24(Wed) 05:59:40 No.198105224 He also killed mostly criminals instead of random civilians. He was a net positive for the people of Gotham. >>198108659 # >>198109915 # : Anonymous 04/10/24(Wed)06:03:44 No. 198105314 Romero>Ledger-Nicholson>Joaquín>Leto

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anon is regarded | /r/Greentext

R: 0 has anyone else plugged in a phone charger and put it in their butt and pretended they were a robot charging up or am i retarded

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Anon is good at fingering | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB PNG 04/10/24(Wed)14:28:20 No.77083573 >be me >autistic retard >be obsessed with rhythm games for most of my life (mainly guitar hero) >start playing pc clone of guitar hero that allows custom songs (clone hero) >play a s--- ton >eventually become pretty good at the game >learn about techniques to hit certain patterns >start getting a small following for my guitar hero skills >ffw a few weeks ago >get first gf >still playing clone hero, just not as competitively >one day, get frisky with gf >she wants me to finger her >oksurewhatever >start rubbing according to what she tells me >she tells me"flicking my clit feels pretty nice you should do that anon" >start doing what she told me >autism kicks in >"hey the clit kinda remings me of the strum bar of a guitar hero controller >start rake strumming for s---- and giggles (using 2 fingers to register 2 imputs in one single movement) >mfw she loves it >she wants me to do it every day now what do i do now bros, she keeps questioning if i really had O experience with p---- and i'm too much of a wuss to admit that i learned it from guitar hero. f--- you guitar hero.

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Anon doesn’t understand cigarettes | /r/Greentext

27 KB JPG >That's it? >Be me >Be 18 >Try smoking for the first time >Start coughing like crazy >Get intensely dizzy, unable to walk, stand or even talk properly >Continues for a straight minute or 2 >Ended up throwing the pack away How the f--- are people addicted to this?

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anon gets horny at dentist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 71 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed)05:50:14 No.31038805 >At Dentist >Staring up at the ceiling, spacing out >Mind starts to wander >Start thinking about sex stuff >Get Horny >Sensually lick Dentist's finger while she's probing in my mouth It was an accident, I just did it automatically. She acted like it didn't happen but there's no way she didn't notice as I did it really intensely. Am I going to get in some kind of trouble for this?

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Anon made an arrangement | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/10/24(Wed)14:35:39 No.77083993 Arrangement 74 KB JPG I have no idea where else to post this. I have an arrangement with a severely traumatized girl (she was abused by her parents in early childhood, ended up in foster care, you get the idea). I pay her to allow me to just watch her for hours. I usually watch her sitting and staring at a blank wall, crying, or curled up in bed. I find this extremely enjoyable. I love the dead look in her eyes. Idk why I am like this.

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/v/ finds out Dora the Explorer VA in FF7 Rebirth | /r/Greentext

ST Diametrumpymonkey: GODOT Master542: Now he's Lost his d. Dora the Explorer Defeated Sephiroth BlameGrumpyMonkey: achumasters #2 hanah David Mzengi: Aw man Looks like you ve already defeated him and beat the game. Did Mzengi Beaten *alam rumpyMonkey RonnieBoss so where would place the figure of Sephiroth? after placing it together 食 sephiroth antymonkey twice defeated kachuMaster542 Bronnieboss Probably with Kathleen's Dora Shelf with Princess Dora, Dora the Explorer Lunchbox & Her Dora Plushies 14:15 OG voice of Dora unboxes FF7R collectors edition!! Kathleen Herles 68K views • 4 weeks ago #1, No. 672257413 April 3 final_fantasy_7_rebirth_dora PNG 576x487 394.6 kB 14:15 OG voice of Dora unboxes FF7R collectors edition!! Kathleen Herles 68K views 4 weeks ago These days, we see a lot of VA's playing their own games on stream and providing commentary and stuff. Which person + game let's play do you want to see? 15 replies #2, No. 672257434 April 3 >>672257413 (OP) who did she voice? 3 replies #3, No. 672260990 April 3 >>672257434 Sephiroth 1 reply #4, No. 672263092 April 3 >>672260990 >Hola Cloud! I need you to bring me the Black Materia. >But oh no! Where IS the Black Materia? >Can YOU see the Black Materia? >That's right! You've spotted the Black Materia! Now Cloud can bring it to me! >Can YOU help Cloud bring it to me? >Everyone get up and shout "Good puppy, Cloud!" >That's it! Keep shouting! He's almost here! >You did it! Good puppy, Cloud! >Wait. Who is that? >OH NO. It's Materia Hunter Yuffie! She must be after the Black Materia! >"Hee he hee, I'm gonna swipe ALL the Materia!" >Quick, everyone repeat after me! >YUFFIE NO MUGGING. YUFFIE NO MUGGING. YUFFIE NO MUGGING >"Awww dachau beans" >We did it! We stopped Materia Hunter Yuffie! >Now we can use the Black Materia to summon Meteor and inflict a wound upon the planet that will cause the lifestream to coalesce on one location where I shall ascend to godhood and use the hollowed out husk of Gaia as an interstellar uber so my mother and I can start the cycle of reunion anew on other worlds! Muchos Gracias! 18 replies

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Anon has his day | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 62 KB JPG been with since me >feel miserable 04/08/24(Mon)20:12:28 No.77065393 >have gf >together for 3 years >eachothers first everything >she ends up cheating on me with her coworker >devastated >4 months go by >sometimes hear things from my friends about how many guys she's >one day speaking with friend >Oh by the way did you hear what happened to your ex?" >..."what is it?" >thinking she's gotten into a relationship with a rich doctor or something >"Well she was in a car with a guy and the guy somehow lost control of the car, crashed and now she's in a coma. The doctors say it's not looking good she might not walk again if she wakes up at all. And if she's does it's almost guaranteed she has brain damage" >have to hide my smile and glee so I don't look like a psychopath >finally able to move on You know what? Sometimes life is alright

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Anon learns the valuable lesson that he should avoid goths | /r/Greentext

732 KB JPG >Be me 28 year old kissless hugless virgin >Cant get women in america decide to go to europe > Go to spain > decide to get s-------- > Go to club > See 9.5/10 Big t---- Goth > Say f--- it and pretend to be a chad >mfw it actually works > wing the whole situation >actually f--- and she ask to meet again same night to keep f------ > s--- at sex but lied and said i havent f----- in 9 months >fast foward america > wake up burning piss, weird cough, pimples on d--- > Go to the er > MonkeyPox, gonorrhea, herpes >i regret losing my virginity to that woman

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