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Anonymous 62 KB JPG been with since me >feel miserable 04/08/24(Mon)20:12:28 No.77065393 >have gf >together for 3 years >eachothers first everything >she ends up cheating on me with her coworker >devastated >4 months go by >sometimes hear things from my friends about how many guys she's >one day speaking with friend >Oh by the way did you hear what happened to your ex?" >..."what is it?" >thinking she's gotten into a relationship with a rich doctor or something >"Well she was in a car with a guy and the guy somehow lost control of the car, crashed and now she's in a coma. The doctors say it's not looking good she might not walk again if she wakes up at all. And if she's does it's almost guaranteed she has brain damage" >have to hide my smile and glee so I don't look like a psychopath >finally able to move on You know what? Sometimes life is alright

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Anon learns the valuable lesson that he should avoid goths | /r/Greentext

732 KB JPG >Be me 28 year old kissless hugless virgin >Cant get women in america decide to go to europe > Go to spain > decide to get s-------- > Go to club > See 9.5/10 Big t---- Goth > Say f--- it and pretend to be a chad >mfw it actually works > wing the whole situation >actually f--- and she ask to meet again same night to keep f------ > s--- at sex but lied and said i havent f----- in 9 months >fast foward america > wake up burning piss, weird cough, pimples on d--- > Go to the er > MonkeyPox, gonorrhea, herpes >i regret losing my virginity to that woman

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The dementia crocodile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 184 KB PNG 04/10/24(Wed)18:35:50 No.916663495 >be me, 25, visiting grandpa >grandpa has dementia, things have been tough >he starts talking about seeing a crocodile in the house >at first, think he's joking >realize he's serious, sees it everywhere >in the kitchen? Croc making a sandwich >in the living room? Croc watching TV >even says there's one in the bathtub, calls it Gerald >decide to go along with it, make the best of the situation >start asking grandpa about Gerald's day >grandpa lights up, tells wild stories about crocodile adventures >we go on "croc hunts" around the house, armed with brooms >grandpa hasn't been this animated in months >realize it doesn't matter if it's real, it's real to him >every visit, ask about Gerald >grandpa's stories get more elaborate, now Gerald has a family >turns into our thing, bonding over imaginary crocodile shenanigans >learn to find joy in the situation, grandpa's happy, I'm happy >thankful for Gerald, the dementia crocodile, for bringing us closer

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Anon is malicious | /r/Greentext

How about a /devilish/thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser >over the line >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. Who is the loser now?

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Anon's Rabbit Invasion | /r/Greentext

File: 360 F 212120183_R6153nA1d(...).jpg (41 KB, 540x360) Interrupted by Family Rabbit just wanna sleep 04/10/24(Wed)05:16:01 No.4769518 ► >Took time off from school to recover from surgery at parents' house >Woken up by post surgery pains >It's 5:14 in the morning >Sister has pet albino rabbit >Little f----- comes into my room >S---- everywhere >Refuses to elaborate >HE'S NOT LEAVING >HE KEEPS TRYING TO JUMP INTO MY BED >HELP

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Anon imagines an incel infested apocalyptic wasteland | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: b312/Uw+) >>464371836 (OP) # 04/09/24(Tue)03:37:05 No.464385340 >i want puuuuuuussssyyyyyy >it echoed through the ruins of what was once new york city >behind a rainbow painted concrete slap a lone and scared roasty dreams of chad >her sagging post-wall skin blending in with the bullet riddled brick walls >quiet now! a wild incel appears out of the rubble of a former bodega, his penis swirling like a radar telescope >sniff sniff rõõŏstbēēēf it growled from underneath a cape made from chad's skin >gulp! don't make a sound now! >the roasty's hand was feverishly searching for a rock, a projectile, an improvised weapon, anything! >*sniff sniff⭑* >her faded tattoos of wine bottles and cats seemed to turn the most ghostly hue of blue as the incel slowly turned his head, his sex starved gaze meeting her ancient eye sockets >*pre c-- dribbles*

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Cant argue with that | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RrTJTO17) M Animal Crossing SPECIES 3AB 1/35 2.86% 730 KB JPG VILLAGER 1/805 0.12% 04/10/24(Wed)10:47:14 No. 19993591 >at bar with my friends >some stacey, who isn't my friend, says to me "Talk to me when you've had sex before" I reply "Talk to me when you've IV'd fentanyl >kicked out of le bar and banned for 6 weeks. w--?, last time I checked, IV fentanyl didn't kill 6 million jews, having sex did. (sexual reproduction is what created Hitler, as well as all the jews who died).

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le 4chin straight male | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Not gay That was funny I'm laughing 138 KB GIF 12/21/21(Tue)13:02:24 No.21583990 He c--- deep into my sissy swede guts, breeding my booty hole then he cuddles me with his strong masculine German arms until I fall asleep on his chest. Any other straight guys

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Anon has a moneyhack | /r/Greentext

54 KB JPG >take out as much credit card debt as I can >buy as much crypto as I possibly can >hide keys in a secure location >commit crime >go to prison for several years, getting free housing and food while your investment appreciates in value >get out of prison and have a crypto fortune waiting for you >??? >profit Thoughts?

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Anon listens to the radio | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)13:17:38 No. 109596398 >*vinyl scratch sound* >YOU'RE NOW LISTENING TO >*car crash sound* >102.3 >*elephant sound* >REAL ROCK FM 64 KB JPG >*explosion* >WHERE WE PLAY NOTHIN BUT ROCK, ROCK, AND MORE ROCK >*glass shattering sound* >*police siren* >THIS AIN'T YOUR GRANNY'S STATION >*imagine dragons - radioactive starts playing* /r/coolgreentexts

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Anon gets caught | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB JPG >be me 04/10/24(Wed)06:58:10 No.77082810 >14 year old >need medication for something but I forget what it is now >take the medication every day, it makes me incredibly loopy, and horny (uncommon side effect) needing to masturbate at least twice a day while on it >go to school after school break ends >going good >horny at lunch >it's unbearable >go to the girls toilet to masturbate >finish >ended up in the boys toilet while forgetting to lock the door, meaning it swung open >had an audience >left that school I'm 19 now and still curl up under my bedsheets thinking about it, and apparently this is the board where you do green texts

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Anon thinks communism is the way | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 17 KB PNG a group of friends 04/10/24(Wed)07:38:49 No.77083053 As someone whose ancestors lived in a ethnically homogenous communist state I have to say consider this doe.. >You can trust people more because there is no way to get a career and chasing money doesn't make sense because there is nothing to buy >Luck is determined by family and having >Genetic equals of different classes will have an almost non existent economic gap, no artificial increase of status, no trust fund privilege >Since everything is so cheap you can live way more easy as an artist (as long as you don't criticize the system) >People are less materialistic and don't define their self worth by brands It's like the burden of our lives is already solved, you don't have to think about surviving. I agree that everyone is equally poor though and I don't think communism is a viable alternative. But these pros are something to think about.

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Anon buys a gigan toy | /r/Greentext

20240409_160004.jpg 525 KB JPG >be me >having really s--- day >go to mall because bored >broke >see a toy of gigan (pic related) >gigan is my favorite godzilla monster >spend my last $40 on him >day better thanks gigan

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Greentext Stories - Anon has his day | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 62 KB JPG been with since me >feel miserable 04/08/24(Mon)20:12:28 No.77065393 >have gf >together for 3 years >eachothers first everything >she ends up cheating on me with her coworker >devastated >4 months go by >sometimes hear things from my friends about how many guys she's >one day speaking with friend >Oh by the way did you hear what happened to your ex?" >..."what is it?" >thinking she's gotten into a relationship with a rich doctor or something >"Well she was in a car with a guy and the guy somehow lost control of the car, crashed and now she's in a coma. The doctors say it's not looking good she might not walk again if she wakes up at all. And if she's does it's almost guaranteed she has brain damage" >have to hide my smile and glee so I don't look like a psychopath >finally able to move on You know what? Sometimes life is alright

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