Anon is good at fingering | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 31 KB PNG 04/10/24(Wed)14:28:20 No.77083573 >be me >autistic retard >be obsessed with rhythm games for most of my life (mainly guitar hero) >start playing pc clone of guitar hero that allows custom songs (clone hero) >play a s--- ton >eventually become pretty good at the game >learn about techniques to hit certain patterns >start getting a small following for my guitar hero skills >ffw a few weeks ago >get first gf >still playing clone hero, just not as competitively >one day, get frisky with gf >she wants me to finger her >oksurewhatever >start rubbing according to what she tells me >she tells me"flicking my clit feels pretty nice you should do that anon" >start doing what she told me >autism kicks in >"hey the clit kinda remings me of the strum bar of a guitar hero controller >start rake strumming for s---- and giggles (using 2 fingers to register 2 imputs in one single movement) >mfw she loves it >she wants me to do it every day now what do i do now bros, she keeps questioning if i really had O experience with p---- and i'm too much of a wuss to admit that i learned it from guitar hero. f--- you guitar hero.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon doesn’t understand cigarettes | /r/Greentext

27 KB JPG >That's it? >Be me >Be 18 >Try smoking for the first time >Start coughing like crazy >Get intensely dizzy, unable to walk, stand or even talk properly >Continues for a straight minute or 2 >Ended up throwing the pack away How the f--- are people addicted to this?

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anon gets horny at dentist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 71 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed)05:50:14 No.31038805 >At Dentist >Staring up at the ceiling, spacing out >Mind starts to wander >Start thinking about sex stuff >Get Horny >Sensually lick Dentist's finger while she's probing in my mouth It was an accident, I just did it automatically. She acted like it didn't happen but there's no way she didn't notice as I did it really intensely. Am I going to get in some kind of trouble for this?

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Anon made an arrangement | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/10/24(Wed)14:35:39 No.77083993 Arrangement 74 KB JPG I have no idea where else to post this. I have an arrangement with a severely traumatized girl (she was abused by her parents in early childhood, ended up in foster care, you get the idea). I pay her to allow me to just watch her for hours. I usually watch her sitting and staring at a blank wall, crying, or curled up in bed. I find this extremely enjoyable. I love the dead look in her eyes. Idk why I am like this.

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/v/ finds out Dora the Explorer VA in FF7 Rebirth | /r/Greentext

ST Diametrumpymonkey: GODOT Master542: Now he's Lost his d. Dora the Explorer Defeated Sephiroth BlameGrumpyMonkey: achumasters #2 hanah David Mzengi: Aw man Looks like you ve already defeated him and beat the game. Did Mzengi Beaten *alam rumpyMonkey RonnieBoss so where would place the figure of Sephiroth? after placing it together 食 sephiroth antymonkey twice defeated kachuMaster542 Bronnieboss Probably with Kathleen's Dora Shelf with Princess Dora, Dora the Explorer Lunchbox & Her Dora Plushies 14:15 OG voice of Dora unboxes FF7R collectors edition!! Kathleen Herles 68K views • 4 weeks ago #1, No. 672257413 April 3 final_fantasy_7_rebirth_dora PNG 576x487 394.6 kB 14:15 OG voice of Dora unboxes FF7R collectors edition!! Kathleen Herles 68K views 4 weeks ago These days, we see a lot of VA's playing their own games on stream and providing commentary and stuff. Which person + game let's play do you want to see? 15 replies #2, No. 672257434 April 3 >>672257413 (OP) who did she voice? 3 replies #3, No. 672260990 April 3 >>672257434 Sephiroth 1 reply #4, No. 672263092 April 3 >>672260990 >Hola Cloud! I need you to bring me the Black Materia. >But oh no! Where IS the Black Materia? >Can YOU see the Black Materia? >That's right! You've spotted the Black Materia! Now Cloud can bring it to me! >Can YOU help Cloud bring it to me? >Everyone get up and shout "Good puppy, Cloud!" >That's it! Keep shouting! He's almost here! >You did it! Good puppy, Cloud! >Wait. Who is that? >OH NO. It's Materia Hunter Yuffie! She must be after the Black Materia! >"Hee he hee, I'm gonna swipe ALL the Materia!" >Quick, everyone repeat after me! >YUFFIE NO MUGGING. YUFFIE NO MUGGING. YUFFIE NO MUGGING >"Awww dachau beans" >We did it! We stopped Materia Hunter Yuffie! >Now we can use the Black Materia to summon Meteor and inflict a wound upon the planet that will cause the lifestream to coalesce on one location where I shall ascend to godhood and use the hollowed out husk of Gaia as an interstellar uber so my mother and I can start the cycle of reunion anew on other worlds! Muchos Gracias! 18 replies

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Anon has his day | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 62 KB JPG been with since me >feel miserable 04/08/24(Mon)20:12:28 No.77065393 >have gf >together for 3 years >eachothers first everything >she ends up cheating on me with her coworker >devastated >4 months go by >sometimes hear things from my friends about how many guys she's >one day speaking with friend >Oh by the way did you hear what happened to your ex?" >..."what is it?" >thinking she's gotten into a relationship with a rich doctor or something >"Well she was in a car with a guy and the guy somehow lost control of the car, crashed and now she's in a coma. The doctors say it's not looking good she might not walk again if she wakes up at all. And if she's does it's almost guaranteed she has brain damage" >have to hide my smile and glee so I don't look like a psychopath >finally able to move on You know what? Sometimes life is alright

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Anon learns the valuable lesson that he should avoid goths | /r/Greentext

732 KB JPG >Be me 28 year old kissless hugless virgin >Cant get women in america decide to go to europe > Go to spain > decide to get s-------- > Go to club > See 9.5/10 Big t---- Goth > Say f--- it and pretend to be a chad >mfw it actually works > wing the whole situation >actually f--- and she ask to meet again same night to keep f------ > s--- at sex but lied and said i havent f----- in 9 months >fast foward america > wake up burning piss, weird cough, pimples on d--- > Go to the er > MonkeyPox, gonorrhea, herpes >i regret losing my virginity to that woman

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The dementia crocodile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 184 KB PNG 04/10/24(Wed)18:35:50 No.916663495 >be me, 25, visiting grandpa >grandpa has dementia, things have been tough >he starts talking about seeing a crocodile in the house >at first, think he's joking >realize he's serious, sees it everywhere >in the kitchen? Croc making a sandwich >in the living room? Croc watching TV >even says there's one in the bathtub, calls it Gerald >decide to go along with it, make the best of the situation >start asking grandpa about Gerald's day >grandpa lights up, tells wild stories about crocodile adventures >we go on "croc hunts" around the house, armed with brooms >grandpa hasn't been this animated in months >realize it doesn't matter if it's real, it's real to him >every visit, ask about Gerald >grandpa's stories get more elaborate, now Gerald has a family >turns into our thing, bonding over imaginary crocodile shenanigans >learn to find joy in the situation, grandpa's happy, I'm happy >thankful for Gerald, the dementia crocodile, for bringing us closer

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Anon is malicious | /r/Greentext

How about a /devilish/thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser >over the line >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. Who is the loser now?

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Anon's Rabbit Invasion | /r/Greentext

File: 360 F 212120183_R6153nA1d(...).jpg (41 KB, 540x360) Interrupted by Family Rabbit just wanna sleep 04/10/24(Wed)05:16:01 No.4769518 ► >Took time off from school to recover from surgery at parents' house >Woken up by post surgery pains >It's 5:14 in the morning >Sister has pet albino rabbit >Little f----- comes into my room >S---- everywhere >Refuses to elaborate >HE'S NOT LEAVING >HE KEEPS TRYING TO JUMP INTO MY BED >HELP

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Anon imagines an incel infested apocalyptic wasteland | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: b312/Uw+) >>464371836 (OP) # 04/09/24(Tue)03:37:05 No.464385340 >i want puuuuuuussssyyyyyy >it echoed through the ruins of what was once new york city >behind a rainbow painted concrete slap a lone and scared roasty dreams of chad >her sagging post-wall skin blending in with the bullet riddled brick walls >quiet now! a wild incel appears out of the rubble of a former bodega, his penis swirling like a radar telescope >sniff sniff rõõŏstbēēēf it growled from underneath a cape made from chad's skin >gulp! don't make a sound now! >the roasty's hand was feverishly searching for a rock, a projectile, an improvised weapon, anything! >*sniff sniff⭑* >her faded tattoos of wine bottles and cats seemed to turn the most ghostly hue of blue as the incel slowly turned his head, his sex starved gaze meeting her ancient eye sockets >*pre c-- dribbles*

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Cant argue with that | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RrTJTO17) M Animal Crossing SPECIES 3AB 1/35 2.86% 730 KB JPG VILLAGER 1/805 0.12% 04/10/24(Wed)10:47:14 No. 19993591 >at bar with my friends >some stacey, who isn't my friend, says to me "Talk to me when you've had sex before" I reply "Talk to me when you've IV'd fentanyl >kicked out of le bar and banned for 6 weeks. w--?, last time I checked, IV fentanyl didn't kill 6 million jews, having sex did. (sexual reproduction is what created Hitler, as well as all the jews who died).

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le 4chin straight male | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Not gay That was funny I'm laughing 138 KB GIF 12/21/21(Tue)13:02:24 No.21583990 He c--- deep into my sissy swede guts, breeding my booty hole then he cuddles me with his strong masculine German arms until I fall asleep on his chest. Any other straight guys

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