Anon doesn’t understand cigarettes | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

27 KB JPG >That's it? >Be me >Be 18 >Try smoking for the first time >Start coughing like crazy >Get intensely dizzy, unable to walk, stand or even talk properly >Continues for a straight minute or 2 >Ended up throwing the pack away How the f--- are people addicted to this?

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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anon gets horny at dentist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 71 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed)05:50:14 No.31038805 >At Dentist >Staring up at the ceiling, spacing out >Mind starts to wander >Start thinking about sex stuff >Get Horny >Sensually lick Dentist's finger while she's probing in my mouth It was an accident, I just did it automatically. She acted like it didn't happen but there's no way she didn't notice as I did it really intensely. Am I going to get in some kind of trouble for this?

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Anon made an arrangement | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/10/24(Wed)14:35:39 No.77083993 Arrangement 74 KB JPG I have no idea where else to post this. I have an arrangement with a severely traumatized girl (she was abused by her parents in early childhood, ended up in foster care, you get the idea). I pay her to allow me to just watch her for hours. I usually watch her sitting and staring at a blank wall, crying, or curled up in bed. I find this extremely enjoyable. I love the dead look in her eyes. Idk why I am like this.

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/v/ finds out Dora the Explorer VA in FF7 Rebirth | /r/Greentext

ST Diametrumpymonkey: GODOT Master542: Now he's Lost his d. Dora the Explorer Defeated Sephiroth BlameGrumpyMonkey: achumasters #2 hanah David Mzengi: Aw man Looks like you ve already defeated him and beat the game. Did Mzengi Beaten *alam rumpyMonkey RonnieBoss so where would place the figure of Sephiroth? after placing it together 食 sephiroth antymonkey twice defeated kachuMaster542 Bronnieboss Probably with Kathleen's Dora Shelf with Princess Dora, Dora the Explorer Lunchbox & Her Dora Plushies 14:15 OG voice of Dora unboxes FF7R collectors edition!! Kathleen Herles 68K views • 4 weeks ago #1, No. 672257413 April 3 final_fantasy_7_rebirth_dora PNG 576x487 394.6 kB 14:15 OG voice of Dora unboxes FF7R collectors edition!! Kathleen Herles 68K views 4 weeks ago These days, we see a lot of VA's playing their own games on stream and providing commentary and stuff. Which person + game let's play do you want to see? 15 replies #2, No. 672257434 April 3 >>672257413 (OP) who did she voice? 3 replies #3, No. 672260990 April 3 >>672257434 Sephiroth 1 reply #4, No. 672263092 April 3 >>672260990 >Hola Cloud! I need you to bring me the Black Materia. >But oh no! Where IS the Black Materia? >Can YOU see the Black Materia? >That's right! You've spotted the Black Materia! Now Cloud can bring it to me! >Can YOU help Cloud bring it to me? >Everyone get up and shout "Good puppy, Cloud!" >That's it! Keep shouting! He's almost here! >You did it! Good puppy, Cloud! >Wait. Who is that? >OH NO. It's Materia Hunter Yuffie! She must be after the Black Materia! >"Hee he hee, I'm gonna swipe ALL the Materia!" >Quick, everyone repeat after me! >YUFFIE NO MUGGING. YUFFIE NO MUGGING. YUFFIE NO MUGGING >"Awww dachau beans" >We did it! We stopped Materia Hunter Yuffie! >Now we can use the Black Materia to summon Meteor and inflict a wound upon the planet that will cause the lifestream to coalesce on one location where I shall ascend to godhood and use the hollowed out husk of Gaia as an interstellar uber so my mother and I can start the cycle of reunion anew on other worlds! Muchos Gracias! 18 replies

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Anon has his day | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 62 KB JPG been with since me >feel miserable 04/08/24(Mon)20:12:28 No.77065393 >have gf >together for 3 years >eachothers first everything >she ends up cheating on me with her coworker >devastated >4 months go by >sometimes hear things from my friends about how many guys she's >one day speaking with friend >Oh by the way did you hear what happened to your ex?" >..."what is it?" >thinking she's gotten into a relationship with a rich doctor or something >"Well she was in a car with a guy and the guy somehow lost control of the car, crashed and now she's in a coma. The doctors say it's not looking good she might not walk again if she wakes up at all. And if she's does it's almost guaranteed she has brain damage" >have to hide my smile and glee so I don't look like a psychopath >finally able to move on You know what? Sometimes life is alright

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Anon learns the valuable lesson that he should avoid goths | /r/Greentext

732 KB JPG >Be me 28 year old kissless hugless virgin >Cant get women in america decide to go to europe > Go to spain > decide to get s-------- > Go to club > See 9.5/10 Big t---- Goth > Say f--- it and pretend to be a chad >mfw it actually works > wing the whole situation >actually f--- and she ask to meet again same night to keep f------ > s--- at sex but lied and said i havent f----- in 9 months >fast foward america > wake up burning piss, weird cough, pimples on d--- > Go to the er > MonkeyPox, gonorrhea, herpes >i regret losing my virginity to that woman

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The dementia crocodile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 184 KB PNG 04/10/24(Wed)18:35:50 No.916663495 >be me, 25, visiting grandpa >grandpa has dementia, things have been tough >he starts talking about seeing a crocodile in the house >at first, think he's joking >realize he's serious, sees it everywhere >in the kitchen? Croc making a sandwich >in the living room? Croc watching TV >even says there's one in the bathtub, calls it Gerald >decide to go along with it, make the best of the situation >start asking grandpa about Gerald's day >grandpa lights up, tells wild stories about crocodile adventures >we go on "croc hunts" around the house, armed with brooms >grandpa hasn't been this animated in months >realize it doesn't matter if it's real, it's real to him >every visit, ask about Gerald >grandpa's stories get more elaborate, now Gerald has a family >turns into our thing, bonding over imaginary crocodile shenanigans >learn to find joy in the situation, grandpa's happy, I'm happy >thankful for Gerald, the dementia crocodile, for bringing us closer

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Anon is malicious | /r/Greentext

How about a /devilish/thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser >over the line >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. Who is the loser now?

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Anon's Rabbit Invasion | /r/Greentext

File: 360 F 212120183_R6153nA1d(...).jpg (41 KB, 540x360) Interrupted by Family Rabbit just wanna sleep 04/10/24(Wed)05:16:01 No.4769518 ► >Took time off from school to recover from surgery at parents' house >Woken up by post surgery pains >It's 5:14 in the morning >Sister has pet albino rabbit >Little f----- comes into my room >S---- everywhere >Refuses to elaborate >HE'S NOT LEAVING >HE KEEPS TRYING TO JUMP INTO MY BED >HELP

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Anon imagines an incel infested apocalyptic wasteland | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: b312/Uw+) >>464371836 (OP) # 04/09/24(Tue)03:37:05 No.464385340 >i want puuuuuuussssyyyyyy >it echoed through the ruins of what was once new york city >behind a rainbow painted concrete slap a lone and scared roasty dreams of chad >her sagging post-wall skin blending in with the bullet riddled brick walls >quiet now! a wild incel appears out of the rubble of a former bodega, his penis swirling like a radar telescope >sniff sniff rõõŏstbēēēf it growled from underneath a cape made from chad's skin >gulp! don't make a sound now! >the roasty's hand was feverishly searching for a rock, a projectile, an improvised weapon, anything! >*sniff sniff⭑* >her faded tattoos of wine bottles and cats seemed to turn the most ghostly hue of blue as the incel slowly turned his head, his sex starved gaze meeting her ancient eye sockets >*pre c-- dribbles*

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Cant argue with that | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RrTJTO17) M Animal Crossing SPECIES 3AB 1/35 2.86% 730 KB JPG VILLAGER 1/805 0.12% 04/10/24(Wed)10:47:14 No. 19993591 >at bar with my friends >some stacey, who isn't my friend, says to me "Talk to me when you've had sex before" I reply "Talk to me when you've IV'd fentanyl >kicked out of le bar and banned for 6 weeks. w--?, last time I checked, IV fentanyl didn't kill 6 million jews, having sex did. (sexual reproduction is what created Hitler, as well as all the jews who died).

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le 4chin straight male | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Not gay That was funny I'm laughing 138 KB GIF 12/21/21(Tue)13:02:24 No.21583990 He c--- deep into my sissy swede guts, breeding my booty hole then he cuddles me with his strong masculine German arms until I fall asleep on his chest. Any other straight guys

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Anon has a moneyhack | /r/Greentext

54 KB JPG >take out as much credit card debt as I can >buy as much crypto as I possibly can >hide keys in a secure location >commit crime >go to prison for several years, getting free housing and food while your investment appreciates in value >get out of prison and have a crypto fortune waiting for you >??? >profit Thoughts?

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