Anon can't perform | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

173 KB JPG >be me, in bed with gf >she shows me pic rel on her phone >"you could never do this for me!" >w--? >I just asked her what she meant, but she kept >repeating herself >she sounded exasperated and started quietly >crying later on W-- was I supposed to do here guys?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon's tries to undo something | /r/Greentext

>be me at 10 years old (18 now, just barely old enough for 4chan) >Exceptionally retarded, like it's impressive that I'm not in special needs >Life is strange season 4 had just come out and my brother was playing it >Think it's so cool that the main character can reverse time by holding out her hand >One day in class I answer a question wrong and get laughed at 147 KB PNG >So embarrassed that I ask God to give me the power to reverse time by 15 seconds >Reach my hand out in front of me while simultaneously letting out the biggest f------ fart and lightly s------- myself >Everyone hears and laughs again >I hold in my tears as I run to the bathroom I couldn't get a good night's sleep for months after that, my best friend even said my super power is shoving my hand out and projectile s-------

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Anon orders food. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PODA ET used. 123 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)08:27:10 No.75169042 >four small pieces of uncooked fish rolled in some rice >That'll be $25 sir : Anonymous >>75169042 (OP) # >If you don't tip me 30% of your total I'm gonna spit in your food 10/24/23(Tue)08:27:44 No.75169050

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Anon hears a rumor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 789716562 9.1 kB JPG 24 min. ago... F--- off this is my first shot at this. >be me >today >hear people talk about some girl from a nearby highschool >apparently she posted her getting f----- by a dog >call bs on it >several people at my table show me the video >quite a thorough job >she goes at about every angle, showing the mad lad's red rocket >apparently killed herself after it spread >mfw

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Anon's existential crisis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous DAY'S 10/23/23(Mon)15:10:33 No.908161416 >Meets a girl in my early 20's that I could never really get over from >We ended things due to complicated reasons, it wasn't a bad breakup >We talk on and off over the years but there's something there still 54 KB JPG >Fast forward to current gf, solid relationship, very calm >Ex reappears again and we just have a friendly chat like always, apparently she has a bf now >The tension is boiling up and can no longer be contained >Conversation starts turning and I feel like we are about to commit a terrible mistake >Never stopped thinking about her, just like she never stopped thinking about me >Moment of deafening silence >In a moment of impulse she asks me if I want to meet up at a hotel to chat and catch up >"No... I'm sorry but no. I feel like if we take that step we will do something we can't possibly take back, and lose something in the process that is irreplaceable. We both know what will happen, and neither of us will have this distance to keep us under control" >Listens to her voice slightly cracking on the other side of the phone, mine does too >I can feel her tears, and I can't help but keep dreaming of a life with her >She says goodbye, and tells me she will always love me, using the name we used to call each other. >That was months ago I f------ hate this, she has taken over my soul. I see her in my dreams, in social events I daydream about having her next to me, holding her, seeing her smile just one more time. I will get married soon, and while I feel happiness with my fiance, in my most private moments I see a life that could never be. I believe I did the right thing in the end, had we both just cheated and gone together we would have never really trusted each other after that, and would have lost mutual respect. There was nothing I could do, and even now all I can do I put on a fake smile and dream as I hopefully slip into an acceptable life. Ungrateful me, deceiver me, relinquished me, I will never reach the dream even when I escape to it every night.

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Anon loves Finland | /r/Greentext

Anonymous GRALLY 909 KB PNG 10/23/23(Mon)21:11:06 No.189034224 Finland >Makes best indie videogames in the world >Has great music industry and bands like Paavoharju, Harmaa Getto, Eppu Normaali, etc >Made one of the most popular TPS series in the world >Has one of the best national epics ever >Invented iconic memes like Apu, Spurdo, etc >Has one of the most beautiful languages in the world, Tolkien really appreciated it >Has beautiful landscape >Rich >Created the most famous and popular mobile videogames >There are as many people in Finland as in one St. Petersburg >A person of Finnish origin created Minecraft, one of the most popular videogames ever Why Finns are so cool? What's their secret? Is there something impossible for a Finnish person?

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It’s the journey, not the destination. | /r/Greentext

File: 1334002438.jpg-(278 KB, 1600x1200, IMG_0860.jpg) Anonymous (ID: 5glX1jja) 04/09/12(Mon)16:13:58 No.392199014 Not mine but I felt I would share: Guess what's in the box /b/? O Anonymous (ID: mgowPDIv) 04/09/12(Mon)16:14:39 No.392199 File: 1334002479.jpg-(404 KB, 1600x1200, IMG 0861.jpg) Anonymous (ID: yWdtAUr4) 04/09/12(Mon)16:15:25 No.392199243 QHA crystal meth Anonymous (ID: Awxg3svj) 04/09/12(Mon)16:16:32 No.392199426 Q! A File: 1334002592.jpg-(142 KB, 550x693, 1332281714307.jpg) biscuits? Anonymous (ID: mgowPDlv) 04/09/12(Mon)16:17:35 No.392199597 QA File: 1334002655.jpg-(568 KB, 1600x1200, IMG_0863.jpg) Close but it's really 4 years worth of c--.

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Anon doesn’t understand women | /r/Greentext

Anonymous LIGHTNING Harry Potter THIEF A RICA BIORDAN DEATHLY HALLOWY 69 KB JPG 05/02/21(Sun)19:40:19 No.853478759 2 Replies > be me > meet this cute girl > talk for a while, discussing hobbies > she likes harry potter and percy jackson > take out my pocket knife and stab her three times in the throat Why are women like this? View Thread

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Anon goes to the grocery store | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 KB JPG >kms Pic unrelated 10/23/23(Mon)10:26:32 No.75165255 >be super nervous >mom tell me to go to the grocery store to get some chicken >go to deli, and pick out a number >my number is skipped >leave store >go home

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Anon should've called a plumber | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 119 KB JPG 10/08/23(Sun)22:52:26 No.907362484 Here's another poo poo story. So my dad had a girlfriend he asked to watch us. She was closer to our age than she was his. Watching 4 kids. My brother takes a dump, and it's literally too big to go down the pipe, f------ lodged in there.. My brother takes his bare hands sinks into the abyss, grabs the clump of s--- and squeezes it in half. Dads girlfriend watched the entire thing unfold in horror. Little brother is freaking out with s--- dripping down his elbow. >>907362848 # Toilet struggles to get down two huge logs with a handshake in-print. Dad comes home and laughs at the entire f------ story. Calls s--- a knuckle backed trout from then on.

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Anon had a good thing going | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I'm ruined now 312 KB PNG 10/23/23(Mon)14:22:07 No.30015350 >had a beautiful romance, lasted for years >very intelligent girl, well educated, played instruments and sang beautifully >more importantly, she was the most good natured person I've ever met. rich depth of emotion, cared about people and the state of humanity at large, no ego, never once saw her seriously get angry, never acted superior to anyone, just higher on the evolutionary scale than normal people >always kind, tender to me it's not uncommon when a relationship ends to go through some depression and feel like you'll never love again. but i assumed it was temporary and I'd get over it. But I haven't, it's been 5 years. Have you ever had a really incredible whiskey, and not been able to tolerate the cheap stuff afterwards? Other girls are f------ awful by comparison. And I'm not talking about some s----- girls on tinder - even the 'nicer' girls are like this. They toy with your emotions, play power games, manipulate you, have temper tantrums, and you constantly have to mind their insecurities and neroses. I genuinely don't believe most girls don't even care about he guys they're with. I was shocked at how much kindness she showed me, because it was so different from any way I'd been treated before. Most women are just callously insensitive to your wellbeing. They seem to all think they're some incredible prize and you should feel indebted to have them. w-- do I even do now?

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Anon doesn't like the Reddit joke | /r/Greentext

File: r4034.png (105 KB, 600x562) >> Reddit f--- Anonymous 10/23/23 (Mon)16:00:56 No.908141483 >>908141516 >>908141580 >>908142034 >Be me. >Be Redditor. >Go to r/greentext because I'm too scared to venture into the void of 4chan. >See a text obviously intended as joke. >As I'm of above average intelligence, I deduce it's most likely a fabrication. >In a stunning flash of originality, I call it fake&gay. >Waddle around with my head held high for the rest of the day. Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! Anonymous 10/23/23 (Mon)16:02:10 No.908141516 ► >>908141483 (OP) go back Anonymous 10/23/23 (Mon)16:04:30 No.908141580 >>908141483 (OP) fake and gay is probably the single worst f------ "joke" they came up with edit: wow this blew up thanks for platinum c-- award stranger! Anonymous 10/23/23 (Mon)16:22:09 No.908142034 >>908141483 (OP) >>908141580 >>908142034 What is all this awards s---? Is it something from Plebbit? And how do you know about it?

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Anon gets groomed online | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_0627.jpg (8 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon) 09:49:47 No.75161349 >>75161372 >>75161406 >>75161428 >>75162295 >>75162309 >its 2020 >my retarded 17 year old ass is lonely and on discord >edate this random european guy for a month >he calls it off because i dont even remember why >i talk s--- about him and made a thread about him exposing him for grooming me about a year ago >fast forward to it being nearly 2024 >i still miss him even though ive had a girlfriend for the last year, but she doesnt know about this degeneracy i did why am i still attached to some eurofag? i hate this

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