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>be me at 10 years old (18 now, just barely old enough for 4chan) >Exceptionally retarded, like it's impressive that I'm not in special needs >Life is strange season 4 had just come out and my brother was playing it >Think it's so cool that the main character can reverse time by holding out her hand >One day in class I answer a question wrong and get laughed at 147 KB PNG >So embarrassed that I ask God to give me the power to reverse time by 15 seconds >Reach my hand out in front of me while simultaneously letting out the biggest f------ fart and lightly s------- myself >Everyone hears and laughs again >I hold in my tears as I run to the bathroom I couldn't get a good night's sleep for months after that, my best friend even said my super power is shoving my hand out and projectile s-------

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Anon orders food. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PODA ET used. 123 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)08:27:10 No.75169042 >four small pieces of uncooked fish rolled in some rice >That'll be $25 sir : Anonymous >>75169042 (OP) # >If you don't tip me 30% of your total I'm gonna spit in your food 10/24/23(Tue)08:27:44 No.75169050

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Anon hears a rumor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 789716562 9.1 kB JPG 24 min. ago... F--- off this is my first shot at this. >be me >today >hear people talk about some girl from a nearby highschool >apparently she posted her getting f----- by a dog >call bs on it >several people at my table show me the video >quite a thorough job >she goes at about every angle, showing the mad lad's red rocket >apparently killed herself after it spread >mfw

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Anon's existential crisis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous DAY'S 10/23/23(Mon)15:10:33 No.908161416 >Meets a girl in my early 20's that I could never really get over from >We ended things due to complicated reasons, it wasn't a bad breakup >We talk on and off over the years but there's something there still 54 KB JPG >Fast forward to current gf, solid relationship, very calm >Ex reappears again and we just have a friendly chat like always, apparently she has a bf now >The tension is boiling up and can no longer be contained >Conversation starts turning and I feel like we are about to commit a terrible mistake >Never stopped thinking about her, just like she never stopped thinking about me >Moment of deafening silence >In a moment of impulse she asks me if I want to meet up at a hotel to chat and catch up >"No... I'm sorry but no. I feel like if we take that step we will do something we can't possibly take back, and lose something in the process that is irreplaceable. We both know what will happen, and neither of us will have this distance to keep us under control" >Listens to her voice slightly cracking on the other side of the phone, mine does too >I can feel her tears, and I can't help but keep dreaming of a life with her >She says goodbye, and tells me she will always love me, using the name we used to call each other. >That was months ago I f------ hate this, she has taken over my soul. I see her in my dreams, in social events I daydream about having her next to me, holding her, seeing her smile just one more time. I will get married soon, and while I feel happiness with my fiance, in my most private moments I see a life that could never be. I believe I did the right thing in the end, had we both just cheated and gone together we would have never really trusted each other after that, and would have lost mutual respect. There was nothing I could do, and even now all I can do I put on a fake smile and dream as I hopefully slip into an acceptable life. Ungrateful me, deceiver me, relinquished me, I will never reach the dream even when I escape to it every night.

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Anon loves Finland | /r/Greentext

Anonymous GRALLY 909 KB PNG 10/23/23(Mon)21:11:06 No.189034224 Finland >Makes best indie videogames in the world >Has great music industry and bands like Paavoharju, Harmaa Getto, Eppu Normaali, etc >Made one of the most popular TPS series in the world >Has one of the best national epics ever >Invented iconic memes like Apu, Spurdo, etc >Has one of the most beautiful languages in the world, Tolkien really appreciated it >Has beautiful landscape >Rich >Created the most famous and popular mobile videogames >There are as many people in Finland as in one St. Petersburg >A person of Finnish origin created Minecraft, one of the most popular videogames ever Why Finns are so cool? What's their secret? Is there something impossible for a Finnish person?

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It’s the journey, not the destination. | /r/Greentext

File: 1334002438.jpg-(278 KB, 1600x1200, IMG_0860.jpg) Anonymous (ID: 5glX1jja) 04/09/12(Mon)16:13:58 No.392199014 Not mine but I felt I would share: Guess what's in the box /b/? O Anonymous (ID: mgowPDIv) 04/09/12(Mon)16:14:39 No.392199 File: 1334002479.jpg-(404 KB, 1600x1200, IMG 0861.jpg) Anonymous (ID: yWdtAUr4) 04/09/12(Mon)16:15:25 No.392199243 QHA crystal meth Anonymous (ID: Awxg3svj) 04/09/12(Mon)16:16:32 No.392199426 Q! A File: 1334002592.jpg-(142 KB, 550x693, 1332281714307.jpg) biscuits? Anonymous (ID: mgowPDlv) 04/09/12(Mon)16:17:35 No.392199597 QA File: 1334002655.jpg-(568 KB, 1600x1200, IMG_0863.jpg) Close but it's really 4 years worth of c--.

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Anon doesn’t understand women | /r/Greentext

Anonymous LIGHTNING Harry Potter THIEF A RICA BIORDAN DEATHLY HALLOWY 69 KB JPG 05/02/21(Sun)19:40:19 No.853478759 2 Replies > be me > meet this cute girl > talk for a while, discussing hobbies > she likes harry potter and percy jackson > take out my pocket knife and stab her three times in the throat Why are women like this? View Thread

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Anon goes to the grocery store | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 KB JPG >kms Pic unrelated 10/23/23(Mon)10:26:32 No.75165255 >be super nervous >mom tell me to go to the grocery store to get some chicken >go to deli, and pick out a number >my number is skipped >leave store >go home

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Anon should've called a plumber | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 119 KB JPG 10/08/23(Sun)22:52:26 No.907362484 Here's another poo poo story. So my dad had a girlfriend he asked to watch us. She was closer to our age than she was his. Watching 4 kids. My brother takes a dump, and it's literally too big to go down the pipe, f------ lodged in there.. My brother takes his bare hands sinks into the abyss, grabs the clump of s--- and squeezes it in half. Dads girlfriend watched the entire thing unfold in horror. Little brother is freaking out with s--- dripping down his elbow. >>907362848 # Toilet struggles to get down two huge logs with a handshake in-print. Dad comes home and laughs at the entire f------ story. Calls s--- a knuckle backed trout from then on.

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Anon had a good thing going | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I'm ruined now 312 KB PNG 10/23/23(Mon)14:22:07 No.30015350 >had a beautiful romance, lasted for years >very intelligent girl, well educated, played instruments and sang beautifully >more importantly, she was the most good natured person I've ever met. rich depth of emotion, cared about people and the state of humanity at large, no ego, never once saw her seriously get angry, never acted superior to anyone, just higher on the evolutionary scale than normal people >always kind, tender to me it's not uncommon when a relationship ends to go through some depression and feel like you'll never love again. but i assumed it was temporary and I'd get over it. But I haven't, it's been 5 years. Have you ever had a really incredible whiskey, and not been able to tolerate the cheap stuff afterwards? Other girls are f------ awful by comparison. And I'm not talking about some s----- girls on tinder - even the 'nicer' girls are like this. They toy with your emotions, play power games, manipulate you, have temper tantrums, and you constantly have to mind their insecurities and neroses. I genuinely don't believe most girls don't even care about he guys they're with. I was shocked at how much kindness she showed me, because it was so different from any way I'd been treated before. Most women are just callously insensitive to your wellbeing. They seem to all think they're some incredible prize and you should feel indebted to have them. w-- do I even do now?

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Anon doesn't like the Reddit joke | /r/Greentext

File: r4034.png (105 KB, 600x562) >> Reddit f--- Anonymous 10/23/23 (Mon)16:00:56 No.908141483 >>908141516 >>908141580 >>908142034 >Be me. >Be Redditor. >Go to r/greentext because I'm too scared to venture into the void of 4chan. >See a text obviously intended as joke. >As I'm of above average intelligence, I deduce it's most likely a fabrication. >In a stunning flash of originality, I call it fake&gay. >Waddle around with my head held high for the rest of the day. Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! Anonymous 10/23/23 (Mon)16:02:10 No.908141516 ► >>908141483 (OP) go back Anonymous 10/23/23 (Mon)16:04:30 No.908141580 >>908141483 (OP) fake and gay is probably the single worst f------ "joke" they came up with edit: wow this blew up thanks for platinum c-- award stranger! Anonymous 10/23/23 (Mon)16:22:09 No.908142034 >>908141483 (OP) >>908141580 >>908142034 What is all this awards s---? Is it something from Plebbit? And how do you know about it?

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Anon gets groomed online | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_0627.jpg (8 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 10/23/23(Mon) 09:49:47 No.75161349 >>75161372 >>75161406 >>75161428 >>75162295 >>75162309 >its 2020 >my retarded 17 year old ass is lonely and on discord >edate this random european guy for a month >he calls it off because i dont even remember why >i talk s--- about him and made a thread about him exposing him for grooming me about a year ago >fast forward to it being nearly 2024 >i still miss him even though ive had a girlfriend for the last year, but she doesnt know about this degeneracy i did why am i still attached to some eurofag? i hate this

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Anon doesn't have real friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 273 KB JPG bad. 10/23/23(Mon)16:40:55 No.908140308 Found out that my "friends" had a party this weekend and basically invited everyone they knew except me. I know I'm f------ insufferable but hearing it out of the mouth of someone you feel like you know hurts so f------ I don't even want to kill myself at this point because I feel like everyone would fake cry over my body and claim they "never knew". I just want to move to the middle of nowhere and never talk to anyone ever again.

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Greentext Stories - Anon's tries to undo something | /r/Greentext

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>be me at 10 years old (18 now, just barely old enough for 4chan) >Exceptionally retarded, like it's impressive that I'm not in special needs >Life is strange season 4 had just come out and my brother was playing it >Think it's so cool that the main character can reverse time by holding out her hand >One day in class I answer a question wrong and get laughed at 147 KB PNG >So embarrassed that I ask God to give me the power to reverse time by 15 seconds >Reach my hand out in front of me while simultaneously letting out the biggest f------ fart and lightly s------- myself >Everyone hears and laughs again >I hold in my tears as I run to the bathroom I couldn't get a good night's sleep for months after that, my best friend even said my super power is shoving my hand out and projectile s-------

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