Anon's joke bombs | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 10/10/23(Tue)16:35:40 No.29932029 >>29932037 >>29932113 >dating japanese girl >about to have sex >Ask her if i need to censor her vagina or if this happens automatically >She doesnt laugh Anonymous 10/10/23(Tue) 16:48:40 No.29932113 >>29932029 >about to have sex >mention p--- >she is disappointed >w-- women

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Freaky Felicity | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Day good 10/11/23(Wed) 20:34:33 No.75035282 >Walking from apartment to lecture >Hear woman talking about someone's beautiful hair >Know she's talking about me because nobody else was around, still ignore her because scared of speaking >She catches up with me, for the next 30 seconds releases a string of compliments ranging from "tarzan" to "sweet babydoll" >"Oh uh th-thanks" 926 KB GIF >She's unfazed by my spaghetti and gives a "have a nice day handsome" before turning away to walk to a store Did I just lose my virginity? What the f--- happened? I'm feeling good robros

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Anon gets trapped in a genjutsu | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Anybody ever experience someth(...) 110 KB JPG 10/11/23(Wed)13:20:18 No. 15799523 >be me >playing football with my friends from college >bum rush the QB but he plants his feet and knocks me to the ground >see a flash of light as my head hits >it's pounding >sit up, literally seeing stars >friend rushes over and asks if I'm okay >disoriented but say yes >he helps me up and we keep playing >on the way home friend gets in a car accident >killed instantly, his car literally got flattened >closed casket funeral >I cry at his grave >ffw a couple months and I meet a girl >we were in the same major and took some classes together >eventually we started dating >she's my sunlight, we have fun on every single date we went on and barely ever argue >ffw another four years >planning on proposing to her >I pass the graveyard where old friend is buried on my way home from jewelry store >decide on a whim to stop by >ask attendant where his grave is >as I walk towards his grave my head starts to hurt >by the time I get there my vision is swimming >head is pounding >look at his headstone but the letters are all jumbled up >I'm panicking at this point >realize my nose is bleeding like crazy >I'm feeling nauseous so I stumble over to the closest bench >sit down but somehow pass through it and fall to the ground >the SECOND I hit the ground my vision goes black >I blink and I'm on my back in the grass >hear someone call my name >sit up >it's my friend >we're playing football >I'm still in college >I'm confused and disoriented >no headache >nose isn't bleeding >no nausea >nothing According to him and the guys, I hit the ground hard and was only down for a couple seconds. My friend didn't die. My girlfriend doesn't exist. She isn't in any of my classes. I remember it all though. I remember ALL of it. My therapist says it was a hallucination or something but it was so, so real.

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anon doesnt like porn sites | /r/Greentext

>be me >go on reddit for p--- >s----- formatting and i have to go to redgifs each time >go to pornhub >I-----!!!! I-----!!! STEP SISTER STUCK!!! >go on e621 >s----- formating >go on rule34 >ai p--- everywhere /b/ros what are some good p--- sites

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Anon ponders on the benefits of consumerism | /r/Greentext

9h (10/11 13:09) 96595615 25 Re . 6 Img PNG 72KB (500 x 500) a7fd915877691e790fd12996519bf79230e f12ebb71e11215522c2d99548524f.png 12 Replies . buying product hasn't made me happy 9h (10/11 13:13). 96595673 JPG 10KB (119 × 185) kyo-ant.jpg 2 Replies >>96595615 (OP) have you tried... using the product?

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Anon watches The Last of Us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)20:51:18 No.182863159 1675158301832142.jpg 1.17 MB JPG >is that... A S--- COVERED A------? >A-a-and it's riddled with aids! >oh my Satan, I can't wait to put my d--- in it >I'll do that as soon as I've finished molesting this child! Wow, what a scary zombie show!

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Anon is deeply concerned | /r/Greentext

File: penny.jpg (692 KB, 1472x1333) Anonymous 10/12/23(Thu)01:49:44 No.190864037 D >>190864437>>190864515 >>190864569 >>190866267 >>190868818 >>190869431 >>190870954 >>190871123 OFFICER, HELP! THEY'RE RUNNING A F------ TRAIN DOWN HERE! WHAT THE F---, I WANTED THEIR SOULS NOT THIS S---

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Anon is a delusional Trumper | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Things were undeniably better (...) TRVAL TRUMP ERICA GREAT AGAIN 2024 68 KB JPG 10/11/23(Wed)19:40:17 No.907500962 >No new wars >No inflation >No migrant crisis >historic middle east peace deals >wages growing faster than inflation for first time in 50 years >US manufacturing coming back state side I'm not even a big Trumper but holyshit does Biden. f------ suck

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Anon responds to Middle East news | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: cmsYfA4R) 10/11/23(Wed)11:56:51 No.444355705 ► >>444359757 >>444363175 >>444364219 File: Retard chamber.jpg (171 KB, 768x1024) RETARD CHAMBER >Be Gaza strip >Get billions of dollars in aid from the US, UN, EU >Spend it on terrorism >Depend on water and electricity from the Jews they vow to kill >Kill a bunch of Jews >Jews cut off water and power >shockedpikachu.jpg posing

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Ghost in the Office | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 163 KB JPG 10/11/23(Wed)13:02:56 No.75031203 >be me >Coworker at work is a s--- bag and nobody likes him >I'm done with it so I decided to do something drastic >find out his address >print it out on a piece of paper and mail it to Ringo Starr >tell my coworker what I've just done >he only looks at me funny >over the next 3 weeks he gets more and more paranoid >then one day he just disappears >missing posters in the office break room >after 4 days search teams find him dead on the side of a river bank >thank you Ringo Starr

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Anon watched The Office | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The Office the office 1.36 MB PNG : Anonymous 22 KB JPG 08/16/22(Tue)23:41:07 No.172739450 Why does it appeal to normies? >>172740486 # >>172741740 # Anonymous 08/16/22(Tue)23:46:29 No.172739637 >bullies you >causes you bodily harm >destroys your property >destroys company property >its just a prank bro 08/17/22(Wed)00:12:12 No.172740486 >>172739637 # >steals another man's fiance >never tries to actually improve his life or find a real career can't remember who it was who said that if Jim were 5' 8" he would be the most hated man in the history of television

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Anon is a political analyst. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/23(Thu)04:58:53 No.75033422 >What's wrong, T? You seem kinda quiet 76 KB JPG >Nothing, it's just that... "both sides are wrong" is the lowest form of political analysis

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Anon reads Stephen King | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Spooky books for October #1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER STEPHEN KING WWW. IT 260 KB PNG 10/11/23(Wed)15:11:30 No.75032355 >Be Eldritch cosmic monster from another dimension. >Have lived long enough to witness the creation and destruction of several worlds. >Have access to multiple realites/dimensions. >Decide to crash land on earth. >Kill all dinosaurs. >Humans show up. >Decide to create discourse amongst them. >Promote homophobic, sexist, and racist attitudes. >Normally maifests as a man in clown suit. >Secretly am female. >Defeated by the power of friendship, o----- and getting high. What did Stephen King mean by this?

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