Anon's joke bombs | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 10/10/23(Tue)16:35:40 No.29932029 >>29932037 >>29932113 >dating japanese girl >about to have sex >Ask her if i need to censor her vagina or if this happens automatically >She doesnt laugh Anonymous 10/10/23(Tue) 16:48:40 No.29932113 >>29932029 >about to have sex >mention p--- >she is disappointed >w-- women

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Freaky Felicity | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Day good 10/11/23(Wed) 20:34:33 No.75035282 >Walking from apartment to lecture >Hear woman talking about someone's beautiful hair >Know she's talking about me because nobody else was around, still ignore her because scared of speaking >She catches up with me, for the next 30 seconds releases a string of compliments ranging from "tarzan" to "sweet babydoll" >"Oh uh th-thanks" 926 KB GIF >She's unfazed by my spaghetti and gives a "have a nice day handsome" before turning away to walk to a store Did I just lose my virginity? What the f--- happened? I'm feeling good robros

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Anon gets trapped in a genjutsu | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Anybody ever experience someth(...) 110 KB JPG 10/11/23(Wed)13:20:18 No. 15799523 >be me >playing football with my friends from college >bum rush the QB but he plants his feet and knocks me to the ground >see a flash of light as my head hits >it's pounding >sit up, literally seeing stars >friend rushes over and asks if I'm okay >disoriented but say yes >he helps me up and we keep playing >on the way home friend gets in a car accident >killed instantly, his car literally got flattened >closed casket funeral >I cry at his grave >ffw a couple months and I meet a girl >we were in the same major and took some classes together >eventually we started dating >she's my sunlight, we have fun on every single date we went on and barely ever argue >ffw another four years >planning on proposing to her >I pass the graveyard where old friend is buried on my way home from jewelry store >decide on a whim to stop by >ask attendant where his grave is >as I walk towards his grave my head starts to hurt >by the time I get there my vision is swimming >head is pounding >look at his headstone but the letters are all jumbled up >I'm panicking at this point >realize my nose is bleeding like crazy >I'm feeling nauseous so I stumble over to the closest bench >sit down but somehow pass through it and fall to the ground >the SECOND I hit the ground my vision goes black >I blink and I'm on my back in the grass >hear someone call my name >sit up >it's my friend >we're playing football >I'm still in college >I'm confused and disoriented >no headache >nose isn't bleeding >no nausea >nothing According to him and the guys, I hit the ground hard and was only down for a couple seconds. My friend didn't die. My girlfriend doesn't exist. She isn't in any of my classes. I remember it all though. I remember ALL of it. My therapist says it was a hallucination or something but it was so, so real.

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anon doesnt like porn sites | /r/Greentext

>be me >go on reddit for p--- >s----- formatting and i have to go to redgifs each time >go to pornhub >I-----!!!! I-----!!! STEP SISTER STUCK!!! >go on e621 >s----- formating >go on rule34 >ai p--- everywhere /b/ros what are some good p--- sites

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Anon ponders on the benefits of consumerism | /r/Greentext

9h (10/11 13:09) 96595615 25 Re . 6 Img PNG 72KB (500 x 500) a7fd915877691e790fd12996519bf79230e f12ebb71e11215522c2d99548524f.png 12 Replies . buying product hasn't made me happy 9h (10/11 13:13). 96595673 JPG 10KB (119 × 185) kyo-ant.jpg 2 Replies >>96595615 (OP) have you tried... using the product?

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Anon watches The Last of Us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)20:51:18 No.182863159 1675158301832142.jpg 1.17 MB JPG >is that... A S--- COVERED A------? >A-a-and it's riddled with aids! >oh my Satan, I can't wait to put my d--- in it >I'll do that as soon as I've finished molesting this child! Wow, what a scary zombie show!

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Anon is deeply concerned | /r/Greentext

File: penny.jpg (692 KB, 1472x1333) Anonymous 10/12/23(Thu)01:49:44 No.190864037 D >>190864437>>190864515 >>190864569 >>190866267 >>190868818 >>190869431 >>190870954 >>190871123 OFFICER, HELP! THEY'RE RUNNING A F------ TRAIN DOWN HERE! WHAT THE F---, I WANTED THEIR SOULS NOT THIS S---

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Anon is a delusional Trumper | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Things were undeniably better (...) TRVAL TRUMP ERICA GREAT AGAIN 2024 68 KB JPG 10/11/23(Wed)19:40:17 No.907500962 >No new wars >No inflation >No migrant crisis >historic middle east peace deals >wages growing faster than inflation for first time in 50 years >US manufacturing coming back state side I'm not even a big Trumper but holyshit does Biden. f------ suck

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Anon responds to Middle East news | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: cmsYfA4R) 10/11/23(Wed)11:56:51 No.444355705 ► >>444359757 >>444363175 >>444364219 File: Retard chamber.jpg (171 KB, 768x1024) RETARD CHAMBER >Be Gaza strip >Get billions of dollars in aid from the US, UN, EU >Spend it on terrorism >Depend on water and electricity from the Jews they vow to kill >Kill a bunch of Jews >Jews cut off water and power >shockedpikachu.jpg posing

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Ghost in the Office | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 163 KB JPG 10/11/23(Wed)13:02:56 No.75031203 >be me >Coworker at work is a s--- bag and nobody likes him >I'm done with it so I decided to do something drastic >find out his address >print it out on a piece of paper and mail it to Ringo Starr >tell my coworker what I've just done >he only looks at me funny >over the next 3 weeks he gets more and more paranoid >then one day he just disappears >missing posters in the office break room >after 4 days search teams find him dead on the side of a river bank >thank you Ringo Starr

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Anon watched The Office | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The Office the office 1.36 MB PNG : Anonymous 22 KB JPG 08/16/22(Tue)23:41:07 No.172739450 Why does it appeal to normies? >>172740486 # >>172741740 # Anonymous 08/16/22(Tue)23:46:29 No.172739637 >bullies you >causes you bodily harm >destroys your property >destroys company property >its just a prank bro 08/17/22(Wed)00:12:12 No.172740486 >>172739637 # >steals another man's fiance >never tries to actually improve his life or find a real career can't remember who it was who said that if Jim were 5' 8" he would be the most hated man in the history of television

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Anon is a political analyst. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/23(Thu)04:58:53 No.75033422 >What's wrong, T? You seem kinda quiet 76 KB JPG >Nothing, it's just that... "both sides are wrong" is the lowest form of political analysis

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Anon reads Stephen King | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Spooky books for October #1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER STEPHEN KING WWW. IT 260 KB PNG 10/11/23(Wed)15:11:30 No.75032355 >Be Eldritch cosmic monster from another dimension. >Have lived long enough to witness the creation and destruction of several worlds. >Have access to multiple realites/dimensions. >Decide to crash land on earth. >Kill all dinosaurs. >Humans show up. >Decide to create discourse amongst them. >Promote homophobic, sexist, and racist attitudes. >Normally maifests as a man in clown suit. >Secretly am female. >Defeated by the power of friendship, o----- and getting high. What did Stephen King mean by this?

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