Finally, Anon is happy.., | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

46m (8/25 2:09) 904916508 - 20 Re - 0 Img JPG 4KB (233 × 216) · download (4).jpg 9 Replies My groomer is in jail, good vibes >be me, 21F >be a dumbass and get groomed when 14 by a 20 year old dude >cut all contact with him after realizing how toxic he is >he keeps trying to add me on other accounts for over a year afterwards >Google his name to keep tabs and make sure he's staying away from me >he's currently in jail for possession of CP >read the court case >police found videos of 3-7 year old boys and girls getting r---- on his phone >he's still pleading not guilty and with a public defender ; LMAO he's so f-----. Or at least, he probably will be by the other inmates once they find out what he did. L p--- bozo

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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femanon thinks everyone around her is disgusting | /r/Greentext

File: img.png (99 KB, 268x388) 272 im so tired Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)15:57:43 No.904924183 >be me >14 year old femanon >mom was abusive and killed herself when i was 4 (no questions please >dad and stepmom were kinda just meh at best, needed to get away >get into some sort of military program >be in it for most of my life, changed me for the better >get shipped off to japan >she wants nothing to do with him, and he embarrasses her >begin immediatly getting sidelined by my crush and his ex for the other kid >kinda cute tho >wake up >feels.png >red ocean, some tposing... things in the distance >the stacy friend of the kid is in the f------ sky >fuckfuckfuck >meet some f-- and his friends >have a hard crush for my guardian during the program >his ex is here >ohfuckohfuckohfuck >disgusting are all men like this guys? >split in half, essentially dead >phew >guy begins strangling me >probably some turbovirgin, i'll give him a sympathy touch >he cries on me

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Anon have sexy time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/08/20(Sun)00:10:49 >oneitis looks exactly like pic related but brunette >always saw her as beautiful >find pic related >ask anons what they think >get made fun of >girl gets called a pig faced trailer trash slut >anons make fun of her make up, hair, and bad skin Daddy 71 KB JPG No.60816531 >realize that my oneitis is not really out of my league if anons are right >gather up the courage to ask her out on date >says yes >at the end of the date hugs me >says I should hit her up whenever I wanna go out because she's always bored at home >today we go on our 2nd date >we get tipsy on wine >end up kissing in my car Thanks, robots.

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Anon pretends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)16:27:26 No.74497490 >want to make friends >start acting like a normie >start dressing like one >quit my bad habits >be more hygenic >build up (false) confidence >go out and talk to new people >they all give you that "look" >no one wants to be your friend >they're cold and callous towards you >no matter how hard you try >you will always be an outsider >you can LARP as a normie all you want >but you never will be one >you will be alienated from society >absolutely nothing I can do to rectify this It's just so over 106 KB JPG

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Why slug more slug. | /r/Greentext

File: 1268793899267.jpg -(25577 B, 350x255) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>> Martin Cettingville Tue, 16 Mar 2010 22:44:59 EST ID:qgkEo3Tq No.1008606A Report why slug more slug 1- Slug is so much light than snail who have shell to copy slug technology. 2- The snail use the shell beacause is a f------ faget. 3-snail got crush so easy, and you can give the slug to ur dog chew and it II still eat lettuce. 4- shell is MORE heavy than no shell. 5- some slug have internal shell because more evolved 6- Your cousin will not want to stay on your house to play slug. 7- If you trow the slug on the wall, the wall will go up. 8- Trow both on water and watch which will come up first. 9-slug at mate will make a slimecord. The snail will show dribble. 10- All slug are hermaphrodite. Snail is too but because faget 11- slug is the name of a bullet. Snail means it is slow. 12- Slug will eat carrion, slug dont give a f--- 13- slug didn't needed an upgrade. Slug is perfect James Cruzzlemot Tue, 16 Mar 2010 22:50:06 EST ID:fill1UIQ No.1008626 maybe the best thing i have ever read A

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Anon's Persecution | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >25yo kv 5'6 neet >dropped out of high school at 16 >chilling in my room doing nothing >parents yelling at me for no reason and threatening me to call the cops why can't they just give up? i barely talk to them, i want nothing to do with them, it's not my fault they made me ugly, why can't they just chill? i got a 31 year old sister, she has a chad bf, they may have grandchildren one day, who knows 286 KB PNG 06/29/23(Thu)12:40:57 No.73843525 >>73843728 # : Anonymous call the cops for what, were you doing something illegal 06/29/23(Thu)12:46:36 No.73843577 >>73843728 # Anonymous >>73843525 (OP) # >why can't they just give up? i barely talk to them, i want nothing to do with them Then why do you live in their house? 06/29/23(Thu)12:49:34 No.73843607

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https://www.reddit.com/user/FrostFollower | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >a------ hairy since 12 >can't remember time when wiping easy >always wipe 50 times 10/27/20(Tue)23:19:59 No.838741229 >like cleaning muddy fishing net with tp >usually try to s--- just before shower >trimming pubes one day >going at gooch >go back farther >f--- it >trim asscrack >f--- it halfway there >shave crack and hole >takes like an hour >dont want to be cutting up my s------- >next day >s--- >wipe >wipe again >paper clean looking >w-- >did i miss the hole? >nope >just done wiping WHY THE F--- ISN'T THIS TAUGHT IN SCHOOL?

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Anon's trouble | /r/Greentext

28m (8/24 22:08) -904904624 1 Re-0 Img PNG 59KB (600 × 598) monkas-emote.png Am I gay now? >be me >fap to some giant t------ like any normal guy would >hold the c-- so I can cleanly release in the toilet >nice and clean.jpg >about to flush >urge to s--- >oh well, s--- since I'm in front of the toilet >wipe >c-- and s--- together on the paper am I gay now? ●●●

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Anon wishes he has appreciated his past life more | /r/Greentext

bg,181818-1al,750x,075 ---).Jpg (74 My miserable existence Anonymous 08/23/23(Wed)22:56:37 No.74488802 [Reply] >be me in 2020 >16 year old kissless virgin >extremely unhappy with my life despite it being fairly decent from other points of view >discover I have phimosis (tight foreskin) >doctor says a circumcision is mandatory >it goes sideways and he ends up cutting into my urethra and somehow splits my d--- in half >he gets fired and my parents sue him for malpractice >it takes 3 years of additional surgeries from other doctors to fix the botched surgery >penis is restored but looks horrible due to scarring from all the procedures >fast-forward to 2023 >now 19 years old and obviously still a kissless virgin >developed anxiety and depression, became introverted and lost the friendships I once had >smoke cigarettes and drink liquor to numb the pain >contemplate over how good my life was back then and wonder why I didn't appreciate it more I guess it was the universe's way of punishing me for whining like a little bitch despite not having any real problems

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Anon writes a romance | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1128 2/06/22(Sun)23:57:14 No.16965346 683A8509-560F-4318-84A2-50F761857668.jpg 68 KB JPG D >Writing workshop assignment to try out hand at romance >my paired critiquing partner for that day in class is a woman >after she reads over my work, the first thing she says to me is "You're a virgin, aren't you?"

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Anon establishes the autism of enders | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 86 KB JPG 12/13/18(Thu)13:28:16 No.787288109 >don't like eye contact >pick up random things they find >make random noises Are endermen autistic?

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anon speaks teenage language | /r/Greentext

- File: umicoxeyees91.jpg (67 KB, 933x1200) ■ Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)02:54:18 No.74491681 [Reply] ► Bro fr you 26 and a virgin? Nah u cappin bruh deadass. Ong no cap no dude be that old and a virgin bruh u goofy

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Anon has anger issues | /r/Greentext

WHAT WENT WONG 3 28 KB JPG WHY DID IT HAVE TO CONE TH5. >boyfriend in the bathroom >countertop is crowded >the bottle of Listerine falls off >bends down and picks it up >a few moments pass >it falls off again >he enters a screaming frothy-mouth rage >"God damn it, STOP! F------! FALLING! God damn f------ piece of God damn s---, stupid-ass God damn m-----------. I'll throw that stupid son of a bitch through the f------ God damn window if it f------ falls again" I wanted to cry... call me weak if you want but it scares me so much when people rage...

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