Anon pretends | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)16:27:26 No.74497490 >want to make friends >start acting like a normie >start dressing like one >quit my bad habits >be more hygenic >build up (false) confidence >go out and talk to new people >they all give you that "look" >no one wants to be your friend >they're cold and callous towards you >no matter how hard you try >you will always be an outsider >you can LARP as a normie all you want >but you never will be one >you will be alienated from society >absolutely nothing I can do to rectify this It's just so over 106 KB JPG

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Why slug more slug. | /r/Greentext

File: 1268793899267.jpg -(25577 B, 350x255) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>> Martin Cettingville Tue, 16 Mar 2010 22:44:59 EST ID:qgkEo3Tq No.1008606A Report why slug more slug 1- Slug is so much light than snail who have shell to copy slug technology. 2- The snail use the shell beacause is a f------ faget. 3-snail got crush so easy, and you can give the slug to ur dog chew and it II still eat lettuce. 4- shell is MORE heavy than no shell. 5- some slug have internal shell because more evolved 6- Your cousin will not want to stay on your house to play slug. 7- If you trow the slug on the wall, the wall will go up. 8- Trow both on water and watch which will come up first. 9-slug at mate will make a slimecord. The snail will show dribble. 10- All slug are hermaphrodite. Snail is too but because faget 11- slug is the name of a bullet. Snail means it is slow. 12- Slug will eat carrion, slug dont give a f--- 13- slug didn't needed an upgrade. Slug is perfect James Cruzzlemot Tue, 16 Mar 2010 22:50:06 EST ID:fill1UIQ No.1008626 maybe the best thing i have ever read A

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Anon's Persecution | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >25yo kv 5'6 neet >dropped out of high school at 16 >chilling in my room doing nothing >parents yelling at me for no reason and threatening me to call the cops why can't they just give up? i barely talk to them, i want nothing to do with them, it's not my fault they made me ugly, why can't they just chill? i got a 31 year old sister, she has a chad bf, they may have grandchildren one day, who knows 286 KB PNG 06/29/23(Thu)12:40:57 No.73843525 >>73843728 # : Anonymous call the cops for what, were you doing something illegal 06/29/23(Thu)12:46:36 No.73843577 >>73843728 # Anonymous >>73843525 (OP) # >why can't they just give up? i barely talk to them, i want nothing to do with them Then why do you live in their house? 06/29/23(Thu)12:49:34 No.73843607

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https://www.reddit.com/user/FrostFollower | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >a------ hairy since 12 >can't remember time when wiping easy >always wipe 50 times 10/27/20(Tue)23:19:59 No.838741229 >like cleaning muddy fishing net with tp >usually try to s--- just before shower >trimming pubes one day >going at gooch >go back farther >f--- it >trim asscrack >f--- it halfway there >shave crack and hole >takes like an hour >dont want to be cutting up my s------- >next day >s--- >wipe >wipe again >paper clean looking >w-- >did i miss the hole? >nope >just done wiping WHY THE F--- ISN'T THIS TAUGHT IN SCHOOL?

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Anon's trouble | /r/Greentext

28m (8/24 22:08) -904904624 1 Re-0 Img PNG 59KB (600 × 598) monkas-emote.png Am I gay now? >be me >fap to some giant t------ like any normal guy would >hold the c-- so I can cleanly release in the toilet >nice and clean.jpg >about to flush >urge to s--- >oh well, s--- since I'm in front of the toilet >wipe >c-- and s--- together on the paper am I gay now? ●●●

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Anon wishes he has appreciated his past life more | /r/Greentext

bg,181818-1al,750x,075 ---).Jpg (74 My miserable existence Anonymous 08/23/23(Wed)22:56:37 No.74488802 [Reply] >be me in 2020 >16 year old kissless virgin >extremely unhappy with my life despite it being fairly decent from other points of view >discover I have phimosis (tight foreskin) >doctor says a circumcision is mandatory >it goes sideways and he ends up cutting into my urethra and somehow splits my d--- in half >he gets fired and my parents sue him for malpractice >it takes 3 years of additional surgeries from other doctors to fix the botched surgery >penis is restored but looks horrible due to scarring from all the procedures >fast-forward to 2023 >now 19 years old and obviously still a kissless virgin >developed anxiety and depression, became introverted and lost the friendships I once had >smoke cigarettes and drink liquor to numb the pain >contemplate over how good my life was back then and wonder why I didn't appreciate it more I guess it was the universe's way of punishing me for whining like a little bitch despite not having any real problems

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Anon writes a romance | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1128 2/06/22(Sun)23:57:14 No.16965346 683A8509-560F-4318-84A2-50F761857668.jpg 68 KB JPG D >Writing workshop assignment to try out hand at romance >my paired critiquing partner for that day in class is a woman >after she reads over my work, the first thing she says to me is "You're a virgin, aren't you?"

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Anon establishes the autism of enders | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 86 KB JPG 12/13/18(Thu)13:28:16 No.787288109 >don't like eye contact >pick up random things they find >make random noises Are endermen autistic?

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anon speaks teenage language | /r/Greentext

- File: umicoxeyees91.jpg (67 KB, 933x1200) ■ Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)02:54:18 No.74491681 [Reply] ► Bro fr you 26 and a virgin? Nah u cappin bruh deadass. Ong no cap no dude be that old and a virgin bruh u goofy

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Anon has anger issues | /r/Greentext

WHAT WENT WONG 3 28 KB JPG WHY DID IT HAVE TO CONE TH5. >boyfriend in the bathroom >countertop is crowded >the bottle of Listerine falls off >bends down and picks it up >a few moments pass >it falls off again >he enters a screaming frothy-mouth rage >"God damn it, STOP! F------! FALLING! God damn f------ piece of God damn s---, stupid-ass God damn m-----------. I'll throw that stupid son of a bitch through the f------ God damn window if it f------ falls again" I wanted to cry... call me weak if you want but it scares me so much when people rage...

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anon has poor choice of words. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous G----------- from clubs 89 KB JPG 08/24/23(Thu)03:42:39 No.29631399 >Dance alone in the middle of a nightclub >Get surounded by bouncers >They explain to me that a woman complained that I was being weird >I didn't even talk to anyone >I tell them that's her problem, not mine >They ask why I'm alone at the club >Think to myself, "To dance and get laid, obviously" >Start imagining my d--- between a nice paire of t---. >I answer "to f--- some t---" >They drag me outside. >They Take a picture of my ID's and my face. >They tell me I'm banned from the premisse for "harassing women" and that if I come back they will call the police. Seriously, I may have used a poor choice of words, but why is it not acceptable to say that you are there to get laid? I mean don't most men do?

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Frogposter btfo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 08/24/23(Thu)15:53:43 No.189101210 >Female comedian speaks >"...So anyway, I had SEX... using my VAGINA" : Anonymous >>189101210 (OP) # >frogposter posts >"...so anyway, I sucked COCKS...using my MOUTH" 08/24/23(Thu)15:55:00 No.189101235

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Coomer brain anon is puzzled by life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 19 KB JPG 08/24/23(Thu)09:34:47 No.904899750 >can't perform in bed with an objectively 7.5/10 wife who used to be a cheerleader in high school >just busted a nut to my neighbor's incredibly ugly mom imagining her as a milf Life is so complicated, I ponder as I sit in the bathroom staring at my shameful naked body

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