Anon wishes he has appreciated his past life more | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

bg,181818-1al,750x,075 ---).Jpg (74 My miserable existence Anonymous 08/23/23(Wed)22:56:37 No.74488802 [Reply] >be me in 2020 >16 year old kissless virgin >extremely unhappy with my life despite it being fairly decent from other points of view >discover I have phimosis (tight foreskin) >doctor says a circumcision is mandatory >it goes sideways and he ends up cutting into my urethra and somehow splits my d--- in half >he gets fired and my parents sue him for malpractice >it takes 3 years of additional surgeries from other doctors to fix the botched surgery >penis is restored but looks horrible due to scarring from all the procedures >fast-forward to 2023 >now 19 years old and obviously still a kissless virgin >developed anxiety and depression, became introverted and lost the friendships I once had >smoke cigarettes and drink liquor to numb the pain >contemplate over how good my life was back then and wonder why I didn't appreciate it more I guess it was the universe's way of punishing me for whining like a little bitch despite not having any real problems

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon writes a romance | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1128 2/06/22(Sun)23:57:14 No.16965346 683A8509-560F-4318-84A2-50F761857668.jpg 68 KB JPG D >Writing workshop assignment to try out hand at romance >my paired critiquing partner for that day in class is a woman >after she reads over my work, the first thing she says to me is "You're a virgin, aren't you?"

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Anon establishes the autism of enders | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 86 KB JPG 12/13/18(Thu)13:28:16 No.787288109 >don't like eye contact >pick up random things they find >make random noises Are endermen autistic?

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anon speaks teenage language | /r/Greentext

- File: umicoxeyees91.jpg (67 KB, 933x1200) ■ Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)02:54:18 No.74491681 [Reply] ► Bro fr you 26 and a virgin? Nah u cappin bruh deadass. Ong no cap no dude be that old and a virgin bruh u goofy

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Anon has anger issues | /r/Greentext

WHAT WENT WONG 3 28 KB JPG WHY DID IT HAVE TO CONE TH5. >boyfriend in the bathroom >countertop is crowded >the bottle of Listerine falls off >bends down and picks it up >a few moments pass >it falls off again >he enters a screaming frothy-mouth rage >"God damn it, STOP! F------! FALLING! God damn f------ piece of God damn s---, stupid-ass God damn m-----------. I'll throw that stupid son of a bitch through the f------ God damn window if it f------ falls again" I wanted to cry... call me weak if you want but it scares me so much when people rage...

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anon has poor choice of words. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous G----------- from clubs 89 KB JPG 08/24/23(Thu)03:42:39 No.29631399 >Dance alone in the middle of a nightclub >Get surounded by bouncers >They explain to me that a woman complained that I was being weird >I didn't even talk to anyone >I tell them that's her problem, not mine >They ask why I'm alone at the club >Think to myself, "To dance and get laid, obviously" >Start imagining my d--- between a nice paire of t---. >I answer "to f--- some t---" >They drag me outside. >They Take a picture of my ID's and my face. >They tell me I'm banned from the premisse for "harassing women" and that if I come back they will call the police. Seriously, I may have used a poor choice of words, but why is it not acceptable to say that you are there to get laid? I mean don't most men do?

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Frogposter btfo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 08/24/23(Thu)15:53:43 No.189101210 >Female comedian speaks >"...So anyway, I had SEX... using my VAGINA" : Anonymous >>189101210 (OP) # >frogposter posts >"...so anyway, I sucked COCKS...using my MOUTH" 08/24/23(Thu)15:55:00 No.189101235

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Coomer brain anon is puzzled by life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 19 KB JPG 08/24/23(Thu)09:34:47 No.904899750 >can't perform in bed with an objectively 7.5/10 wife who used to be a cheerleader in high school >just busted a nut to my neighbor's incredibly ugly mom imagining her as a milf Life is so complicated, I ponder as I sit in the bathroom staring at my shameful naked body

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Anon takes it fine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 21 KB JPG 08/23/23(Wed)19:11:05 No.74487121 >be me >goes to hs >try to get gf >befriend a girl >hit on her >she rejects me, says that doesnt want a bf >didnt get mad, took it fine >stop talking to her >got next day to hs >all her friends know what happened, she spreads personal information about me. >still not mad >can visibly see her whispering to her friends while they are all looking at me, also hiding when I appear. >a little mad >she them says to someone: "why we couldnt still be friends?" Why are woman like this? Do they dont know what consequences are? I realised "personality" is a hoax when they act like this irl and get way with it, and its not just some woman, its the majority.

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Anon cannot top | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 345 KB PNG 10/12/21(Tue)15:30:42 No.65731923 >Make dating app account >Heterosexual, show to women >3 likes, no matches in a week >Disappointed by curious, switch to males >70 likes in an 2 hours There was nothing wrong with me, female standards became so insane they beyond self- parody right now.

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Anon feels better | /r/Greentext

42.0 kB JPG >gf of 2 years I was about to propose to cheats on me >feels bad >turns out she was doing it for months >feels worse >force myself to stop thinking about her over time >feels better >she calls me one day >guy she cheated on me with cheated on her >says she feels bad for what she put me through >asks for another chance >"nah" >hang up phone >all better

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Anon realizes incels go back to the dawn of time | /r/Greentext

Mu LVIVV fin 8,000 YEARS AGO, 17 WOMEN REPRODUCED FOR EVERY ONE MAN An analysis of modern DNA uncovers a rough dating scene after the advent of agriculture. FRANCIE DIEP UPDATED: JUN 14, 2017 ORIGINAL: MAR 17, 2015 Threshing wheat in ancient Egypt. (Photo: Carlos E. Solivérez/Wikimedia Commons) F03819DF-02F6-4905-B3A2-8989E114A60B.jpg 246 KB JPG >"Ugh Stakregg me like you want make baby" >"no way Anontrog me make baby with Chadlodite" >"I like you too Beckykrag you make baby with Anontrog?" TUSSIVE >"F--- off Anontrog you weak bitch, me f--- Chadlodite too" TFW cavemen were all a bunch of f------ incels

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Anon should try the psych ward | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous When IS an appropriate time to(...) dersen AW PUCK YEAH! 81 KB JPG 23 08/20/23(Sun)21:32:10 No.904702490 In college > inappropriate to flirt in class > inappropriate to flirt at work > inappropriate to flirt while they're working > inappropriate to flirt with random person > girls in clubs aren't looking for boyfriends > girls at frat parties aren't looking for boyfriends > groups of girls at either don't want to be approached > online dating is a cesspool unless you want hookups W-- bros when are you supposed to talk to women?

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