>>856259778 (OP) # DR. KEK and MY SIDES >Be guy in charge of skittles >Think of something to do for f----- month >TFW skittles are already rainbow >idea.jpg 38 KB JPG >Remove the rainbow from the skittles >Only one rainbow matters for pride month, after all >Skittles are all white >Suddenly realize >White >Pride

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon overdoses on pickles | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/23/13(Mon)10:04:04 UTC-5 No.522930202 >>522923281 Tell me about it. >went to the store on Thursday >bought a half gallon jar of pickles >love me some pickles >eat one as soon as I get home >tastesgoodman.bat >so good I decide l'll have a few more >walk back to my computer and start to work but the urge is not sated >not by a long shot >come back to life-giving pickle jar several more time >eat several pickles each time >after an hour the jar is empty >400% of my daily sodium never tasted so good >thirty minutes later I hear a churning in my stomach >not a light rumbling, sounds like the noise an old tub makes when you suddenly pull the drain >initiate sprint to bathroom mode >barely get my ass on the toilet as a f------ waterfall emerges from my a------ >never in my life have relief and horror been such close bedfellows >after about ten seconds of continuous flow it subsides to a trickle and stops >toilet water is green and smells like vinegar >body didn't even try to digest that s--- >clean up and go back to computer >thinking "thank god that's over" >Not. Even. Close. >five minutes later the rumbling is back >even louder this time >sprint to bathroom, lather, rinse, repeat >this happens five more f------ times >it's finally all gone >stomach is concave; I have never had less food inside my body >completely cleaned out >cue rumble >sit on toilet but it's different this time >I KNOW there's nothing in there >s--- out a tiny amount of liquid, immediately feel better >"well I guess there was just a tiny bit left, that wasn't so ba-" >all at once the burning fire of a thousand young suns sets upon my a--- sphincter >l had just shat out pure stomach acid >frantically wipe at my ass to prevent it from melting away like the spaceship floor in Alien >craw in shower, turn cold water on full blast, and lie prone while gently sobbing >eventually towel off and crawl exhausted into bed at 3:00 in the afternoon >sleep for fourteen hours In retrospect, it was all totally worth it. I love me some pickles.

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Anon writes a greentext anoon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/16/18(Sat)22:53:06 No.7717373 >/b/ me >write incredibly long greentext about the sad story of my relationship with my gf and our breakup >go to post it >remember i haven't linked a picture 200 KB JPG >put this stupid picture of this fish in a mousetrap >file was too big >lost the story

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Anon’s GF does a lil bit of trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:27:47 No.64033474 >in bed with gf >she wants my attention >decides upon the best course of action >rams her fingers up my butthole >jesusfuckwoman >turn to her and ask w-- shes doing 111 KB JPG >"just a little bit of trolling" >mfw And i thought i was autistic.

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Anon's thought on women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)00:07:21 No.64011614 >can't do manual labor >can't fight in times of war >can't innovate >can't create >can't be funny Women are literally only good at making babies, otherwise they would of gone extinct thousands 19 KB JPG of years ago. Call me an incel but it's the truth. : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)00:56:40 No.64012232 >>64011614 (OP) # >can't fight in times of war *blocks your path* also you must be a literal middle schooler, as evident by the 35 KB JPG statement >otherwise they would of gone extinct thousands of years ago >>64014228 #

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Anon needs to know | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)16:49:08 No.856241936 >Put big black bat in front of white woman >She instinctively starts to lick and suck on it Why do they love big black bats so bad? 85 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)16:58:11 No.856242425 >>856241936 (OP) # They like the taste of lead paint.

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)00:10:51 No.856222076 >Be Me >Figured out that my best friends wife is cheating on him >Try to tell him about it but she stops me >She begs me not to tell him >l say no 125 KB JPG >She insisted that it was a one time mistake >She knows l'm loser virgin >Offers to suck my d--- if I don't tell him >What should I do?

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Anon makes the mutt seethe | /r/Greentext

F------ MOVE!! STACY IS GIVING BIRTH TO CHAD'S CHILD RIGHT NOW! I NEED TO GET TO WORK!II MOVE YOU F------ IDIOT! I'M GONNA BE LATE! MR. NOSEBERG TOLD ME TO BE EARLY TODAY!! SLOW YOUR ROLL slowyourrollpaythetoll.png 823 KB PNG >this makes the mutt seethe

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Anon characterizes himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:17:17 No.64027099 >5'5.5 (5'5 1/2) >small d--- >small balls >impotent >infertile >weak 213 KB PNG >brain damage >low IQ >mentally ill >fat >hairline receding /or balding >suck at physical things >suck at physical job >can't communicate well >no license >college dropout >no friends >no girl >no gf >khhv : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:38:15 No.64027419 >>64027099 (OP) # How are you still alive OP?Like h-------- , what will power did you have to survive this far? 99 KB JPG >>64027511 #

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Anon leaves all social media | /r/Greentext

File: americanpsycho460-2.jpg (10 KB, 200x200) Anonymous 08/15/15(Sat)20:55:03 No.634948902 >delete facebook >leave all social media >leave city >move to Himalayas >one day pigeon comes with note >open note >Candy Crush request

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anon reached the point of no return a while ago and is yet to realize it | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)15:39:16 No.856229997 File: Purepain.jpg (275 KB, 664x527) >be me >depressed >go to therapy >kind of helps >describe my average emotional level as gray >" you should start working out, it gives you good endorphins." >"you should eat healthier, it will make you feel better." >start working out >start eating healthier >spend more time outside in the sun >still feel gray >get 0 pleasure from accomplishing anything >don't get happy >don't get sad >where are the endorphins? >why do I still feel gray?

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Anon needs to shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)16:24:45 No.856229038 >Playing vidya >Stomach starts to churn and rumble >World war III starts in my intestines >Turn off computer, run to 78 KB JPG bathroom >Play music that helps with stomach aches >Set asscheeks down on the porcelain >Stomach pain and rumble ceases, no sign of s--- leaving my ass >Stand up >ltsback.mp4 >Sit down >Stops This s--- has been going on for a week now, I'm considering ending it all.

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Anon missed his shot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)18:11:40 No.64023830 >add girl on discord >she knows i like being insulted and always goes along with it >it wasnt anything sexual for me but she recently asked if i liked jacking off to her 827 KB JPG >tell her i dont j------- to her i just like being treated worse by girls >call her a creep and ghost her for a few weeks >first question to break the ice was asking if she's been drinking lately >ask what she even does when she drinks and she says she just calls friends >tell her she never calls me >expected her to say im not her friend >no response >wake up to a ton of messages she sent when drunk >she wanted to see my c--- ill let you know how i manage to f--- this one up

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Greentext Stories - Skittles you dumb f---- | /r/Greentext

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>>856259778 (OP) # DR. KEK and MY SIDES >Be guy in charge of skittles >Think of something to do for f----- month >TFW skittles are already rainbow >idea.jpg 38 KB JPG >Remove the rainbow from the skittles >Only one rainbow matters for pride month, after all >Skittles are all white >Suddenly realize >White >Pride

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