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: Anonymous feels good 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 man 30 KB JPG >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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: Anonymous 10/26/24(Sat) 10:58:14 No.204864976 maxresdefault (3).jpg 73 KB JPG >you're gaslighting me! >you're love bombing me! >you're stonewalling me! >you're mansplaining to me! realistically, how do you respond to this?

GE Anonymous "I will refund 11/27/24(Wed)23:23:27 No.695792406 Valve Just Put Game Publishers On Notice. 1.1M views 5 days ago Bellular News your game." aa 17:58 IMG_7847.jpg 332 KB JPG >DUDE, IM THE WHOLESOME VIDEO GAME SANTA, WE DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT MONEY LMAO >destroys indie devs by forcing them to accept refunds even though the small game they released was literally under the 2 hour threshold for playing and being able to refund F--- Gabe. He's a scumbag. Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:25:51 No.695792505 The customer is ALWAYS right >>695793068 # >>695794602 # >>695795310 # Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:12 No.695792525 If your game is s----- enough that even people who bought it on steam instead of pirating demands a refund it's your fault Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:42 No.695792549 Be thankful for Gabe. The second he dies, a brainless profitbot 9000 takes his place, undoes everything he did, and guts Valve like a fish for private equity wealth.

Anonymous 89KB JPG 01/18/20(Sat) 12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me >been having a s--- week >take long shower >lay on back buck naked on bed and close eyes >try not to cry >feelsbadman.jpg >doggo snoozing on bed suddenly wakes up and stretches >Starts walking over my legs but stops over my genitals >shakes head and violently slaps my d--- and balls multiple times with floppy ears >laugh uncontrollably for 5min straight Instantly feel better. Thanks doggo bro.

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Anon fanning (i.redd.it) . | /r/Greentext

>>46575716 # >be me >neighbour has heavily disabled son >I'm talking Steven hawkings 2.98 MB PNG levels of qaudraspazzed >outside gym master race >one day I'm lifting and he's in the neighbors garden >I'm benching my 1RM >here a noise >look up and see this little spazoid cheering and bobbing his head >now every time I lift he wheels himself out and cheers me on >mfw I now lift for him >>46575873 # >>46575916 # >>46575954 # >>46575963 # >>46576013 # >>46576043 # >>46576233 # >>46578453 # >>46578580 # >>46578865 # >>46582317 # >>46582488 # >>46582583 # >>46582599 #

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Biz anon gets horny during a meeting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 6t1Kp7EU) 08/03/23(Thu)11:38:09 No.55742075 >>55739733 (OP) # I f----- up so bad during the pandemic and got humiliated and fired for something like this. I've posted it before >be me, may 2020 >everyone was sent to WFH full time >Business is very slow because of the early stages of the pandemic where basically everyone was just sitting in their homes >manager decides that for morale boosting we have a team meeting every morning >no actual business goals just people bullshitting about TV shows, pandemic, cooking, stuff like that >extreme hottie that's on my team is talking about some movie and won't shut up. Just staring at her watching her mouth move, laugh, play with her hair. She's wearing a little tank top >get incredibly horny, pull my pants down and start jacking off, discreetly. >Everyone continues bullshitting. I unmute and say a dumb little joke, everyone laughs. Mute again >Still horny and slowly stroking. Get so coombrained that I go to x------ on my phone >Pull up a c------ compilation video >take off headphones and start watching video while continuing to j-------, around 30 seconds or so of guys groaning and moaning as they shoot louds into girls mouths >all of a sudden hear faint voices louder and louder >Pause p--- and put headphones back on >realize my headset was unmuted the entire time I just stuttered uncontrollably and left the call. Got let go within two hours. The pandemic unemployment was awesome but I destroyed my reputation >>55742092 # >>55742745 # >>55742767 # >>55743297 # >>55743784 #

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You played yourself | /r/Greentext

⠀ This is the moment I uninstalled bg3 This is the moment I uninstall(...) Anonymous 10/19/20(Mon)16:22:02 No.832064 139CD1D0-8B32-4858-AA7B-FC20C2B53C70.jpg 84 KB JPG I cant believe this game forces you to be gay. 10/19/20(Mon)16:52:42 No.832202 That's literally the dream lover you made and completely customized. Are you sure you didn't want to be gay? EARLY ACCESS v4.1.84.2021 : Anonymous >>832389 # >>834009 # >>834917 # >>843762 # >>851486 # >>853415 # 10/19/20 (Mon)17:23:13 No.832389 >>832202 # It said >who do you dream of at night Just because your dreams have men in them doesn't mean you're gay or want to f--- them >>832401 # >>832402 # >>832410 # >>832467 # >>833461 # >>833641 # >>833806 # >>834072 # >>834263 # >>834361 # >>834917 # >>835186 # >>835695 # >>836142 # >>836183 # >>836201 # >>836445 # >>836509 # >>836843 # >>836867 # >>837206 # >>837910 # >>840554 # >>840675 # >>840680 # >>840792 # >>841115 # >>841136 # >>841451 # >>843762 # >>844048 # >>844265 # >>846176 # >>846197 # >>849058 # >>849117 # >>849135 # >>849277 # >>849288 # >>849988 # >>850011 # >>851227 # >>851234 # >>851271 # >>851340 # >>851486 # >>851522 # >>851932 #

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Anon cant control himself | /r/Greentext

>be me, 14 >my sister is 16 >be at home one night, dad is out >sister is wearing bra and panties >boner.jpg >sitting on the couch watching tv >she says she's going to bed, goes to her room >dad gets home >dad and I f---

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She's the bomb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02 02/15/21(Mon)12:11:21 No.62341896 fabc35dee775bcdac2ffa64de4c75e860560139768986e54fb0a433e5 90 KB JPG >Hey anon. I'm back. *kisses you* >God, you have such cute blue eyes.*strokes your hair* >My feet are so tired, have been killing palestinians all day. Will you give me a foot rub?

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Anon ask a good question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/23(Sun)22:44:42 No.35317358 Untitled33_20220824192307.png 3.22 MB PNG How do we stop intergalactic energy spiders from coming to earth?

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Anon takes his jokes too far | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/23 (Wed)17:08:42 No.74251486 9 KB JPG >be me >the jokester of the gang >friends love dark humor so always joke about liking lolis and what would I do to them >eventually they became f------ and got uncomfortable so decide to change my jokes to racist jokes which they love >be one day, they insisted on coming to my house to play smash >be really excited >while playing one friend wants to go to the bathroom >notice he's taking his sweet time but every time I want to go look my friends talk to me about something >be today the group chat is dead and nobody is replying >be sad so decide to pleasure myself >look for my hard drive and notcie its not there >sudden realization, heart beating fast >this mfs stole my hard drive anons i really really really dont want to go to jail my f------ heart is bursting out of my chest right now i wanna puke h--------

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Anon realises the pointlessness of his existence | /r/Greentext

No. 29485744 2 days ago csoxhiqq8ik91.jpg JPG 100.0 KiB 640x458 Next month I will be 31 years old. I make a lot of money (I'm a software engineer). I work entirely remote, no one goes to the office. I have no friends, never had a gf, haven't had sex in idk how long. I think of killing myself regularly. My job is pointless, I worry about layoffs all the time, I have tons of money and nothing i want to spend it on. What would you do in my situation? I hate myself and life, I hate my job, I just want out of this hell. I have been thinking about trying to become a doctor/ surgeon. I would need to take some pre-med college classes, I could do it part time and keep working or maybe quit my job. Or maybe just kill myself, I don't really know what to do.

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Anon uses 'X' | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Twitter is unusable 310 KB PNG 08/03/23(Thu)19:04:20 No.95136935 >give in and make a twitter account to look at japanese p---------- >notification >bitcoin scam bot mass tagging people and saying "check my bio" >reply "go hang yourself" >account permanently suspended how do normalfags use this : Anonymous 08/03/23(Thu)20:32:31 No.95138139 >>95136935 (OP) # >give in and make a twitter account to look at japanese p---------- You get what you f------ deserve

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Anon orders a toy and has his life ruined | /r/Greentext

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Anon tells a story | /r/Greentext

Quick story >be me >on dev team >small part of which was UX for the customer portal >not the website, just the login page for our customers >marketing team asks me into a meeting >meeting is with the third party vendor that actually designs our marketing stuff >bunch of cute bitches, why not? >go into meeting >guy on the other side of the call sounds tired >1000 yard stare of a man that has to deal with nonsense all day >vietnam.jpg >marketing qt does the intros, and immediately dives in >"Ummm, okay, so yeah, ummm ... we want the website to pop!" >marketing girls giggle >guy responds in a tired voice >"I'm sorry, pop?" >"Yeah, ummm, we like, want it to really POP. But still be cleeeean!" >literally drags out the word clean >I swear the guy looks at me for a split second >makes eye contact >pleading >Being the coward that I apparently am ... I look away >feels bad, man >"So you want the color scheme to change?" >"No the colors are fine, we just want it to, you know, like, POP!"

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Anon is an accessory | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (190 KB, 816x816) Anonymous 09/30/15 (Wed)19:23:05 No.644104344 ► >be me >high school, betafag >don't have any friends, so I just chill in the library every day >one day new kid transfers to my school, Mexican beanerfag >make friends with him cause he's beta too >hang out with him all year, get really close >make fun of him for being a w------, he doesn't care >find out he's a pyromaniac >lights everything he can on fire >lolwut but don't really care cause he's chill >one night at the end of the year he calls me at night >"im gonna set the warehouse on 4th street on fire, come with me anon" >tell him no, I'm not insane >he says whatever, hangs up >don't think much of it, he's cooky but he's not a madman >next day watching local news >"warehouse on 4th caught aflame last night, charred body found inside" >he isn't at school that day >turns out he did it and accidentally burned to death >mfw Jesús died for arsons Anonymous 09/30/15(Wed)19:26:05 No.644104808 ► underrated/10

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Greentext Stories - Anon tricks the system. | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous feels good 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 man 30 KB JPG >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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