Anon uses 'X' | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous Twitter is unusable 310 KB PNG 08/03/23(Thu)19:04:20 No.95136935 >give in and make a twitter account to look at japanese p---------- >notification >bitcoin scam bot mass tagging people and saying "check my bio" >reply "go hang yourself" >account permanently suspended how do normalfags use this : Anonymous 08/03/23(Thu)20:32:31 No.95138139 >>95136935 (OP) # >give in and make a twitter account to look at japanese p---------- You get what you f------ deserve

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon orders a toy and has his life ruined | /r/Greentext

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Anon tells a story | /r/Greentext

Quick story >be me >on dev team >small part of which was UX for the customer portal >not the website, just the login page for our customers >marketing team asks me into a meeting >meeting is with the third party vendor that actually designs our marketing stuff >bunch of cute bitches, why not? >go into meeting >guy on the other side of the call sounds tired >1000 yard stare of a man that has to deal with nonsense all day >vietnam.jpg >marketing qt does the intros, and immediately dives in >"Ummm, okay, so yeah, ummm ... we want the website to pop!" >marketing girls giggle >guy responds in a tired voice >"I'm sorry, pop?" >"Yeah, ummm, we like, want it to really POP. But still be cleeeean!" >literally drags out the word clean >I swear the guy looks at me for a split second >makes eye contact >pleading >Being the coward that I apparently am ... I look away >feels bad, man >"So you want the color scheme to change?" >"No the colors are fine, we just want it to, you know, like, POP!"

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Anon is an accessory | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (190 KB, 816x816) Anonymous 09/30/15 (Wed)19:23:05 No.644104344 ► >be me >high school, betafag >don't have any friends, so I just chill in the library every day >one day new kid transfers to my school, Mexican beanerfag >make friends with him cause he's beta too >hang out with him all year, get really close >make fun of him for being a w------, he doesn't care >find out he's a pyromaniac >lights everything he can on fire >lolwut but don't really care cause he's chill >one night at the end of the year he calls me at night >"im gonna set the warehouse on 4th street on fire, come with me anon" >tell him no, I'm not insane >he says whatever, hangs up >don't think much of it, he's cooky but he's not a madman >next day watching local news >"warehouse on 4th caught aflame last night, charred body found inside" >he isn't at school that day >turns out he did it and accidentally burned to death >mfw Jesús died for arsons Anonymous 09/30/15(Wed)19:26:05 No.644104808 ► underrated/10

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Anon on a missing person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Alicia Navarro, 18, FLEES with 36-year-old man she was living with at Montana apartment-days after autistic teenager reappeared four years after she vanished 08/02/23 (Wed)11:41:36 No.74245105 195 KB JPG >14 year old girl goes missing >Whole community searches for her for years >To no avail, nobody can find her >4 years later >She comes to the police station, asking to get taken off the missing list because she wants a drivers license >Turns out she was living with a man half her age this whole time >Investigators and prosecutors cannot do anything about it because she is an adult and will not comply Could you give me any other news stories that have wholesome happy endings? 331 Replies / 31 Images View Thread

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Anon is kissless | /r/Greentext

suifuel #1, No. 74257571 2 hours ago 1649667737139 JPG 1024x1006 129.3 kB Unfortunataly, the clock is ting the train to The stress, the ShareP De viu un >be 13 >school camp >obstacle course, at the end is a post and if you get to the end you kiss the post >reply "are you sure about that?" >ff 10 years to the week >still haven't kissed a girl When did it all go so bad? derstand >lipstick marks on the post from girls kissing it >kiss one of the lipstick marks and mention it to the boys >bantz like haha anon's finally had his first kiss matrast

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Anon has a hot girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous You wanna go out sometime? yes. 156 KB PNG (1/2) >straight cis guy >3 years ago No.25517524 >started to know her some more when she started transitioning in college >she fell into a small friend group I was part of and we got to know each other better as friends >start going out with my current MtF girlfriend >knew her for a little while as a guy, but not super well >she had a boyfriend early on in transition who was terrible to her, they ended up breaking up and she got super depressed. Anonymous >I found her approachable, despite not being a ladies man myself >we got along well, and I found her attractive even though she was a little androgynous, so I said 'screw it' and asked her out. It was just as a low pressure thing to lift her spirits. She was hesitant but she agreed. >we had a few dates on which she really brightened up and we got along super well one on one >she had a lot of self image issues both because of her dysphoria and prior bad relationship >we worked through it, I was pretty clueless, but I did what I figure girls liked, got her flowers, told her she was pretty, and I tried to support her when she was down. (2/2) >ff a few years >I didn't think it would get so crazy serious, but we really started to fall for each other quickly. >as more of herself started to shine through, I became really attracted to her and she saw something in me too, I guess >we stuck it out and moved in together after I graduated No.25517536 >we're still together, going strong >she's been on hormones a while now, and had, I think, all the surgeries she wants to get. >her dysphoria is mostly gone at this point and she's a really happy person which makes me happy too >she's come out of her shell so much and is such a confident person compared to before >not only that, and I hope this doesn't sound too shallow, but slowly but surely, she got hot, crazy hot >it baffles me just how out of my league this woman is >I'm not a burn victim or anything, but I'm an admittedly barely average looking lanky guy who's well on his way to a dad bod before he hits thirty >meanwhile my gf is like a supermodel and she still looks at me like I'm an absolute stud >I come back from work and she's like a lovesick puppy there to greet me >I wake up in the morning to see her adorable little face cuddled up into me >I take her out and she dresses up for me like it's a first date. >seriously I sometimes worry about her leaving me for someone else, but for whatever reason, she's enamored with me. >investment paid off I guess and I hit the jackpot >but I think the time's come where all doubts are gone and I'm finally going to ask this woman to marry me. >we talked about it a little a while ago, but we both were cool with not rushing ahead with things, and she really wanted to get her surgeries out of the way so she could feel like herself on her wedding day. >I've had the ring for a while and now that she's in a good place transition-wise, I want to pop the question. I don't come here too often, but here's a feel good story I guess, plus I get to brag about my hot gf. I'm really bad at coming up with sappy romantic stuff though, so if anyone has a memorable way to ask her to marry me, I'm open to suggestions.

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Anon is a surgeon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god

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Anon asks whether he should still seek women or not | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous TEEN PONER HAD ALREADY LOST 173 KB JPG 07/27/23(Thu)09:49:29 No.74171965 Should I just give up on dating altogether? >bald >24 >5 foot 7 >quadroon >small hands >extremely introverted >not funny >possibly autistic but I am not sure >ugly asymmetrical face >scared of girls >erectile dysfunction Its over for me isnt it? I have gotten laid before but I had to be somewhat drunk just to talk to the girl beforehand I just wanted to have a wife and children but I dont think I have the genetics nor personality for that

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Anon forgor he was gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/23(Thu)09:06:19 No.29500278 16 KB JPG >be a f-- the majority of my life >what i feared from women i wanted from men instead >years go by, realising faggy men are kind of annoying, too much effort to soak up to them >decide to start dating women and removing the guilt of liking good looking women after years of feminist propoganda >h-------- >literally all the stuff i wanted from men women could do no problem >better asses >cuter personalities >easier to flirt with >smell nice >realise what i like about men i can find in women easily >now turned off by f--- and love women and their c---- I don't know what happened. I think I just got tired of gay p--- overall mainly and it slowly made the whole facade feel more insincere. Now I have to restrain myself for going full horny because my brain will be fried. I f------ love women too much now. I don't understand the hate. You f------ lied to me. 08/03/23(Thu)16:27:51 No.29501934 : Anonymous >>29500278 (OP) # Did you just realize you are not gay?

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Anon meets the demolitionman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/27/14(Mon)00:15:42 No.23379858► >>23379894 >>23379901 >>23379919 >>23379970 >>23380192 >>23380293 >>23381277 >>23381931 >>23 >join Army in 2003 >know-nothing PV2, deployed to Iraq 3 weeks after hitting duty station >tower guard >chinese rocket rattles in, gets stuck in the ladder to my guard tower >freaking the f--- out, calling anybody and everybody on the radio cuz can't get out of tower without climbing over this rocket >platoon daddy finally gets on radio and is all "calm your t---, EOD is on the way" >20 minutes later, lone hungry skellington of a guy pulls up in a Hilux >wearing nothing but ranger panties and flipflops >as soon as he opens the door the entire area is flooded with the stench of stale beer and vomit >he stands there, pondering this 5' long rocket stuck in a ladder for like 20 minutes >walks around a little >pukes violently for like 10 minutes straight >finally hollers up the tower, "you f------ alright?" >uh, yeah? You gonna get rid of it before it blows up or what? >"Eh. I'll try. You might wanna sit on your vests tho." >walks off into the night >gone like 30 minutes >comes back with one of those 6' long copper grounding rods the fuelers use on their trucks >climbs halfway up the ladder and STARTS WHACKING THE ROCKET WITH THE COPPER ROD >does this for like 30 minutes >sweating and swearing, falls off the ladder like 4x >rocket finally breaks in half, falls out of the ladder (it was like 10' up) >EOD guy picks up the two thoroughly-beaten halves and just chucks them over the Hesco barriers >BOOM >warhead goes off as soon as it lands on the other side >me and fellow tower guard (also a PV2) just about s--- ourselves as shrapnel comes up through the floor of the tower >good thing we took his advice and sat on our vests, ~3" piece of steel stuck in one of my SAPI plates >look over the side >guy is bewildered looking >ask him if he's alright >"yeah. Just...they usually go off before I get that far..." >guy shrugs, gets back in his hilux, and putts off into the night >there is literally no reaction image to describe my face

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But wait, there’s more | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: dqC/ZtwA) Giuliani f------ snapped Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski - 5h Transcript of an audio tape filed in the lawsuit by his former assistant. Not hearsay, not her saying it, Rudy's voice on tape. Trump's friend, lawyer and nightly guest of right-wing media. You all should be so proud to stand with Rudy. 08/02/23(Wed)17:29:48 No.43667233 1 MR. GIULIANI: Come here, b-------. 2 Come here, b-------. Your t--- belong to me. 3 Give them to me (indiscernible). I want to claim 4 my t---. I want to claim my t---. I want to 5 claim my t---. These are my t---. 6 MS. DUNPHY: Oh, yeah. 7 MR. GIULIANI: These breasts belong to 8 me. Nobody else can get near these, okay? I 9 don't care if they're flirting or they give you 10 business cards. These are mine, you got it? 11 12 MS. DUNPHY: Yes. MR. GIULIANI: Understand? I'm very 13 f------ possessive. I've gone easy on you. MS. DUNPHY: I don't know. 14 15 16 17 18 Give them to me. 19 MR. GIULIANI: I've been easy on you. MS. DUNPHY: You're pretty tough on me. MR. GIULIANI: I've been easy on you. 2,020 4,730 MS. DUNPHY: Maybe -- Ⓒ Anonymous (ID: dqC/ZtwA) These recordings from his lawsuit have him saying some of craziest s--- you've ever heard IMG_6322.jpg 415 KB JPG Q82 Ben Collins @oneunderscore 1h Good stuff by @ryanbort. 12.3K 2.1M 1 rollingstone.com/politics/polit... Rolling Stone Page 2 08/02/23(Wed)17:30:45 No.436672424 >>436672330 (OP) # But wait, there's more Giuliani railed against how Jewish people "want to go through that freaking Passover all the time" and how they should "get over the Passover" because it was 3,000 years ago. "OK, the Red Sea parted," the transcript reads. "Big deal. Not the first time that happened." 12 590 Giuliani doesn't elaborate on other instances when the Red Sea was parted. 3,263 228K IMG_6323.jpg 275 KB JPG SUBSCRIBE https://twitter.com/oneunderscore /status/1686828349060956160 >>436673675 # >>436673872 # >>436674356 # >>436674507 # ↑

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Anon Plugs The Drain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/23(Thu)07:58:56 No.74258401 化 Screenshot 2023-08-03 085532.png 231 KB PNG >rubba dub dub >my c-- clogged grandmas tub

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