Anon is a surgeon | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon asks whether he should still seek women or not | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous TEEN PONER HAD ALREADY LOST 173 KB JPG 07/27/23(Thu)09:49:29 No.74171965 Should I just give up on dating altogether? >bald >24 >5 foot 7 >quadroon >small hands >extremely introverted >not funny >possibly autistic but I am not sure >ugly asymmetrical face >scared of girls >erectile dysfunction Its over for me isnt it? I have gotten laid before but I had to be somewhat drunk just to talk to the girl beforehand I just wanted to have a wife and children but I dont think I have the genetics nor personality for that

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Anon forgor he was gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/23(Thu)09:06:19 No.29500278 16 KB JPG >be a f-- the majority of my life >what i feared from women i wanted from men instead >years go by, realising faggy men are kind of annoying, too much effort to soak up to them >decide to start dating women and removing the guilt of liking good looking women after years of feminist propoganda >h-------- >literally all the stuff i wanted from men women could do no problem >better asses >cuter personalities >easier to flirt with >smell nice >realise what i like about men i can find in women easily >now turned off by f--- and love women and their c---- I don't know what happened. I think I just got tired of gay p--- overall mainly and it slowly made the whole facade feel more insincere. Now I have to restrain myself for going full horny because my brain will be fried. I f------ love women too much now. I don't understand the hate. You f------ lied to me. 08/03/23(Thu)16:27:51 No.29501934 : Anonymous >>29500278 (OP) # Did you just realize you are not gay?

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Anon meets the demolitionman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/27/14(Mon)00:15:42 No.23379858► >>23379894 >>23379901 >>23379919 >>23379970 >>23380192 >>23380293 >>23381277 >>23381931 >>23 >join Army in 2003 >know-nothing PV2, deployed to Iraq 3 weeks after hitting duty station >tower guard >chinese rocket rattles in, gets stuck in the ladder to my guard tower >freaking the f--- out, calling anybody and everybody on the radio cuz can't get out of tower without climbing over this rocket >platoon daddy finally gets on radio and is all "calm your t---, EOD is on the way" >20 minutes later, lone hungry skellington of a guy pulls up in a Hilux >wearing nothing but ranger panties and flipflops >as soon as he opens the door the entire area is flooded with the stench of stale beer and vomit >he stands there, pondering this 5' long rocket stuck in a ladder for like 20 minutes >walks around a little >pukes violently for like 10 minutes straight >finally hollers up the tower, "you f------ alright?" >uh, yeah? You gonna get rid of it before it blows up or what? >"Eh. I'll try. You might wanna sit on your vests tho." >walks off into the night >gone like 30 minutes >comes back with one of those 6' long copper grounding rods the fuelers use on their trucks >climbs halfway up the ladder and STARTS WHACKING THE ROCKET WITH THE COPPER ROD >does this for like 30 minutes >sweating and swearing, falls off the ladder like 4x >rocket finally breaks in half, falls out of the ladder (it was like 10' up) >EOD guy picks up the two thoroughly-beaten halves and just chucks them over the Hesco barriers >BOOM >warhead goes off as soon as it lands on the other side >me and fellow tower guard (also a PV2) just about s--- ourselves as shrapnel comes up through the floor of the tower >good thing we took his advice and sat on our vests, ~3" piece of steel stuck in one of my SAPI plates >look over the side >guy is bewildered looking >ask him if he's alright >"yeah. Just...they usually go off before I get that far..." >guy shrugs, gets back in his hilux, and putts off into the night >there is literally no reaction image to describe my face

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But wait, there’s more | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: dqC/ZtwA) Giuliani f------ snapped Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski - 5h Transcript of an audio tape filed in the lawsuit by his former assistant. Not hearsay, not her saying it, Rudy's voice on tape. Trump's friend, lawyer and nightly guest of right-wing media. You all should be so proud to stand with Rudy. 08/02/23(Wed)17:29:48 No.43667233 1 MR. GIULIANI: Come here, b-------. 2 Come here, b-------. Your t--- belong to me. 3 Give them to me (indiscernible). I want to claim 4 my t---. I want to claim my t---. I want to 5 claim my t---. These are my t---. 6 MS. DUNPHY: Oh, yeah. 7 MR. GIULIANI: These breasts belong to 8 me. Nobody else can get near these, okay? I 9 don't care if they're flirting or they give you 10 business cards. These are mine, you got it? 11 12 MS. DUNPHY: Yes. MR. GIULIANI: Understand? I'm very 13 f------ possessive. I've gone easy on you. MS. DUNPHY: I don't know. 14 15 16 17 18 Give them to me. 19 MR. GIULIANI: I've been easy on you. MS. DUNPHY: You're pretty tough on me. MR. GIULIANI: I've been easy on you. 2,020 4,730 MS. DUNPHY: Maybe -- Ⓒ Anonymous (ID: dqC/ZtwA) These recordings from his lawsuit have him saying some of craziest s--- you've ever heard IMG_6322.jpg 415 KB JPG Q82 Ben Collins @oneunderscore 1h Good stuff by @ryanbort. 12.3K 2.1M 1 rollingstone.com/politics/polit... Rolling Stone Page 2 08/02/23(Wed)17:30:45 No.436672424 >>436672330 (OP) # But wait, there's more Giuliani railed against how Jewish people "want to go through that freaking Passover all the time" and how they should "get over the Passover" because it was 3,000 years ago. "OK, the Red Sea parted," the transcript reads. "Big deal. Not the first time that happened." 12 590 Giuliani doesn't elaborate on other instances when the Red Sea was parted. 3,263 228K IMG_6323.jpg 275 KB JPG SUBSCRIBE https://twitter.com/oneunderscore /status/1686828349060956160 >>436673675 # >>436673872 # >>436674356 # >>436674507 # ↑

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Anon Plugs The Drain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/23(Thu)07:58:56 No.74258401 化 Screenshot 2023-08-03 085532.png 231 KB PNG >rubba dub dub >my c-- clogged grandmas tub

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Anon talks being on r/greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 55 KB PNG 08/02/23(Wed)09:21:17 No.74248364 >be on r/greentext >think of a funny comment >this will make them laugh >this will make them love me >this will get me net scores >pause when the mouse is at send >it doesnt even f------ matter >back out >come to r9k >make greentext instead >gets put on reddit for someone elses coins

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Anon has fallen asleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/23(Wed)16:39:56 No.74250048 11 KB JPG >be me >laying down on bed while masturbating >suddenly my eyes starts closing down >remember daddy opens door occasionally to check me (Forgot to close door, also lazy to close it) >"f---, daddy will found me sleep with hand on c---. what to do?" >waked up don't remembering what happened >c-- in ass Ok, what the f--- happened there?

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Anon orders Chinese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 这个悲伤的男人需要好猫 PORO 94 KB PNG 04/06/23( Thu)13:59:07 No.72846819 > be me > were outside drinking with my friends > not really feeling the vibe tonight, without going into details I just had a s----- day > there is this Chinese restaurant I always order from > Im a regular there > I go in and order the same meal I have ordered for over a year > I always tip a few bucks extra since it looks like they need the extra bucks > as a result I get extra rice and fortune cookies > this time they noticed I was down > I hear the Chinese chef say something in Chinese > after a while i Get my meal but this time i also Get my money back > they say in a broken english > Today meal is free you happy man > makes me feel better > i will now always order from these people > made my night much better

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Anon hates radio music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/23 (Wed)07:31:32 No.74241962 nelson-armpit-fart.gif 1.4 MB GIF >enter room with radio on >LOVEMELOVEMELOVEMELOVEME >RULETHEWORLDRULETHEWORLDRULETH- >(slurring drooling nasally percussively spittle spraying speak-singing/jail slam poetry) >(high pitch falsetto submissive broken male crying about women or existing or something) is this some sort of emotional disregulator device? how do people listen to this all day?

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Anon orders pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 155 KB JPG 07/27/15(Mon)21:29:23 No.630879728 >be me >few years back >having party with 12 ish friends >order za >total is $45 or something >give him $50 and say thanks >he says "hey man, it's pretty rough for me right now. can you spare some more?" >i tell him no, $5 is already enough >pizza guy freaks out and yells "Does anyone have an extra ten for the pizza? This guy's short" >friend pulls out a $20 and tries to hand it to the guy >pizza guy takes the $20 and runs >called up the pizza store >complained >fired >guy came back >saw on my security camera >key'd my car >broke my window >smashed the pot with my bonsai inside >report it >show cops video >he's arrested >fined and charged

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Avon passed the wrong test | /r/Greentext

61 KB JPG >reading some article about childhood autism >"often times, children afflicted with high functioning autism will speak more like little adults than kids, using larger vocabularies and more mature inflections" >haha I was always told I talked like an adult when I was young. Crazy >"children with autism also tend to dislike irregular sensations like wet hair, shirt tags rubbing their skin, or damp clothing" >oh man I hated those feelings as a kid lol >"autistic kids tend to play "pretend" imagination games long after other kids have grown out of it" >flashbacks to protecting my pillow fort from the ninja assassins at age 13 >oh f---, am I legit autistic? >find an autism test on some health website >50 questions >answer them all truthfully >"as per our results you show an above average amount of traits and characteristics shown in those with autism. High function autism VERY likely" Mfw my parents thought I was a smart kid because of how I spoke but really I'm just autistic as s---

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Anon fixes his internet | /r/Greentext

File: 1690190597507190.jpg (18 KB, 484x496) I am going to f------ kill myself Anonymous 08/01/23(Tue)12:51:02 No.74237761 >Internet stops working >ISP sends some dude out to fix s--- >Parents aren't home >Doorbell rings, it's the dude >Open the door to extremely Chinese man >Welcome him in, show him where the network s--- in the garage is >shooting the s--- with him, he's a funny guy >talking about internet stuff, little bit of life stuff >"I shee yore father is a handsome man, haha" >I laugh and tell him 'thanks, but I get the looks from my mother' >mfw he said "handyman" >mfw he was referring to all the tools on the wall of the garage That's it. I'm f------ killing myself tonight.

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