Anon is an accessory | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: image.jpg (190 KB, 816x816) Anonymous 09/30/15 (Wed)19:23:05 No.644104344 ► >be me >high school, betafag >don't have any friends, so I just chill in the library every day >one day new kid transfers to my school, Mexican beanerfag >make friends with him cause he's beta too >hang out with him all year, get really close >make fun of him for being a w------, he doesn't care >find out he's a pyromaniac >lights everything he can on fire >lolwut but don't really care cause he's chill >one night at the end of the year he calls me at night >"im gonna set the warehouse on 4th street on fire, come with me anon" >tell him no, I'm not insane >he says whatever, hangs up >don't think much of it, he's cooky but he's not a madman >next day watching local news >"warehouse on 4th caught aflame last night, charred body found inside" >he isn't at school that day >turns out he did it and accidentally burned to death >mfw Jesús died for arsons Anonymous 09/30/15(Wed)19:26:05 No.644104808 ► underrated/10

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon on a missing person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Alicia Navarro, 18, FLEES with 36-year-old man she was living with at Montana apartment-days after autistic teenager reappeared four years after she vanished 08/02/23 (Wed)11:41:36 No.74245105 195 KB JPG >14 year old girl goes missing >Whole community searches for her for years >To no avail, nobody can find her >4 years later >She comes to the police station, asking to get taken off the missing list because she wants a drivers license >Turns out she was living with a man half her age this whole time >Investigators and prosecutors cannot do anything about it because she is an adult and will not comply Could you give me any other news stories that have wholesome happy endings? 331 Replies / 31 Images View Thread

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Anon is kissless | /r/Greentext

suifuel #1, No. 74257571 2 hours ago 1649667737139 JPG 1024x1006 129.3 kB Unfortunataly, the clock is ting the train to The stress, the ShareP De viu un >be 13 >school camp >obstacle course, at the end is a post and if you get to the end you kiss the post >reply "are you sure about that?" >ff 10 years to the week >still haven't kissed a girl When did it all go so bad? derstand >lipstick marks on the post from girls kissing it >kiss one of the lipstick marks and mention it to the boys >bantz like haha anon's finally had his first kiss matrast

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Anon has a hot girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous You wanna go out sometime? yes. 156 KB PNG (1/2) >straight cis guy >3 years ago No.25517524 >started to know her some more when she started transitioning in college >she fell into a small friend group I was part of and we got to know each other better as friends >start going out with my current MtF girlfriend >knew her for a little while as a guy, but not super well >she had a boyfriend early on in transition who was terrible to her, they ended up breaking up and she got super depressed. Anonymous >I found her approachable, despite not being a ladies man myself >we got along well, and I found her attractive even though she was a little androgynous, so I said 'screw it' and asked her out. It was just as a low pressure thing to lift her spirits. She was hesitant but she agreed. >we had a few dates on which she really brightened up and we got along super well one on one >she had a lot of self image issues both because of her dysphoria and prior bad relationship >we worked through it, I was pretty clueless, but I did what I figure girls liked, got her flowers, told her she was pretty, and I tried to support her when she was down. (2/2) >ff a few years >I didn't think it would get so crazy serious, but we really started to fall for each other quickly. >as more of herself started to shine through, I became really attracted to her and she saw something in me too, I guess >we stuck it out and moved in together after I graduated No.25517536 >we're still together, going strong >she's been on hormones a while now, and had, I think, all the surgeries she wants to get. >her dysphoria is mostly gone at this point and she's a really happy person which makes me happy too >she's come out of her shell so much and is such a confident person compared to before >not only that, and I hope this doesn't sound too shallow, but slowly but surely, she got hot, crazy hot >it baffles me just how out of my league this woman is >I'm not a burn victim or anything, but I'm an admittedly barely average looking lanky guy who's well on his way to a dad bod before he hits thirty >meanwhile my gf is like a supermodel and she still looks at me like I'm an absolute stud >I come back from work and she's like a lovesick puppy there to greet me >I wake up in the morning to see her adorable little face cuddled up into me >I take her out and she dresses up for me like it's a first date. >seriously I sometimes worry about her leaving me for someone else, but for whatever reason, she's enamored with me. >investment paid off I guess and I hit the jackpot >but I think the time's come where all doubts are gone and I'm finally going to ask this woman to marry me. >we talked about it a little a while ago, but we both were cool with not rushing ahead with things, and she really wanted to get her surgeries out of the way so she could feel like herself on her wedding day. >I've had the ring for a while and now that she's in a good place transition-wise, I want to pop the question. I don't come here too often, but here's a feel good story I guess, plus I get to brag about my hot gf. I'm really bad at coming up with sappy romantic stuff though, so if anyone has a memorable way to ask her to marry me, I'm open to suggestions.

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Anon is a surgeon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god

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Anon asks whether he should still seek women or not | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous TEEN PONER HAD ALREADY LOST 173 KB JPG 07/27/23(Thu)09:49:29 No.74171965 Should I just give up on dating altogether? >bald >24 >5 foot 7 >quadroon >small hands >extremely introverted >not funny >possibly autistic but I am not sure >ugly asymmetrical face >scared of girls >erectile dysfunction Its over for me isnt it? I have gotten laid before but I had to be somewhat drunk just to talk to the girl beforehand I just wanted to have a wife and children but I dont think I have the genetics nor personality for that

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Anon forgor he was gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/23(Thu)09:06:19 No.29500278 16 KB JPG >be a f-- the majority of my life >what i feared from women i wanted from men instead >years go by, realising faggy men are kind of annoying, too much effort to soak up to them >decide to start dating women and removing the guilt of liking good looking women after years of feminist propoganda >h-------- >literally all the stuff i wanted from men women could do no problem >better asses >cuter personalities >easier to flirt with >smell nice >realise what i like about men i can find in women easily >now turned off by f--- and love women and their c---- I don't know what happened. I think I just got tired of gay p--- overall mainly and it slowly made the whole facade feel more insincere. Now I have to restrain myself for going full horny because my brain will be fried. I f------ love women too much now. I don't understand the hate. You f------ lied to me. 08/03/23(Thu)16:27:51 No.29501934 : Anonymous >>29500278 (OP) # Did you just realize you are not gay?

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Anon meets the demolitionman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/27/14(Mon)00:15:42 No.23379858► >>23379894 >>23379901 >>23379919 >>23379970 >>23380192 >>23380293 >>23381277 >>23381931 >>23 >join Army in 2003 >know-nothing PV2, deployed to Iraq 3 weeks after hitting duty station >tower guard >chinese rocket rattles in, gets stuck in the ladder to my guard tower >freaking the f--- out, calling anybody and everybody on the radio cuz can't get out of tower without climbing over this rocket >platoon daddy finally gets on radio and is all "calm your t---, EOD is on the way" >20 minutes later, lone hungry skellington of a guy pulls up in a Hilux >wearing nothing but ranger panties and flipflops >as soon as he opens the door the entire area is flooded with the stench of stale beer and vomit >he stands there, pondering this 5' long rocket stuck in a ladder for like 20 minutes >walks around a little >pukes violently for like 10 minutes straight >finally hollers up the tower, "you f------ alright?" >uh, yeah? You gonna get rid of it before it blows up or what? >"Eh. I'll try. You might wanna sit on your vests tho." >walks off into the night >gone like 30 minutes >comes back with one of those 6' long copper grounding rods the fuelers use on their trucks >climbs halfway up the ladder and STARTS WHACKING THE ROCKET WITH THE COPPER ROD >does this for like 30 minutes >sweating and swearing, falls off the ladder like 4x >rocket finally breaks in half, falls out of the ladder (it was like 10' up) >EOD guy picks up the two thoroughly-beaten halves and just chucks them over the Hesco barriers >BOOM >warhead goes off as soon as it lands on the other side >me and fellow tower guard (also a PV2) just about s--- ourselves as shrapnel comes up through the floor of the tower >good thing we took his advice and sat on our vests, ~3" piece of steel stuck in one of my SAPI plates >look over the side >guy is bewildered looking >ask him if he's alright >"yeah. Just...they usually go off before I get that far..." >guy shrugs, gets back in his hilux, and putts off into the night >there is literally no reaction image to describe my face

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But wait, there’s more | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: dqC/ZtwA) Giuliani f------ snapped Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski - 5h Transcript of an audio tape filed in the lawsuit by his former assistant. Not hearsay, not her saying it, Rudy's voice on tape. Trump's friend, lawyer and nightly guest of right-wing media. You all should be so proud to stand with Rudy. 08/02/23(Wed)17:29:48 No.43667233 1 MR. GIULIANI: Come here, b-------. 2 Come here, b-------. Your t--- belong to me. 3 Give them to me (indiscernible). I want to claim 4 my t---. I want to claim my t---. I want to 5 claim my t---. These are my t---. 6 MS. DUNPHY: Oh, yeah. 7 MR. GIULIANI: These breasts belong to 8 me. Nobody else can get near these, okay? I 9 don't care if they're flirting or they give you 10 business cards. These are mine, you got it? 11 12 MS. DUNPHY: Yes. MR. GIULIANI: Understand? I'm very 13 f------ possessive. I've gone easy on you. MS. DUNPHY: I don't know. 14 15 16 17 18 Give them to me. 19 MR. GIULIANI: I've been easy on you. MS. DUNPHY: You're pretty tough on me. MR. GIULIANI: I've been easy on you. 2,020 4,730 MS. DUNPHY: Maybe -- Ⓒ Anonymous (ID: dqC/ZtwA) These recordings from his lawsuit have him saying some of craziest s--- you've ever heard IMG_6322.jpg 415 KB JPG Q82 Ben Collins @oneunderscore 1h Good stuff by @ryanbort. 12.3K 2.1M 1 rollingstone.com/politics/polit... Rolling Stone Page 2 08/02/23(Wed)17:30:45 No.436672424 >>436672330 (OP) # But wait, there's more Giuliani railed against how Jewish people "want to go through that freaking Passover all the time" and how they should "get over the Passover" because it was 3,000 years ago. "OK, the Red Sea parted," the transcript reads. "Big deal. Not the first time that happened." 12 590 Giuliani doesn't elaborate on other instances when the Red Sea was parted. 3,263 228K IMG_6323.jpg 275 KB JPG SUBSCRIBE https://twitter.com/oneunderscore /status/1686828349060956160 >>436673675 # >>436673872 # >>436674356 # >>436674507 # ↑

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Anon Plugs The Drain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/23(Thu)07:58:56 No.74258401 化 Screenshot 2023-08-03 085532.png 231 KB PNG >rubba dub dub >my c-- clogged grandmas tub

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Anon talks being on r/greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 55 KB PNG 08/02/23(Wed)09:21:17 No.74248364 >be on r/greentext >think of a funny comment >this will make them laugh >this will make them love me >this will get me net scores >pause when the mouse is at send >it doesnt even f------ matter >back out >come to r9k >make greentext instead >gets put on reddit for someone elses coins

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Anon has fallen asleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/23(Wed)16:39:56 No.74250048 11 KB JPG >be me >laying down on bed while masturbating >suddenly my eyes starts closing down >remember daddy opens door occasionally to check me (Forgot to close door, also lazy to close it) >"f---, daddy will found me sleep with hand on c---. what to do?" >waked up don't remembering what happened >c-- in ass Ok, what the f--- happened there?

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Anon orders Chinese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 这个悲伤的男人需要好猫 PORO 94 KB PNG 04/06/23( Thu)13:59:07 No.72846819 > be me > were outside drinking with my friends > not really feeling the vibe tonight, without going into details I just had a s----- day > there is this Chinese restaurant I always order from > Im a regular there > I go in and order the same meal I have ordered for over a year > I always tip a few bucks extra since it looks like they need the extra bucks > as a result I get extra rice and fortune cookies > this time they noticed I was down > I hear the Chinese chef say something in Chinese > after a while i Get my meal but this time i also Get my money back > they say in a broken english > Today meal is free you happy man > makes me feel better > i will now always order from these people > made my night much better

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