Anon doesn't know. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

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Baked out of existence | /r/Greentext

ARIAN JPG | 913.61 KB Saturday 2024-02-17 06:56:30 4 hours ago >be me >own my own small bakery >worked a lot of hours in other people's bakeries to make this happen >handsome but autistic around women. >have trouble interacting with customers at first >get better with time >realize i'm improving >fake it till you make it >become able to hold interesting conversations with customers >start getting repeat customers and regulars >get flirted with regularly >eventually have a few super cute customers (early to mid 20s) >one comes and hangs out just to hang out and talk >after a few separate days of her hanging around, summon courage and ask her out >have boyfriend, but 'you'd be next in line.' >'didn't know you did, but i figure'd i'd never get an answer if i never asked.' >next day >learn about negative online review talking about me >'i thought i was coming here for breads, not to get perved on. >soul broken >confidence gone i just wanna dissolve anons.

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Anon's regretful mistake | /r/Greentext

F4F7C388-F46E-47D3-B2FA-0(...).jpg (23 KB, 250x242) Anonymous 11/24/21 (Wed)13:28:03 No.867323934 >Be me >teach grandma what cringe means >fast forward months later >I show her the meme I made >She calls it cringe

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Anon finds out why the crime rate is so low | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I really hate this! 252 KB PNG 02/12/24(Mon)05:18:33 No.2617425 Why are japanese cops so useless? >be me >witness a crime >run to report it >tell them someone is stealing from someone and I saw it on my phone >guy is still doing it and right around the corner >cop asks me what I think I am doing >wut.mp4 >tells me video taping people without consent is illegal >tell him someone is still breaking the law >see guy leave bar >try to explain to cop with my N3 skills that the bad guy is getting away >cop does nothing and says I am wasting his time >tells me he will write me a ticket if I don't leave W-- I just moved here for my job teaching english and this is my first bar night? What the f--- japan this is suppose to be safe?

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Australia overseer | /r/Greentext

few days later, breaking news alert > he died of the food > be me > straight > recently got new job as chief australian overseer > I am tasked with overseeing the australians > making sure they get their feed, water, ect > also have to make sure they don't breach containment Anonymous 02/16/24(Fri)21:18:26 No.76483538 ► > only 3 have ever escaped and made it off the island, the first two died instantly when they tried western food (their feed is bland) > third was hitler mfw > one day, breach detected > no biggie, it's fairly common. usually the electric fence scares them back > electric fence is offline for maintenance > failing that, there's a minefield around it, but it doesn't detect bikes so employees can move around > it found a bike > shitshitshit > strike helicopters deployed they sucessfully hit him, his body is launched miles high upon further inspection the body turns out to be a ragdoll, he has escaped shitshitshitshit nothing more we can do waiting for the inevitable giga hitler news > s---, serious problem > before snipers can be deployed, he steals a boat and gets behind cover > scientists are studying his body > i may have destroyed the whole operation gonna lose my job

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anonette has a free speech problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/24(Fri) 15:56:56 No.914030545 >be picrel >in discord server >friend owns it >friend allows us to do whatever we want, free speech >friend quits, gives server to my ex >ex goes full discord mod, removes all free speech >get banned well it was fun, link here 2e33X9v9an 13 KB JPG

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Workaround | /r/Greentext

JPG | 553.58 KB Friday 2024-02-16 23:18:57 4 minutes ago >be me >no real possibility of gf for the usual reasons >have some copes >best cope I have found is being a work husband >work husband is basically the coworker that helps a woman out at her job >covers for her sometimes, does the harder tasks, stuff like that >relationship can be really nice >have been a work husband for some qt3.14's over the years >there can be some flirting and touching >it isn't genuine, it's kind of being taken advantage of, but that is the nature of a cope Dear lord, please send me a qt3.14 with big booba who I can work husband for.

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Anon makes a Question | /r/Greentext

File: R (8).jpg (33 KB, 600x463) MUL Are human centipedes based or cringe? Anonymous (ID: HmY//pgt) 02/16/24(Fri) 15 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. □ Anonymous (ID: 80Y5OKO2) >>458794077 (OP) YUMMY 02/16/24(Fri)01:49:50 No.458794599 Anonymous (ID: e24uN210) 02/16/24(Fri)01:50:00 No.458794612 ▶ >>458794077 (OP) Unironically best thread on /pol/

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Funny how he's referred to as "blondy" a couple of times but nobody ever acknowledges his whiskers. One would think that in a universe where people can have pink and blue hair, having whiskers would be a more defining characteristic. | /r/Greentext

File: 1686936406460.jpg (28 KB, 635x483) S ☐ Anonymous 02/16/24(Fri)21:17:39 No.196330188 ► >>196330210 >>196330240 >>196330351 >>196330364 >>196330368 >>196330784 >>196330964 >>196331086 >The only blond haired blue eyed boy in the village. >None of the girls except for Hinata feel an inkling of attraction towards him until much later in the series. Are whiskers really that big of a dealbreaker?

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I have nothing to show, but the show must go on. | /r/Greentext

JPG | 118.11 KB Friday 2024-02-16 19:20:02 2 hours ago I think I'm starting to miss my doomer lifestyle >tfw i get a gf >but now i miss being alone on friday and saturday nights >where i can listen to whatever music i want, watch whatever videos on youtube i want, play whatever vidya i want >i can't just relax and do whatever i want, i have to do things she enjoys too >i am no longer i solely indivualistic person, now i hjave to always think about her and what she wants >i can't live in a doomer commieblock or live in cold weather because she hates that f---, only six months ago i would have traded all of it in for a gf, but now that i got a gf i miss my depressed lonely doomer lifestyle......

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>he fell for the 'stay friends' trap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 56 KB JPG 02/17/24(Sat)00:17:59 No.76481355 >Be me >Started college in the fall >Quickly became friends with a girl >We shared lots of interests and talked all the time >We went to sports games together >She took me downtown to eat >She was the only person I really hung out with >Have been friends for like 6 months now >I asked her out and she said no >It felt like she genuinely liked me and I felt heartbroken >Decided to stay "friends" anyways >Now she doesn't talk to me as much >She never wants to hang out anymore >When we do she barely talks to me and keeps her distance How did I f--- this up???? Did I wait too long? Did she get bored of me? I'm distraught

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not ur typical ">be me >straight" | /r/Greentext

: bg,f8f8f8-flat, 750x,075,f(...).jpg (56 KB, 750x1000) 7 Anonymous 02/16/24(Fri)11:16:08 No.914020862 >be me >stra- >no im not im a bisexual femboy this is a 4chan post retard >try dating on tinder >(oh yeah im white, brown hair brown eyes, 5'10) >all of the girls either dont match back or are ugly >get a few matches, most of them dont really like me that much, probably assuming id cheat on them for a guy. >finally get a match >completely fumble it, she blocks me when i tell her about being a bottom and wanting to get pegged, called a good boy, etc. >fuckthisshit.jpg >switch to men >instantly like 20 matches >guys showering me with praise, tall guys, buff guys, chubby guys, etc >most are nerds like me and enjoy my interests too. >finally find this 6'1 chubby guy who likes femboys >we match and we talk for a bit >he brings me to a resturant, i dress in femboyish clothes (pink hoodie, tight pants) >get topped later that evening by his 7 inch d--- i love my new bf. we moved in together and we play warhammer darktide together and cuddle and watch tv and i make him food.

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