Baked out of existence | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

ARIAN JPG | 913.61 KB Saturday 2024-02-17 06:56:30 4 hours ago >be me >own my own small bakery >worked a lot of hours in other people's bakeries to make this happen >handsome but autistic around women. >have trouble interacting with customers at first >get better with time >realize i'm improving >fake it till you make it >become able to hold interesting conversations with customers >start getting repeat customers and regulars >get flirted with regularly >eventually have a few super cute customers (early to mid 20s) >one comes and hangs out just to hang out and talk >after a few separate days of her hanging around, summon courage and ask her out >have boyfriend, but 'you'd be next in line.' >'didn't know you did, but i figure'd i'd never get an answer if i never asked.' >next day >learn about negative online review talking about me >'i thought i was coming here for breads, not to get perved on. >soul broken >confidence gone i just wanna dissolve anons.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon's regretful mistake | /r/Greentext

F4F7C388-F46E-47D3-B2FA-0(...).jpg (23 KB, 250x242) Anonymous 11/24/21 (Wed)13:28:03 No.867323934 >Be me >teach grandma what cringe means >fast forward months later >I show her the meme I made >She calls it cringe

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Anon finds out why the crime rate is so low | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I really hate this! 252 KB PNG 02/12/24(Mon)05:18:33 No.2617425 Why are japanese cops so useless? >be me >witness a crime >run to report it >tell them someone is stealing from someone and I saw it on my phone >guy is still doing it and right around the corner >cop asks me what I think I am doing >wut.mp4 >tells me video taping people without consent is illegal >tell him someone is still breaking the law >see guy leave bar >try to explain to cop with my N3 skills that the bad guy is getting away >cop does nothing and says I am wasting his time >tells me he will write me a ticket if I don't leave W-- I just moved here for my job teaching english and this is my first bar night? What the f--- japan this is suppose to be safe?

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Australia overseer | /r/Greentext

few days later, breaking news alert > he died of the food > be me > straight > recently got new job as chief australian overseer > I am tasked with overseeing the australians > making sure they get their feed, water, ect > also have to make sure they don't breach containment Anonymous 02/16/24(Fri)21:18:26 No.76483538 ► > only 3 have ever escaped and made it off the island, the first two died instantly when they tried western food (their feed is bland) > third was hitler mfw > one day, breach detected > no biggie, it's fairly common. usually the electric fence scares them back > electric fence is offline for maintenance > failing that, there's a minefield around it, but it doesn't detect bikes so employees can move around > it found a bike > shitshitshit > strike helicopters deployed they sucessfully hit him, his body is launched miles high upon further inspection the body turns out to be a ragdoll, he has escaped shitshitshitshit nothing more we can do waiting for the inevitable giga hitler news > s---, serious problem > before snipers can be deployed, he steals a boat and gets behind cover > scientists are studying his body > i may have destroyed the whole operation gonna lose my job

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anonette has a free speech problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/24(Fri) 15:56:56 No.914030545 >be picrel >in discord server >friend owns it >friend allows us to do whatever we want, free speech >friend quits, gives server to my ex >ex goes full discord mod, removes all free speech >get banned well it was fun, link here 2e33X9v9an 13 KB JPG

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Workaround | /r/Greentext

JPG | 553.58 KB Friday 2024-02-16 23:18:57 4 minutes ago >be me >no real possibility of gf for the usual reasons >have some copes >best cope I have found is being a work husband >work husband is basically the coworker that helps a woman out at her job >covers for her sometimes, does the harder tasks, stuff like that >relationship can be really nice >have been a work husband for some qt3.14's over the years >there can be some flirting and touching >it isn't genuine, it's kind of being taken advantage of, but that is the nature of a cope Dear lord, please send me a qt3.14 with big booba who I can work husband for.

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Anon makes a Question | /r/Greentext

File: R (8).jpg (33 KB, 600x463) MUL Are human centipedes based or cringe? Anonymous (ID: HmY//pgt) 02/16/24(Fri) 15 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. □ Anonymous (ID: 80Y5OKO2) >>458794077 (OP) YUMMY 02/16/24(Fri)01:49:50 No.458794599 Anonymous (ID: e24uN210) 02/16/24(Fri)01:50:00 No.458794612 ▶ >>458794077 (OP) Unironically best thread on /pol/

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Funny how he's referred to as "blondy" a couple of times but nobody ever acknowledges his whiskers. One would think that in a universe where people can have pink and blue hair, having whiskers would be a more defining characteristic. | /r/Greentext

File: 1686936406460.jpg (28 KB, 635x483) S ☐ Anonymous 02/16/24(Fri)21:17:39 No.196330188 ► >>196330210 >>196330240 >>196330351 >>196330364 >>196330368 >>196330784 >>196330964 >>196331086 >The only blond haired blue eyed boy in the village. >None of the girls except for Hinata feel an inkling of attraction towards him until much later in the series. Are whiskers really that big of a dealbreaker?

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I have nothing to show, but the show must go on. | /r/Greentext

JPG | 118.11 KB Friday 2024-02-16 19:20:02 2 hours ago I think I'm starting to miss my doomer lifestyle >tfw i get a gf >but now i miss being alone on friday and saturday nights >where i can listen to whatever music i want, watch whatever videos on youtube i want, play whatever vidya i want >i can't just relax and do whatever i want, i have to do things she enjoys too >i am no longer i solely indivualistic person, now i hjave to always think about her and what she wants >i can't live in a doomer commieblock or live in cold weather because she hates that f---, only six months ago i would have traded all of it in for a gf, but now that i got a gf i miss my depressed lonely doomer lifestyle......

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>he fell for the 'stay friends' trap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 56 KB JPG 02/17/24(Sat)00:17:59 No.76481355 >Be me >Started college in the fall >Quickly became friends with a girl >We shared lots of interests and talked all the time >We went to sports games together >She took me downtown to eat >She was the only person I really hung out with >Have been friends for like 6 months now >I asked her out and she said no >It felt like she genuinely liked me and I felt heartbroken >Decided to stay "friends" anyways >Now she doesn't talk to me as much >She never wants to hang out anymore >When we do she barely talks to me and keeps her distance How did I f--- this up???? Did I wait too long? Did she get bored of me? I'm distraught

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not ur typical ">be me >straight" | /r/Greentext

: bg,f8f8f8-flat, 750x,075,f(...).jpg (56 KB, 750x1000) 7 Anonymous 02/16/24(Fri)11:16:08 No.914020862 >be me >stra- >no im not im a bisexual femboy this is a 4chan post retard >try dating on tinder >(oh yeah im white, brown hair brown eyes, 5'10) >all of the girls either dont match back or are ugly >get a few matches, most of them dont really like me that much, probably assuming id cheat on them for a guy. >finally get a match >completely fumble it, she blocks me when i tell her about being a bottom and wanting to get pegged, called a good boy, etc. >fuckthisshit.jpg >switch to men >instantly like 20 matches >guys showering me with praise, tall guys, buff guys, chubby guys, etc >most are nerds like me and enjoy my interests too. >finally find this 6'1 chubby guy who likes femboys >we match and we talk for a bit >he brings me to a resturant, i dress in femboyish clothes (pink hoodie, tight pants) >get topped later that evening by his 7 inch d--- i love my new bf. we moved in together and we play warhammer darktide together and cuddle and watch tv and i make him food.

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Anon envisions the future of AI | /r/Greentext

File: 1708046078703829.webm (2.95 MB, 1280x688) Anonymous (ID: fbujf/x+ 102/15/24(Thu)20:58:38 No.458795185 >>458795345 >>458795355 >>458795398 >>458795590 >>458795806 >>458796202 >>458796562 >>458796657 >>458796736 >>458797350 >>458797555 >>458797722 >>458797991 >>458798056 >>458798241 >>458800900 >>458801975 >hehe look at his ai-made abomination >hehe look at this funny ai-made picture >pffft okay it looks passable but the hands are f----- >okay the hands look good but it always uses the same artstyle >okay it can almost perfectly copy different artstyles but it will never do video >okay it can do video but it isn't perfect YOU ARE NOW HERE >okay it perfected video but it can't innovate >sure, it can innovate but it will never be able to make videogames from scratch >I admit it, it can make videogames from scratch but it will never be able to think >okay it can create media but it can't make humans obsolete in other fields >okay it can speed up some jobs using Al tools >sure, some jobs are now obsolete and millions are unemployed but physical jobs will be fine >I admit it, we need UBI as literally everything we do is less efficient than Al >fine, it can think but it will never be used for nefarious ends >I pity the dead who will never have to endure this hell

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Most high functioning 4chan user | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 75 KB JPG 04/30/15(Thu)12:10:39 No.613049372 >middle school >school has walled off area to separate tards from the rest >get bright idea to hop wall >act retarded to blend in, dont want to be noticed and get in trouble >mfw tards had substitute >got stuck in tard class the rest of the day because sub didn't believe I wasnt a tard >>613049486 # >>613050454 # >>613051130 # >>613051245 #

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