Anon discovered the truth | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>be me >middle school >teacher is talking about std's >says you can only catch it by having relations with someone else >I conclude this is a fallacy since there had to be someone who had it without having sex and he's the one who started it <30 107 KB JPG >ask the teacher >"you can catch it by having sex anon" >know he didn't awnser the question on purpose but whatever >flash forward to now >i now know how patient zero caught aids >mfw my teacher didn't have the heart to tell me someone f----- a monkey

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon would want to go....... | /r/Greentext

>Wanna say "Let's go" and "okay" >Said "Let's gay" >Got weird looks

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Anon hates waking up in the morning | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 955 KB JPG >woke up noo 06/10/23(Sat)11:03:44 No.73626755

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Anon plays a prank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous prank gone wrong >be me >neet as f--- >slave for doordash so i can make a bit of money >get order from a femoid for a single kitkat bar delivered to some apartment building in a not-great part of town >pic related is special request, she asked if i can check if there's a silver cadillac in the parking lot >get the chocolate and drive over >look around parking lot >silver caddy spotted, the front windows are tinted but i can kinda see a guy is sitting inside >honestly figured it was a friend of hers or something >make my way inside and "deliver" the chocolate >tell her there isn't a silver car in the parking lot as a joke ELeave it at the door Leave at my door: u can throw it away or keep the chocolate can u just check if u see a silver cadillac car park in the parking lot please 06/10/23(Sat)17:43:04 No.73629940, 675 KB PNG >she thanks me, says i can keep the chocolate >drive off content with my free chocolate and my little prank >ffw to today >get a missing persons alert for a female matching her description and to look out for a silver colored cadillac CT6 uh oh bros Anonymous >>73629940 (OP) # Based Woman dosorvo death and rano 06/10/23(Sat)17:45:44 No.73629973

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Chris Chan cs Matt Walsh | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/10/23(Sat) 18:33:59 No.31392044 BROTHE IT IN. >>31392986 # channels4_profile.jpg 344 KB JPG what would a debate between these two look like? I believe chris is the best transgender philosopher for the job. Anonymous >>31392044 (OP) # "Shut up shut up shut up" >sprays mace and leaves without elaborating 06/10/23(Sat) 18:40:13 No.31392147

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Anon is sweet and romantic | /r/Greentext

wait huh dude w-- I'm honestly really glad that you had fun bought the rope like... you were actually planning on killing your self? I was so worried that the date would suck or you wouldn't wanna hang out, I was literally talking to a friend of mine beforehand and told him I was gonna kill myself if you said no haha I even bought the rope O I mean, I told you about how I have depression and stuff haha you were going to actually f------ kill yourself if i didn't go out with you? Is it sweet and romantic if I say yes? A iMessage A Cash IMG_0969.png 495 KB PNG Read 3:19 PM g-g-girls like guys who c-c-c-care about them though, r-right?

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anon ignores door | /r/Greentext

>best sex I ever had >thisisheaven.wow >we go to bed >log off of server >close Minecraft >go to bed All in all a good night Anonymous 01/25/19(Fri)17:38:38 No.790914454 >be me >playing vidya >11/10 gf walks in >hardasdiamonds.jpg >she gives me a h------ >feelsgoodman.exe >knock at the door >ignore it >they start banging at the door >whothefuckisitimbusy.png >door gets broke down >zombies walk in >girlfriend shrieks >pull out my sword >stab them >she thanks me, we have sex

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Gaynon gets a gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/10/23(Sat)15:38:44 No.73627712 84 KB JPG >Be me >Gay >Have known for years >Parents are very traditional and homophobic >Feel ashamed of my sexuality and never come out because I don't want them to hate me >Mom starts nagging me about relationships >Decide to get a gf >Ask out this girl in one of my classes >Things are going well and she becomes my gf >She's a great woman and truly my best friend >Parents love her >I'm just not attracted to her >Feeling overwhelming guilt because I'm wasting her time >Don't want to tell her because I'd lose her >What the f--- have I done?

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Anon orders a vodka on the cocks | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/10/23(Sat)15:37:59 No.900710165 ► >>900713754 >>900714448 >>900715147 >>900715511 >>900715943 >>900716014 >>900716685 >>900717315 >>900717628 >>900717881 >>900718282 >>900718805 >>900718962 >>900719378 >>900719492 >>900720009 File: IMG_3641.jpg (90 KB, 714x952) Mail Online EXCLUSIVE Young woman, 18, admits in high court that she got her eldery boyfriend, 60, drunk by giving him a b------ with a mouth full of vodka, the man was a recovering alcoholic and had been sober for 12 years, the man died from alcohol poisoning during the night as the vodka was absorbed into the head of his penis A File: A >be teen girl >have 60 year old boyfriend >he is recovering alcoholic >decide to treat him >give him a b------ >secretly put vodka in my mouth >keep sucking his c--- >swallow all the c-- >don't swallow any vodka >it all gets absorbed into his penis >do this all night >he dies from alcohol poisoning >go to court >dont get arrested Mail Online Home Last updated: 19:23 BST, 10 June 2023 Home News | Royals | U.S. | Sport | TV&Showbiz | Femail | Health Science | Money | Travel | Best Buys Discounts Breaking News | Australia | Video | Russia-Ukraine | You Mag | Books | Promos | Rewards | Mail Shop | Cars | Property | Columnists | Games Share 100 EXCLUSIVE Young woman, 18, admits in high court that she got her eldery boyfriend, 60, drunk by giving him a b------ with a mouth full of vodka, the man was a recovering alcoholic and had been sober for 12 years, the man died from alcohol poisoning during the night as the vodka was absorbed into the head of his penis 1.8k comments 60 ► 1 video 20 The women says she did not intend to kill her eldery boyfriend, 60, and just wanted to give him a buzz that he had not experienced in a long time. Her explanation was that she kept giving him b------- throughout the night and they were both having a lovely time, little did the man know that his very young girlfriend was secretly infecting him with alcohol poisoning as the tip of his penis was absorbing too much vodka for his body to handle, the women was not charged and was released from custody following the court appearence. Login 18 totally

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Anon and his coworker chat | /r/Greentext

I dont want to exist anymore 06/10/23(Sat)14:37:31 No.73627073 piccolo_meme.jpg 455 KB JPG >Be me, wage f--. At work, slow day >Female coworker likes to chat. >"Anon I would love to get a pet. But Im not sure what to get..." "Why not get something low maintenance? Like a turtle or something." >"Eww! No anon. I dont want an amphibian! Theyre slimey & gross!" Stupid bitch.jpeg >"Hmm maybe something exotic. Ive seen videos of people with pet Racoons and Oposums. I think theyre cute." "Did you know Oposums have the most teeth of any mammal in north america?" >"Huh? Dont sharks have like a 1000 teeth?" Why do zoomer femoids have room temperature IQs?

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Anon is forced to use Reddit app | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 3444 KB JPEG 11/06/2023, 00:09:44 No.64139369 Be me Reddit addict Love scrolling through memes and engaging in discussions Always used a third-party app for the best experience Life was good, everything was smooth Then, hear the news Reddit decides to ban third-party apps Panic mode activated Download the native app with a heavy heart Open it with low expectations Oh boy, was I in for a surprise Native app sucks ass, big time Clunky interface, slow loading times, and constant crashes Where did all the features go? No more customization, no more seamless browsing Feel like a prisoner in a poorly designed cage Scrolling is a chore, comments are a mess Longing for the simplicity and efficiency of the third-party app Reddit, why did you do this? Why take away our freedom of choice? Now stuck with a subpar experience Missing the smoothness and functionality Each day is a struggle, a reminder of what once was Can't help but feel betrayed and frustrated Reddit, please bring back third-party apps We deserve better than this sorry excuse of an app.

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anon explains supply and demand | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/10/23(Sat)00:42:08 No.900666441 pika.png 264 KB PNG >millennials and zoomers all get diagnosed with disorders they don't really have (yes ADD is real but most of you f--- don't have it) >many of them know this and are just seeking drugs for an easy boost to their life >suddenly there isn't enough of the drug to go around

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Anon on gaming video "essays" | /r/Greentext

HOT BOY H COMTME CRATES NAKEY JAKEY FromSoftware's Game Design Changed Everything Nakey Jakey 1.3M views 3 days ago Screenshot_20230603_170637.jpg 396 KB JPG 36:01 >summarizes wikipedia article on the production of demon's souls >adds unfunny quips to appeal to the reddit audience >millions of views Why aren't you a gaming video essayist yet?

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