Really glad seeing my tax dollars put to work | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Board /fit/ - Fitness Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 06/08/24(Sat)03:28:36 No.74447887 >be me cutting since january and finally lean >just doing my thing at the gym when i notice a qt stealing glances >seen her before but we have never talked or interacted >tell myself to focus and to not be a schizo >i finish my set and she sets up next to me >make eye contact through the mirror and she smiles >tell her if she needs a spot im here >"okay" and she never asks and i move to a different exercise >go to fill up my water bottle and she bumps into me as i turn around >cue some small talk and she compliments my fit and water bottle (lol) and i tell her i just bought it the other day >"oh my leggings are new too" and she does like a side pose lifting one foot to her ass >stare at her cheeks like a f------ ape >she calls me a creep and jokingly punches my chest >i do some pec bounces like a retard and she laughs >"whats your instagram" >tell her i don't have one and she says i can have her number instead >she f------ winks and waves me goodbye afterwards >later do a cia background check on her and turns out she is micro influencer >she has pics at all these fancy places and vacations + tons of dudes thirsting in comments >mfw im kissless for 2 years and a complete antisocial shut in i have a feeling its just a government contractor keeping on eye on me. no way girls this beautiful approach, let alone a turboautist like me. can only f--- this up anyway. >>74447933 # >>74448026 # >>74448068 # >>74449033 # >>74450780 # -71153262 # 3571458513 #

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Is this a fair assessment or an exaggeration? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/18/23(Sat) 19:30:41 No.657881745 red-alert2-web.jpg 380 KB JPG >RTS requires planning, thinking and concentration to play >Zoomers don't have those skills because they spend all their free time watching dumb s--- on tiktok >RTS is now a dead genre thanks to zoomies being retarded

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Anon is a small demon | /r/Greentext

12 KB JPG >Be me >Working at Burger King >I add an extra chicken nuggets to bags when they're for a kid's meal >Imagine the kid feeling so lucky he got an extra nugget >He wasn't actually lucky though, as I did that deliberately My devilish nature cannot be contained

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Anon Hated the Ending of Attack on Titan | /r/Greentext

File: 01929383730282830.jpg (223 KB, 2560x1440) Iwant her to be hung up on me like ten years, at least! Anonymous 07/13/24(Sat) 04:25:52 No.201227524 >>201228470 >>201228495 >>201228621 >>201228668 >>201228705 >>201228707 >>201228752 >>201228759 >>201228832 >>201229506 >>201229786 >>201229798 >>201230100 >>201230685 >>201231177 >>201231314 >>201231457 >>201231694 >>201231763 >>201232268 >>201232276 >>201232577 >>201233745 >>201234015 >>201234251 >>201235680 >>201235955 >>201236354 >>201237034 >>201241334 >>201241601 >>201241650 >>201243373 >>201244959 >>201248802 >>201249346 >>201251050 >>201251090 >>201251259 >> >ruins your 10/10 show Anonymous 07/13/24(Sat)04:59:09 No.201228470 ►>>201228759 >>201229154 >>201229585 >>201230046 >>201230065 >>201235652 >>201227524 (OP) >erencels still seething years later best ending of all time. Anonymous 07/13/24(Sat)05:01:59 No.201228537 ►>>201228759 >>201229851 >>201238847 >nooooo the character whose personality i project myself into is in reality an insecure pathetic loser Anonymous 07/13/24(Sat)05:04:44 No.201228621 >>201228759 >>201236927 >>201237486 >>201246203 File: _b56ebff71f2a915d6220ff68(...).png (955 KB, 946x712) NO MATTER NO HOW MUCH MATTER HE'S HELD WHAT CAGE HE'S IN... BACK... I KNOW. HE'S A TRUE MONSTER. IT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS TITAN POWER. ... TO SUBMIT >>201228681 >>201228711 CAPTAIN ?! NO ONE CAN FORCE HIM... >>201227524 (OP) >Eren framed as some kind of animal with insane willpower like Guts >gives up at 80% and simps for a stepsister who was dtf anyway Anonymous 07/13/24(Sat)05:34:10 No.201229506 ► >>201227524 (OP) >any anime show >10/10

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>Be Alec Baldwin | /r/Greentext

5:46 0 22 KB JPG >Be Alec >Working on my cowboy movie to spite Costner and prove I'm the better pretend cowboy >It's shaping up to be a pile of s--- >Way over budget, tons of reshoots >Already cut as many corners as I could to save money >Armorer is some little retard girl barely out of college, always on her phone >Cinematographer is being a huge c--- to me >God I hate women >I'm the producer so I'm going to lose my ass on this film >Brooding in my trailer dressed as a cowboy >Playing with my revolver wondering how I can salvage my production >Suddenly get an idea of how I can solve all my problems >Walk out of my trailer >Point the gun at c--- cinematographer and blow her away >No more c--- cinematographer >Blame the loaded gun on the unqualified zoomer girl I hired >My movie was projected to do around $70 mil in ticket sales >Get a huge publicity boost and now everybody wants to see it YOU ARE HERE >Get off scot-free in court because I'm a f------ Baldwin >Movie breaks $900 mil, everyone in America wants to see it >Dunking on Costner because only one of us actually dressed up like a cowboy and murdered someone >More popular than ever >Democrats approach me to run for president >Debate Trump in my SNL costume and mock him the entire time >Remind him that I actually did in fact shoot someone in public and got 0 consequences unlike him just saying he could do it >Liberals love me because I'm a Hollywood guy who s---- on Trump >Conservatives love me even more than Reagan because I shot someone with an old-timey cowboy revolver dressed as a cowboy >Unite America under my rule >Become president >Invite Putin and Zelenskiy to "peace summit" at Camp David >Show up in my cowboy outfit and shoot them both, war over >Achieve world peace

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French is a wacky language | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous French language 07/08/24(Mon) 18:57:24 No.16833017 B2CB291E-55B9-4ECE-96BF-67593D565922.jpg 40 KB JPG >inanimate objects have genders (which are totally arbitrary, you just 'have to know'. How the f--- were the genders determined in the first place??) >silent letters/subtle pronunciation (this language is so un- phonetic that unless you see the word spelled out you really don't know half the time what's being said) >numbers (95 in French is quatre vingt quinze. Literally: twenty four fifteen, as in 20x4+15. This is how they say the number 95 for example. No further comment needed.) >extremely burdensome system of conjugation that requires knowing 10 versions of each word How did such dumbfuckery evolve naturally?

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You're fascinated yourself Anon don't fucking lie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BLACK LIKE ME John Howard Griffin Pathe 191 KB JPG 07/13/24(Sat)16:56:41 No. 78137927 >wanted to see what it was like to be black in the sourh in 1950s >Apparently it was so horrible he Almost had a mental breakdown Lmao >Griffin finds that, to his surprise, many Southern white men are willing to pick him up when he hitchhikes. But to his dismay, he discovers that many of them do so only so they can press him for lurid information about his sex life-they believe that Black men are extremely sexualized creatures, and though they publicly condemn this perceived lack of morality, they secretly find it fascinating. One of them even asks to see his penis. Whites are f------ deviants 2 Replies : Anonymous View Thread 07/13/24(Sat) 17:05:08 No.78137972 | guess every race has their ups and deep f------ downs >>78138198 # : Anonymous >>78137972 # 07/13/24(Sat) 17:51:52 No.78138198 Proof the reason white people hate American blacks is because they can't control them for their twisted desires

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Bareback mountain | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/08/24(Mon)09:24:05 No.201061935 HEATH LEDGER JAKE GYLLENHAAL ANNE HATHAWAY MICHELLE WILLIAMS FROM THE ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING DIRECTOR ANG LEE AND PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING AUTHORS ANNIE PROULX AND LARRY MCMURTRY BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN FOCUS FEATURES RIVER ROAD ENTERTAINMENT PRESENT AN ANG LEE FUN HEATH LEDGER JAKE GYLLENHAAL "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN LINDA CARDELLINI ANNA FARIS ANNE HATHAWAY MICHELLE WILLIAMS RANDY CLIAIDAVY KAUFMAN SAMARIT ALLEN KATHY NELSON GUSTAVO SANTADLALLA GERALDINE PERONI DYLAN TICHENOR, ACE JUDY BECKER RODRIGO PRIETO ASC, AMC SCOTT FERGUSON WILLIAM POHLAD LARRY MCMURTRY MICHAEL COSTIGAN MICHAEL HAUSMAN DIANA OSSANA JAMES SCHAMUS ANNIE PROULX LARRY MCMURTHY & DIANA OSSANA ANG LEE FOCUS BE www.brokebackbuhan.com FEATURING MUSIC FROM WILLIE NELSON, EMMY LOU HARRIS, RUFUS WAINWRIGHT, AND TEDDY THOMPSON LOVE IS A FORCE OF NATURE 1711539787874704.jpg 287 KB JPG >in winter >in a small tent >no condom >no washing up afterwards that tent must've smelled rank as f--- afterwards

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Time well spent | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 15 minutes ago No.116 >Rei is love >Rei is light >Rei is life 日 Anonymous 15 minutes ago No.11 1410924729321.jpg (88 KB, 1064xS Sure, OP. Anonymous 13 minutes ago No.116227997 =>>116228254 1411762361782.gif (113 KB, 260x199) google iqdb Twenty years. >>116227920 >>116227876 (OP) You c---- have been doing this for twenty years.

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Creative title | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 29 KB JPG 12/02/23(Sat) 12:18:33 No.659330193 >game achievements >Winter is coming (Enter the Frostland) >You Shall Not Pass! (Defend the fortress) >I'll be back (Lose 10 times to a boss) >It's a trap! (Die to trap) >Get over here! (Use a spell to pull an enemy)

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How did he do it bros? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/12/24(Fri)18:56:48 No.201236159 PJATEVE Well, it is finally official: murder is legal in the state of New Mexico E_XPXFwXsAMVbA2.jpg 34 KB JPG >shoot someone in broad daylight >get off on a technicality

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[NFSW: horrific death described] freshly burnt flesh

Anonymous out 8 KB JPG 02/28/19(Thu)22:08:13 No.793853683 >be me >24 year old Police Officer >Respond to a bad traffic accident where this wrapped his car around a palm tree >car is on fire >run up to the car to try to get him >fire extinguisher only puts out the fire when actively using it, the second I stop the flames come back up >do this enough to get the door open and try to pull the guy out >f----- is pinned but otherwise fully conscious >guy starts screaming "Help me officer!" >tell him that the fire department is on the way and to hold tight > continue to use my fire extinguisher to keep the flames from reaching him but eventually I run out. >flames grow more and more >guy actively burning to death still screaming "help me officer!" >can't do anything to help him >Powerlessly watch him burn to death I can still hear his screams and I can't stand the smell of cooking meat.

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Average 4chan users?? | /r/Greentext

Differential Calculus >be a not-very-masculine virgin with autistic tendencies and hobbies >considered undateable and weird by women >be a not-very-masculine virgin with autistic tendencies and hobbies >considered cute and desirable by top guys u-uhh....what should I choose..

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