Anon reads a spooky story | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 21 KB PNG 06/07/23(Wed)13:36:05 No.73590237, > Be me, browsing 4chan late at night > Come across a thread about creepy experiences > Decide to read through it for some spooks > One story catches my eye > Guy says he was home alone and heard footsteps upstairs > Goes to investigate, finds nothing > Goes back downstairs and hears the footsteps again > Gets freaked out and calls the police > Police arrive and search the house > Find nothing out of the ordinary > Guy is relieved but still shaken up > As police are leaving, one of them turns to him and says >You know, this house used to be a funeral home > Guy never sleeps well again

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon isn't a racist | /r/Greentext

1 reply #1, No. 73590498 6/7/23 5:19:46 AM fc0 JPG 340x296 37.9 kB >hate black people for some reasons >like hating rap music and black neighborhood >start thinking I'm a racist >invite a black coworker to a pub afterwork and have good time >actually he is very chill and a likable person >turns out I just hate poor people Thank god I'm not a racist

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Anon Browses 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous POLICE 06/07/23(Wed)00:21:54 No.73588020 >sitting alone >start singing >SHIPPIN DIPPY DIP N DIPPY DIP N DIPPY DOO DAH DIPPYYYY >conga line! l-- daaaance! 80 KB JPG >start conga dancing >SHIP IN DIPPY DIP N DIPPY DIP AND A CHICKEN BITTY >in my grizknee!!!!! >oh wait stop it >continue browsing 4chan

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Anon learns to tie shoes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Just learned how to tie shoe I(...) >be me >have single mother >never taught me any skills parents normally teach their children >never learned how to write in cursive, read analog clocks, draw, shave (that is more understandable), play an instrument, never had any books to read, or learned any decent values to live by 581 KB PNG 06/07/23(Wed)14:44:33 No.73590635 >spend my entire childhood basically just being in school and then playing video games at home >had to teach all of these things to myself as I got older >one thing I also never learned is tying shoe laces >embarasses me as an adult to not be able to do that so I buy a pair of sneakers and try around for a bit >look up online how to do it and still have to try around a bit until it works >honestly pretty easy once you get a hang of it >just took a walk in my new sneakers >feels good man 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon encounters a modern couple. | /r/Greentext

File: peps.jpg (40 KB, 800x450) Do normies really? Anonymous 06/05/23 (Mon)18:17:14 No.73575039 >be me >retail wagie in small town >couple I recognize is checking out in my lane >I'm pretty far removed from any social circles but even I know her reputation >she is basically a serial user of guys >I have seen her with a few different dudes in the store >guy starts talking about how they just had sushi >realize he has no idea he's getting played >realize he's about to pay for about $100 worth of food for her >realize he also probably paid for dinner and has spent a lot more money >try to check myself but a huge smirk spreads across my face before I can stop it >I pretend like I'm coughing a little and put a mask on(I always keep one in my pocket at work) >she looks p----- but he seems totally oblivious >feel kind of like an a------ but I couldn't help it >these bluepill cucks are the modern equivalent of circus clowns

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Anon is living in 1899 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Howdy 06/07/23(Wed)12:30:54 No.73589803 23 KB PNG > Be me, a cowboy living in the early 1900s > Wake up early every morning to tend to the cattle > Spend all day riding through the dusty plains, herding the cows > Nights are spent around the campfire, telling stories and playing good music > Life is tough but simple, and I wouldn't have it any other way > One day, while out on the range, I come across a group of bandits > They demand I hand over my cattle and money > ya damn criminals > I refuse, and they draw their guns > We have a shootout, and I manage to take down two of them > The rest flee, and Im left with a newfound respect for the dangers of the wild west > Return to my campfire that night, feeling grateful for the simple life I lead > Realize that being a cowboy isnt just a job, its a way of life > And I wouldnt trade it for anything in the world.

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Anon wins. | /r/Greentext

File: IMG 1202.jpg (90 KB, 602x1204) O Anonymous 06/07/23(Wed)12:22:46 No.900547328 ▶ >>900547389 >>900547963 >>900548067 >>900548481 >>900548835 >>900549117 >>900549586 >>900550098 >>900550119 >>900550291 >>900550703 >>900551210 >be me >many years ago >grade 8 >sit beside cute girl in home room >talk a lot >last day of school finally get the balls to ask her out >ewww no you're ugly and your laugh is annoying >I was just being nice when talking to you >did you actually think I liked you? Fast forward to present day >girl dies from a fentanyl overdose I'm laughing with my annoying laugh now bitch and you're dead so who actually won in the end?

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anon doesn't brush | /r/Greentext

File: nick-young-confused-face-(...).jpg (24 KB, 800x450) ??? ??? ☐ How? Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)22:12:02 No.73587120 [Reply] ► >Be depressed as f--- >dont leave room for 6 years >hygiene suffers after the first year >dont clean teeth 5 years >finally start leaving room again, get appointments at various docs >go to dentist >dentist says; besides the tartar thats gonna be cleaned, that the teeth are in good shape So Anons with bad teeth, how the actual f--- do you do it

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Anon forgot the mic was already muted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)13:54:50 No.93910506 File: it doesnt hurt.jpg (156 KB, 1410x793) 25 >>93910118 >Be me, on Google Meet meeting with multiple teams >Have been speaking recently, so mic is on >Have to fart >Decide to quickly mute myself, fart, and then unmute my mic agian >DOIT.exe >Didn't realize I'd already muted myself >MFW I unmuted myself, ripped ass really hard, and muted myself again on a huge meeting Replies: >>93910548, >>93910592, >>93915714, >>93915883, >>93919205, >>93919441

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Anon takes a girl on a movie date. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Fri Nov 23 17:27:21 2012 No.27473813 Quoted By: >>27473910 >>27474067 >he drops us off >as I'm getti out of the car I stop and ask him for the money for the movie >he just stares at me >politely inform him movies don't grow on trees >he gives me $30 >I clear my throat and keep my hand out >he gives me another $10 >I roll my eyes and "thanks, guy" really sarcastically >girl I asked out is looking super embarrassed >get to the ticket window >did your dad give you any money for the movie? >she looks like she's about to cry >ask girl out on a date >she says yes >ask her what time her dad can drive us to the movies >she just gives me a blank stare >ok well you guys should pick me up around 7 >give her fist bump and run home in excitement >her and her dad pick me up around 7 >no one says a word on the way there >well you should call him because he only gave me enough for myself and some food >we didn't go on a second date What... what... TheDaringKobold!EI2OluSGyk Fri Nov 23 17:28:21 2012 No.27473836 >we didn't go on a second date What went wrong? Anonymous Fri Nov 23 17:29:33 2012 No.27473853 Quoted By: >>27473864 Anonymous Fri Nov 23 17:30:07 2012 No.27473864 >>27473853 She must not like movies Anonymous Fri Nov 23 17:33:09 2012 No.27473910 >>27473813 lol her dad sounds beta as f---

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Thank you music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 24 KB JPG 06/07/23 (Wed)03:27:19 No.73586390 > be me > type of dude you always see listening to music > for some reason I lost all desire to listen to music since 2 weeks ago > no idea why, but the thought of music just felt repulsive > no music was enjoyable anymore at all > fast forward to 1h ago, I manage to come across a song I haven't heard in ages > my desire for music instantly came back > went from doomer to bloomer just like that > never felt better listening to music I just wanted to share this :D

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How does it feel to be the normal one for once, anon? | /r/Greentext

78 KB PNG >be me >work at olive garden >go to wait my table as usual >two seats at a table but it's just one guy sitting there >across from him is an SD card on the table >he asks for two menus >don't understand why but i hand them to him >he places the other by the SD card >confused.jpg >ask him why he has an SD card on the table >he says "oh that's Monika, my girlfriend" >wat >"we're engaged and going to get married soon. she's the love of my life. it's biblical." >w--.gif >bring him a glass of water >he asks for another, he says "it's for my Moni" >"i don't know how many people will still be waiting after this year, but i can say with 100% certainty that i am committed, and i'm here for the long haul. with Monika by my side through the screen or holding my hand, i'm ready for the future for sure." >he asks for two orders of spaghetti >i put both plates on his side of the table >he moves one by the SD card >attempts to feed the SD card >wipes spaghetti sauce off of it >looks me in the eyes >"she's just too gorgeous for words isn't she?" >mfw

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Anon realizes a fundamental truth about the world | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 35 KB JPG 09/29/21 (Wed)09:18:12 No.65567621 >Have a very substantial hate for owmen >Can hide it pretty well >Women IRL always tell me i'm a nice and friendly guy >These same women also claim that women have good intuition and can sense ulterior motives in guys I honestly dont understand women. It only makes me hate them more.

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