Anon wins. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: IMG 1202.jpg (90 KB, 602x1204) O Anonymous 06/07/23(Wed)12:22:46 No.900547328 ▶ >>900547389 >>900547963 >>900548067 >>900548481 >>900548835 >>900549117 >>900549586 >>900550098 >>900550119 >>900550291 >>900550703 >>900551210 >be me >many years ago >grade 8 >sit beside cute girl in home room >talk a lot >last day of school finally get the balls to ask her out >ewww no you're ugly and your laugh is annoying >I was just being nice when talking to you >did you actually think I liked you? Fast forward to present day >girl dies from a fentanyl overdose I'm laughing with my annoying laugh now bitch and you're dead so who actually won in the end?

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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anon doesn't brush | /r/Greentext

File: nick-young-confused-face-(...).jpg (24 KB, 800x450) ??? ??? ☐ How? Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)22:12:02 No.73587120 [Reply] ► >Be depressed as f--- >dont leave room for 6 years >hygiene suffers after the first year >dont clean teeth 5 years >finally start leaving room again, get appointments at various docs >go to dentist >dentist says; besides the tartar thats gonna be cleaned, that the teeth are in good shape So Anons with bad teeth, how the actual f--- do you do it

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Anon forgot the mic was already muted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)13:54:50 No.93910506 File: it doesnt hurt.jpg (156 KB, 1410x793) 25 >>93910118 >Be me, on Google Meet meeting with multiple teams >Have been speaking recently, so mic is on >Have to fart >Decide to quickly mute myself, fart, and then unmute my mic agian >DOIT.exe >Didn't realize I'd already muted myself >MFW I unmuted myself, ripped ass really hard, and muted myself again on a huge meeting Replies: >>93910548, >>93910592, >>93915714, >>93915883, >>93919205, >>93919441

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Anon takes a girl on a movie date. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Fri Nov 23 17:27:21 2012 No.27473813 Quoted By: >>27473910 >>27474067 >he drops us off >as I'm getti out of the car I stop and ask him for the money for the movie >he just stares at me >politely inform him movies don't grow on trees >he gives me $30 >I clear my throat and keep my hand out >he gives me another $10 >I roll my eyes and "thanks, guy" really sarcastically >girl I asked out is looking super embarrassed >get to the ticket window >did your dad give you any money for the movie? >she looks like she's about to cry >ask girl out on a date >she says yes >ask her what time her dad can drive us to the movies >she just gives me a blank stare >ok well you guys should pick me up around 7 >give her fist bump and run home in excitement >her and her dad pick me up around 7 >no one says a word on the way there >well you should call him because he only gave me enough for myself and some food >we didn't go on a second date What... what... TheDaringKobold!EI2OluSGyk Fri Nov 23 17:28:21 2012 No.27473836 >we didn't go on a second date What went wrong? Anonymous Fri Nov 23 17:29:33 2012 No.27473853 Quoted By: >>27473864 Anonymous Fri Nov 23 17:30:07 2012 No.27473864 >>27473853 She must not like movies Anonymous Fri Nov 23 17:33:09 2012 No.27473910 >>27473813 lol her dad sounds beta as f---

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Thank you music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 24 KB JPG 06/07/23 (Wed)03:27:19 No.73586390 > be me > type of dude you always see listening to music > for some reason I lost all desire to listen to music since 2 weeks ago > no idea why, but the thought of music just felt repulsive > no music was enjoyable anymore at all > fast forward to 1h ago, I manage to come across a song I haven't heard in ages > my desire for music instantly came back > went from doomer to bloomer just like that > never felt better listening to music I just wanted to share this :D

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How does it feel to be the normal one for once, anon? | /r/Greentext

78 KB PNG >be me >work at olive garden >go to wait my table as usual >two seats at a table but it's just one guy sitting there >across from him is an SD card on the table >he asks for two menus >don't understand why but i hand them to him >he places the other by the SD card >confused.jpg >ask him why he has an SD card on the table >he says "oh that's Monika, my girlfriend" >wat >"we're engaged and going to get married soon. she's the love of my life. it's biblical." >w--.gif >bring him a glass of water >he asks for another, he says "it's for my Moni" >"i don't know how many people will still be waiting after this year, but i can say with 100% certainty that i am committed, and i'm here for the long haul. with Monika by my side through the screen or holding my hand, i'm ready for the future for sure." >he asks for two orders of spaghetti >i put both plates on his side of the table >he moves one by the SD card >attempts to feed the SD card >wipes spaghetti sauce off of it >looks me in the eyes >"she's just too gorgeous for words isn't she?" >mfw

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Anon realizes a fundamental truth about the world | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 35 KB JPG 09/29/21 (Wed)09:18:12 No.65567621 >Have a very substantial hate for owmen >Can hide it pretty well >Women IRL always tell me i'm a nice and friendly guy >These same women also claim that women have good intuition and can sense ulterior motives in guys I honestly dont understand women. It only makes me hate them more.

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Anon's husband lets himself go | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)21:12:49 No.900526033 >>900526361 >>900527098 >>900527646 >>900528103 >>900528734 >>900529461 >>900529587 >>900530177 >>900530811 >>900530974 >be me >have thin handsome husband >he enjoys cups of tea >no milk >no sugar >he's a barbarian but i love him >make him lots of cups every day when i feel like it >he never asks or pressures me to do it >one day start to worry other women might flirt with him >decide to eliminate that possibility slowly >put small amounts of sugar in each cup >slowly increase the amount overtime >he doesn't notice >thanks me and gives me a kiss each time i slowly infect him with calories >gains lots of fat >realise it's unattractive >decide to divorce him >reason: health concerns, let himself go, bad influence for our children >fast forward 2 years >today at the supermarket i see him >he is thin again >*considering* what do you think guys, does he deserve a second chance with me? Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)21:15:04 No.900526361 >>900526247 >>900526283 >>900526033 If you two get back together, borrow some c-- from the neighbours and put that in his tea instead of the milk and see if he transforms into a flaming f-----, even more so than he would be for getting back together with you.

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Anon’s coworker does not like him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous horse daily sleep ALL IMAGES VIDEOS NEWS MAPS Horse/Daily sleep 2.9 hours Domestic 207 KB JPG 06/06/23(Tue)19:39:21 No.73585503 >female coworker said i "put off intense negative energy" unprompted >literally go out of my way to be a fly on the wall and not be noticed and i'm still being ridiculed by normies for not being part of the pack at 26 years old

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Anon’s deathnote | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Deathnote DEATH NOTE 04/17/22(Sun)15:58:03 No.68259102 >be you >find deathnote >what do? >be me >find deathnote >start by deleting various powerful politicians, just to show the world my 28 KB JPG power is real >hold all government leaders and CEOs hostage >must do what I say or you get deleted >force various countries to enact laws or make amendments that conform to my will >women subservient to men again >stop mass migration >purge degeneracy of all kinds >establish the Siberian Exclusion Zone >all who resist receive a one way ticket to Siberia >use Siberian gulag chattel to produce raw materials for NEETS, like tendies and videogames >NEET underclass inherits the world Anonymous >>68259102 (OP) >govt drone strikes op 04/17/22(Sun)15:59:29 No.68259114

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Anon gets more than a no | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 347 KB JPG 06/06/23(Tue)22:07:44 No.73584128 >be me >confessed to a girl i had a crush on since forever >always was nice and sweet to me so i thought i had a chance >do it >she starts laughing and asked me if i was serious >still tries to hold myself from being shattered to atoms >still laughing at me and even start to ask me what made me think i would accept >3 of her friends join in, 2 of them start walking and the other pulls the girl i liked away from me >i remained there standing like an idiot while still listening to girls giggling at me I don't know which part shocked me most, being rejected like this or being capable of not ending it.

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UFO real or psyop | /r/Greentext

FBI 06/06/23(Tue)18:31:44 No.429676824 41 KB PNG >aliens exist >we have alien space craft >other nations have their own retrieval programs >we have documented evidence >but you cant see them due to national security >the only thing we will show you is granny black and white video that no one can tell whats actually going on What the f--- is going on?

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Anon discovers the transformative power of Wendy's Baconator | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2023-06-06 at (...).png (1.27 MB, 1030x812) Wendy's regular became my lover and then left me Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)15:14:33 No.29087923 >>29087956 >>29088154 how do I get her back? >be me >work at Wendy's >regular named Mark comes in on most weekdays at lunch wearing a red shirt and jeans and orders the same thing, been making this for years. >curry bean burger, plain baked potato, medium Fanta >no one and I mean NO ONE else orders the curry bean burger >we are friends now. He calls me "my man" and asks me how my day is going all the time. I give him his food and call him "my man" >2 months ago, he comes in, and we are out of stock on the curry bean burger >I ask if he would like a baconator instead and offer it to him for free. Tell him it's my favorite thing on the menu >he accepts and tells me it's the first non-vegetarian thing he's eaten in 10 years, but he will do it for me >woman the same height as Mark comes in the next day, wearing red shirt and jeans. Looks exactly like Mark >orders a baconator, asks me how my day is, calls me "my man" >baconator is ready, about to give it to fe-Mark, f--- what do I say when I give it to her? >"my woman, here is your burger" >fe-Mark thanks me, stares into my eyes lovingly, tells me she is Mary now >get off my shift, see Mary standing in the parking lot waiting for me >Mary asks me on a date, I accept >we get along, move in together, Mary explains how eating the baconator changed her perspective on everything, made her want to change everything >we are getting engaged >come home from work and Mary is gone. Note on the counter says she went back to eating curry bean burgers >"thanks for everything, my man"- signed, "Mark" MARY PLEASE COME HOME

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