Anon's husband lets himself go | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)21:12:49 No.900526033 >>900526361 >>900527098 >>900527646 >>900528103 >>900528734 >>900529461 >>900529587 >>900530177 >>900530811 >>900530974 >be me >have thin handsome husband >he enjoys cups of tea >no milk >no sugar >he's a barbarian but i love him >make him lots of cups every day when i feel like it >he never asks or pressures me to do it >one day start to worry other women might flirt with him >decide to eliminate that possibility slowly >put small amounts of sugar in each cup >slowly increase the amount overtime >he doesn't notice >thanks me and gives me a kiss each time i slowly infect him with calories >gains lots of fat >realise it's unattractive >decide to divorce him >reason: health concerns, let himself go, bad influence for our children >fast forward 2 years >today at the supermarket i see him >he is thin again >*considering* what do you think guys, does he deserve a second chance with me? Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)21:15:04 No.900526361 >>900526247 >>900526283 >>900526033 If you two get back together, borrow some c-- from the neighbours and put that in his tea instead of the milk and see if he transforms into a flaming f-----, even more so than he would be for getting back together with you.

Share Pin Download More

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: png

Resolution: (522px x 607px)

File size: 31.2 KB

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

View All 43,719 Images

More:

Anon’s coworker does not like him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous horse daily sleep ALL IMAGES VIDEOS NEWS MAPS Horse/Daily sleep 2.9 hours Domestic 207 KB JPG 06/06/23(Tue)19:39:21 No.73585503 >female coworker said i "put off intense negative energy" unprompted >literally go out of my way to be a fly on the wall and not be noticed and i'm still being ridiculed by normies for not being part of the pack at 26 years old

Pin

Anon’s deathnote | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Deathnote DEATH NOTE 04/17/22(Sun)15:58:03 No.68259102 >be you >find deathnote >what do? >be me >find deathnote >start by deleting various powerful politicians, just to show the world my 28 KB JPG power is real >hold all government leaders and CEOs hostage >must do what I say or you get deleted >force various countries to enact laws or make amendments that conform to my will >women subservient to men again >stop mass migration >purge degeneracy of all kinds >establish the Siberian Exclusion Zone >all who resist receive a one way ticket to Siberia >use Siberian gulag chattel to produce raw materials for NEETS, like tendies and videogames >NEET underclass inherits the world Anonymous >>68259102 (OP) >govt drone strikes op 04/17/22(Sun)15:59:29 No.68259114

Pin

Anon gets more than a no | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 347 KB JPG 06/06/23(Tue)22:07:44 No.73584128 >be me >confessed to a girl i had a crush on since forever >always was nice and sweet to me so i thought i had a chance >do it >she starts laughing and asked me if i was serious >still tries to hold myself from being shattered to atoms >still laughing at me and even start to ask me what made me think i would accept >3 of her friends join in, 2 of them start walking and the other pulls the girl i liked away from me >i remained there standing like an idiot while still listening to girls giggling at me I don't know which part shocked me most, being rejected like this or being capable of not ending it.

Pin

UFO real or psyop | /r/Greentext

FBI 06/06/23(Tue)18:31:44 No.429676824 41 KB PNG >aliens exist >we have alien space craft >other nations have their own retrieval programs >we have documented evidence >but you cant see them due to national security >the only thing we will show you is granny black and white video that no one can tell whats actually going on What the f--- is going on?

Pin

Anon discovers the transformative power of Wendy's Baconator | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2023-06-06 at (...).png (1.27 MB, 1030x812) Wendy's regular became my lover and then left me Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)15:14:33 No.29087923 >>29087956 >>29088154 how do I get her back? >be me >work at Wendy's >regular named Mark comes in on most weekdays at lunch wearing a red shirt and jeans and orders the same thing, been making this for years. >curry bean burger, plain baked potato, medium Fanta >no one and I mean NO ONE else orders the curry bean burger >we are friends now. He calls me "my man" and asks me how my day is going all the time. I give him his food and call him "my man" >2 months ago, he comes in, and we are out of stock on the curry bean burger >I ask if he would like a baconator instead and offer it to him for free. Tell him it's my favorite thing on the menu >he accepts and tells me it's the first non-vegetarian thing he's eaten in 10 years, but he will do it for me >woman the same height as Mark comes in the next day, wearing red shirt and jeans. Looks exactly like Mark >orders a baconator, asks me how my day is, calls me "my man" >baconator is ready, about to give it to fe-Mark, f--- what do I say when I give it to her? >"my woman, here is your burger" >fe-Mark thanks me, stares into my eyes lovingly, tells me she is Mary now >get off my shift, see Mary standing in the parking lot waiting for me >Mary asks me on a date, I accept >we get along, move in together, Mary explains how eating the baconator changed her perspective on everything, made her want to change everything >we are getting engaged >come home from work and Mary is gone. Note on the counter says she went back to eating curry bean burgers >"thanks for everything, my man"- signed, "Mark" MARY PLEASE COME HOME

Pin

Anon asks how based a dog can be | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)16:53:23 No.73583976 20230606_164819.jpg 287 KB JPG >Some n----- breaks into home in Georgia >Gets maul to death by 2 shitbulls. >Owner comes home to find stupid jig dead on his floor. >Dogs and owner aren't punished by the powers that be. Based and redpilled shitbulls? : Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)16:55:58 No.73584007 >>73583976 (OP) # based but shitbulls still cringe

Pin

Anon is Pipe Boy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)07:50:47 No.186023970 >>186024027 >>186025324>>186025524 >>186025945 >>186027154 I've been in a situation quite similar to this as the "host". >be overgrown, gullible teenager that has just moved to a s----- little house in the suburbs >in my weed phase and smoke everyday by myself >out walking during a summer night >meet a dude who is dancing by a bus stop and start chatting >seems nice, very intelligent and open to whatever life has to offer >one thing leads to another and I invite him to my home to smoke some more >we get home and vape >sitting at my kitchen table just shooting s--- and sharing whatever >all is fine but he starts getting a bit weird, insinuating sexual stuff and energy changes completely >i try to just laugh it off and play it cool, saying i'm flattered but ain't gay >he keeps pushing and at one point he looks me square in the eyes and says "If I want to, I will... and I wanna.." >then he gives me this f------ disgusting, deviant grin >l instinctively jump away from the table, rush to my door where there's a basket with umbrellas, random sticks and a heavy copper pipe >grab pipe, open my door and scream at him to get out >he just f------ sits there still grinning >i repeat "GET THE F--- OUT OR I'M GONNA F------ BEAT YOU" >he sighs, nods while putting his hands up in the air, slams them on the table and says "Fine..", chuckles and stands up >i'm still holding the pipe and back away from him as he walks towards the door >walk out, but right after he passes the threshold and I approach to close the door, he turns and says "Good thing you had that lil' pipe there, boy... *sizes me up* See ya around.. Pipe Boy" >slam the door on him >look through my window at him walking away >he turns, looks at me and blows me a kiss >I shout "F--- OFF, F--" and shake my pipe menacingly >he gives a high-pitched laugh and jogs off with his hands raised, then resumes walking a normal pace, turns a corner >never see him again I still have that copper pipe (I call it Copper) as a reminder not to be moronically naive and as a means for protection.

Pin

Gigabased Grandpa makes the most out of his last years. | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Is my grandpa retarded or based? : An Is my grandpa retarded or base(...) 381 KB PNG Settings Mobile Home 06/06/23(Tue)14:03:39 No.73579307 > be me > got a granddad who's approaching 80 > was visiting his house last week after uni as he lives close > grandpa type of guy who smokes cigarettes indoors > I enter his house > entire place smelled not of cigarettes but of g---- > not even trying to hide it > walk into the living room > see him in his big fat recliner > smoking a fat one > watching the news > just living his best life > "Hey Anon! How was school?" > asks if I want to try > surprisingly good weed > eventually I asked him why he's just casually doing drugs > he says something among the lines of: > I'm gonna die in like 2 or so years anyway so might as well > fair enough > apparently he's been at it for a solid month or so > apparently he is also planning to try stronger stuff later on > I go to his kitchen to grab a glass bottle of soda > decide to peek into his medicine cabinet out of curiosity > apart from his regular medication and a bag of weed dude's sitting on a few tabs of acid, small bag of powder, colourful pills, less colourful pills, and some sort of crystals (MDMA maybe?) > return home later that night > scolded by parents for smelling like skunk weed > you should stop hanging out with your friend Martin he's no good for you blah blah blah > they don't know > will defo visit based grandpa this week as well, might even bring pizza The part that puzzles me the most is that I have no idea of how he managed to get ahold of all this s---. Like I barely know any dealers, and I strongly doubt he's sitting on dark web marketplaces ordering with with bitcoin and stuff.

Pin

You just answered your question anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous why cant i find gf? 704 KB PNG 05/13/23(Sat)12:26:41 No.73299526 i dont know why i cant find a gf. i shuck oysters for a living, making 13 dollars an hour at a hotel restaurant. i am an alcoholic and a drug addict. i am 100 pounds overweight. my d--- is almost a micro penis. my favorite movie is taxi driver. i should be a catch, right

Pin

Anon is one of us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Everything in this world is a (...) 06/06/23(Tue)16:11:23 No.900511066 img.png 9 KB PNG >bored of games >decide to browse 4chan >see a funny greentext >steal it and post it on my reddit >karma galore How does it feel to be part of my game /b/?

Pin

Anon is Chinese | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 6vAEaMyU HERE 06/06/23(Tue)21:07:47 No.429618980 >>429617966 (OP) # >wake up >be Chinese >turn on Glorious Republic's local news >that girl I liked was eaten by an 1.39 MB WEBM escalator yesterday >eat my breakfast rat and head for work >train I was on derailed, killing 12,000 >crawl from wreckage and make it to factory >I was 0.3 minutes late >my social credit score has been lowered, will receive visit from my local beating police tonight >start day printing bootleg Ben 10 merchandise stolen from stupid white pigs on the internet >3 dozen co-workers died horribly, including my neighbors in s----- cramped apartment >days over, head home >2 semis with tankers of gas tipped over, destroying the highway and killing 1,456 >kick unsupervised toddler >finally make it home after stepping over a corpse in front of my apartment >eat the rest of that cat I fried for dinner last night >hop on the internet to the incredibly narrow list of government-approved websites >defend China as the greatest country on Earth

Pin

Anon gets his hair cut | /r/Greentext

file.png (318 KB, 1920x1210) google yandex iqdb wait BARBER SHOP Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)11:14:01 No.73580735 >Always go to the same lady at the barber shop, let's call her "Alice" >Alice is always extremely nice to me, she is actually someone I look forward to meeting, which I can't say for the majority of people I interact with >She always seems genuinely interested in what I have to say and small talk is easy with her when she's cutting my hair, rather than awkward like it is with everyone else >I keep my hair really short, so I go every two weeks or so and it only costs me 15 bucks >Always tip her 5 bucks, which I though was good because it's 33% >Today, I got my hair cut, everything was great as always, except when it was done and I went to hand her the tip, she gives me this weird look and says "Anon, am I doing something wrong?" >I am taken aback and don't know what to say. Just stare at her with probably a stupid look on my face and still holding out my 5 dollar bill >She takes the bill and says "It's always just this, huh?" >I feel shocked when I realize she's saying I'm not a good tipper, I instantly pull out another 5 dollar bill and hand it over, saying "I'm so sorry" >She takes that too and smiles brightly at me, a gleaming smile that makes me feel a little dizzy >She says "Thanks! See you next time!" >Go to the front desk to pay for the cut itself, don't even hear what that cashier is saying as she swipes my card because I'm so confused by what just happened >Walk out the door, feeling a little nauseous Is 66% tip normal if it's a girl who always cuts your hair and is nice to you?

Pin

Know Your Meme

Like Page 1.8M likes