Anon encounters a modern couple. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: peps.jpg (40 KB, 800x450) Do normies really? Anonymous 06/05/23 (Mon)18:17:14 No.73575039 >be me >retail wagie in small town >couple I recognize is checking out in my lane >I'm pretty far removed from any social circles but even I know her reputation >she is basically a serial user of guys >I have seen her with a few different dudes in the store >guy starts talking about how they just had sushi >realize he has no idea he's getting played >realize he's about to pay for about $100 worth of food for her >realize he also probably paid for dinner and has spent a lot more money >try to check myself but a huge smirk spreads across my face before I can stop it >I pretend like I'm coughing a little and put a mask on(I always keep one in my pocket at work) >she looks p----- but he seems totally oblivious >feel kind of like an a------ but I couldn't help it >these bluepill cucks are the modern equivalent of circus clowns

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is living in 1899 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Howdy 06/07/23(Wed)12:30:54 No.73589803 23 KB PNG > Be me, a cowboy living in the early 1900s > Wake up early every morning to tend to the cattle > Spend all day riding through the dusty plains, herding the cows > Nights are spent around the campfire, telling stories and playing good music > Life is tough but simple, and I wouldn't have it any other way > One day, while out on the range, I come across a group of bandits > They demand I hand over my cattle and money > ya damn criminals > I refuse, and they draw their guns > We have a shootout, and I manage to take down two of them > The rest flee, and Im left with a newfound respect for the dangers of the wild west > Return to my campfire that night, feeling grateful for the simple life I lead > Realize that being a cowboy isnt just a job, its a way of life > And I wouldnt trade it for anything in the world.

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Anon wins. | /r/Greentext

File: IMG 1202.jpg (90 KB, 602x1204) O Anonymous 06/07/23(Wed)12:22:46 No.900547328 ▶ >>900547389 >>900547963 >>900548067 >>900548481 >>900548835 >>900549117 >>900549586 >>900550098 >>900550119 >>900550291 >>900550703 >>900551210 >be me >many years ago >grade 8 >sit beside cute girl in home room >talk a lot >last day of school finally get the balls to ask her out >ewww no you're ugly and your laugh is annoying >I was just being nice when talking to you >did you actually think I liked you? Fast forward to present day >girl dies from a fentanyl overdose I'm laughing with my annoying laugh now bitch and you're dead so who actually won in the end?

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anon doesn't brush | /r/Greentext

File: nick-young-confused-face-(...).jpg (24 KB, 800x450) ??? ??? ☐ How? Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)22:12:02 No.73587120 [Reply] ► >Be depressed as f--- >dont leave room for 6 years >hygiene suffers after the first year >dont clean teeth 5 years >finally start leaving room again, get appointments at various docs >go to dentist >dentist says; besides the tartar thats gonna be cleaned, that the teeth are in good shape So Anons with bad teeth, how the actual f--- do you do it

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Anon forgot the mic was already muted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)13:54:50 No.93910506 File: it doesnt hurt.jpg (156 KB, 1410x793) 25 >>93910118 >Be me, on Google Meet meeting with multiple teams >Have been speaking recently, so mic is on >Have to fart >Decide to quickly mute myself, fart, and then unmute my mic agian >DOIT.exe >Didn't realize I'd already muted myself >MFW I unmuted myself, ripped ass really hard, and muted myself again on a huge meeting Replies: >>93910548, >>93910592, >>93915714, >>93915883, >>93919205, >>93919441

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Anon takes a girl on a movie date. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Fri Nov 23 17:27:21 2012 No.27473813 Quoted By: >>27473910 >>27474067 >he drops us off >as I'm getti out of the car I stop and ask him for the money for the movie >he just stares at me >politely inform him movies don't grow on trees >he gives me $30 >I clear my throat and keep my hand out >he gives me another $10 >I roll my eyes and "thanks, guy" really sarcastically >girl I asked out is looking super embarrassed >get to the ticket window >did your dad give you any money for the movie? >she looks like she's about to cry >ask girl out on a date >she says yes >ask her what time her dad can drive us to the movies >she just gives me a blank stare >ok well you guys should pick me up around 7 >give her fist bump and run home in excitement >her and her dad pick me up around 7 >no one says a word on the way there >well you should call him because he only gave me enough for myself and some food >we didn't go on a second date What... what... TheDaringKobold!EI2OluSGyk Fri Nov 23 17:28:21 2012 No.27473836 >we didn't go on a second date What went wrong? Anonymous Fri Nov 23 17:29:33 2012 No.27473853 Quoted By: >>27473864 Anonymous Fri Nov 23 17:30:07 2012 No.27473864 >>27473853 She must not like movies Anonymous Fri Nov 23 17:33:09 2012 No.27473910 >>27473813 lol her dad sounds beta as f---

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Thank you music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 24 KB JPG 06/07/23 (Wed)03:27:19 No.73586390 > be me > type of dude you always see listening to music > for some reason I lost all desire to listen to music since 2 weeks ago > no idea why, but the thought of music just felt repulsive > no music was enjoyable anymore at all > fast forward to 1h ago, I manage to come across a song I haven't heard in ages > my desire for music instantly came back > went from doomer to bloomer just like that > never felt better listening to music I just wanted to share this :D

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How does it feel to be the normal one for once, anon? | /r/Greentext

78 KB PNG >be me >work at olive garden >go to wait my table as usual >two seats at a table but it's just one guy sitting there >across from him is an SD card on the table >he asks for two menus >don't understand why but i hand them to him >he places the other by the SD card >confused.jpg >ask him why he has an SD card on the table >he says "oh that's Monika, my girlfriend" >wat >"we're engaged and going to get married soon. she's the love of my life. it's biblical." >w--.gif >bring him a glass of water >he asks for another, he says "it's for my Moni" >"i don't know how many people will still be waiting after this year, but i can say with 100% certainty that i am committed, and i'm here for the long haul. with Monika by my side through the screen or holding my hand, i'm ready for the future for sure." >he asks for two orders of spaghetti >i put both plates on his side of the table >he moves one by the SD card >attempts to feed the SD card >wipes spaghetti sauce off of it >looks me in the eyes >"she's just too gorgeous for words isn't she?" >mfw

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Anon realizes a fundamental truth about the world | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 35 KB JPG 09/29/21 (Wed)09:18:12 No.65567621 >Have a very substantial hate for owmen >Can hide it pretty well >Women IRL always tell me i'm a nice and friendly guy >These same women also claim that women have good intuition and can sense ulterior motives in guys I honestly dont understand women. It only makes me hate them more.

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Anon's husband lets himself go | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)21:12:49 No.900526033 >>900526361 >>900527098 >>900527646 >>900528103 >>900528734 >>900529461 >>900529587 >>900530177 >>900530811 >>900530974 >be me >have thin handsome husband >he enjoys cups of tea >no milk >no sugar >he's a barbarian but i love him >make him lots of cups every day when i feel like it >he never asks or pressures me to do it >one day start to worry other women might flirt with him >decide to eliminate that possibility slowly >put small amounts of sugar in each cup >slowly increase the amount overtime >he doesn't notice >thanks me and gives me a kiss each time i slowly infect him with calories >gains lots of fat >realise it's unattractive >decide to divorce him >reason: health concerns, let himself go, bad influence for our children >fast forward 2 years >today at the supermarket i see him >he is thin again >*considering* what do you think guys, does he deserve a second chance with me? Anonymous 06/06/23(Tue)21:15:04 No.900526361 >>900526247 >>900526283 >>900526033 If you two get back together, borrow some c-- from the neighbours and put that in his tea instead of the milk and see if he transforms into a flaming f-----, even more so than he would be for getting back together with you.

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Anon’s coworker does not like him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous horse daily sleep ALL IMAGES VIDEOS NEWS MAPS Horse/Daily sleep 2.9 hours Domestic 207 KB JPG 06/06/23(Tue)19:39:21 No.73585503 >female coworker said i "put off intense negative energy" unprompted >literally go out of my way to be a fly on the wall and not be noticed and i'm still being ridiculed by normies for not being part of the pack at 26 years old

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Anon’s deathnote | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Deathnote DEATH NOTE 04/17/22(Sun)15:58:03 No.68259102 >be you >find deathnote >what do? >be me >find deathnote >start by deleting various powerful politicians, just to show the world my 28 KB JPG power is real >hold all government leaders and CEOs hostage >must do what I say or you get deleted >force various countries to enact laws or make amendments that conform to my will >women subservient to men again >stop mass migration >purge degeneracy of all kinds >establish the Siberian Exclusion Zone >all who resist receive a one way ticket to Siberia >use Siberian gulag chattel to produce raw materials for NEETS, like tendies and videogames >NEET underclass inherits the world Anonymous >>68259102 (OP) >govt drone strikes op 04/17/22(Sun)15:59:29 No.68259114

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Anon gets more than a no | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 347 KB JPG 06/06/23(Tue)22:07:44 No.73584128 >be me >confessed to a girl i had a crush on since forever >always was nice and sweet to me so i thought i had a chance >do it >she starts laughing and asked me if i was serious >still tries to hold myself from being shattered to atoms >still laughing at me and even start to ask me what made me think i would accept >3 of her friends join in, 2 of them start walking and the other pulls the girl i liked away from me >i remained there standing like an idiot while still listening to girls giggling at me I don't know which part shocked me most, being rejected like this or being capable of not ending it.

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