Anon is not a top performer | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

right wing extremists Ahem moderate rightists centrist Anonymous (ID: L8h27TR/ IQ 1593314044189.png 193 KB PNG moderate leftists left wing extremists 06/27/20(Sat)23:10:32 No.265248981 That's not how a bell curve works you f------ imbecile >>265249178 # >>265249309 # >>265249405 # >>265249664 # >>265250040 # >>265252839 # >>265253346 #

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon rides the (short) bus | /r/Greentext

File: 1395371377016.jpg-(15 KB, 350x255, 3556329024_474352014_bad_(...).jpg) Anonymous (ID: ALF1AXId) 03/21/14(Fri)03:09:37 UTC No.538216537 >Traveling to friend's house for holidays. >Poorfag, go by bus. >Twelve hours so far, driving through the night. >All night, this little s---, about ten, has been screaming and acting up. >Playing Pokemon on his 3DS, announces every attack in horrible screeching voice; sound effects included. >Four hours in the battery dies, bus has power points so his Mom puts it on charger. >He tries to take them anyway. >Big black dude with iPad tells kid to go sit down when kid tries to take it. >Kid wriggling about and bitching because the battery doesn't charge quickly enough to keep playing right away. >Goes up to several other people in the bus. >Mom not pleased; "Hey, don't you dare speak to my son like that you ape. You probably can't even use that properly." >Black dude p-----, but obviously used to this s---. Also has pretty proper accent, Fresh Prince s---. >"Please Ma'am, don't hold us responsible for amusing your child when it was your poor judgement to believe your prom date would pull out." >shotsfired.jpg >Mom about to ape, Blackbro smiling, kid trying to steal another kid's PSP. >Bus driver tells everybody to calm down or they'll get kicked off. >Kid sits back down, but still bitches until he can play again. >Doesn't know how to play the game, keeps getting ass kicked by computer. >Continues until he passes out. >"Give me your phone." "I want your game." >Most people ignore him, some politely say no. Continued.. Anonymous (ID: ALF1AXId) 03/21/14(Fri)03:20:51 UTC No.538218308 Replies: >>538218885 >Get a few hours of sleep, neck f----- all week from seats. >8AM next morning, bus pulls into small shopping village. >Kid woke up an hour ago, usual s--- going on, everybody visibly p----- at him and his Mom. >Pull into gas station/shopping center. >Everybody wandering around, getting breakfast. >Kid is just pulling stuff off the shelves and stuffing his face with it. >Sugar rush activated. >Loops around the store, around and around. >His Mom is just sitting by the coffee stand at the store entrance, reading her tiny f------ novel at one page every ten minutes. >He starts swearing with the full vocabulary of a angsty teenager, knocking stuff off stands and displays with his arms. >I'm in the aisle next to the one he's in, near the end. >A few stray cans of vegetables are sitting in the space under the shelf. Continued... Anonymous (ID: ALF1AXId) 03/21/14(Fri)03:24:48 UTC No.538218960 Replies: >>538220310 >Go for gold, lean down, slide can under shelf and into next aisle. >Direct hit, hits his left foot and sends him into half a cartwheel while still maintaining forward momentum. >F------ swear, he looks like a cartoon, completely horizontal airtime. >But then gravity. >Hits floor, keeps going thanks to super polished tiles. >Oh look, a giant pyramid of some liquid soap. >Extra value, galon bottles. Dis gon be good. >Into the base he goes, bottles crash down around him. >Caps fly off, soap steadily puddling around him. >Mommy dearest sees this, goes into full sprint. >Soap. >If the soap didn't break anything, her body sliding into him would. >She is just stunned, while he's crying and trying to run away. >Still slipping around, can't get footing. >Store owners running to assist while all the passengers are laughing at the two stooges doing their prat fall act. >I am hero. >Black dude drops class act and goes all "S--- homie!" on me. >Buys me breakfast. Continued... >Afterwards, everything is cleaned up. >As much as we begged for him to leave, bus driver refused to leave without the kid and Mom. >She emerges from the store, looking like Shrek had bukkaked her. >Kid has massive bruise along all the left side of his face from her he hit the floor. >She peels matted hair off her face/ >"I will find out which one of you did this to my darling, baby boy." >Pffft, not in a store without security cameras bitch. Anonymous (ID: ALF1AXID) 03/21/14(Fri)03:35:42 UTC No.538220593 Replies: >>538221009 >>538221128 >>538221361 >>538221686 >>538221814 >>538221840 >Back on the bus, riding a high from nearly slaughtering the antichrist. >Four hours left, and then we transfer onto another bus. >Kid still bitching, but this time about his entire body aching. >Should be annoying, but is just music to all of us. >He falls asleep the rest of the way, I get in some shuteye too after a s--- night. >Wake up as bus pulls into some small s------- of a town. >We all get off, some leave, some sit and wait for the next bus. >Mom is very obviously p-----, sticky, tired, and sore. >After sitting there for half an hour, fuming silently. >She stands up and angry-trods over to Blackbro. >"You did this didn't you, you savage. >He calmly denies. >She's on a rant, pointing at people like her finger can shoot bullets. >Few of the locals are hanging around. >Mostly black. >She isn't stupid enough to blatantly say anything racist to Blackbro, who is still calm as f---. >Back and forth, she yells, he denies. >Finally, she says "I've had it with you people." >Starts walking away. >Blackbro, "What do you mean you people?" >It was obvious to everybody she only meant the other passengers, but Blackbro just used the Niggermancer's special trap card. Stay tuned for the grand finish.... Anonymous (ID: ALF1AXId) 03/21/14(Fri)03:43:24 UTC No.538221851 Replies: >>538222101 >>538222128 >>53822 >She's had it. >"I mean you f------ filthy, kid beating n-----!" >On and on she goes, spouting 'n-----' enough to embarass Dave Chappelle. >After a couple of minutes she runs out of breath and slows down. >Blackbro, "Shouldn't have said n----- lady." >"Oh why, you gonna beat me too you f------ monkey?" >Blackbro; "I'm not." THE END >Sits back, opens up newspaper and starts reading. >Mom just confused for a moment, but then turns around. >Remember how I mentioned that all the locals were black. >Frowns everywhere. >Three portly Shanaynays, dolled up in slutty makeup, fake nails and leopard print. >"Where you think you goin' honey?" >Nigress Unit #1 swings into her stomach, Mom bends over in pain. >Nigress Unit # 2 comes in and kicks her in the left shin, knocking her foot off balance. (Have other stories if requested.) >As she falls, Nigress Unit #3 comes forward and grabs her by the hair, adding to her momentum. >Face lands squarely on Unit # 3's giant tree trunk leg knee. >She's out, kid's crying, crowd begins to disperse. >I buy Blackbro lunch. >Bus shows up just around the time the cops do, we all get on and book it as Mom comes to. >She begins to run after the bus as it starts, but realises the futility and turns back. >Last we see of her is her screaming at her kid. >I remember her mentioning the trip was about important business, lol f--- her. I still see Blackbro every time I close my eyes.

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"Fem"anon inquires about men (definitely not bait) | /r/Greentext

- File: frog_guy_839.jpg (7 KB, 229x220) Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)12:25:19 No.73545650 [Reply] ► >be me, 18 year old femanon >friends drag me out to party >having a decent time, actually manage to hold a conversation with a cute 7/10 guy >disgusting little gremlin of a man waddles over >can't be more than 5'10 >250lbs, smells like day old socks and sweat >"H-hey femanon, I t-thought you looked really cu-" >the disgust on my face must be so obvious even the socially inept goblin is able to tell that I want nothing to do with him >he waddles away, never see him again >completely ruins my conversation with 7/10 cute guy Why are men like this?

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anon fell victim to the polish hand grenade | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>19162356 # 04/14/23(Fri) 18:12:08 No.19162469 >grab white onion to cut, last thing to prep for dinner >start to push knife into onion to slice it in half >it gets in maybe a quarter inch and then just slides through like butter >onion shell splits in two >gray soupy onion pus erupts out all over my counter top >by far the worst smell ive ever smelled in my life >intense putrid onion and acidic sulfur smell >start dry heaving and crying >gf is in other room and starts screaming bc the stench travels so fast >she runs in and opens door for me, i cradle the onion abortion and run downstairs and throw it in the trash can >light every candle we have in the house >3 days later going downstairs for work at same time trash guys are unloading cans >old black dude opens my can and stumbles backwards and starts gasping for air >"ah man ah man ah what the f--- man" >pretend not to notice and power walk to car >>19165708 # >>19166059 # >>19168499 # >>19169274 # >>19171254 #

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Anon thought he was safe. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be wagie >computer is in the corner of the office where nobody can see screen >post on 4chan all day im basically a NEET but now I get paid and cant go outside as much >>50631143 # : Anonymous 05/01/19(Wed)08:32:11 No.50631056 >>50631191 # >>50631056 # >computer is in the corner of the office where nobody can see screen You realize your bosses can monitor all of your internet traffic, right? They can see every image you enlarge and read every post you make. 05/01/19(Wed)08:43:25 No.50631143 : Anonymous >>50631143 # I work for a small company, 21 employees. There is no infrastructure and I'd highly doubt that Fergus the IT guy is monitoring my internet traffic. Even if he is, hello Fergus. >>50631208 # 05/01/19(Wed)08:49:18 No.50631191 >>50631204 # >>50631214 # : Anonymous >>50631204 # F--- : Anonymous 05/01/19(Wed)08:51:30 No.50631204 >>50631191 # Hi Mark 05/01/19(Wed)08:52:31 No.50631208

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anon is a bully | /r/Greentext

Benadryl ALLERGY Diphenhydramine HCI 25mg | Antihistamine Runny Nose Ⓒlichy Throat ⒸSneezing chy Watery Eve * ULTRATABS Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)06:46:38 No.73543582 ► >be me, obeses child >also extremly tall and scary >all through middle school i bully little indian and mexican kids to make myself feel better but still have no friends >though it was ok since i could just go on xbox to make friends, and i wasnt being bullied about being fat so thought it was fine >get to highschool end up here and get outcasted even more irl, cant bully anyone anymore without potentally getting jumped since everyone cares about autisitic kids now >this whole time never knew how fat i was just thought i was scary >one kid in 12th grade calls me a fat r----- after class >only time anyone has ever mocked me enough for me to remember why did it take so long for someone to fall me a fatass? if i was constantly mocked and bullied as a kid i might not have turned out such a retard. Im not fat anymore but i could only do it with meth (6'5 170lbs)

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Anon plays red dead redemption 2 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)16:26:35 No.73542025 >>73542049 >>73542115 >>73542132 >>73542134 >>73542153 >>73542204 >>73542708 >>73542725 >>73542829 >>73543003 >>73543120 >>73543357 >live with sister >she goes out to party as usual >set up pc and start playing rdr2 in our big ass flat screen tv in living room while drinking >2 hours later can hear the door opening >its sister and a random guy >look at sister dead in the eye >look at guy and he is looking directly at the game, doesnt even looks at me >can see his eyes are shining like a toddler in a candy shop >sister does the usual w---- talk about taking a shower and going to bed, says she'll wait him at her room >guy says "yeah i'll be right with you", still looking at tv >almost 1 hour later im still playing rdr2 while the guy looks at me going mayhem in every random incounter >at this point i give him the controller because i see his hunger to play >ffw 2 hours >sister suddently appears in living room absolutely mad >guy says "look" and proceeds to kill a O'Driscoll's gang, pile them up and set them on fire >sister looks stunned and goes back to her room without saying anything >2 hours later we are drunk as f--- laughing our asses off throwing random people into alligators >eventually guy says he needs to go home because its too late >give me his number and goes to his house >sister comes out of her room absolutely enraged >says i ruined her night and such b------- >guy texts me he'd like to play again i don't know what to do next

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Anon doesn't understand | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 19Hljfs7) 06/03/23(Sat)03:15:32 No.429261570 >>429261721 >>429261793 >>429261849 >>429261877 >>429261899 >>429261999 >>429262402 >>429262894 >>429263041 >>429268903 >>429259593 (OP) How can two trains collide with each other? How is it possible that a mode of transportation which is so easily controllable and so easily predictable is allowed to come to such a catastrophic disaster? Anonymous (ID: Co9Uwa6B) 06/03/23(Sat)03:43:12 No.429263041 >>429263275 >>429263361 >>429263628 >>429267443 >>429267736 >>429267764 >>429268301 >>429268891 >>429261570 >you are driving a train going 900 miles per hour >you finish texting your 600 casual acquaintances "good morning sir" >you look up at the broken equipment on your trains man control panel to check the time >clock is stopped at 9:13 am >"right on time sir" you say to yourself, proudly >you turn a corner and see another train on the track coming towards you at 900 miles per hour >always prepared to do the needful, your curried hands reach out for the steering wheel like a lightning bolt from Ganesha's trunk >your fine brown hands clench onto empty air >the steering wheel is not there >do trains not have steering wheels?, you think to yourself calmly >perhaps the trains man training manual should be revised to correct this oversight, you speak to nobody in particular in your singsong accented English >you look at the oncoming train and see the blurred face of its conductor Rajesh Pangkotopetalon, who is an acquaintance of yours from the Doctor Bombay Dermatology and Goat Gland Treatment Center >he smiles with his three best teeth and waves a finely manicured yet heavily stained hand at you >good night sir

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Anon buys some good quality perfume | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 31 KB JPG 06/03/23(Sat)12:09:38 No.73543078 I found a hack for your generates who lurks here > be me >really horny but also really lonely > want to experience sexually interactions as realistic as possible > goes to the store and buys some lady perfume > since Im a man of class I actually bought a good quality bottle of paco rabanne pure XS > spray the scent while I masturbate > its like a xp boost > everything seems so realistic > its the best f------ orgasm I ever had You losers need to try this. It felt like a prostitute was actually involved in some way. After I came I just laid there for heaven spritzing the perfume every so often.

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Bruh (i.redd.it) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Orange 5-hour ENERGY REGULAR STRENGTH Vitamins Nutrients ise Sugar Free Cal TA 31 KB JPG 03/25/19(Mon)21:56:22 No.795913984 >be me, on deathbed from terminal cancer >drink 5 hour energy >die 2 hours later What the f---?

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Anon navigates the treacherous waters of love. | /r/Greentext

File: wojaks.jpg (164 KB, 900x542) 809 □ Am I in the wrong here? Anonymous 06/02/23(Fri)00:13:59 No.73531638 >be me >go on movie date with this qt3.14 m'lady I've been seeing >pay for tickets and everything, no problem there >after movie, she wants to go park down by the lake and chill(this was 100% her idea, I was expecting just to take her home) >we get there, I start looking for some good music on my phone to chill with >suddenly the vibe gets sexy >we start making out pretty heavily, she had no issue with me putting my hand up her shirt after a bit >that booba nice >a few minutes later she takes my d--- out of my pants(I didn't ask or anything, it was all her idea to get it out, I was not expecting) >she gives me a little oral but mostly it's a h------ >continue to feel her up all over during the handy, she is cool with that >blow a load all over her hand and arm, get a bunch on the seat >she cleans me up as best as possible with some napkins from the theatre >>73531660 >>73531662 >she gets back in her seat and just kind of gives me this look >she pulls her pants and panties all the way down to her ankles and gets her c--- out >it is fully hard, I can see it throbbing >things immediately get extremely awkward >after a minute, she pulls her pants up >I can tell she's pretty upset I dropped her off at home and she has been blowing up my phone. She thinks I am huge a------ for not reciprocating. I was definitely hoping to get a blowie or some bussy but I didn't want to touch a c--- because I'm not gay.

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Anon goes to a concert | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.11 MB JPG 06/03/23(Sat)08:01:40 No.73541693 >Go to concert >Paid for cheap seats at the end >Sat right f------ next to girl and no one else >Awkward but whatever >Halfway through the show she has enough and gets up, walks away, never returns, misses half the concert >I get ten empty seats to myself and can sit comfortably now Who said being an ugly as sin incel is a curse?

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Anon Says a Joke | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri) 12:52:52 No.52918475 ► >>52918505 >>52918515 >>52918520 >>52918529 >>52918542 >>52918636 >>52918666 >>52918843 >>52919216 >>52919266 >>52919388 >>52919810 >>52920013 >>52921450 >>52924310 >>52925214 >>52926955 >>52927839 >>52928827 >>52929379 >>52929936 >>52930816 >>52933503 >>52934019 >>52934890 >>52935929 >>52936620 File: angrywojak.png (210 KB, 593x635) >>52918093 (OP) Not sure if this is funny or cringe, but here it goes >Do my squats >Make an audible fart >A trio of young girls behind me are giggling >Try to play it cool >"Hey, at least I got this entire area to myself" I shout at them while smiling >They look at me with confusion and one of them goes "what?" >"Well now it smells bad here so nobody will disturb me" >"Um what are you talking about?" >"You know, the fart that I just made smells pretty bad" >"...okay" >Realize they were laughing at something else >Mfw I can never return to that gym You know, the fart that I just made smells pretty bad

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