Anon orders pizza | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 1.29 MB GIF 04/11/23(Tue)12:18:34 No.897401720 >pizza guy arrives >yell out loud 'pizzas here guys!' and have music playing >go to the door and get the pizza and apologise for the noise >give a small tip >go back in and watch a kino and eat the pizza alone because theres no one else there based or cringe?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is a sad monarchist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: BoqUs5Fj) 04/09/23(Sun)19:47:13 No.422884147 GALES Thread Tim Burgess @Tim_Burgess Imagine explaining this to somebody from another planet 9:28 AM 5/10/22 345 Retweets 840 Quote Tweets 3,567 Likes 21EF3B90-2203-4BB6-BD85-9149E3F34837.jpg 1.14 MB JPG LELLELLE >Before a race of parasitic merchants called the Jews took over our planet, we had "monarchs" who were families of great men who through strength and wisdom, led their peoples to create great kingdoms and nations. Most of them were ousted or killed by Jews 100 years ago, but this man is kept alive by a family of Jews called the Rothschild banking clan as a pet, for their amusement. He is a sad creature indeed, deeply in debt and forced to watch from his guilded cage as his country is swallowed up by archaic brown races the Jews brought in as a humiliation ritual. We whites are descendants of Plaedians, from the vicinity of Aldebaran, who you may be familiar with. A group of brave noble men called the "Nazis" led the last rebellion against the Jews 80 years ago, but lost, and now we are under the grip of Jewish tyranny. Let our planet be a cautionary tale and do not make the same mistakes that we did..

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Anon needs to lick and find out | /r/Greentext

>be me, med student >with my younger brother (18) in our private sauna >pretty much naked, sweating as f--- >idea.jpg >"hey bro, we learnt how to test for cystic fibrosis last week at uni, it's really simple, wanna see?" >bro is interested in my studies every time and agrees >"One of the symptoms of cystic fibrosis is salty sweat because normally there is a chloride channel in your sweat glands that removes the salts. So you just need to taste your sweat" >i lick my arm a little >it's a bit salty, as normal sweat is >"my sweat tastes like water, how about yours?" >bro licks his wrist >his expression changes into horrified >"big bro... mine is salty" >"oh crap, really? Better check with someone else" >"you're lying, yours was salty too, wasn't it big bro" >"no, I didn't lie, but you can lick me if you want to" >bro refused He now thinks he has cystic fibrosis and will either have to lick somebody to find out that everyone's sweat is a little salty or ask somebody to lick him. The best part is that the thing about salty sweat is partially true, so a simple internet search will give him mixed results.

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Grunhqr need advice | /r/Greentext

ungabunga.jpg 95 KB JPG >be grungar (me) >banging two rock together for wife >rock get pointy >see pruglor painting on stone >throw pointy rock for him to see >pruglor fall down >go to look >big sleep how to wake pruglor? pruglor sleeping for 3 moons now 3 Replies >>897380430 # View Thread : Anonymous >>897377997 (OP) # grab pointy rock and pruglor bang bang hole butt 04/10/23(Mon)20:35:35 No.897380181 : Anonymous >>897380181 # me call bunglor he tell me 04/10/23(Mon)20:40:56 No.897380430

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Anon comes out on top | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Is there anyone sadder than e-(...) -Origin of tingling sensation. Described as moving downwards, following the line of the spine. Many also feel this in the shoulders Sensation may spread to other areas with increasing intensity, typically the limbs and lower back. 582 KB PNG 04/11/23(Tue)09:52:23 No.72907729 >be me >frequent asmr enjoyer >new asmr hoe comes up in recommends >she has about 1k subs >lot of potential but the camera angles are all wrong >plus she isn't normalizing the audio on her videos so some of the sounds are way too loud >she will probably be successful though once she irons out the details >plus she has big booba >simps are out in full force >one guy is commenting on all her videos with a whole paragraph praising her >he is writing all this dramatic philosophical crap about asmr >she ignores him on every video >I comment "Do you shave your butthole?" on one of her videos >she hearts it and responds "Wouldn't you like to know." >sorry bro, there's just no future in e-simping

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Anons learns something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Study finds a bidirectional link between same-sex attraction and psychological distress by Eric W. Dolan- March 18, 2023 310 KB JPG 03/19/23(Sun)16:14:40 No.72628438 >Research has demonstrated that individuals who are sexually attracted to people of the same sex tend to experience higher levels of psychological distress, including depressive symptoms and anxiety, compared to those who are exclusively heterosexual. >this relationship goes both ways psychological distress can also result in an increase in same-sex attraction https://www.psypost.org/2023/03/study-finds-a- bidirectional-link-between-same-sex-attraction-and- psychological-distress-70189 Everything here makes complete sense now.

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Anon plays chess | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 20 KB PNG 04/11/23(Tue)07:06:13 No.72906754 >start up a chess game >blunder a piece >lose the game and proceed to call my opponent a slur based on their country of origin >refuse rematch yep, its monday night

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Anon ponders | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Is p---- even real? 04/10/23(Mon)08:07:11 No.73479678 1601397864736m.jpg 49 KB JPG

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Anon remembers Robbie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG 04/10/23(Mon)15:51:31 No.897367218 It just dawned on me that the puppet was 100% a part of this guy's m----------- ritual

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I'd be happy to find a condo under a million these days | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 148 KB JPG rates 06/25/22(Sat) 19:57:27 No.69182671 >look up condos in my dream city >find one that looks cool costs 220k >look at the history >in 2020-2022 the price has doubled alone >between now and 2016 it has just been skyrocketing at unreal Its f------ over. I just wanted a small place to call my own

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Anon participates in a game of Truth or Dare. | /r/Greentext

>Be me > 19 yo, 6/10 >Go out for Valentines Day with bestie of 3 years >9/10 >It's technically a date >Dinner and 50 Shades of S--- >Get ice cream afterwards >Give her a glass flower I bought earlier in the month >She loves it and we go for a walk >PULL OUT 5GUM: TRUTH OR DARE, pack >Her wrapper says to take a selfie with eyes closed >She does >I read mine It says to ask the most beautiful person in the room for a kiss >We laugh it off but I remember the glass flower base has a mirror on the bottom side Where's the most beautiful girl at tho? >Look at the mirrored base Oh look I found her! >Show her the mirrored base of the flower >We smile and kiss for the first time ever >She reads her the other part of her wrapper >"What's the most romantic moment you've shared with the person next you?" >"This one right now" >mfw how it feels to chew 5gum

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Anon contributes | /r/Greentext

File: 1436631335464.png (85 KB, 361x333) AKK * [wherever i am i must also shitpost] Anonymous 07/15/15(Wed)05:29:23 No.20496177 ▸ who else /shitpostingenthusiast/ here? >got drunk yesterday >don't remember most of it >woke up with insane hangover >look at 11 hours of browser and event history >apparently I felt some waves of creativity >spammed /r9k/, /pol/, /x/ and /mu/ with idiotic comments >got in a huge inernet fight with some dude from baltic states while roleplaying as slav (I'm strayan) >used switzerland, turkish and russian proxies >have a dozen of pictures of unknown people saved on my hard drive >wrote long ass greentext story about tf no gf, butchered it in half and posted the wall of nonsense >created at least 16 threads, 9 of them in /r9k/. >one had 300+ replies, rest had 5-10 >"sang" a song for /mu/ >got globally m00ted for saying "ayy Imao" in /x/ magick b------- thread >made a screenshot of ban page and named it "proud.jpg" >even tried to c------- >again, don't remember almost anything of it >mfw I'm wereshitposter

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