Anon contributes | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 1436631335464.png (85 KB, 361x333) AKK * [wherever i am i must also shitpost] Anonymous 07/15/15(Wed)05:29:23 No.20496177 ▸ who else /shitpostingenthusiast/ here? >got drunk yesterday >don't remember most of it >woke up with insane hangover >look at 11 hours of browser and event history >apparently I felt some waves of creativity >spammed /r9k/, /pol/, /x/ and /mu/ with idiotic comments >got in a huge inernet fight with some dude from baltic states while roleplaying as slav (I'm strayan) >used switzerland, turkish and russian proxies >have a dozen of pictures of unknown people saved on my hard drive >wrote long ass greentext story about tf no gf, butchered it in half and posted the wall of nonsense >created at least 16 threads, 9 of them in /r9k/. >one had 300+ replies, rest had 5-10 >"sang" a song for /mu/ >got globally m00ted for saying "ayy Imao" in /x/ magick b------- thread >made a screenshot of ban page and named it "proud.jpg" >even tried to c------- >again, don't remember almost anything of it >mfw I'm wereshitposter

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is an observer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 116 KB JPG 04/10/23(Mon)21:39:31 No.72904239 Have you ever watched somone watch Tik Tok without them knowing you are watching them? If you havent you should its a great way to become worried for our generation. As somewhat of an expert in this topic ill walk you through what a person does while watching Tik Tok The thumbs >you can tell how much a person is enjoying a TikTok by watching their thumbs >as they swipe onto a new video their thumb hovers over the screen ready to swipe the second it loses their attention >as they keep watching their thumb slowly makes its way to the side of the screen but if they even get bored for a second it starts to go back over the screen >a back and forth TikTok is like an intricate dance of the thumbs The posture >the posture of the TikToker is one of isolation >their head is leaned in in such a way that they create their own personal bubble and block out the outside world The eyes >oh god the eyes >so entranced with the screen yet at the same time so miserable >such a complex emotion the English language does not yet have the words to describe it >so enthralled with the screen they dont even notice me staring creepily right at them

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Anon can stand on his own legs! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/10/23(Mon)13:56:21 No.72896141 Today I learnt how to use a washing machine, are you ready? >Sort clothes into two seperate groups, white-only and colored (black counts too) >Check if the required temperatures match (usually 30-40 degrees) otherwise seperate them and wash them separately >Having acne? Turn the laundry inside out or if really bad just f------ cook them and don't care about the washed out colors >Then for white laundry you'll use "heavy duty detergent" >For colored and black laundry you'll use "color-safe detergent" >Make sure not to fill the machine up too much Any questions??? Oh yeah baby, I'll put this bad boy on, how the f--- did I a avoid that, s---- simple 51 KB JPG

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Anon works cybersecurity | /r/Greentext

28 KB JPG Bill >be me >cybersecurity analyst >make six figure salary >tell ladies I make a six figure salary >they ask for my name and phone number >I'm too smart to give out my personal information

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Modern Warfare | /r/Greentext

.Il T-Mobile 5:04 PM boards.4channel.org Board /k/ - Weapons File: opchan.jpg (541 KB, 652x924) @ 48% Settings Mobile Home The Future of Warfare Anonymous 04/10/23 (Mon)15:30:24 No.57799588 [Reply] >>57799831 >the year is 2026; China has invaded Taiwan; WW3 has begun >you check Twitter on your break at the drone jammer plant, trying to find real posts about the front among the swarms of astroturf bots shilling Elon Musk's new space elevator company >find a post from SSgt Tanesha Lopez, 82nd Airborne >check bio >"Black Hispanic, trans-ally, IRL justice warrior, Among Us 2 addict - we are ALL American <rainbowflag>" Anonymous 04/10/23 (Mon)15:34:10 No.57799645 Are you OK? >look at post >she's standing on top of several dead Chinks with blood and flesh bits all over the pavement in the middle of an intersection in Seoul as giant LCD billboards around her, damaged by shrapnel, glitch out trying to play Samsung ads >her M7 is painted pink and her backback is covered in anime stickers and Among Us memes >beneath her IVAS googles her mouth is covered by a face mask with an ahegao mouth printed on it >the post reads "UwU I try my best but sumtimes chuds just make me so mad I can't deal wth it. Does this break opsec? Srry nt srry lul" >among the hordes of simps in the comments you find Cpt. DeQuan Johnson who says >"Yeah but so does me replyin Imao, also nice shooting, u go queen!"

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Tom - "Spanko!" | /r/Greentext

03/11/21(Thu)16:09:29 No.849351555 Anonymous In the late 1600s, London was plagued by a sexual attacker, dubbed 'Whipping Tom', who would spank his victims with his hand or sometimes a rod and shout 'Spanko!' before running away. ping Tom ping lone B122A23B-9CCE-45B3-9E8F-5E2E9EC5AFFB.jpg 213 KB JPG >1600 >Be me, Whipping Tom >Decide it would be humorous to slap some wenches on their bottoms >Starts as a joke but I quickly develop a liking for it, and become quite renound for my spankings, as I'm fleet of foot and yet to be caught >Flash forward over 400 years >Countless great and powerful men have died and been long forgotten, but my tale is still told and my name remembered >Spanko!

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How anon likes it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous LIGES 81 03/02/23(Thu)10:04:35 No.17149494 chuddle bass.png 126 KB PNG >I'll take a triple catholic deluxe, who can cook. 4x4 trad style, no older than 23. White only, no degree, unvaxxed and still a virgin

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Anon Watches Baby Einstein | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous boby 04/10/23 (Mon)10:12:23 No.897356029 >be me, around 4 years old >ask my father to watch baby einstein >it isn't on cable TV right now >piratingtime.jpg >he finds a pirated link >plays it and goes away >older sister joins me >dad doesn't realize this wasn't baby einstein >video is actually p--- >video of a Man dressed as Albert Einstein reviving A Female Zombie and the Zombie starts sucking off Albert Einsteins C--- >i start crying 49 KB JPG >my sister runs to my mom and tells her >mom turns off the PC Thanks Albert Einstein for Disturbing me as a Child 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon doesn't like tipping | /r/Greentext

kh640QMt #1, No. 54532193 4/10/23 4:45:31 AM 1681123513098 JPG 471x565 147.9 kB Red Flag Bingo Has a Short desktop Virgin Poor Lots of free time 30/ w p Puppe Spende be un computer car Leaghs a rabled Racist people Racely Does parents drugs Android Dumb phone >be me, European >visiting the USA for the first time >staying with a long time friend in South Calorina >taking her to random restaurants/bars and tiping $0 >if any server ask me why, I just say that I am European >they ask confused and don't bother me anymore >my friend is surprised that it's possible to do this W--?? Nobody really thought about this on the USA? Hyper political Religious tresh ple

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Anon isn’t interested in other women | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 105 KB JPG 04/10/23(Mon)17:27:41 >get along with women as ftiends >treat women like men in public and private >they're just people like everyone else >can't keep them from falling for me even though I just want friends No.72898124 for some reason how do women think they can just assume I want to be more than friends when I'm married? I just get along with women better but they always eventually ruin our friendship by confessing or doing something cringe like snapping inappropriate photos or texts. I wish women could see guys as people and not just sex objects so I could have friends >>72898160 # Anonymous >>72898124 (OP) # >>can't keep them from falling for me even though I just want friends for some reason Never happened and OP is a f----- 04/10/23 (Mon)17:28:32 No.72898136

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Rajeet the pol-tard has been caught red handed | /r/Greentext

File: 4CB070B8-F504-4B45-8B67-0(...).png (121 KB, 294x360) O Sikhs are based Anonymous (ID: qcPp4vQ0) 04/09/23(Sun)23:48:55 No.422957594 [Reply] ► >chad jaw >gigachad beard (high testosterone) >carry swords for self defence >warrior culture Are Sikhs based? Anonymous (ID: HJYS7YtZ) 3 04/09/23(Sun)23:49:39 No.422957656 Youre a streetshitter aint you

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Anon wonders why conservatives are so easily triggered | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/10/23(Mon)17:09:06 No.30463643 [Reply] >>30463745 >>30463768 >>30463808 >>30463657 >>30463661 >tfw mom is transphobic >she occasionally sends me right wing stuff to troll me, like matt walsh, facebook memes >sends me some stupid boomer meme about Dylan Mulvaney not being a real woman drinking beer >decide to troll her back because I'm tired of her mocking me >say "wow that's kinda funny, wanna see something else funny?" >replies with sure >send her a video from /gif/ of a guy being hacked to death by a machete >"WHAT THE F--- WHY DID YOU SEND THIS" and she blocks my number I think shes mad at me and is gonna yell at me later. Why are conservatives so easily triggered? Showing all replies. Anonymous 04/10/23(Mon)17:10:38 No.30463656 Zased, very zased. I knell. Anonymous 04/10/23(Mon)17:10:43 No.30463657 >>30463643 (OP) waow so epic :3 Anonymous 04/10/23 (Mon)17:11:17 No.30463661 >>30463708 >>30463643 (OP) >send her a video from /gif/ of a guy being hacked to death by a machete Sanest channer.

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Real men hold in their feelings | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 08/13/21(Fri) 10:03:07 No.64958073 >be almost 24-y/o virgin >was thinking about starting a youtube channel to talk about my problems and how people ge themselves into my situation >lunatic incel murders 5 people in my country >yet more stoking the flames of male virgin/incel hatred yeah maybe it's not a good idea lol guess i'm just gonna have to be alone with my troubles

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