Anon searches for Blue Moom | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: HUH.png (672 KB, 678x540) >there's one almost 9 miles away >we all pile in the car and go there >"hi do you have blue moon" >"no" >"we've got a partial-" >"yes" >friend purchases it immediately >other customers just staring at us >we leave >look at the ingredient label on the box >"blue moon flavor" >mfw >lady at the desk waits a couple seconds while we all just stand there >"I'll go check in the back" >a few minutes later O blue moon Anonymous 03/11/23(Sat)20:52:05 No.895736825 [Reply] ▶ >chatting with some friends >they mention "blue moon" ice cream >never heard of it >ask what's in it Wait, what? >nobody knows >google it >nobody knows >find an article blue moon? >they're desperately trying to find out what's in it >nobody knows >someone asks "are there any ice cream shops nearby" >> Anonymous 03/11/23(Sat)20:57:42 No.895737127 File: file.png (283 KB, 490x366) Dude...

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Dr. Disrespect's NFT machine | /r/Greentext

Dr Disrespect @DrDisrespect - 20h Imagine trying to 'extract' with an item you discovered worth $100,000 on the chain. Think about entertainment value as a viewer let alone player. A new pvp experience is upon us... 2,541 2,090 Dr Disrespect @DrDisrespect 633 Retweets 252 Quote Tweets 15K The concept of digital collectibles in an online game is so exciting to me. Especially an extraction type of game. (Sat) People saying scam and 'ugh' are just brain dead headline followers. Same people that spend a ton on skins for an annual release game. Same skins everyone has too. 12:43 PM Mar 5, 2023 1.2M Views 7,052 Likes 5.1M Fqj3En2WIAACKPs.jpg 153 KB JPG : Anonymous didn't read lol >play Dr Disrespect's magnum opus >randomly stumble upon one of the rarest finds in the game... a one of a kind pristine pure diamond bust of a unique Bored Ape NFT... that item is worth 250 thousand dollars in game, and its now in my hands... >250k grand... literally a lifechanger. I've never even DREAMED of getting this much money, just from playing a videogame! Truly amazing! >this really could be a lifechanger... maybe finally I can go for that dream vacation with my family... or maybe I'll invest and multiply that sum? Finally things are looking up... thank you for bringing such opportunities to gaming, Dr Disrespect! >>630496551 # >>630498463 # 1812 >almost there... just need to get out and l- >*suddenly get one shot through a thick concrete wall* >enter Xxx_ChangChinagamerHD_xxX, his discount sweatshop microphone barely able to output anything more than noise >NICE GOIN AMERIKAN F---- NUB I R--- YOUR MUTHA >000 WAS DIS BORE APE NFT WOOOOT TO FIFTI TAUSEND AMERIKAN DOLLA WOOOW HAHA TENKS AMERIKAN I R--- UR MOTHA I R--- UR SISTAH >SEE YU AMERIKAN 9/11 GOOD TIME 03/11/23(Sat) 14:32:41 No.630491914

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Anon wants a hug | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/02/18 (Wed)18:48:52 No.45089266 >>45089296 File: 571.png (81 KB, 658x901) SAUN >go to hug mum >she dabs on me instead mummy no

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Anon's cousin loves 40K | /r/Greentext

#46, No. 135972932 3 minutes ago 1606269304973 JPG 640x605 64.5 kB >had family over >little cousin sees some of my models >goes "ohhhhh... so this is where buzz lightyear is from" >this was before lightyear came out >he apparently fell down a 40k lore youtuber rabbithole for a while and genuinely thought that buzz lightyear was just from a space marine chapter he didnt know about yet >movie comes out >he thought it was going to be a 40k movie poor kid

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The game was rigged from the beginning | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: M991 Yhv3 D 03/11/23(Sat)15:16:55 No.419323368 1610549891101.jpg 897 KB JPG >bro just go to the gym >bro just shave your head >bro just take a shower >bro just grow a beard >bro just go outside and get some sun >bro just stop giving a f---, be confident, be tough, the p---- will come crawling to you Yikes. It looks like Chad's advice was b-------. I guess not everyone has a chance. Some guys are just screwed. Why do we keep lying to ugly people and telling them they have a chance? Is it to keep them from snapping and going on shooting sprees?

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Anon is put in place. | /r/Greentext

1 REPLY > be me > have naive 24 yo girlfriend > works in a smoke shop > talks to skeezy guys all day > tries to make friends despite skeeziness > friendly 40+ yo guy is a regular > has fat wife and 4 kids > they talk a few times, then exchange numbers > this continues for a few weeks > one morning the texts change > guy talks a lot about sexual desires > "me and my wife are thinking about adding a third person to the bedroom" > "we'd love to find someone hot like you" > gf reminds him she's in a relationship > he replies: "i know, I didn't mean you" > she ends conversation politely and tells me everything what's the play, /b/? Anonymous 10 minutes ago >>817854302 (OP) F--- his fat wife and treat her like s---. Slap her around and spit in her face. Film it and send it to him. Wait three solid months, then show up at his house and beat his ass with a baseball bat. Tell him your planning to f--- his wife again and to let her know to get her a------ ready for you. Tell him this is only the beginning and if he wants to f--- around you can always cripple one of his bitch ass kids. Make it a point to come around every three or four years and repeat the lesson. Destroy his life. 817855095

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Anon is a cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 82 KB JPG 1 Reply 01/10/19(Thu)12:24:45 No.50347100 Roast me. >Yes, this is my actual pic. Page 2 View Thread : Anonymous >>50347100 (OP) # Why would I roast a cat? That's something the Chinese would do. 01/10/19(Thu)12:33:46 No.50347178

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Go to schewll | /r/Greentext

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Grinder has Been Successfully Installed on Your Device. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 4 Replies 03/10/23(Fri) 18:59:47 No.72521985 >26 years old never had a gf. >people think i am gay >they even trying to talk to me saying its ok >even though I say I'm not >they keep pushing s--- on me I do not know what to do I think that i will r--- a woman in front of them View Thread

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Anon understands non-verbals | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/10/23(Fri)18:36:38 No.895661122 >>895661188 >>895661403 >>895662294 >>895662523 >>895662764 >>895662915 >>895662994 >>895660577 (OP) >girls say "i have a boyfriend" >instead of "i don't want to" >it's not that they wouldn't >but they can't right now >i don't want him to find out >shouldn't break his heart >he might get upset or he might get angry >his reaction might hurt me or my life >i need to keep his trust until i'm his wife >then i'll say that i'm married but >my husbands not here tonight so we could touch >you can stay the night and sleep in his bed >just lay back on the bed and we'll start with head >nod your head up and down just like that >if you promise me a climax i'll remember that fact >it's not that i don't want to >it's just that i can't right now Anonymous 03/10/23(Fri) 18:43:04 No.895661403 >>895661427 >>895661475 >>895661528 >>895661858 >>895662528 >>895663131 >>895663289 >>895663467 >>895663744 >>895664324 >>895664886 >>895665263 >>895665440 >>895665706 >>895666159 >>895666714 >>895666948 >>895667274 >>895667698 >>895667957 >>895668360 >>895668789 >>895669503 >>895670201 >>895670646 File: first warning.png (764 KB, 1404x932) >>895661122 Sometimes they can tell you without opening their mouths.

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Anon hates the USA | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/11/23(Sat)01:40:24 No.178964720 ► >>178964768 >>178965876 >>178966009 >>178963581 We unironically owe you nothing >be nascent amerishart republic >beg for French help against the British, receive 1 billion livres worth of weapons and supplies as well as the military support of France and its allies (Spain and the Netherlands, three global empires) >finally defeat the British as the French navy breaks the naval siege of Yorktown and lands reinforcements >fast forward 20 years later, France has a revolution of its own, amerishartia refuses to keep paying its loans to France because of the regime change (despite being the product of a revolution itself) >breaks alliance with France and signs the Jay Treaty of Amity and Commerce with its old British masters (only to get bitten in the ass 20 years later as the British burn the White House) >fast forward to WW1 >the British and French are holding the line and starving the Germans while the rest of the Central Powers are on the verge of collapse >America uses the Zimmermann telegram as an excuse to join the war (but really Wilson wanted to ensure Britain and France were in a state to repay their loans after the war) >land in France, contribute absolutely nothing beyond assisting in the rout of a demoralised German army >Wilson actively opposes an invasion of German territory, thereby preventing the allies from driving the point home that they lost, leading to the stab-in-back-myth >at the Paris Peace Conference, shoot down every French demand to ensure its security against Germany-promise France a defensive alliance instead in the event of another German chimpout (lol) >create an utterly inefficient Treaty of Versailles, referred to as a "20 year truce" by Supreme Commander Foch, who was posthumously proven right >in the 1920s, team up with the British to actively prevent France and Belgium from obtaining reparations from the Germans despite the utter devastation in northeastern France and Belgium >in 1939, be nowhere to be seen despite former promises to intervene >in 1944, "liberate" France by bombing Normandy and wrecking a lot more havoc than the Germans did in five years of military occupation (rapes, civilian murders) >refuse to recognise France as a victor despite contributions by the Free French Forces >try to turn France into a puppet state but be prevented from doing so by the fact that de Gaulle's large army of partisans would have made it a hassle, as well as Churchill's vouching for a French seat at the UNSC >fast forward to the Suez Crisis, utterly betray both your British and French allies, indirectly destroying both empires >fast forward to the Iraq War, feel "betrayed" when France refuses to join your misguided crusade and start calling us surrender monkeys History is written by the victors so this might be forgotten, but I won't forget. Americans are not trustworthy, we owe you nothing and you are only our allies on paper. If Washington DC was reduced to ashes tomorrow, I would cheer. America is not only a nation of trannies and crooks, you're also the worst thing that has happened to Western civilisation. Total mutt death.

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Anon buys a GOTY collector's edition. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)21:50:08 No.226042642 [▼] >>226042746 >>226042752 >>226042768 >>226042820 >>226042905 >>226042930 >>226042945>>226042973 >>226043064>>226043080 >>226043326 >>226043330 >>226043335 >>226043450 >>226043538 >>226043542 >>226043567 >>226043576 >>226043617 >>226043750 >>226043921 >>226043991 >>226044047 >>226044086 >>226044126 >>226044153 >>226044248 >>226044314 >>226044664 >>226045665 >>226046278 >>226046442 >>226046473 >>226046497 >>226047086 >>226047184>>226047259 >>226047324 >>226047487 >>226047490 >>226049449 >>226049746 >>226050095 >>226050120 >>226050447 >>226051565 >>226052227 >>226052757 >>226052814>>226053026 >>226053878 >>226054179 >>226054472 >>226055069 >>226055958 >>226056608 >>226056836 >>226056889 >>226057132 >>226057335>>226057573 >>226058282 >>226059678 >>226060909 >>226061492 >>226062482 20140106_142115.jpg (144 KB, 640x480) google iqdb SORCERYSAGA >>226042642 Hahahahahaha PRVITA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SORCERYSAGA Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)22:16:24 No.226046278 [▼] 1365420349518.png (278 KB, 406x385) google iqdb >>226042642 >playing a game literally for toddlers Didn't it come with a diaper as well OP? Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)21:51:03 No.226042746 [▼] >>226044047 Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)21:51:06 No.226042752 [▼] 1280837759369.png (54 KB, 145x145) google iqdb >>226042642 >>226042642 >It doesn't come with complimentary diapers 0/10 would not buy Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)22:48:31 No.226050447 [▼] >>226051793 SORCERYS Anonymous 01/07/14(Tue)00:05:05 No.226060909 [▼] 1376298384083.png (448 KB, 455x395) google iqdb >>226042642 Late to the party but this is solid f------ gold Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)22:37:48 No.226049050 [▼] 1389030958248.jpg (248 KB, 600x636) google iqdb >>226048974 33 >>226048974 THIS N---- Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:05:55 No.226052761 [▼] 12314710.jpg (24 KB, 600x450) google iqdb Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:10:04 No.226053317 [▼] >>226048974 how can one OP be so based? Jesus Christ, you magnificent bastard. Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:25:06 No.226055337 [▼] 1345767706370.gif (1.88 MB, 480x270) google iqdb >>226048974 >>226048974 What the f--- -AYSAGA APIVITA Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:35:58 No.226056946 [▼] its an abstract kind of h(...).gif (2.44 MB, 260x195) google iqdb >>226048974 when i think you guys amused me enough, then a surprise i f------ love you /v/ Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:44:08 No.226058021 [▼] 1368563893791.jpg (64 KB, 685x564) google iqdb SORCERYSAGA Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)22:11:31 No.226045665 [▼] >>226042642 the peak of vita library Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)22:49:21 No.226050550 [] Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)22:45:58 No.226050086 [▼] holy shet.jpg (969 KB, 5000x5000) google iqdb >>226048974 ORCERYCIF >>226042480 Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)21:48:55 No.226042480 [▼] >>226042642 >>226042668 >>226042930 >>226043991 >>226048489 >>226049532 >>226049746 >>226057132 >>226062482 20140106 141901.jpg (128 KB, 640x480) google igdb Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:29:10 No.226055958 [▼] >>226056212 26781.jpg (6 KB, 230x220) google iqdb Wow...uh t-thanks alot...I guess you p------------ Anonymous 01/07/14(Tue)00:31:14 No.226064252 [] >>226064593 >>226042642 this is the point when you realise your life is over Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)22:40:18 No.226049363 [▼] 1386653173072.jpg (65 KB, 500x538) google iqdb I love you. phil_face_by_brianc 1006-d(...).png (96 KB, 794x932) google iqdb >>226048974 >>226048974 Is this the end of everything? nice >>226042642 First great thread of 2014. Great job OP, enjoy waddling to your crib. SORCERYSACH Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)22:00:38 No.226044086 [▼] 1374945882174.gif (1.28 MB, 960x540) google iqdb not much later, our stallion of an OP drops this final bomb. Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)22:37:15 No.226048974 [] >>226049050 >>226049191 >>226049212 >>226049231 >>226049234>>226049363 >>226049379 >>226049387 >>226049419 >>226049421 >>226049486 >>226049537 >>226049647 >>226049689 >>226049746 >>226049869 >>226049927 >>226050086 >>226050156 >>226050240 >>226050335 >>226050343 >>226050550 >>226051125 >>226051317 >>226051390 >>226051468 >>226051489 >>226051697 >>226051718 >>226051840 >>226051889 >>226051921 >>226051943 >>226052217 >>226052375 >>226052401 >>226052575 >>226052585>>226052612 >>226052651 >>226052757 >>226052761 >>226052779 >>226052786 >>226052854 >>226052962 >>226053075 >>226053104 >>226053115 >>226053148 >>226053196 >>226053234 >>226053290 >>226053317 >>226053325>>226053329 >>226053342 >>226053369 >>226053414>>226053470 >>226053485>>226053502 >>226053602 >>226053667 >>226053713 >>226053754 >>226053757 >>226053791 >>226053878 >>226053953 >>226053976 >>226053981 >>226054006 >>226054091 >>226054119 >>226054171 >>226054259 >>226054306 >>226054371 >>226054438 >>226054451 >>226054563 >>226054663 >>226054786 >>226054838 >>226054878 >>226054992 >>226054993 >>226055240 >>226055316 >>226055325>>226055337 >>226055546 >>226055663 >>226055702 >>226055718 >>226055837 >>226055861 >>226055978 >>226056159 >>226056180 >>226056280 >>226056340 >>226056462 >>226056550 >>226056590 >>226056670 >>226056709 >>226056724 >>226056776 >>226056786 >>226056946 >>226056952 >>226057025 >>226057039 >>226057117 >>226057132 >>226057191 >>226057410 >>226057573 >>226057649 >>226057696 >>226057796 >>226057884>>226057909 >>226058021 >>226058057 >>226058282 >>226058326 >>226058384>>226058515 >>226058587 >>226059189 >>226059334 >>226059392 >>226059645 >>226059731 >>226060295>>226060416 >>226060919 >>226061103 >>226061219 >>226061250 >>226061395 >>226062206 >>226062306 >>226062791 >>226062957 >>226063364 Snapshot_20140106.jpg (39 KB, 640x480) google iqdb Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:06:06 No.226052786 [▼] >>226048974 you're a beautiful m----------- Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:15:34 No.226054091 [▼] 1389013766567.png (26 KB, 154x191) google iqdb >>226048974 Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)22:17:58 No.226046473 [] >>226046879 1306143040343.gif (517 KB, 115x86) google iqdb >>226048974 I have no words. >>226042346 Oh yeah! My goty came in today! Lets see the cool s--- it came with! Oh boy it fits. Now it is time to cook some curry ber >>226042642 >game comes with a literal 'Eat Sony's S---' kit for the vitoddlers So >>226042642 The thought of OP playing this with the bib had me laughing for a solid 10 minutes. Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:34:29 No.226056709 [▼] 151356485413.png (62 KB, 170x192) google iqdb Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:35:37 No.226056889 [▼] 1377298279905.png (74 KB, 171x278) google iqdb Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)21:55:28 No.226043326 [▼] >>226044047 >>226042642 Take Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:42:34 No.226057796 [▼] 1385944683077.png (204 KB, 415x280) google iqdb >>226048974 WELL I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)22:40:45 No.226049421 [▼] 1388371058349.png (33 KB, 413x516) google iqdb >>226048974 You look exactly like I expected beautiful >>226042642 god f------ dammit this really is too much s--- on the bowl. Please. Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:03:02 No.226052375 [▼] 1356897144152.jpg (34 KB, 544x400) google iqdb Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:11:17 No.226053502 [▼] drwhat.gif (911 KB, 320x200) google iqdb >>226048974 what Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:17:39 No.226054371 [▼] 1388287776143.png (199 KB, 376x383) google iqdb >>226048974 you are a man of peerless might OP i hope one day i get to be as glorious as you >>226048974 Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)22:23:33 No.226047184 [▼] Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)22:56:26 No.226051489 [▼] 1378248706209.jpg (100 KB, 682x600) google iqdb >>226048974 OP you are a f------ god Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:24:18 No.226055240 [▼] 1361025781886.jpg (33 KB, 500x465) google iqdb >>226048974 God bless you, OP. Anonymous 01/07/14(Tue)00:07:21 No.226061219 [▼] >>226048974 I'm not even upset, I'm just impressed. >>226042642 You have earned the f----- title of all of 4chan. I wanted to calm down before I went to bed and then I come across this s---. I've been laughing with the power of a nuclear explosion for ten minutes and the tears keep rolling down my cheeks Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:16:10 No.226054179 3.jpg (45 KB, 640x412) google iqdb >>226042642 Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:40:45 No.226057573 [▼] 169779840.jpg (78 KB, 1009x729) google iqdb >>226042642 >>226048974 im simply out of words Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)21:53:32 No.226043064 [▼] 1370441074349.jpg (16 KB, 229x204) google iqdb >>226042642 Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:10:15 No.226053342 [▼] m-my pipes.jpg (10 KB, 260x260) google iqdb >>226048974 WHAT IS HAPPENING Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:04:50 No.226052612 [ >>226048974 his powerlevel is off the charts Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:18:09 No.226054451 [] >>226054631 1369238291383.png (3 KB, 184x172) google iqdb >>226048974 >you will never be this based Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:21:16 No.226054878 [✔] 1340494836287.jpg (66 KB, 438x600) google iqdb >>226048974 The end of /v/ for today. OP wins Anonymous 01/07/14(Tue)00:00:30 No.226060295 [▼] 1382129000439.jpg (70 KB, 330x319) google iqdb >>226048974 too much. I'm gonna wet myself Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:53:16 No.226059334 [▼] 1365948478198.jpg (170 KB, 1000x1562) google iqdb >>226048974 I have no words. May you live forever, OP.

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Anon discovers the secret of happiness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Boymoder MRI 03/11/23(Sat)23:21:59 No.72530491 5 Пятерочка «51 Tamepouka 06.19.2019.3-1.jpg 212 KB JPG Just had to go shave, take a moonlit walk to the store, eat some frozen mango and I'm feeling alive again after being depressed all day. Guess that's all it takes to be happy bros

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