Anon had a lovely day at the zoo | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: DOB29E96-F628-4495-ADA9-E(...).jpg (919 KB, 1060x1067) Recently had a lovely day at the local ZOO. >go to zoo on sunny day >buy ice cream >see lions and monkeys >amazed by diversity and beauty of nature >see giraffes >they have huge tongues dripping with saliva >wonder if there is p--- of giraffes licking fat womens p---- The internet did not disappoint.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anons discuss Minecraft Skyblock | /r/Greentext

239 KB PNG >Download map >Start world >F--- up cobblestone generator, obsidian block appears instead >Delete world >Restart >Get cobblestone generator right this time >Go over to tree, break all blocks >Saplings either don't spawn or fall off the side >Delete world >Restart As fun as it was, can we admit this was really f------ stupid : Anonymous 03/09/23(Thu)12:03:31 No.630317909 this made zoomers s--- their pants out of excitement 03/09/23(Thu)12:03:34 No.630317912 : Anonymous >>630317801 (OP) # >vanilla my brother in christ you should play one of those modded packs and i'm not talking about the ones with projectE or lootbags h-------- f--- those 03/09/23(Thu)12:03:46 No.630317927 : Anonymous >>630317801 (OP) # >Get over to the sand island >Accidentally break a block dropping the whole f------ island >Delete world >Restart This is soul

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German anon tells a story. | /r/Greentext

11/06/16(Sun)15:36:19 No.710790240 Sorry for s------ English I'm Germany but today encountered I on Autismus the Street Autism Person >am me >walk happy down Street because I've new Headphoneset Anonymous 131 KB JPG >then see I very very weirdo Person that runs and the Hands is flapping >Say him "Hello there, not normal!" >And he gived me instant Sorrow that I did that >follow me fast with much cry of "ÖÖÖNNNGHÜOÜÜÜHNN" though entire Street >he is fast and gives not f--- about car in Street that him is moving very fast >he becomes hit by Car >I run like Devil out of Scene

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anon cooks a meal | /r/Greentext

Î 18 KB PNG >be me at 18 >Kicked out of house >Move into college dorm >First day at dorm decide to use my cooking skills and make a ton of food >It's greasy as f---, tons of delicious meat ready to enter my mouth >Turn on family guy so I can laugh at something >Focus on it a bit too long and burn my food a bit, ah well >Notice there's a ton of grease, like enough to soak Goku's ass >Start pouring it down the drain, it takes like 30 seconds to get all of it down >I don't think much of it for awhile >Rinse and repeat, I do this multiple times >End up having to pay some plumber dude to fix my drainage system >Roommate calls me a retard This keeps me up at night

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Anon recites wisdom literature | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 48 KB PNG : Anonymous 53 KB JPG 03/09/23(Thu)08:35:43 No.72505160 >sin under the sun 03/09/23(Thu)10:07:14 No.72505892 >nothing new under the sun shalom gentiles

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Anon is being misgendered by a door | /r/Greentext

O MISGENDERED BY A DOOR Anonymous 03/10/23(Fri)00:04:20 No.72507072 [Reply] >>72507757 > >be me >born as male, biologically male, identify as male >at work >workplace has a security system that locks certain doors unless you have the right permissions to use them >for some reason this includes several of the toilets >go to use one of the male toilets >door refuses to open, stays locked >try again, still locked >later in the day >need to use toilet again >check the nearby disabled toilet since those are unisex >unlocks perfectly fine >confused.jpg >male coworker passes by >ask them to try the door >works perfectly fine and unlocks >try to unlock it myself again after it relocks >STILL LOCKED >try unlocking the female toilet to check if its an issue with the toilets in general >it unlocks without issue >give up and use the disabled toilet >try a different part of the workplace to avoid previous issue >go to unlock that male toilet >THIS ONE ALSO REFUSES TO UNLOCK >try the nearby disabled and women's toilets >BOTH OPEN WITHOUT ISSUE >mfw i'm being misgendered by a goddamn door

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anon figures out American politics | /r/Greentext

EXPOSE THE LIES! 02dc-riot-photo01-superJumbo.jpg 802 KB JPG How people think American politics are >Independent: smart >Democrat: the best option >Republican: racist, transphobic assholes American politics in reality >Independent: nonexistent >Republican: I don't care about you, give me your money >Democrat: I will pretend to care about you, give me even more of your money.. also you have to share views that match ours or you're banned from most websites

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anon loves Todd | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/16/15(Sun)14:46:02 No.306649747 >>306650219 >>306648536 >I was only 9 years old >I loved Todd Howard so much, I had all the merchandise and games >I pray to Todd Howard every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given >"Todd is love" I say; "Todd is life" >My dad hears me and calls me a f----- >I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Bethesda >I called him a c--- >He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep >I'm crying now, and my face hurts >I lay in bed and it's really cold >Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me >It's Todd >I am so happy He whispers into my ear "Have you preordered Fallout 4 yet?" >He grabs me with his powerful hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees >I'm ready >I spread my ass-cheeks for Todd >He penetrates my butt-hole >It hurts so much but I do it for Todd >I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water >I push against his force >I want to please Todd >He Screams in a girly shriek as he fills my butt with his love >My dad walks in >Todd looks him straight in the eyes and says "It just works." >Todd leaves through my window >Todd is love. Todd is life.

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Anon critiques 90's women | /r/Greentext

File: 1893-vs-1993.jpg (504 KB, 720x720) 1893 1993 What went so wrong? Anonymous 03/08/23(Wed)19:35:10 No.72499802 [Reply] ► >>72499812 Why were women in the 1980s and 1990s so ugly? >> Anonymous 03/08/23 (Wed)19:36:51 No.72499812 ► >>72499837 >>72499802 (OP) Post your face ugly incel and lets critique you >> Anonymous 03/08/23 (Wed)19:40:17 No.72499837 ► File: (me).png (391 KB, 879x600) 16 >>72499812 Looks like I struck a nerve, hm?

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"4chan is full of hackers and incels" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 63 KB PNG : Anonymous I love him >bee 03/09/23(Thu)16:07:54 No.895601750 03/09/23(Thu)16:21:02 No.895603103

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Anon is the "cactus man" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous cactus ruined my life 03/09/23(Thu)14:15:40 No.72504563 > be me, 19yo incel dumbass at IT college > mom have an obsession with cactus, have dozens of them > upload pics of me with cactus in the back 202 KB PNG > get pretty popular and known as the "cactus man" at college > act like I'm a cactus fan and often buy some at the garden center nearby college > poeple sometimes ask me selfies because they think it's funny > be me, in class and extremely bored > bought a cactus earlier (not important) > there's this bitch being a f------ loud monkey in front of me > friend say: "I swear to god I'm f------ kill her" > we start joking around whispering things we'ill do to her > AUTISM KICKS IN > say out very loud: "I swear to god I'm f------ gonna r--- her to death with this f------ cactus" > fuckingfuck.avi > everyone stop talking > poeple look at me with horrified expressions > mfw now everyone hates me and want me dead > mfw I'm now known as the "cactus r-----" > mfw cactus > mfw

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Anon wants to play vidya games just like in his kiddie days | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous This world is just a dream, and I'm done with dreaming! 02/26/23(Sun)21:45:49 No.72374007 I wish I could enjoy playing video games instead of being constantly inundated by the sense of arbitrariness and pointlessness in it and feeling like I'm wasting my life. But it's not like I can get anything I want in real life anyway no matter what I do, so what does it matter if nothing I achieve in a game has any constructive impact on my real life? How much different is it really, striving for artificial goals in real life? What objective value is there in experiencing physical sensations over simply 297 KB PNG imagining things? I know several guys who are happy just coming home from work and playing video games every day, and I wish I could be like them and enjoy a simple, easily attainable life.

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Anon wants to summon a cat girl. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Catgirl Succubus 03/22/19(Fri)21:09:57 No.22393603 nekopara.jpg 158 KB JPG How do i summon a catgirl succubus? www.taigome.org

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