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Î 18 KB PNG >be me at 18 >Kicked out of house >Move into college dorm >First day at dorm decide to use my cooking skills and make a ton of food >It's greasy as f---, tons of delicious meat ready to enter my mouth >Turn on family guy so I can laugh at something >Focus on it a bit too long and burn my food a bit, ah well >Notice there's a ton of grease, like enough to soak Goku's ass >Start pouring it down the drain, it takes like 30 seconds to get all of it down >I don't think much of it for awhile >Rinse and repeat, I do this multiple times >End up having to pay some plumber dude to fix my drainage system >Roommate calls me a retard This keeps me up at night

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Anon recites wisdom literature | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 48 KB PNG : Anonymous 53 KB JPG 03/09/23(Thu)08:35:43 No.72505160 >sin under the sun 03/09/23(Thu)10:07:14 No.72505892 >nothing new under the sun shalom gentiles

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Anon is being misgendered by a door | /r/Greentext

O MISGENDERED BY A DOOR Anonymous 03/10/23(Fri)00:04:20 No.72507072 [Reply] >>72507757 > >be me >born as male, biologically male, identify as male >at work >workplace has a security system that locks certain doors unless you have the right permissions to use them >for some reason this includes several of the toilets >go to use one of the male toilets >door refuses to open, stays locked >try again, still locked >later in the day >need to use toilet again >check the nearby disabled toilet since those are unisex >unlocks perfectly fine >confused.jpg >male coworker passes by >ask them to try the door >works perfectly fine and unlocks >try to unlock it myself again after it relocks >STILL LOCKED >try unlocking the female toilet to check if its an issue with the toilets in general >it unlocks without issue >give up and use the disabled toilet >try a different part of the workplace to avoid previous issue >go to unlock that male toilet >THIS ONE ALSO REFUSES TO UNLOCK >try the nearby disabled and women's toilets >BOTH OPEN WITHOUT ISSUE >mfw i'm being misgendered by a goddamn door

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anon figures out American politics | /r/Greentext

EXPOSE THE LIES! 02dc-riot-photo01-superJumbo.jpg 802 KB JPG How people think American politics are >Independent: smart >Democrat: the best option >Republican: racist, transphobic assholes American politics in reality >Independent: nonexistent >Republican: I don't care about you, give me your money >Democrat: I will pretend to care about you, give me even more of your money.. also you have to share views that match ours or you're banned from most websites

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anon loves Todd | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/16/15(Sun)14:46:02 No.306649747 >>306650219 >>306648536 >I was only 9 years old >I loved Todd Howard so much, I had all the merchandise and games >I pray to Todd Howard every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given >"Todd is love" I say; "Todd is life" >My dad hears me and calls me a f----- >I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Bethesda >I called him a c--- >He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep >I'm crying now, and my face hurts >I lay in bed and it's really cold >Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me >It's Todd >I am so happy He whispers into my ear "Have you preordered Fallout 4 yet?" >He grabs me with his powerful hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees >I'm ready >I spread my ass-cheeks for Todd >He penetrates my butt-hole >It hurts so much but I do it for Todd >I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water >I push against his force >I want to please Todd >He Screams in a girly shriek as he fills my butt with his love >My dad walks in >Todd looks him straight in the eyes and says "It just works." >Todd leaves through my window >Todd is love. Todd is life.

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Anon critiques 90's women | /r/Greentext

File: 1893-vs-1993.jpg (504 KB, 720x720) 1893 1993 What went so wrong? Anonymous 03/08/23(Wed)19:35:10 No.72499802 [Reply] ► >>72499812 Why were women in the 1980s and 1990s so ugly? >> Anonymous 03/08/23 (Wed)19:36:51 No.72499812 ► >>72499837 >>72499802 (OP) Post your face ugly incel and lets critique you >> Anonymous 03/08/23 (Wed)19:40:17 No.72499837 ► File: (me).png (391 KB, 879x600) 16 >>72499812 Looks like I struck a nerve, hm?

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"4chan is full of hackers and incels" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 63 KB PNG : Anonymous I love him >bee 03/09/23(Thu)16:07:54 No.895601750 03/09/23(Thu)16:21:02 No.895603103

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Anon is the "cactus man" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous cactus ruined my life 03/09/23(Thu)14:15:40 No.72504563 > be me, 19yo incel dumbass at IT college > mom have an obsession with cactus, have dozens of them > upload pics of me with cactus in the back 202 KB PNG > get pretty popular and known as the "cactus man" at college > act like I'm a cactus fan and often buy some at the garden center nearby college > poeple sometimes ask me selfies because they think it's funny > be me, in class and extremely bored > bought a cactus earlier (not important) > there's this bitch being a f------ loud monkey in front of me > friend say: "I swear to god I'm f------ kill her" > we start joking around whispering things we'ill do to her > AUTISM KICKS IN > say out very loud: "I swear to god I'm f------ gonna r--- her to death with this f------ cactus" > fuckingfuck.avi > everyone stop talking > poeple look at me with horrified expressions > mfw now everyone hates me and want me dead > mfw I'm now known as the "cactus r-----" > mfw cactus > mfw

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Anon wants to play vidya games just like in his kiddie days | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous This world is just a dream, and I'm done with dreaming! 02/26/23(Sun)21:45:49 No.72374007 I wish I could enjoy playing video games instead of being constantly inundated by the sense of arbitrariness and pointlessness in it and feeling like I'm wasting my life. But it's not like I can get anything I want in real life anyway no matter what I do, so what does it matter if nothing I achieve in a game has any constructive impact on my real life? How much different is it really, striving for artificial goals in real life? What objective value is there in experiencing physical sensations over simply 297 KB PNG imagining things? I know several guys who are happy just coming home from work and playing video games every day, and I wish I could be like them and enjoy a simple, easily attainable life.

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Anon wants to summon a cat girl. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Catgirl Succubus 03/22/19(Fri)21:09:57 No.22393603 nekopara.jpg 158 KB JPG How do i summon a catgirl succubus? www.taigome.org

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anon prefers minors over his friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous M McDonald's 1.58 MB PNG of it 03/09/23(Thu)03:00:53 No.895593843 >28 >purposely get job at mcdonalds >spend every shift flirting with 15 year olds >get some action with one >friend found out >wont talk to me any more because

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anon wrotes a letter for his ex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sad letter 03/09/23(Thu)02:27:18 No.895591011 24 KB JPG Just broke up with My GF and wrote her a letter that i will never deliver to her, but wanted to share with someone >I did want to teach you to skate >I wanted to see demon slayer with you >I wanted to sleep with you >I wanted to grow by your side >i wanted us to plant those little lemon trees >I wanted to be there to see you achieve your goals and I wanted you to be proud of me > And really, I should have fought harder, I should have told you that I'd be with you no matter what. >But I was weak >I'm going to miss your presence > I'm going to miss your smell > your smile and your jokes >I will miss accompanying you to Xochimilco >I will miss seeing the sunset and the moon by your side >I will never forget our dates or songs our first kiss that was so special neither how beautiful you looked when the sun hit your face and your little eyes took on a honey color >i should have told you that I was going to be with you despite all your problems, that I was going to give you everything I could give you >and I was going to give it to you with all the love in the world. >but now you're gone and that's fine, I admire your courage and respect your decision >nothing ever lasts forever, because if things last forever, nothing would have value >I have no choice but to remember this time with care and love > and wish you the best, because you deserve it Isis > only I don't want you to forget about me, okay? > Good luck in everything My skinny precious girl, >loves you very much >-goldilocks >*note: please take care of Genesis:( I AM SO heartbroken/B/ros, she broke up with me because she was not feeling well with everything going on in her life, and did'nt wanted to give me a half hearted relationship, Still i'm f------ heartbroken Everything sucks /b/ros Note:Génesis is a plant i gave to her as a gift

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Anon in shambles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 465 KB JPG 03/07/23(Tue)08:07:11 No.72479658 I've got a funny story for you guys >Be me >just turned 24 >Realize I am now closer to my 30th than my 18th >stillnobitches.png >no friends >no future >my life is the joke Anyone have advice? : Anonymous 03/07/23 (Tue)08:09:22 No.72479672 >>72479658 (OP) # >I've got a funny story for you guys >my life is the joke Why don't you make it 10 stories and then jump

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Greentext Stories - anon cooks a meal | /r/Greentext

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Î 18 KB PNG >be me at 18 >Kicked out of house >Move into college dorm >First day at dorm decide to use my cooking skills and make a ton of food >It's greasy as f---, tons of delicious meat ready to enter my mouth >Turn on family guy so I can laugh at something >Focus on it a bit too long and burn my food a bit, ah well >Notice there's a ton of grease, like enough to soak Goku's ass >Start pouring it down the drain, it takes like 30 seconds to get all of it down >I don't think much of it for awhile >Rinse and repeat, I do this multiple times >End up having to pay some plumber dude to fix my drainage system >Roommate calls me a retard This keeps me up at night

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