Now we wait for Anon to get chopped up in the Congolese jungle | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous Pros of Monke Cons of Monke 150 KB JPG 07/26/21 (Mon)07:45:28 No.859709433 >be me >Be depressed loser with no direction >Sadface >Randomly see return to monke meme >You know that's actually kinda funny >Start researching more about chimps and gorrilas Hey these guys are actually really cool >Want to learn more >Decide I'm going back to school for zoology >Apply for internship at zoo to work with gorrilas >While there meet a cute girl who works with tigers >Eventually planning on going to the congo for research Thank u monke very cool

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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divided by war, united by coom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: aqSLzNzh)I S 02/09/23(Thu)15:17:56 No.415469707 LITTLE PORNY Countries that search for MLP p--- more than the worldwide average. Belarus 462% Russia 427% Ukraine 326% P--- hub MLP INSIGHTS O Rule 34 >>415469150 (OP) # They are the same. Posts Comments Tags Wiki Documentation My Little Pony x Search photo_2023-01-13_23-38-50.jpg 155 KB JPG

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Kindergarten cop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Lolicon Go 01/14/23(Sat)21:47:20 No.28124824 >I want to make an app called Lolicon-Go >Basically a Knockoff Pokémon Go >But instead of Pokemon, you catch animated lolies on your IRL phone cam >They are only located around Elementary Schools and kindergartens >Once you catch one, it send an automated screenshot with your location, name and phone number, to the local police. >Try to explain that you were only trying to photograph the fake children and not the real ones, you Sick F--- Let's work on ideas to catch predators. 640 KB JPG

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Anon wants to be white | /r/Greentext

>be white man in his 20s >wake up on a saturday >finally get a weekend break from your 6 figure STEM job >text back all your trad chad bros and egirls from the night before >shave yourself, other hygiene isn't important in a white mans life >put on some skatewear, streetwear just a hoodie/jeans or business casual >tell your laid back parents that you'll be out for a bit while they cook that century old family recipe >your parents are chill and dont care what you do as long as you graduated college and have any job >hang out around the woods, the lake, or your condo >playing or making music, skating, smoking weed, doing shrooms, working out at the gym, hiking, biking, bouldering, kayaking, playing some vidya or off road driving >evening time and you're sitting at the chat philosophizing about/pol/ and /x/ s--- with your boys >gotta get ready for that rave party you going to tonight with the chads >you meet up with Zoey at the party with the sleeve tattoo >she's still bad as f--- >you f--- the s--- out of her and get wasted >get home at 2 in the morning >sleep like a baby because you got next week off too, paid vacation >it was a damn good day Just watched the movie Scott Pilgrim and I was so envious of how chill their lives were. I wish I was white so f------ much. I didn't realize how soulless my life was as some chronically online NEET nigcel with no family or community or friends to help lift me from this void. It's either go to college, become tyrone with 8 kids at 22, or get shamed forever. White people live on easy mode it's not fair.

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Anon tries to do a good deed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)16:51:08 No.72163100 >Be me. NEET f-- >Go to pick up my little brother from his school. >Standing outside waiting with other parents. >Autistic so I look up at the school and start counting the windows. >Notice movement in one if the windows. >Its a pigeon trapped between the glass and window drape. W--.png >Kids come out with their teachers. >Tell little bro to go and let his teacher know about the bird. Good deed of the day.mp4 >We leave after he come back FF to next day. >Pick up bro again. Ask him about his teacher and her reaction to the bird problem. MFW he tells me, "They saved the bird. But she also laughed at you for just looking up and staring at windows."

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Anon got himself into a pickle on discord | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i got myself into a pickle 65 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)14:31:58 No.72158278 >be me >25 year old with autism and bpd >is lonely one night >starts looking in femboy discord servers >notices a server where it's owned by a femboy looking for a dom >joins for s---- and giggles >main owner adds me >starts flirting with me >i flirts with him back >he tells me that he is 17, despite him not saying anything earlier >starts to panic >tells him that i don't want to pursue a relationship with him >starts to essentially guilt trip me >tells him that i don't want to hurt him >starts going after me more, telling me that he genuinely does want me and he doesn't care about the gap. that he doesn't deserve a healthy relationship, etc. >and this has gone on for 2 days guys, what do i do? on one hand, i feel bad for rejecting him and i feel inclined to do it but, my conscience is telling me that he is too young for this and i would hurt him if the relationship happened. i am sick and tired of being lonely but, i don't want to hurt people either. it sucks because, i am such a people pleaser and i don't wanna hurt his feelings... >inb4 people tell me to kill myself and call me a p---

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Fat and unfit people are gross | /r/Greentext

Zoomers are the least fit generation on record Zoomers are the least fit gene(...) O Who is it? 02/09/23(Thu)05:53:27 No.69897562 GENERACION SUICIDA 1675918805312219.png 2.16 MB NG >In 2021, around 70 percent of Millennial respondents from the United States stated that they participated in fitness sports, making them the generation with the highest participation rate. The generation with the lowest participation in fitness sports was Gen Z. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1051774/us- participation-in-fitness-sports-by-generation/ : Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)06:04:49 No.69897637 >>69897562 (OP) # I remember reading that American troops would throw grenades with such accuracy and speed that they'd often hit the person they're throwing it at. But 80 years ago something around 75% of the American male population played baseball. >>69897779 # >>69900961 # >>69902060 #

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Anon is a surgeon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god

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Anon rejects the rejector | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Creepy Anon my name is n last year, i went on a date with a dude and when i told him i was reading Animal Farm again, he laughed obnoxiously for an entire minute and said i was too old to be reading children's books think about that a lot. wonder if he's still an idiot. de t teraturs You dive pi que read chin boks 303 KB JPG 09/08/22(Thu)14:38:45 No.70130546 >Be me >See cute girl in corner of the room > Bunch of empty desks around her > Sit right next to her > occasionally stare at her > then go back to staring at the lecture > Spread my legs as wide as they can go > When ever she pulls her phone out I stare at it > Make her every moment in the class unbearable without doing anything bad I do this occasionally to get my revenge on all the women who rejected me 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon has a doctor's appointment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What a horrible day... 11 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)09:41:07 No.72158690 >Have to get up at 6 am >Have a hospital appointment >Walk to the bus stop >Bus is running late and its f------ freezing >Finally it arrives >2 and a half hour ride with drug addicts and crazy peope >Get off at my stop >Have to walk an hour and a half to the hospital >Wait around until I get to the outpatients desk >"Oh sorry your appointment was cancelled last f------ second you dont need to be here" >"We called you about it but no one answered" >Walk all the way back to the train station >Bus is late again >really need to s--- >But dont want to miss the bus >Bus comes s---- cold as f--- >Get on board >REALLY have to s--- >Go to the toilet >It f------ stinks >Shid in the terlet >It gets F------ CLOGGED >It smells f------ god awful >Im about to pass out but dont want to open the door because its going to stink up the bus for the next 3 f------ hours >Say f--- and get out of there asap >door is open for 2.3 thato seconds as I slip out of there like a ninja >Old lady on the bus shrieks in horror >"OH GOOD F------ HEAVEN THAT STINKS WHAT THE F--- IS WRONG WITH YOU" >Try to explain it wasn't me >No one believes me >S--- stinks so bad you have no idea >People are dry heaving and giving me dirty looks like I did it >Get off the bus about an hour and a half early with my head held low in shame >Walk back for about 2 and a half hours down cramped country lanes >At least the weather isn't f------ terrible WHAT A F----- UP DAYYYYYYYYYY

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anon mistook affection for attraction again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 10/11/21(Mon)02:44:10 No.65717393 >be me >virgin >have a hot aunt that has always complimented me since I was a child >felt good and masturbated thinking of her but never tried anything >be a while ago >aunt got diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer >got skinnier and hotter (imho) >realize if im gonna ask her to take my virginity this is the perfect moment as she wouldnt feel guilty for long if she does afterwards >be visiting her at her hospital room >talk about all those times she told me I looked handsome and she says I'm still the most handsome guy she's seen >horny.wav >decide to go for it and ask her >she just says "oh" followed by a long pause >ohshit.mp3 >she says she never meant it that way and she's really sorry if that affected me and starts tearing up >fuckfuckfuckfuck.pfk >realize I somehow f----- up again and tell her I need to leave >be days later >worried she would tell my parents and they would give me s--- for it >decide to do nothing about it and hope it solves on it's own >be weeks later, she passes away >be today, couple of weeks later >parents haven't said anything >realize she probably didn't tell them or they are embarrassed to talk about it anons how am I supposed to live not knowing if she told them or not? it's not like I can f------ ask them

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Anon is british | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 44 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)17:38:08 No.72159575 The UK in 2013 >be the place most Americans and other English speakers would move to if they wanted to move to Europe >have one of the best economics in the world >be good place to live if your gay >have a cool family representing the government and governments around the world >have stable government >Be considered a progressive country by most of the world The uk in 2023 >is one of the last places in Europe anyone wants to move to Including Eastern Europe >economy going down the drain and doing worse than Russia >Country completely polarized Over trans people to the point of a potential succession >Have a dysfuctional family representing the government and governments around the world are disassociating with them >Have a clown show of a government >government cracking down on human rights How does this even happen?

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Anon believes in ghost | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 915 KB GIF 02/06/23(Mon )05:45:45 No.34017670 >>34017602 (OP) # >be me >exploring abandoned house in woods near home >see person walk around corner >but it was not person >it was ghost >ghost say "boo!" >I saw "Ah!" >I shoot ghost because I believe in the second amendment and always carry a revolver wedged firmly between the t--- of my woman >Ghost dies >But ghost is a ghost so he's fine >Invites us to ghost barbaque >accept because it would be rude not too after shooting him >Try to eat hotdogs but they're ghost hotdogs so they just go through teeth >Thank ghost and leave still hungry >Order pizza when I get back to house >Doorbell rings an hour later >Open door >mfw pizza deliver boy is the ghost I shot

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