Anon is a surgeon | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon rejects the rejector | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Creepy Anon my name is n last year, i went on a date with a dude and when i told him i was reading Animal Farm again, he laughed obnoxiously for an entire minute and said i was too old to be reading children's books think about that a lot. wonder if he's still an idiot. de t teraturs You dive pi que read chin boks 303 KB JPG 09/08/22(Thu)14:38:45 No.70130546 >Be me >See cute girl in corner of the room > Bunch of empty desks around her > Sit right next to her > occasionally stare at her > then go back to staring at the lecture > Spread my legs as wide as they can go > When ever she pulls her phone out I stare at it > Make her every moment in the class unbearable without doing anything bad I do this occasionally to get my revenge on all the women who rejected me 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon has a doctor's appointment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What a horrible day... 11 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)09:41:07 No.72158690 >Have to get up at 6 am >Have a hospital appointment >Walk to the bus stop >Bus is running late and its f------ freezing >Finally it arrives >2 and a half hour ride with drug addicts and crazy peope >Get off at my stop >Have to walk an hour and a half to the hospital >Wait around until I get to the outpatients desk >"Oh sorry your appointment was cancelled last f------ second you dont need to be here" >"We called you about it but no one answered" >Walk all the way back to the train station >Bus is late again >really need to s--- >But dont want to miss the bus >Bus comes s---- cold as f--- >Get on board >REALLY have to s--- >Go to the toilet >It f------ stinks >Shid in the terlet >It gets F------ CLOGGED >It smells f------ god awful >Im about to pass out but dont want to open the door because its going to stink up the bus for the next 3 f------ hours >Say f--- and get out of there asap >door is open for 2.3 thato seconds as I slip out of there like a ninja >Old lady on the bus shrieks in horror >"OH GOOD F------ HEAVEN THAT STINKS WHAT THE F--- IS WRONG WITH YOU" >Try to explain it wasn't me >No one believes me >S--- stinks so bad you have no idea >People are dry heaving and giving me dirty looks like I did it >Get off the bus about an hour and a half early with my head held low in shame >Walk back for about 2 and a half hours down cramped country lanes >At least the weather isn't f------ terrible WHAT A F----- UP DAYYYYYYYYYY

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anon mistook affection for attraction again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 10/11/21(Mon)02:44:10 No.65717393 >be me >virgin >have a hot aunt that has always complimented me since I was a child >felt good and masturbated thinking of her but never tried anything >be a while ago >aunt got diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer >got skinnier and hotter (imho) >realize if im gonna ask her to take my virginity this is the perfect moment as she wouldnt feel guilty for long if she does afterwards >be visiting her at her hospital room >talk about all those times she told me I looked handsome and she says I'm still the most handsome guy she's seen >horny.wav >decide to go for it and ask her >she just says "oh" followed by a long pause >ohshit.mp3 >she says she never meant it that way and she's really sorry if that affected me and starts tearing up >fuckfuckfuckfuck.pfk >realize I somehow f----- up again and tell her I need to leave >be days later >worried she would tell my parents and they would give me s--- for it >decide to do nothing about it and hope it solves on it's own >be weeks later, she passes away >be today, couple of weeks later >parents haven't said anything >realize she probably didn't tell them or they are embarrassed to talk about it anons how am I supposed to live not knowing if she told them or not? it's not like I can f------ ask them

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Anon is british | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 44 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)17:38:08 No.72159575 The UK in 2013 >be the place most Americans and other English speakers would move to if they wanted to move to Europe >have one of the best economics in the world >be good place to live if your gay >have a cool family representing the government and governments around the world >have stable government >Be considered a progressive country by most of the world The uk in 2023 >is one of the last places in Europe anyone wants to move to Including Eastern Europe >economy going down the drain and doing worse than Russia >Country completely polarized Over trans people to the point of a potential succession >Have a dysfuctional family representing the government and governments around the world are disassociating with them >Have a clown show of a government >government cracking down on human rights How does this even happen?

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Anon believes in ghost | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 915 KB GIF 02/06/23(Mon )05:45:45 No.34017670 >>34017602 (OP) # >be me >exploring abandoned house in woods near home >see person walk around corner >but it was not person >it was ghost >ghost say "boo!" >I saw "Ah!" >I shoot ghost because I believe in the second amendment and always carry a revolver wedged firmly between the t--- of my woman >Ghost dies >But ghost is a ghost so he's fine >Invites us to ghost barbaque >accept because it would be rude not too after shooting him >Try to eat hotdogs but they're ghost hotdogs so they just go through teeth >Thank ghost and leave still hungry >Order pizza when I get back to house >Doorbell rings an hour later >Open door >mfw pizza deliver boy is the ghost I shot

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Anon joins the list | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous cold aproachad a girl for the (...) >be me > go to the mall to pick up a girl >this way I will >after one hour of nervous observation and nervousness finally find a girl whose I find cute and I have the courage to go talk to > "hey I'm Anon I just wanted to tell you that you look hot, hmmm I mean cute, aha" > " Oh thanks but I'm actually twelve" UNIS 01/07/22(Fri)17:08:18 No.66892132 31 KB JPG

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Anon has bedbugs | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)08:13:26 No.72156042 33 KB JPG >get infested with bed bugs >as I lie hopeless in bed, these creatures are free to feed on me >realize how easily they ruin people's lives >begin feeding them and then putting them in jars to breed them >walk around at different times opening the jar on people's apartments and house >begin monitoring social media to see people seething about the bed bugs >people literally have no choice other than to fumigate their house and live elsewhere for days >drop bed bugs on their property again >going to leave a swarm of bed bugs in this apartment when I have to move, then repeat the process You could be doing the same.

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Anon gets trolled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 215 KB GIF 02/05/22(Sat)02:32:46 No.67290413 >at gfs house >casually binging youtube while she takes a shower >she asks me to give her a new bath towel >open the door to give her the towel >shes not there >the shower isnt even on >take a moment to process >im in someone's house >last time I talked to anyone was 10 yrs ago >never had a GF (29) >the walls are turning to white >a straight jacket is wrapped around me >im a the psych ward >mfw I trolled myself again by taking the meds

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Anon is set for life with this one strange trick that liquor store owners don't want you to know about | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 146 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)08:03:45 No.72158085 I think found an infinite money glitch >be 24, look 16 >go into liquor store >clerk doesnt believe me >bet him $100 that im actually 24 >call the cops on me >cop confirms I'm 24 >win $100 Would this actually work? I dont see any problem with it except maybe the cops get mad at me for bothering them all the time. : Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)08:05:07 No.72158091 You are retarded enough to be 16 I'll give you that

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Anon makes her sister cry | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 33 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)12:55:01 No.72157703 >sis got new makeup >I was just being honest and told her it was ugly >she started crying and wouldn't talk to me >mom said it would be okay in a week >a week later >"hey sis I just want to apologise about the makeup" >"are you an a------ anon I almost forgot about it but you recall it again" 3 Replies >she starts crying again should I wait for another week? View Thread

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Anon get his ass beaten | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.63 MB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)06:37:29 No.72155387 >confronted my sister for losing another job >we aren't going to make rent if she doesn't cover her chunk >I'm paying for her groceries and all other bills right now too >she just starts hitting me >I push her and try to deescalate >she comes at me again >surprise I'm way weaker than I thought >she beats the s--- out of me >like bloody nose, black eyes, ears ringing >pulls my clothes off and keeps beating me >tells me to shut up or she'll kill me >only comes out to eat and use the bathroom 13 Replies I'm officially f----- if I don't move out but I can't let this lease go under because I probably won't get accepted anywhere decent if I do View Thread

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Anon is fed up with racism | /r/Greentext

Oscars: Danielle Deadwyler claims Hollywood is 'deeply impacted by racism' Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)06:13:47 No. 180362844 >Be Danielle Deadwyler >be greatest actress of her time >give greatest performance of year in Till >miles ahead of any of those white bitches' performances (obviously) >don't get nominated for best actress >go on righteous crusade condemning the Academy's "systemic racism" really applaud her bravery. But I think maybe her argument about the Academy's "unabashed misogyny towards black women" is sort of undermined by the fact that a black woman was nominated for an acting Oscar - just not her...

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