Fat and unfit people are gross | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Zoomers are the least fit generation on record Zoomers are the least fit gene(...) O Who is it? 02/09/23(Thu)05:53:27 No.69897562 GENERACION SUICIDA 1675918805312219.png 2.16 MB NG >In 2021, around 70 percent of Millennial respondents from the United States stated that they participated in fitness sports, making them the generation with the highest participation rate. The generation with the lowest participation in fitness sports was Gen Z. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1051774/us- participation-in-fitness-sports-by-generation/ : Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)06:04:49 No.69897637 >>69897562 (OP) # I remember reading that American troops would throw grenades with such accuracy and speed that they'd often hit the person they're throwing it at. But 80 years ago something around 75% of the American male population played baseball. >>69897779 # >>69900961 # >>69902060 #

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is a surgeon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god

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Anon rejects the rejector | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Creepy Anon my name is n last year, i went on a date with a dude and when i told him i was reading Animal Farm again, he laughed obnoxiously for an entire minute and said i was too old to be reading children's books think about that a lot. wonder if he's still an idiot. de t teraturs You dive pi que read chin boks 303 KB JPG 09/08/22(Thu)14:38:45 No.70130546 >Be me >See cute girl in corner of the room > Bunch of empty desks around her > Sit right next to her > occasionally stare at her > then go back to staring at the lecture > Spread my legs as wide as they can go > When ever she pulls her phone out I stare at it > Make her every moment in the class unbearable without doing anything bad I do this occasionally to get my revenge on all the women who rejected me 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon has a doctor's appointment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What a horrible day... 11 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)09:41:07 No.72158690 >Have to get up at 6 am >Have a hospital appointment >Walk to the bus stop >Bus is running late and its f------ freezing >Finally it arrives >2 and a half hour ride with drug addicts and crazy peope >Get off at my stop >Have to walk an hour and a half to the hospital >Wait around until I get to the outpatients desk >"Oh sorry your appointment was cancelled last f------ second you dont need to be here" >"We called you about it but no one answered" >Walk all the way back to the train station >Bus is late again >really need to s--- >But dont want to miss the bus >Bus comes s---- cold as f--- >Get on board >REALLY have to s--- >Go to the toilet >It f------ stinks >Shid in the terlet >It gets F------ CLOGGED >It smells f------ god awful >Im about to pass out but dont want to open the door because its going to stink up the bus for the next 3 f------ hours >Say f--- and get out of there asap >door is open for 2.3 thato seconds as I slip out of there like a ninja >Old lady on the bus shrieks in horror >"OH GOOD F------ HEAVEN THAT STINKS WHAT THE F--- IS WRONG WITH YOU" >Try to explain it wasn't me >No one believes me >S--- stinks so bad you have no idea >People are dry heaving and giving me dirty looks like I did it >Get off the bus about an hour and a half early with my head held low in shame >Walk back for about 2 and a half hours down cramped country lanes >At least the weather isn't f------ terrible WHAT A F----- UP DAYYYYYYYYYY

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anon mistook affection for attraction again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 10/11/21(Mon)02:44:10 No.65717393 >be me >virgin >have a hot aunt that has always complimented me since I was a child >felt good and masturbated thinking of her but never tried anything >be a while ago >aunt got diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer >got skinnier and hotter (imho) >realize if im gonna ask her to take my virginity this is the perfect moment as she wouldnt feel guilty for long if she does afterwards >be visiting her at her hospital room >talk about all those times she told me I looked handsome and she says I'm still the most handsome guy she's seen >horny.wav >decide to go for it and ask her >she just says "oh" followed by a long pause >ohshit.mp3 >she says she never meant it that way and she's really sorry if that affected me and starts tearing up >fuckfuckfuckfuck.pfk >realize I somehow f----- up again and tell her I need to leave >be days later >worried she would tell my parents and they would give me s--- for it >decide to do nothing about it and hope it solves on it's own >be weeks later, she passes away >be today, couple of weeks later >parents haven't said anything >realize she probably didn't tell them or they are embarrassed to talk about it anons how am I supposed to live not knowing if she told them or not? it's not like I can f------ ask them

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Anon is british | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 44 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)17:38:08 No.72159575 The UK in 2013 >be the place most Americans and other English speakers would move to if they wanted to move to Europe >have one of the best economics in the world >be good place to live if your gay >have a cool family representing the government and governments around the world >have stable government >Be considered a progressive country by most of the world The uk in 2023 >is one of the last places in Europe anyone wants to move to Including Eastern Europe >economy going down the drain and doing worse than Russia >Country completely polarized Over trans people to the point of a potential succession >Have a dysfuctional family representing the government and governments around the world are disassociating with them >Have a clown show of a government >government cracking down on human rights How does this even happen?

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Anon believes in ghost | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 915 KB GIF 02/06/23(Mon )05:45:45 No.34017670 >>34017602 (OP) # >be me >exploring abandoned house in woods near home >see person walk around corner >but it was not person >it was ghost >ghost say "boo!" >I saw "Ah!" >I shoot ghost because I believe in the second amendment and always carry a revolver wedged firmly between the t--- of my woman >Ghost dies >But ghost is a ghost so he's fine >Invites us to ghost barbaque >accept because it would be rude not too after shooting him >Try to eat hotdogs but they're ghost hotdogs so they just go through teeth >Thank ghost and leave still hungry >Order pizza when I get back to house >Doorbell rings an hour later >Open door >mfw pizza deliver boy is the ghost I shot

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Anon joins the list | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous cold aproachad a girl for the (...) >be me > go to the mall to pick up a girl >this way I will >after one hour of nervous observation and nervousness finally find a girl whose I find cute and I have the courage to go talk to > "hey I'm Anon I just wanted to tell you that you look hot, hmmm I mean cute, aha" > " Oh thanks but I'm actually twelve" UNIS 01/07/22(Fri)17:08:18 No.66892132 31 KB JPG

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Anon has bedbugs | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)08:13:26 No.72156042 33 KB JPG >get infested with bed bugs >as I lie hopeless in bed, these creatures are free to feed on me >realize how easily they ruin people's lives >begin feeding them and then putting them in jars to breed them >walk around at different times opening the jar on people's apartments and house >begin monitoring social media to see people seething about the bed bugs >people literally have no choice other than to fumigate their house and live elsewhere for days >drop bed bugs on their property again >going to leave a swarm of bed bugs in this apartment when I have to move, then repeat the process You could be doing the same.

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Anon gets trolled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 215 KB GIF 02/05/22(Sat)02:32:46 No.67290413 >at gfs house >casually binging youtube while she takes a shower >she asks me to give her a new bath towel >open the door to give her the towel >shes not there >the shower isnt even on >take a moment to process >im in someone's house >last time I talked to anyone was 10 yrs ago >never had a GF (29) >the walls are turning to white >a straight jacket is wrapped around me >im a the psych ward >mfw I trolled myself again by taking the meds

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Anon is set for life with this one strange trick that liquor store owners don't want you to know about | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 146 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)08:03:45 No.72158085 I think found an infinite money glitch >be 24, look 16 >go into liquor store >clerk doesnt believe me >bet him $100 that im actually 24 >call the cops on me >cop confirms I'm 24 >win $100 Would this actually work? I dont see any problem with it except maybe the cops get mad at me for bothering them all the time. : Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)08:05:07 No.72158091 You are retarded enough to be 16 I'll give you that

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Anon makes her sister cry | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 33 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)12:55:01 No.72157703 >sis got new makeup >I was just being honest and told her it was ugly >she started crying and wouldn't talk to me >mom said it would be okay in a week >a week later >"hey sis I just want to apologise about the makeup" >"are you an a------ anon I almost forgot about it but you recall it again" 3 Replies >she starts crying again should I wait for another week? View Thread

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Anon get his ass beaten | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.63 MB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)06:37:29 No.72155387 >confronted my sister for losing another job >we aren't going to make rent if she doesn't cover her chunk >I'm paying for her groceries and all other bills right now too >she just starts hitting me >I push her and try to deescalate >she comes at me again >surprise I'm way weaker than I thought >she beats the s--- out of me >like bloody nose, black eyes, ears ringing >pulls my clothes off and keeps beating me >tells me to shut up or she'll kill me >only comes out to eat and use the bathroom 13 Replies I'm officially f----- if I don't move out but I can't let this lease go under because I probably won't get accepted anywhere decent if I do View Thread

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