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> On the train to London > Really need to fart > Starting to hurt a bit > Starting to hurt a lot > Train shakes a little, want get up to go to the bathroom before I f------ burst > Don't get the chance, my sphincter can no longer take the strain > Manage to discreetly edge my buttcheeks apart, comes out slowly but silently > Pass gas for a Solid 60 seconds > Oh no > Oh god the f------ smell > People are looking at each other > It's really f------ bad. > enemyspotted.jpeg > A foreign smell impacts my nostrils > The dude opposite me is staring me right in the eyes > He f------ knows, and ripped one of his own > It's f------ on > Spread the cheeks a little wider, much as I dare > Push > Clearly and loudly s--- myself staring into the eyes of a complete stranger.

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Anon plays guitar | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 76 KB PNG 01/13/23(Fri)04:39:25 No.892528302 >be me >literally like 14 seconds ago >jerking off >reach orgasm and nut >nut flies across the room and f------ strums my guitar I am a f------ master

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Anon has a conversation with his classmates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How uncircumcised dudes eat their cereal 437 KB JPG 01/14/23(Sat)01:35:19 No.892561396 >be me >high school student (I'm 18 you t----- jannies) >classmates are talking about how they should "bring back bullying" >8/10 gril asks my opinions on the topic >decide to share my input >"Bringing back bullying is a horrible idea. school shootings are already fairly common, we don't need more of them" >I show them that picture of adam lanza. the one where hes holding the guns standing in his house >"look at this ugly ass guy, he definitely got bullied for his looks. probably why he did it" >tell them about another shooting in which the perpetrator was a victim of severe bullying as more proof >they all go silent and just stare at me for a bit >"f--- off you virtue signalling school shooter victim blaming p------------" >"Bullying means less school shootings because then they'd kill themselves instead of shooting up the school" >mfw Ahh Geez, I wonder why mass shooters do it. When a kid gets bullied into suicide everyone has sympathy for him and hates the bullies. But when a kid gets bullied so much that he shoots up the school and kills his bullies, he is a p------------ and the bullies are considered "victims". funny how that works I beat the s--- out of anyone that I see is bullying. don't want a school shooting to happen? then beat the s--- out of bullies. if heroin was legal elliot rodger would not have killed those women. heroin feels better than sex >pic unrelated 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon's a chad | /r/Greentext

LES WISDOR 1652456198828.png 587 KB PNG >"Anon, I need your help" >"sure, mom" >*quits ranked match*

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Anon should get together with her and also start going to the gym with her. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 12/29/21 (Wed)22:40:06 No.66770723 >have female friend for years >never attracted to her, she's ugly and fat but nice >suddenly feel romantic attraction to her >want to marry and f--- her where the f--- did this come from? It was practically overnight. 12/29/21 (Wed)22:42:10 No.66770748 : Anonymous >>66770723 (OP) # You got desperate

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Turtle chomp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >Turtle chomp >Chomp on leaf >Turtle chomp >But have no teeth *Chomp, chomp, chomp* Hahaha. :) 01/13/22(Thu)10:01:12 No.66969223 turtle chomp.jpg 35 KB JPG

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Anon's bloodline is doomed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be me >chillin in my room >mom comes in, tells me my sister is gay >kinda figured she was before, haircut, had a couple rainbow flags, thought she was bi tho >now realised my entire family's bloodline relies on me now >me >mfw just f--- my life man, all i feel is limitless guilt doom and despair 14 KB PNG 01/23/21(Sat)17:22:54 No.61999933 I don't even care that she's gay, i support her, but this realisation has just made me feel 1000x worse about it 9 Replies View Thread

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Anon will wake up one day and adhere to such a discipline that he has never displayed even once in his life | /r/Greentext

nonymous 17 KB JPG 11/21/22(Mon)22:10:15 No.710752 >I'll do it tomorrow >I'll magically develop the discipline, commitment, drive and goals that I've lacked for my entire life when I wake up tomorrow >Things will get better then

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Anon has a shitty jeans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous A curse upon my anoose 160 KB JPG 11/17/22(Thu)14:21:54 No.71020058 >have a pair of jeans like picrel >wore them twice after i bought them >first time i was driving to work >fart >feel ass all greasy and moist >turns out i s--- myself >go home and switch pants, no witnesses >second time im at a bar ,mildly drunk >go to bathroom stall to piss >fart, s--- myself >quickly leave bar and ditch friends,think no one noticed >yesterday i was moving stuff to new apartment >i just spilled coffee on my pants >open drawer, the only pair of jeans left is the ones i s--- myself in TWICE I have a job interview in 30 mins and this is the only pair of pants i have to wear. Already feeling my guts churn and stomach hurting Im going to s--- myself today, arent l?

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Anon likes MASH | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/13/23(Fri)13:31:14 No.179155419 >>179155284 I have fond memories of this despite being younger > Come down stairs one night at age 9/10 at like 2am > Hear the TV on in the lounge > My Dad is watching MASH, Can't remember the episode but Trapper and Hawkeye were stealing blood from Frank whilst he slept > See Hawkeye in a hawaiian shirt and cowboy hat > Episode finishes, expect Dad to shuffle me off to bed > He asks me if I want to watch another > Spend the next few hours watching MASH until the sun comes up > The next day when having tea he brings me a glass of water in a martini glass and calls me Hawkeye Thanks OP for reminding me of this memory

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nick anondams goes to bodega | /r/Greentext

File: mgwxg33oytba1.jpg (40 KB, 640x438) Nick Adams (Alpha Male) @NickAdamsinUSA I was at a bodega this morning when I saw a small boy ask his mother for some candy. As I saw her hand reach for a package of M&Ms, I cried out and left my place in line to stop her. Once I informed her M&Ms had gone woke, she thanked me profusely and opted for a Twix instead. 9:46 AM Jan 13, 2023 42.5K Views 84 Retweets 69 Quote Tweets 715 Likes alpha activities >at bodega >waiting in line blubbering at the mouth wetting myself waiting to scream at something >see infantile child getting some m&ms by their suffering mother ⠀ (ID: /cKcbQQn 01/13/23(Fri)11:05:29 No.16845282 >lessgo.jpg >begin sprinting towards them at Mach 10 >shove the 5-year-old out of the way, concussing him >begin screaming and beating the mom for infecting their Christian child with woke communism gay m&m queer grooming >she and her now-disabled child run off >envelopes detailing her eviction fall out of her purse This is how you stop the woke neo-Marxist mob

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Anon had a peculiar date experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 14 KB JPG >next day >date arrives 04/22/18(Sun)16:19:55 No.766669688 >3 days ago >Find girl on meet me >great convo >get along great >she is 19, average build with a cute dorky smile >agree to go on a date next night >5 minutes in she shows me a picture "Oh did you little sister draw that!?" "Lol no I did Anon!!!!" >poker face >shows me a picture of her fridge full of stick figure drawings of her family "....oh very nice." "Lol right!" >shows me her Devianart Page >furry p--- >leave the table >swear off dating for a while

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Anon gets a compliment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous brootal 01/13/23(Fri)15:19:50 No.71807626 >be me >20 yo >getting some papers for work >lady on the counter is in 40s moderately attractive >"Hello, your id, anon." >"Hmm, why are you bald on your id and now you have hair?" >"I used to shave my hair back then." >"Don't do it again, you have a prettier face now, baldness never brought anything good. Take care." >mfw 135 KB PNG View Thread

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Greentext Stories - Anon does a paint job | /r/Greentext

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> On the train to London > Really need to fart > Starting to hurt a bit > Starting to hurt a lot > Train shakes a little, want get up to go to the bathroom before I f------ burst > Don't get the chance, my sphincter can no longer take the strain > Manage to discreetly edge my buttcheeks apart, comes out slowly but silently > Pass gas for a Solid 60 seconds > Oh no > Oh god the f------ smell > People are looking at each other > It's really f------ bad. > enemyspotted.jpeg > A foreign smell impacts my nostrils > The dude opposite me is staring me right in the eyes > He f------ knows, and ripped one of his own > It's f------ on > Spread the cheeks a little wider, much as I dare > Push > Clearly and loudly s--- myself staring into the eyes of a complete stranger.

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